[its real late at night, so if I sound messed up, blame my fatigued brain. But I'm typing this up at this time because I can't sleep. I'll edit it later if needed]
Alright, guys. I never thought this was to be what I was going to do. But I guess it's happening.
I'm taking a break. A long term break. For many reasons.
I'll just start with: my first two years in this forum have been a complete and utter mess.
I joined here at the end of P6 - young, bitter age of 10 - and I would spend my days as this antisocial girl playing Minecraft and all, because I was being just depressed every day by my aspect of life in primary. I had heard some Weird Al music, so I came on here and decided to pop in, see what was going on. To say the least, I was stunned, and became addicted.
WOWAY Apprentice was a historical moment for me on WOWAY. I found a new friend, Jon - it was how we had our first interaction and we've noticed that we just happen to enjoy the same things, interests, hobbies. Honestly guys, I don't know about y'all, but he is the nicest person I know on this forum. He even said so himself - he is the nicest person to me. Jon is pretty much the only guy whom I think views me as a nice person on the forum, and is partially why I'm taking a break from WOWAY. Jon actually cares about me and sees me as a bright, intelligent girl. I just don't think you guys like me anymore. I've been anxious about this before and I still am. Sure, Jon will argue with me at times, but he still tolerates me for who I am. He got me into They Might Be Giants, whom have become an influence in my life and created a great memory on my first ever ski trip. He seemingly has changed me, but nobody else seems to like me onto the degree where I want to see if what they like is what I like. That is part of why I am taking this break - nobody likes me anymore except for one guy and I think I need to slow down a little.
The moany kids joining here lately are what are driving me to take this break. Sure, I was one of them, but look guys. I might have depression and anxiety, or similar, and I was (and still am) sensually awaking. You need to imagine how hard it is to go through all of them at once. Sure, I'm beginning to enjoy my fantasies and all, but I still feel anxious about them and I also still get very uptight over how crazy my desire gets at times. I'm also being seen by mental health services, not exactly yet, but that's reassured for now. I still remember that one time I sent a suicidal message to everybody I considered close to me on the forum back in September, and even although I didn't mean it, I still regret it. I've made my decision to stay on this planet Earth. I'm trying to remain optimistic getting through each day. But these moany kids who only care about venting here when they have counsellors is just so terrible, and I'm unsure how we're letting them get away with this. They're in true misery and they need help, but they have it. Why can't they just be happy on this forum for once? I just want to see these kids engaging on the forum normally. I'm not saying I'm leaving until they can, I'm saying I'm leaving just to temporarily not see any negativity.
I also now have Tumblr which I've become pretty much addicted to. I pretty much have stopped using WOWAY in lieu of Tumblr, so it makes sense I take this break. If you wanna follow my tumblr, or want to know how to reach me, my link is in the description. IT IS ihaveabirdhouseinmysoul, if you wanna keep it for later.
So yeah...
I'm taking a break. I'm addicted to Tumblr, these kids are making me sad, and I don't feel anybody here likes me anymore. It's probably gonna last 2 weeks to a month. I still think of WOWAY as a family to me, but I just notice lately that the atmosphere is just... not going to stay intact for a bit. It makes me sad to see WOWAY just... like this. Especially when I've had such good friends. I miss everybody from when we all had a good time. I'm sorry to say that I have to take this break, but at this point, it's a must.
I'm sorry this almost-month long break has to happen, but you can still reach me through Tumblr. With these tough times approaching to an end, I don't want to be reminded of them by all these teenagers whom are even older than me, but more importantly, the fact nobody seems to have respect for me anymore because I was in the group of teenagers that joined the forum and caused the great mental health issue. I just don't feel like that without taking a break, I won't be able to get a good reputation, and have people see me different.
Also, if you honestly want to understand me properly; you'll need to read this thoroughly:
http://www.autism.org.uk/asperger
So, farewell my WOWAY friends. Just remember I'm not gone forever, not even for a year. It'll be over before y'all know it. I'm still reachable through Tumblr or even Twitter, but these days if you talk to me through Tumblr I'll respond quicker. I'll also check WOWAY frequently to check messages and the forum and that, maybe respond to a post once a week. But for the utmost, I'm mostly gone.
Speak to you all once I come back later this month/March.
//heds
Statistics: Posted by Heds — Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:54 am