2017-03-14

Is everyone singing the same song or does it feel sometimes like you are all out of tune? How to get in sync with one another to create a happier, more connected household.

David has asked to stop and use the bathroom. This is not an unreasonable request: We are, after all, on an eight-hour road trip, and he is after all, 6 years old. Ah, but the bells are tolling, tolling, tolling out the death of everything good and right in the world because David we stopped at a rest stop not even ten minutes ago. But of course, when we stopped he said that he did not have to go. I didn’t, he says apologetic.

I turn around and look at him. His little face is like a deflating souffle; he is literally wringing his hands. His brother, Joe, 8, is scrunched into the corner of his seat as if my withering look is a deadly ray gun that must be evaded. I am the parent from everybody’s childhood memories, the one who was angry with you for being little. I am also the clown parent in a family circus, and I am juggling juice boxes and a broken flip-flop, and the falling balls of my own sanity. Impatience is fizzing up in me. We are never going to get there. We are never going to get anywhere. We are just going to stop and use the bathroom, over and over, like we are in an existential French play about a road trip in hell.

I can not believe we are going to get off the highway again. The rest of the family sighs and they say, “He just needs to use the bathroom and yes should have probably gone before but whatever.” He needs to go now. It is as simple as that or almost because it is a weirdly hard principle to learn. People are different from you, and the more gracefully you can deal with the fact, the better. That is harmony, in a nutshell.

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