Maybe if I hadn’t held you tight to me when you were small, you wouldn’t feel unable to handle anxiety.
If I had breastfed you longer maybe you wouldn’t have the eating disorder.
If I had sent you to school when you were younger then you might not have dropped out of college.
Maybe if I had controlled you, your spirit wouldn’t be crushed by depression.
If I had held tighter to your hand, perhaps no one would have been hurt.
Maybe if I had given you what you needed, you wouldn’t keep bouncing in and out of rehab.
If listened to the fear, I bet you would be better than you are.
Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten away from me, if I had tried harder.
If I had always understood, maybe we would have made better decisions.
Maybe if I had tucked your hand in my pocket while I snapped a memory, I would be able to let go
Of the idea that I’m responsible for all that goes wrong.
Of the idea that you are wrong.
Maybe if I let you be free, I would be free.
Maybe if I made you live,
Filed under: Writing Tagged: musings, parenting, poem drabble, Poetry 
