logicalframework:
pdxstitch:
bethylated-spirits:
polyamorousmisanthrope:
/wince/
I don’t mean to be unkind, but that whole “hide the stash” thing kinda bugs me. If I genuinely had a self-control problem with buying yarn, it was hurting my family budget or I was exhibiting hoarding tendencies, yeah my family would confront me about it, and they’d be right to do so.
I think the whole /giggle/giggle/ “I have no control in yarn stores” nonsense is mostly promoted by people who sell yarn!
Do I spend a fair amount of money on knitting? I do. But I know to the penny how much it is, and it comes right out of the money I specifically budgeted for my hobby. I have no need to hide it or pretend I have a different amount of yarn than I do.
No more do i argue with my husband when he spends his discretionary money on his artwork. Again, if he were irresponsible about it, we’d have a discussion, but I note that his colleagues in the graphic art field do not seem to fetishize or hoard materials or make a joke out of it like knitters do.
Yarn and fabric and crafting supplies, the accouterments of traditionally female hobbies, take up space. And we are endlessly taught to apologize for taking up space. Our hobbies take time. And we are endlessly taught that our time is meant to be devoted to our families, not ourselves.
So when we giggle about spending money in yarn stores or make jokes about hiding the latest addition to the fabric stash from the husband it’s because we are deeply uncomfortable about taking up space for ourselves.
Perhaps this also explains the overwhelming number of “storage solutions” for the accoutrements of feminine hobbies and interests. There are so many shelves, boxes, bags, carrying cases, carts, cabinets, totes, etc etc for yarn, fabric, thread, scrapbooking stuff, even makeup and jewelry. And endless blog posts on how to hide that stash, fold that fabric so it takes up the least space (slim those fat quarters, fast!), stow away those projects when company comes over. Stop taking up so much space with your personal fulfilment!
I don’t see this with more “masculine” hobbies. My husband collects vinyl records (also tapes & CDs & musical instruments), which is a mostly male hobby. His collection is on proud display in bookcases in the living room. He doesn’t feel any need to put his records away when other people come over, except to the extent that he doesn’t want people sitting on them and ruining them. In fact, he often brings out more of them to show to people and enthuse about. When I asked him if any of his fellow collectors talked about how to stash their collections, he was at first very confused (he thought ‘hide your stash’ had something to do with a ‘mustache’). Then he said that it’s not a big topic of discussion, and when it is, the focus is on preservation — preventing shelf-wear, UV fading, and other damage (which sometimes entails keeping them out of sight, but the motivation is to keep the collection in good condition, not to keep it hidden)**.
We live in a 650 sq. foot apartment, so where we keep our hobby accessories is more about necessity than preference, but we hypothetically discussed where we would keep our stuff if we had an appropriately sized house. He said he would keep his records & his record player in the living room because “Why would I go to a tiny room by myself to listen to records?” On the other hand, I would feel super weird about having sewing projects in a public part of the house. I’ve even admired those “she sheds,” though now it is striking me as ridiculous that women have to leave their house and sit in a shed to make space for themselves at home.
**Yes, I have seen preventing fading from sunlight as justification for stowing away fabrics & threads, but it’s not commonly brought up.
While I don’t necessarily disagree with the point about stash-related jokes and discomfort, I think the specific example of vinyl records isn’t quite the same – records are finished objects, while my collection of fabric, thread, yarn, and papers are materials. Most people I know have no issue displaying finished quilts or scrapbooks in public spaces, but the creative process itself is often dirty, messy, and not exactly living room pretty. I certainly love my crafting room in large part because I don’t have to pick up my things – everything can remain exactly where I left it for months on end, until I have time to continue that project.
Compare with the very masculine hobby of woodworking: I don’t know anyone who doesn’t hide away their woodworking or metalworking tools in a separate area, where they can make as big a mess as they need to, just like my sewing room. Or for another male-associated hobby, legos: I have many, many built lego models all around my living room, but the blocks themselves are stored in boxes and chests, exactly like my scrapbooking materials (and you can find plenty of heated online discussions of how best to sort and store your lego collection). I suspect the primary distinction between ‘displayable’ hobbies and ‘hidden’ hobbies isn’t strictly masculine versus feminine, but whether you are messily creating a thing, or just using something that’s already been created.