I’ve loved doing these Ask Me Anything sessions the past few months on Instagram. You guys have the best questions & always keep me on my toes! But I realized I needed to have more elbow room to stretch out & really flex my… fingers… & not cramp my thumbs.
Thanks for all the amazing questions! I sat down this afternoon with some Ray LaMontagne (swoon) & a home made mocha & typed up some A’s to yer Q’s. Without further delay… here goes!
Ask me anything
@clickitupanotch asks
What is your go-to store for clothes? What is your favorite piece of clothing everyone needs?
My go to store would probably be the Loft. I can seriously find anything to wear there & know if I need something I can go there & consistently come out with a piece I need. I’m also a pretty consistent size there so I can order online easily.
My fav piece of clothing that I think everyone needs is a good pair of denim. I seriously believe in the power of an amazing pair of pants. I know there’s all this media about how so the denim industry is headed south because women are now wearing leggings & sweat pants everywhere. To that I want to say – LADIES! Stop the madness! Get yourself a good pair of denim. And learn what type of body you have & what style fits you best. I’ve had many, many, many pair of jeans in my lifetime but maybe 5% of them actually fit my body type. For years I agonized over low rise jeans & tried to make them work for my body. They don’t! I’m a rectangle & I still have a 4x pregnancy pooch so a low rise jean just doesn’t look good on me. Over the years I kept thinking if only I could lose 5 more pounds those low rise jeans would look good on me. I didn’t know that while I could try to lose all the weight I wanted, that actually didn’t do anything to change the shape of my body. That is genetics, my friends. What looks best on me is a high rise jean & I wear em proudly. Thank goodness for denim manufacturers who have brought back the higher rises. I also think it’s important to look for jeans that have a pocket that ends right above the curve of your bum. You want your bum to look higher & smaller. The lower the pocket, your bum looks like it’s slipping down your backside. Are there exceptions to this rule? Yes, absolutely. Read about my not so boyfriend, boyfriend jeans here. They are bigger & baggy & the pockets are low AND they have a lower rise. But that’s the style I want in those jeans. They are my comfy, slouchy, running errands jeans. When I wanted a fitted denim, I make sure they tick all the boxes I need – fits in the bum, higher rise, fits in the waist, good pocket size.
@nourishmeprimally asks
In regards to the meat you cook at home: do you always buy pastured, & if not, what is the bare minimum quality that you will allow in your home? ie: organic, hormone/antibiotic free, etc.
In regards to our meat, do I always buy pastured? The short answer to this is no. Not always. We do our very best to buy the best quality of meat we can for our family. Does that always happen the way I’d like it to? No, not always. Just like any other family, things happen – not making it to the specialty grocery store, not being stocked up with our cow share, not having as much money one month because of activities, vacations or home repair, etc. Things happen. I try & not get too stressed out when I can’t buy exactly what I want & that’s because I consider us fortunate & know, for a fact, that many other families do not have the same resources we do, both financially or geographically to good farms/stores. Have I purchase conventional grain fed beef for my family to eat? Yep, sure have. I didn’t love it but at the time, it was a means to an end & I think many people can relate to that. When I go grocery shopping in both my parents & inlaws home towns, I see how lucky we are to have access to quality meats where we currently live. I’ve seen grass fed beef in some grocery stores go for up to $11 a pound!! That is just bananas!
If in a situation where I have to choose the lesser of two evils, I shoot for grass fed, then pastured, then organic. Hopefully I can hit the mark by choosing to purchase under one of those labels.
I’d also like to note here that if invited to someone’s house for a meal or if someone brought us dinner, I would never say Hmmm, are these chickens free range, pastured, antibiotic free??? Otherwise I can’t eat them. That would just be rude. I am grateful for friendship & food no matter what form it comes in. Truly.
@heathersnapsfood asks
How old are your kids & how do they feel about the food you feed them? Do they eat it? Throw fits? If so, how do you deal with that at meal times? Also, are they in public school & if so, how do you deal with the outside influences/pressures/treats from school & others? Then she adds (Can you tell I’m having some struggles?)
Heather, I love ya. Your Q made me giggle. Your struggle is very real & something I understand so let me begin by saying, I treat this struggle as a marathon, not a sprint. So… my kiddos are elementary school age & toddler age. Safe to say 10 & under. How do they feel about the food I feed them? I will be honest. 95% of time time they love it. They eat it happily. They don’t complain. They don’t question. They ask for seconds or thirds. The other 5% of time time we have situations like this: Why can’t we eat bread? Why can’t we have cereal? Why don’t you want me to eat 12 brownies? Why can’t I have chocolate chips for breakfast? Can we go out to eat? I don’t like xyz. I really wish we could buy (insert anything here, Twinkies, pop tarts, cake mix, high fructose corn ice cream, popcorn mix, blah blah blah) because those things look so delicious! So I would answer the question of how they feel about our food the same way – 95% of the time, they love it. 5% of the time, they don’t.
Do my kids throw fits over food? I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time, if ever they did. And here’s why. They don’t have to eat it. In my house we have 2 choices – take it or leave it. But if you leave it, don’t expect anything else. I do the same with my big kids school lunch. If they don’t eat something they can eat it when they get home – because kids are always starving when they get home, right? If they don’t want to finish their lunches & I’m feeling generous, I’ll offer them one fruit or veg & then they’ll wait till dinner to eat. What if they don’t want to eat dinner? They’ll eat a good breakfast.
My philosophy on feeding your kids is that you have so many other things to struggle with. Pick your battles.
Yesterday my older kids came home & instead of eating their leftover lunch, they trashed it. Then, they went straight for their after school snack. In these instances, I have no problem putting my foot down & explaining to them they are being wasteful. If they wanted to put that food in the trash I could have done it while making their lunches that morning. With my older kids we also talk about expenses & helping them to understand we have 6 people to feed so being wasteful hurts our family. It’s one thing to not eat something but it’s another thing altogether to simply throw it away because you didn’t feel like eating that particular thing, even tho you were hungry, right then.
My kiddos are in public school & the majority of their peers eat school lunch. I’ve seen it. It’s not great. My kids understand they don’t eat school lunch, they eat cold lunch.
How do I deal with outside influences/pressures/treats then? Again, I have to go back to picking my battles. Here’s a perfect example. My son is selling popcorn for a fundraiser this year. Do I love the popcorn? No. Do I want to eat that popcorn? Nope. Will I end up buying some popcorn? Yes, probably. Do I support my son? Yes. Do I support his activities & endeavors? Absolutely. Do I think any good would come from me saying to him, I won’t be buying your chemical laden, industrial toxic waste snacks, thankyouverymuch! No, I do not.
But, let me be very clear, I talk to my kids. A lot. We talk about why we don’t eat certain foods. We talk about why we do eat others. We talk about the differences between our food & their friend’s food. We talk about why our food costs so much & why we make extra efforts to source & purchase it. We talk about how we feel on the occasions we do eat outside of our normal faire. We talk about tummy aches, grumpiness, energy levels. We also talk in the grocery store about packaging & marketing & businesses who would put cartoon characters on a box & why apples & steaks don’t have any brightly colored packages. My oldest son definitely understands this concept. Does that mean he wouldn’t eat a Snickers bar if you gave him one? No, he probably would. But he’s the same kid who reads a label before he blindly asks if he can throw something in the cart. Right now he’s checking for mom approved ingredients. Hopefully one day he’ll be checking for his own list of approved ingredients. That’s why I consider my fight for real food for my family a marathon. It’s something I’ll continue to pick my battles on & plug away at for the next (hundred?) years.
PS. Our boxes lunch boxes are from Planetbox, because everyone asks that Q.
@symphonyof4 asks
What are your favorite essential oils & where do you put them on your skin?
I use a few different oils & pretty much anything that crops up in my house, I have an oil to treat it. We use melaluca for any skin issues like scrapes, rashes or bumps. I use oregano for warts. Personally, I use lavender, geranium, lemon or melaluca on my face mixed with rosehip or jojoba oil.
@holloboss asks
How do you best manage your time?
Frankly, I don’t think I’m a great time manager. I do some things out of habit at certain points in the day but for the most part, I just make time for what takes priority that day. I try to stay off Facebook, which just distracts me. I keep a calendar & if I’m really on top of things, I make a list for the day of what needs to be done, which helps me stay on task. Otherwise do you have any suggestions for me @holloboss??? I’d love some tips!
@karlapdolo asks
What are some items you think should always be kept on hand, regarding food?
I would say whatever items your family will eat & make your life easier. For us it’s eggs – lots of eggs. Quality deli meat. Fresh fruit. Organic baby carrots. Home made broth. Home made almond milk. Butter. Coconut oil or other dairy free fat. Oh & coffee. Always coffee. Some kind of fresh veg. I can make some kind of meal if I have all of those things.
@annie_rabe asks
Best sources for dishes & display props for food photography?
I say start at home with what you have. Look for things that can be used & are naturally photogenic. Can plates be photogenic? Absolutely! Then, source your family. Do they have things they want to get rid of? I recently got some amazing white, porcelain, tea cups my mom just had sitting around doing nothing at her house. If you want to start buying things, start slowly. Shop at antique stores or etsy & if you find antique silverware, snatch it up because that stuff can be hard to find! My favorite mainstream stores would be Anthropologie, Sur La Table & TJMaxx/Home Goods. But don’t go to those places expecting to cash in & buy all your props at once. Building your property closet should take time & be done one or two pieces, at a time.
@littlekauaigirl asks
What’s your favorite brand of jeans? Did you purge your shoes also & if so – what are the styles you have left?
So… currently, my fav jeans would either be my Loft modern skinny jean in literally any wash or ankle length, I just adore them. I have a lighter & darker wash. I’m also newly obsessed with my MiH high rise pencil leg denim. Like… so obsessed I can’t stand it. They fit my body perfectly thanks to the high rise & pencil leg.
When I did my Capsule Wardrobe closet purge I did get rid of some shoes but not really anything I can say I’ve honestly worn. I mainly got rid of some high heels I’d been keeping around yet never reaching for when it was time to dress up. I also got rid of some loafers that never really said yes to me when I tried to pair them with something. What did I keep: My Birks, of course. While these are technically summer wear, we still have a handful of warm days when I can wear them. I also kept my white Cons. They are a hero piece & go with anything – literally anything I have in my capsule. Also kept my wingtip oxfords from Target. They are beyond adorable & will also go with everything I have. Finally, I kept my Frye Phillip Harness boots. I worked long & hard to save my pennies to get those beauties so no way was I letting them go! They are my favorite fall boot. Every season, when it’s time for them to reappear, I give them a good polish & they look brand new. Not to mention they are so comfortable!
@alliniebauer asks
Cutting your hair: When did you do it? Does it make it easier with kids? And… How do you balance having kids, eating Paleo & working? I work a lot & eat Paleo. We want kids but between my health hang ups & the time constraints, it’s hard to imagine adding kids to the mix.
First, my hair. I cut it about 2 years ago, right after we moved. I had very long hair but it wasn’t very healthy. You may not know this (so let me be the first to tell you what I wish someone told me!) but after you have a baby, you lose your hair. Like… a lot of it. Not everyone does but many moms shed that gorgeous pregnancy mane & I am no exception to that rule. So while my hair was very long, it was also very thin & I had a lot of new baby hairs growing in around my face. Glamorous, no? I tried to manage that with bangs but… eh. I cut my hair & donated the healthy 12 inches to Pantene Beautiful Lengths. Like any gal, I had good & bad hair days, but for the most part the bad outweighed the good & I felt like I needed a change. The real issue is I was just sick of my hair.
Does having short hair make life easier with kids? Well, there’s a yes & no to that. We all know how easy a pony tail is & I consider the pony to be the quintessential mom hair or college girl hair or little girl hair. It’s a means to an end. Doesn’t mean I don’t love a pony, I do. I’m just saying, it’s easy, is all. When I cut my hair short I really felt like it encouraged me to step up my game. Suddenly, I had pretty great looking hair so I figured, hey, if my hair looks good I should go ahead & put some pants & mascara on & call this day a win! That started to roll over into what I was wearing, how I was feeling, how I approached life & other people. My hair cut was a change & it made me feel confident, bold, brave. So I started to behave more that way. I understand you were really just asking – does it take less time to fix your hair so I’ll say no, it probably takes me a bit more time to dry & style my hair now than it did to put it in a pony tail when it was long. I can be ready in under 30 minutes, however. But the real point is that I enjoy taking that time for myself & looking in the mirror & saying, Hey, look at you. You’re doing alright today!
How do I balance having kids, eating Paleo & working? Well, I’m fortunate enough to say my first job is mom & I completely understand how lucky I am to say that I can choose that. I’m slowly working on becoming a work at home mom, via this little endeavor called Eat Your Beets. When I was pregnant with my first child I was working & my husband & I discussed what I’d do after baby was born. We really didn’t know how I’d feel but we had the means for him to say it was my choice whether I returned to work or not – ever. After I had my son, I knew I couldn’t go back to work so I didn’t. I took over being a mom full time, from home. But I always kept in the back of my mind this thought of what I would do when I grew up. Or rather, what I’d do when the kids grew up. I knew I wanted to still be able to stay home & be available for the kids so I started to daydream about things I could do while doing just that. After I had my 4th child I decided to start this little hobby (turned new business) because while Mom will always be my first job, I was ready for something that was a little more about what I could put out to the rest of the world, not just my household. How do I balance it all? Well, I don’t.
Luckily, the nice thing about having kids is that you get to grow together. You’re given a tiny infant (most times) & while they are tiny, your understanding of parenting & raising them is also tiny (most times). What I’m saying is that (most times) you aren’t handed a tantruming, possessed, screaming toddler & told – Take care of that, would ya? You get to grow together. You get to learn how to manage your life & your child & your relationship with your spouse & the fact that you’re already thinking about all this tells me you definitely have what it takes to work it out & be a great mom.
You mentioned your hang ups so I will (again) tell you something I wish someone had told me. You (most likely) will not ever damage, ruin or destroy your child, no matter how bad your hang ups are. You will show your child you’re human, you make mistakes, you learn from them & you’re a better person for it. You will learn how to relax your hang ups & when to pick the real battles. When people ask me how I balance everything I very quickly say – I don’t. I have learned how to let go. Accept a messy house. Accept dirty hair. Accept screaming toddlers will embarrass you in the grocery store. Accept you can’t do everything & learn how to ask for help or hire it out. This way you’ll be able to accept snuggles. Accept cuddles from sticky fingers. Accept ‘I love you’ notes written in wiggly, scrawling letters. Accept home made meals made from sugar & burnt bread. Accept macaroni necklaces. Accept parenthood. It’s not perfect. It’s messy. But it’s worth every minute.
@boyce.heather asks
How did you make the transition from Veveeta Mac & Cheese to the gorgeous veggies I see every day in your feed? Especially with the kids. We love some carbs & dairy over here & since I don’t love to eat veggies, I don’t present them in earnest to the kids as much as I should. How to make that leap?
Well, first, thanks for the sweet complement. I will tell you in complete honesty, what you see every day in my Instagram feed is the result of slowly changing our food over the past 10 years. It started with me realizing I could probably make a Hamburger Helper meal without the Hamburger Helper box. I could figure out how to make sauce & mix it with a meat & pasta. That led me to start thinking about making chicken thighs instead of frozen chicken nuggets. We made slow consistent changes over time that were always moving forward but also allowing me to grow into a new lifestyle. When I say lifestyle I mean in regards to grocery shopping & cooking. It started with me reading labels, then replacing the poor food choices with better ones. Then seeing what I could make myself at home. Then seeing how I could incorporate new fruits or veggies into the mix. I fell into the gluten/grain free food movement when my kiddos were having some digestive issues that I was hoping I could solve with changing our diet. I was onto something so I kept pushing even further.
How would I encourage you to make the leap? I would say start small, as I did. Start by reading labels & seeing what you’re really buying. Could you make it more healthy or with fewer ingredients if you made it yourself? Could you sub butter for canola oil? Could you stop buying low fat milk products? Those were some of the small steps I took. As far as veggies go, I’m not going to lie. I really don’t think you can tell your kids to eat something if you won’t eat it. I’m sure some people disagree with me but they can write about that on their own blogs. Just kidding. Kind of. I would encourage you to take your kiddos to the store or heck, even just have them list the craziest veggie they’ve ever seen or heard of. Go buy it & cook it. I have a hard & fast rule to make veggies easy – steam, sauté or roast. That will pretty much cook any veggie you might come across so don’t sit around & ponder how can I make a butternut squash fit into my meal. Just cut it up & roast it. My friend Jessica took on a 52 week challenge of introducing a new fruit or veg to her kiddos every week & it was fantastic. Maybe try something like that! Plan to plant a garden with the kids next year & map out what you’d like to try or taste. Go to a farmer’s market & give each kiddo a couple dollars to pick out a veggie. Take the leap. Just jump. You can do it. The old Mac & Cheese me (below) knows you can.
@keriannerobinson asks
I want to know what you did with the clothes your purged? Donate or consign?
When I did my Capsule Wardrobe purge I wanted to try & get some return on the things I was purging. Some items I consigned through Thredup. Some others I sold to friends (or friends of friends). The rest I donated.
@tamihackbarth asks
How do you get so much done every day? What does a typical day look like? Are your little people at home?
First, thanks for thinking I get anything done! Some days I feel like the house, laundry & life is taking me over! I’ve been told I have an unusual amount of energy but I’m not sure I feel that’s the case. Half of my kids are home, half at school. How much I get done every day really depends on what I have to do. Some days I do a load of laundry. More often than not, I end up doing the bulk of my laundry one day a week. More often than that, I end up rewashing the same load twice before it hits the dryer. I can’t take all the credit here either. My kids have a lot of home responsibility including bringing me their laundry & then folding it & putting it away. Cleaning their rooms & taking care of dishes. On the weekends they help clean the bathrooms. My husband very often cooks dinner. So, we try & make it a group effort.
My typical day is getting up & getting the kids ready for school. Running little ones around, running errands or grocery shopping. Cooking 2-3 meals, trying to keep things tidy, website work, social media work, sometimes I get a shower. Then after the kids get home we have evening activities, dinner, bedtime. I think my day looks like most stay at home/work at home mom’s & my home probably looks like their’s too. Unless they have cleaning people. Then, they win.
@japakok asks
Will you be my BFF? {Someone} asked Beth Moore & she said yes so I figured it was worth a shot.
Japakok. I don’t know your first name or even where you live but sure, I’m always looking for new friends. And since she’s so friendly, I’d like to take this opportunity to ask Beth Moore if she’d like to be my friend, as well.
@d_j_a_c asks
Do you recommend seeing a GAPS specialist when embarking on the program?
Thanks for this question. I have a couple of thoughts on this. Do I recommend seeing a GAPS certified practitioner. Yes. Can you do it alone without someone helping you? Yes to that as well. We were following the GAPS diet for almost a year before I was able to find a holistic doctor & nutritionist. I talk about it in this post. Did they help me diet wise? No. I feel like I actually knew more than they did in regards to GAPS but especially in regards to my son & his food sensitivites. What they were able to provide for me were 2 things. One, a sounding board to bounce ideas off of. Arthur couldn’t tolerate so many things like peppers, tomatoes, cinnamon, cocoa powder, etc. But on GAPS he also wasn’t supposed to have so many starchy veggies. This was making his diet so limited. Through the encouragement of our nutritionist we decided to start incorporating more GAPS illegal veg into his diet & I’m glad we did. I know he can tolerate a sweet potato or a parsnip. He cannot tolerate tomatoes or chili powder. Secondly, the holistic doctor was able to get me supplements that would best suite him. He takes several supplements & if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t know about them or his dosage. They were also able to order a stool panel for us to take from Arthur so we could further investigate why he seems to still have flares. If finding a practitioner isn’t practical or you can’t afford it, I would recommend you consider doing something like The GAPS Class, taught by Melanie Christner. This is my affiliate link. Melanie teaches an amazing program that would be comprehensive & supportive. If I had known about the class when we first started Arthur on GAPS I would have absolutely taken it because, as you said, my head was swimming with questions & I didn’t even know where to begin. We literally just dove in head first & I spent hours online reading blogs & researching success stories. I wish I had more support but I just did the best I could at the time.