Towards the end of 2006, I was struggling to decide whether to continue working towards my PhD. At that time, I took a trip to Goa with a group of friends, some new and some old. This was the most adventurous trip I have ever taken. This travelogue is influenced by the incidents of that trip including an accident, sleeping on the roadside, sleeping on the beach, being thrown in the water in the middle of the ocean, a cop chase and witnessing an incidence of molestation. Amidst all of this, I had some deep conversations about life, career and relationships, which shaped several future decisions of my life...I have changed the names of the travelers to maintain confidentiality.
Copyright @ Ashish Gupta
Pune to Goa
“Bhaiya, one tandoori chicken please-” Said Deepak.
“-and repeat the drinks.” added Ravi.
Deepak was 5 years younger than I, almost the same age as my younger brother. Ravi was 10 years older than I. This man is a tanker, I thought as I observed Ravi gulp down the remaining drink from his glass.
This was the first time I was having drinks with either of Ravi or Deepak. Considering the difference in our age, the three of us formed a very unlikely group of drinking buddies.
While waiting for his refill, Ravi asked, ““Bobby, when do you fly back?”
“5th Jan”, I said just as the waiter came with our refills.
As everyone got busy enjoying the fresh batch of vodka, Ravi’s question pushed my thoughts back to the problem I had been trying very hard to forget all evening. I was pursuing PhD in the USA. Just a few months back, my PhD advisor had quit professorship to take up another job. In fact, that was the reason I was in India — there was nothing for me to do in grad school.
If you are or have ever been a PhD student, you know that your life starts and ends with your advisor. A change of advisor at this point would have reset my graduation clock by several years. Quitting PhD to take a job would have made the four years spent in school seem like a waste. Also, I did not think that I was cut out for the corporate world and the thought of taking a job was petrifying. This evening was the first time I was actually enjoying myself since I got the news of my advisor quitting.
Pulling me out of my thoughts, Ravi asked, “What are your plans until then?”
“Just chilling at home”.
“Chilling, or exploring prospective brides…” Deepak interrogated.
“Nahi yaar (No my friend),” I replied. I had no money, no job and no clear long term goals. Marriage was the last thing on my mind.
Ravi said, “Arey kya (What) Bobby, you have come to India after a long time. Do something.”
Grabbing a piece of chicken, Ravi continued, “My vacation at work is going to lapse. Let’s take a trip together.”
“Mai bhi chaluga, (I will also come)” said Deepak. He had recently completed his BCom and was still trying to figure out what to do next.
“Sure. Trip sounds good,” I said.
“Where?” asked Deepak.
“Lonavala?”, I asked
“Nah, there is nothing to do there,” Deepak dismissed the idea.
“Guys! Which is the best place in India for 3 bachelors to go…” asked Ravi smiling mischievously, as if he already knew what our answer was going to be.
“Goa!”, said the three of us, almost in unison.
The rest of the evening was spent discussing how much fun the Goa trip would be as we chugged glass after glass of vodka.
Next morning, I called a local travel agent and booked a six seater Jeep. I told him to give us a good vehicle and a Hindi speaking driver.
“Don’t worry sir. I will give you a first class vehicle…” the agent assured me.
Deepak’s parents had a vacant house in Goa. The plan was to crash there for a couple of days. My brother had agreed to join us too and so had one more of Ravi’s friend, Kishan.
I woke up at 8am on December 24th, the date of departure. We were supposed to be on the road by 8:30am. Feeling guilty for getting late, I rushed to get ready. I was glad to see no missed calls from the travel agent. Good that the jeep was also running late, I thought.
I finally got ready at 9am. There were 3 missed calls from Ravi. I called him and put the blame of delay on the driver since the jeep had still not come. I called the travel agent. He did not pick the phone. I kept trying for another 30 minutes. Finally, I gave up and opened the phone book to find another agent.
The third agent that I called picked up my call. He said, “Sir this is Christmas weekend. Very busy. You should book in advance.”
I admitted my mistake and asked him if there is anything he could do.
“I have a Tata Sumo,” he said
“Chalega, (Will do)” I replied with a sigh of relief.
My brother and I stood in front of our house with our bags on our shoulder eagerly waiting for the Sumo. Our wait ended at 10:00am when we saw a white jeep making its way towards our home. The first thing we noticed about the jeep was the weird clicking sound it made periodically. However, we did not have the patience to assess the jeep’s fitness for the long road trip — we quickly threw our bags on the back seats and jumped in.
We picked up the rest of the gang from their homes and were soon on our way to Goa. The Tata Sumo was in a pathetic condition. With its broken air-conditioner, non-ergonomically designed parallel seats in the back and shock absorbers which seemed to have given up somewhere along the way of its 250,000 kilometer running, the five of us crammed the Sumo for the trip of our life.
We spent most of the 10-hour long journey listening to music, playing cards and chit-chatting meaninglessly. Around 8 pm, our driver announced that we are pretty close to the Baga beach. This announcement was welcomed with loud and prolonged howling. The plan was to have dinner at the beach and then head to Deepak’s place to crash for the night.
Relationship Status
We walked on the beach looking at the lineup of shacks. Most were crowded and had loud music playing. The shacks had tables laid down on the beach all the way into the water. People were sitting with their feet in the water while enjoying their drinks and food. So cool, we thought.
Soon, we found a shack which was relatively vacant and had trance music playing at a tolerable volume. We requested the waiter to give us one of the tables in the water. Soon, we were sipping on vodka cocktails with cold water of the ocean washing our feet, taking away the tiredness from the long journey. A tiny candle was lit in the center of the table and the five of us sat in a circle around it.After a few minutes of random chit-chat, I said, “Hey, Kishan, tell us more about yourself.”
“Well,” said Kishan, “I am 26 years old. Work for TCS. Live in Pune with parents. I have a younger sister-”
“Saale, kaam ki baat bata (Share the important news dear),” Ravi interrupted
“Well…, I am getting married next month.” Kishan said sheepishly.
This revelation was welcomed with sounds of cheers all around the table.
“Who is the girl,” I said, thinking that I too was 26 years old and still completely unsettled in life.
“She is a software engineer too. She works in Pune.” said Kishan pulling his legs up on the chair.
“How did you guys meet?” I asked
“My dad found her on some matrimonial website”
“Nice! Did you guys get to know each other before saying yes?” this time it was Deepak’s turn to ask a question as he smeared mint chutney on his chicken piece.
“We met a couple of times and also spoke on phone a few times.”
“How did you know she is the one?” I asked — the key concern I used to have regarding arranged marriages.
He hesitated and then said, “Well, I knew I want to get married. She is from a good family, well educated, nice to talk to. Can I really know anything more than that? Honestly, I don’t know if she is THE ONE.”
Ravi jumped in, “No one can really know that — it’s a leap of faith. Cheers to the home boy. Next round of drinks to wish him a happy married life.”
“Anyone else wants to announce their marriage?” I asked as the next round of drinks were served. Everyone laughed.
My brother Kunal said, “I will go next-” my heart skipped a beat as he continued, “-I am dating someone.”
This was news to me! Deepak poked his elbow into my brother’s ribs and said, “Chupe rustam (Dark horse). Give us the juicy details.”
My brother started sharing the details of his love life while I was lost in my own thoughts. I always thought of him as a kid, and the idea of him dating someone felt unreal. I had grown up believing that dating and love marriage are against the social norms. Yet, here was my own brother, who seemed pretty happy defying those norms. I imagined how it would feel to date someone and just the thought gave me a rush of hormones.
After sharing the details of his love life for a while, my brother tried to shift the attention away from him by passing the buck to Ravi, “Bhaiya, when are you getting married?”
He said, “I am happy the way things are. No marriage on cards.”
Ravi was 36 and by the social norms, he should have been married with a couple of kids by now. Ravi’s mother had called me a day before the trip requesting that I should try to convince him to get married. I tried pushing him by asking, “Will you ever get married?”.
Ravi said decisively, “See, I have had my share of relationships, but none that I would want to convert into a marriage. Lets leave it at that.”. He picked his fork and stabbed it into the last piece of chicken, as if to emphasize not to push him on this topic.
Deepak addressed me, “Bobby, what about you Mr. NRI? Beautiful foreign girls? Kuch masti ki (Did you have any fun)?”
I said, “Dude, I am a PhD student. Fun is not in syllabus.”
“Kitni padhaai karega saale. Padhaku. (How much will you study. Nerd),” retorted Deepak.
“Actually, my advisor has just quit his job recently. I might have to quit my PhD too.”
“Ouch,” said Ravi keeping his drink down, which meant that he was getting serious, “Can’t you continue under a different professor?”
“That will reset a lot of the work and I will have to start over.”
“Quit PhD Shi-hD. Take a job. Earn in dollars. American ladki pata (Date an American girl). Live the dream.” things were always simple and straightforward with Deepak.
“I am interested in doing research work. Office politics is not for me,” I said.
“Tough,” said Ravi picking his drink back, which meant that he had officially given up trying to solve my problem.
Trying to change the subject, I asked Deepak, “How is your love life going. Still with the same girl?”
“Nah, she left me. Said I was not serious about life.” Deepak said with a wry smile.
“Why? What do you mean?” I asked.
“Yaar, she was not supportive of my goal of becoming a DJ-” A collective laughter from the group interrupted Deepak. Kunal laughed so hard he fell down from his chair into the water. Ravi shushed us as the waiters and other guests stared at us curiously.
“Seriously?” I asked incredulously.
“Tum to mat haso saalo (You of all the people should not laugh at me),” dejected Deepak said, “My dad keeps saying padh le (study). You know I suck at studies. I want to move to London and become a DJ.”
“You need to show us how good you are,” said Kishan with a chuckle
As more drinks were poured, we got deep into the night, singing and dancing to DJ Deepak’s tunes of table thumping.
Accident
It was around 1am when we finally wrapped up our drinking session and headed to the parking lot where our driver was waiting for us. Deepak’s house was in South Goa, so we still had some distance to cover. We started our journey on a relatively dark night with our field of vision limited to the headlights of the jeep.
Just as we entered the ghat section of the journey, everything went dark. Jeep’s headlights had suddenly stopped working. Our driver stopped the jeep. In the dim light provided by our Nokia feature phones, he opened the hood of the jeep and looked for something that could give a clue for what went wrong with the headlights. He also tried restarting the jeep a few times but nothing seemed to be working.
We huddled together to discuss our options.
Kishan said, “Shall we call some mechanic?”
“Who will come in the middle of nowhere at 1:30am.” asked Deepak
“Lets try to hitchhike to the nearest town,” said Ravi
“Sounds good,” I said, putting my phone back in my pocket
We had to wait for 15 minutes before we saw the headlights of a distant vehicle cutting into the otherwise pitch black night. We began flashing our phones and waving to stop the vehicle. As the headlight approached, I could feel my heartbeat increasing. The vehicle zoomed past us without slowing down.
We kept trying to stop vehicles for another hour, but with no luck.
“Why will anyone stop for us this late at night? People will suspect that we are roadside thieves.” I said in a dejected tone.
Deepak said, “See, my house is another 10–12 KM from here. There is hardly any traffic. How about we turn on all our cell phone lights and slowly drive forward?”
“This is the only option,” we agreed. The driver tried to protest, but it is difficult to stop five drunk men when they come up with a brilliant plan.
Our jeep began crawling once again at a snail’s pace. The lights from the cell phone was giving us the visibility of just a few meters, but we were moving ahead towards our destination. After a few minutes, we started believing that this could actually work.
While crossing a sharp bend on the ghat, we heard the sound of another vehicle coming from the other direction. Our driver slowed down. We became nervous — this was the first real test of our lighting arrangement. After what felt like a really long time, our wait ended and two bright lights shone right into our eyes. Our driver suddenly pressed his foot on the accelerator and swerved our jeep to the left. All this happened very fast, and before we knew, our jeep had come to a crashing halt as it hit a tree on the side of the road. We were thrown off our seats on top of each other.
The vehicle coming from the other direction kept on going and was out of our sight soon. On returning to our senses, we first checked to ensure that no one was injured. Thankfully, no one was hurt. We were all stunned, but still managed to ask the driver why he swerved left. Thanks to the tree for stopping the jeep, else we would have fallen in the ditch next to the road.
He said, “I panicked since I could not see anything.”
Deepak said, “Yaar, saari utar gayee. Ab kya karenge (All drinks are wasted. What do we do now)?”
Ravi said decisively, “Folks, we are spending the night right here. The jeep is already off the road. Let us just spend the night in the jeep. We will try to hitch a ride in the morning.”
Since the jeep was pretty crammed up, I put on my jacket and decided to settle on the hood of the jeep. Soon, Ravi joined me. We could see a few stars through the spaces between the leaves. I had a strange feeling of thankfulness towards this tree. In a way, I felt like we owned it our life. I asked Ravi, “Yaar, What should I do about my PhD?”
Ravi asked, “Why are you doing a PhD?”
I said, “I am drawn to open ended research projects.”
“Then why not find a new advisor?” asked Ravi.
“I have already spent four years. Already have 6 journal publications lined up. With a new advisor, it could take another four. When will I start earning? When will I get married?” I replied instinctively.
“Dude — your advisor has left. Accept it. You need to either quit PhD or find a new advisor.” he said in a harsh tone.
After a pause, he continued, in a mellowed down tone this time, “As I see it, neither of the options looks all that bad. You will be fine either ways.”
Ravi’s tone did shake me up internally, which helped me realize that I was indeed stuck resenting the current situation and was unable to move forward to think about my next step. I said in a pondering tone, “You may be right. I could try to find a job with a company like Microsoft, Apple or Google. I might find some research project there. Starting over with a new advisor may also be fine — just that it delays marriage and other things…”
“Why do you want to get married?” Ravi interjected.
“It’s not that I want to get married NOW. But, eventually, wouldn’t I?”
We heard the jeep door opening and soon Kishan joined us, “Whose marriage are you guys discussing?”
I changed the subject, “Yours, who else!”
He said, “Meri chodo (Forget me). Ravi, I am seriously telling you, you should also take the plunge and just get onto the arranged marriage wagon. You are 36 already.”
Ravi said, “What has age got to do with this? Why do we need to box our life? Which one of the two is better — being unhappily married at the age of 36 or being happily single at the age of 36?”
Kishan said, “Hey, don’t jump on me. I am just saying this because your mom had called me yesterday and asked me to convince you to get married.”
I said, “She called me too!”
Ravi said patting our backs, “Well, she is a mother — she did her duty. The two of you have done yours. Come now, we should try to catch some sleep.”
It was difficult to sleep after an exhilarating and eventful day. We just laid with our eyes closed until the sun rose. When there was sufficient light, we inspected the jeep for damages. Thankfully, there was only a minor dent on the front bumper. The driver turned the key to try and start the jeep. It started after a few attempts. The group cheered and we were on our way.
We reached Deepak’s place, took a quick shower and laid on comfortable beds to catch some sleep. We left Deepak’s place in search of a mechanic around noon. Since it was the Christmas weekend, no shops were open. Even after an hour of driving around and asking local folks, we could not find any mechanic.
We had eaten nothing since our dinner, last evening, and we were hungry and hungover. We finally gave up and asked the driver to take us back to Baga beach.
Molestation
After reaching the beach, we scanned for a good shack for lunch. We spotted one we liked and walked towards it. At the entrance, the waiter stopped us, “Sir, we don’t have any open table.”
Peeking over his shoulder, we could see several empty tables. I noticed that there were no Indians in the shack, only foreigners.
I said, “Do you not allow Indians?”
Waiter gave us a wry smile and said nothing.
Deepak’s blood boiled and he said, “This is my country. I demand a seat.”
After a long debate, the waiter went in to talk to his manager. He came out and said, “OK sir, please come in. But please behave.”
We took seats and ordered some food. The shack was full of Europeans mostly, some sitting with beer in hand, others lying down on their back to absorb the sun while others lying with a book in their hands. I saw that there was an Indian guy standing next to a European girl who was sitting on one of the shack cots. After a while, he sat down next to her. I elbowed Ravi to point his attention towards this development. Suddenly, this guy put his hand around the girl’s shoulders. The expression of discomfort was evident on the girl’s face.
Deepak whispered, “Something does not seem right!”
Before we could say another word, Ravi sped towards the girl. The other guy left in a hurry. Ravi came back to us and we looked at him expectantly. He said, “I asked them if they were together. The guy ran away without saying anything. I just said sorry to the girl.”
When the waiter came with our food, Ravi told him, “We are sorry for fighting with you earlier. You were right. We should not be allowed here.” We paid our bill and left with our still empty stomach and heads hanging in shame.
Deepak said, “Does anyone else feel that we are to be blamed for what just happened?”
I sighed and nodded my head affirmatively and thought — Why this guy did this? Why couldn’t he approach that girl for a coffee or something like a normal person should? Well, the idea of dating itself is not acceptable in Indian society. Is that part of the problem…
None of us were hungry anymore. Thus, we decided to take a stroll on the beach. The beach was crowded as expected during the Christmas week. Soon, most folks ran to partake in water sports. Ravi and I stayed behind.
Ravi removed his shoes as it filled with sand. I copied him. He asked me, “You have spent 4 years in US. What are some of your best memories?”
I stared at the waves for a few seconds recollecting my life in the US. I replied, “US is beautiful. Florida, Smokey Mountains….The trips that I took were great.”
“What else?” asked Ravi.
“I have made a lot of friends. Played a lot of TT. Cooked. Watched a lot of movies…” I paused once again as the memories of good times spent in the US came rushing back to me, “…This is the first time I have lived all by myself, it is fun.”
“Cool. OK, what did you not like about living in USA?” Ravi flipped the question.
“Umm… staying away from my family,” I did not need to think before answering this question, “I often think — What is the point of all this.”
“Bobby, your answers are exactly what I expected. Do you realize that your research is neither the part of your best or your worst memories.”
We stopped walking and stood facing the ocean. I picked up a sea-shell lying near my feet and threw it in the ocean, all the while trying to figure out why my PhD work is not part of my memories.
“See Bobby, you and I, we crave for a balanced life. Work is important for us. But other things are more important. Just make sure that you do not spend your life chasing less important things at the cost of more important things.”
I nodded in agreement not knowing what to say. Relationships did matter to me more than anything else. Yet, I was living in USA away from everyone that I cared about. Maybe I should get married — I thought. We started walking again, towards the rest of the gang.
Ravi continued, “You want to do research. In Computer Science, a lot of research happens in the industry. Maybe you will like it. If you don’t like it, go back for a PhD.”
For the first time since I had heard the news of my advisor leaving, I could physically feel the clouds of uncertainty and anxiety lift off my head. If I could find a job that I liked, it would pave way for quickly settling down in life. This way, maybe, I could also expedite moving back to India to be close to my parents once again.
“This makes a lot of sense bhaiya. Let me think a bit more about this”, I replied as we reached the rest of the bunch as they were getting ready to ride on a banana boat.
Ravi and I quickly grabbed life jackets and jumped on the banana boat with them. The jet-ski sped up, pulling us in its wake. It took us deep into the ocean and made a sudden u-turn, throwing all of us into the ocean. I did not expect this. Since I did not know how to swim, I panicked and swallowed some sea water. Even though the jacket kept me afloat, I thought I am going to die. One by one, the jet-ski person helped us back on the banana boat. Deepak was laughing out loud with joy. I cursed him for not warning me in advance. Soon we were back on the beach. Now that I was assured that this was not the way I was going to go, I started feeling great due to the lingering adrenaline.
Fleeing Felon
We could see the sun approaching the horizon. Ravi said, “It’s probably another hour before sunset. The car lights are still out. What should we do?”
Deepak said, “Let’s just spend the night on the beach. No fun in going back home now. Daru peete hai (let’s have drinks)”
Soon, we settled down once again at the same shack as the last night.
“Bobby, what are you going to do. Come back to India. We will meet more often like this,” said my brother as the drinking picked momentum.
“It is tempting indeed,” I said
Deepak said, “Yaar, don’t come back. You are in a developed country — just be there and enjoy. If it was up to me, I too would move to London and become a DJ.”
“Yeh fir shuru ho gaya, (He has started again)” said my brother
Deepak replied, “I am very serious. There is a two-week DJ workshop in London. My dad is not letting me go. He says, gawaiya nahi banna (don’t become a singer).”
“How much does it cost?” asked Ravi
“Five lakhs. I already have two lakhs saved up from my summer job and pocket money. I am thinking of taking some job and save up the rest.”
“So you are really serious! It could take you years to save money for this.” Ravi expressed his concern.
“I can loan you a lakh,” I instinctively said. As a graduate student, I had learnt to live on meager stipend and even save from it. Usually, I would send all my savings back home to my parents and thus I would not have more than a few hundred dollars in my account at any given point in time. Since I had not transferred funds back home for a few months, I actually had a couple of thousand dollars in my account.
“Chal. I will loan you the remaining two lakhs — but only if this DJ thing really means something to you and is not just a fad,” asserted Ravi.
“How will I pay you guys yaar, no no, I can’t take this,” reasoned Deepak.
“See, Once you become a successful DJ, remember us and pay us back with a thousand percent interest.” I replied half joking.
“Deal,” said Deepak, cheerfully.
“It is set then. Deepak will become a DJ in London. Cheers to that!” concluded Ravi.
“Shit man! I don’t know if she is THE ONE!” yelled Kishan out of nowhere.
“Ab ise kya ho gaya (What happened)!” exclaimed my brother.
“Nahi yaar! I barely know Alka. What if things don’t work out?”
Ravi said, “Dude, the time of judging is over. You can judge all you want until you propose someone. Now that you are getting married, it is time to accept and make her THE ONE.”
I used to be skeptical of the arranged marriage system, but this makes complete sense, I thought.
When the waiter came with our next round of drinks, we told him about our plans of spending the night on the beach. He said, “Sir, no daru after 1pm.”
We told him that our jeep had broken down. He said, “My manager will fire me.”
He agreed to lend us some of the beach benches after we promised to pay him a hundred rupees. He told us that the shacks closed at 1am and that we will need to pretend to leave at that time. The manager of the shack usually wraps things up and leaves by 2am. He agreed to lend us a few benches once the manager leaves.
Soon, we got a few benches lined up next to each other and lied down. Moist wind was blowing hard on our already moist clothes from the banana boat adventure earlier in the day. Still, tired from the long journey and sleepless last night, we quickly fell asleep.
We were startled out of our sleep by the sound of a stick hitting our bench. It was a constable.
He yelled, “Who are you? Why are you sleeping here. Not allowed.”
The person nearest to him was Deepak. The constable once again banged his stick on Deepak’s bench. Deepak jumped up from his bench and started running. The constable ran after him. We stood there puzzled at what just happened, rubbing our eyes. The constable soon caught up and swung his stick. Deepak fell down on his knees as the stick hit his calf.
We ran towards him. He was crying, “Sorry sir. Please sir, I can’t go to jail. Mai London nahi ja pauga (I won’t be able to go to London).”
With his ego massaged, the constable calmed down, “Who are you guys.”
I said, “Sir, we are visiting from Pune. Our jeep broke down. So we could not go to our hotel.”
“You can’t sleep here.” he reiterated.
Ravi said, “Sir, where can we go sir? All the repair shops are also closed due to Christmas. We will leave as soon as the sun rises.”
He said, “You will have to pay a fine.”
We looked at his face waiting for him to tell us the amount. After a pause, he said, “You guys have no respect for the law.”
Ravi said, “Sorry sir. How much fine, sir.”
“One thousand rupees.”
The cop was soon on his way with one final warning, “Leave as soon as the sun rises”.
We walked back to our benches with two of us helping limping Deepak back to the bench. Deepak showed us his swollen calf and we burst into laughter.
“Why did you run?” I asked
“I was scared,” replied Deepak
“If he had run any faster, he could have reached London on foot,” Ravi said holding his stomach and laughing.
After giving a hard time to Deepak for a while, we settled down once again on our benches, feeling entitled this time, having paid the fine.
Epilogue
The next morning, we got the jeep repaired and headed back home. On the way back, none of us spoke much. I stared out of the window for most of the journey thinking back about my grad school days.
When I was enrolling for the PhD, my advisor had told me, “I want you to ask yourself what it is that you want to achieve in life. If there is any way to achieve it without doing a PhD, then don’t do a PhD.”
Companies like Google, Yahoo, Amazon, eBay and Microsoft were ahead of academia in pushing the boundary of CS in many areas. Maybe I should give a try getting a job at one of these firms. I thought. For the first time in my life, I knew that I was ready to get married. This made me even more excited about the idea of taking up a job. I landed in the USA on 5th January. Within a couple of weeks, I got offers from several companies, including Google, which topped my preference list due to the challenging problems it was tackling. Within six months of joining Google, I felt reasonably settled and quitting PhD felt like the right move.
About a year after the Goa trip, once I felt settled in my job, I created a matrimonial profile. I liked the profile of a girl and sent her an email. She replied. She told me that she was visiting USA to meet her brother who lived in Boston. After exchanging a few emails, she felt comfortable in sharing her phone number. Soon, we were talking everyday, for hours at a stretch. We talked in the morning as soon as we woke up. I used to call her in my lunch break. We talked again at night.
We continued talking over phone for several weeks. We were both keen to meet each other in person. I had an India trip scheduled which coincided with her return to India. We landed in India on the same day and met the day after we landed. As she walked towards me in a blue sari, red lipstick and hair falling on her shoulder, I instantly knew that I wanted to marry her.
We are about to complete a decade of living as husband and wife. Through good times and bad, through the feelings that range all the way from deep love to extreme resentment, we have been working on our marriage, knowing that we are THE ONE for each other.
Life is a series of accidents. We control very little of what happens to us. Yet, our actions and our decisions play an important role in shaping our life experiences. I am married to my wife because my advisor quit his job, which took me back to India, where I met my friends for drinks on that fateful evening, which led to our Goa trip. Conversations during my Goa trip led me to quit from PhD, and make up my mind about getting married. My wife happened to be looking for a life partner at the same time as I, which is the reason we connected. She happened to visit USA at just the right time, which allowed our phone conversations that formed the connection between us.
Life can unfold in infinite possible ways. All of us are living one of those possibilities. We can spend a lot of energy and time trying to control those possibilities, but I now believe that the universe is unfolding as it should.
Soon after the trip, we had transferred funds and Deepak went to London for the DJ workshop. He did not speak much about his experience, but soon after returning, he enrolled in a class to prepare for CAT. Today, he is a successful Manager at a big firm. Even though he earns well now, we are still waiting for him to pay us back. His excuse is that since he did not really become a DJ, he does not need to pay us back.
I could not attend Kishan’s wedding since I was back in the USA, but I was told that it was a blast. The girlfriend that my brother told us about turned out to be the love of his life. He is happily married to her. Ravi is still happily unmarried and his mother seems to have finally made peace with it.
Just as before, we rarely meet even now. But when we do, our meeting does not end without reminiscing the trip and a vow to take a similar trip again. None of us ever takes the initiative to make it happen — none of us wants to risk tinkering with the fond memories of the trip of a lifetime.