I'm 21 and I live at home with my parents. I'm the oldest daughter of my parents. This week I checked the mail because my dad was out of town and found a letter from Credit One Bank with a credit card statement that shows money spent in Las Vegas (he has a gambling problem). The statement shows he went over the credit limit that was not he account he opened and that he must not have paid it off fully because there's an interest charge on it. After confronting him about it I have found that this is not the only one he has opened. While I consider myself good with my money, I have had terrible financial role models and do not know what I should do.
I don't know how this has affected my credit score and how this will affect my future student loans since I am transferring from a community college to a state school next year. I don't know how to find out if there are any other accounts hidden from me, what I should do to make sure I am not wrongly charged or penalized for any of this, and how to protect myself from him doing this to me in the future.
A side note, he has fraudulently opened a Wells Fargo account in my name in the past which has prevented me from opening an account with them until I am 26. My dad, whom I hate so much right now, but still love since he is my father, is beyond fucked up. I don't care about that. I just want to know what I can do to fix this and keep myself secure. Any advice is appreciated!
Edit: After being suggested to go to annualcreditreport.com, I have found that he has made many auto loan inquiries and that I apparently have a collections agency on me for an unpaid balance.
Edit2: Many of you might be wondering why I am trying to avoid filing a police report and having my dad go to jail. My mom is unable to live on her own, financially and otherwise. She can barely speak english and only graduated high school in her home country so she CANNOT live on her own. They just had a 4th child (despite their financial situation) and that would leave them virtually homeless. I am not willing to let his actions jeopardize my future, but I also have my mother and baby brother to consider.
Edit3: Thank you all for your input. I am very seriously taking into consideration every comment that is posted here. For a little more background, my dad is a very bad person beyond towards just me. He has cheated on my mother multiple times, expected me and my mom to start paying off the bills, has a history of gambling addiction, and much more. On the most recent statement for an account he opened, it seems he went to Las Vegas which is not surprising. Unfortunately, this is very mild to what he's done. He has a HUGE history of manipulation, so this is not the first tarnish on his reputation. Despite my earlier stating of my love for him as a father, I genuinely do understand how despicable of a person he is. However, I encourage people who post to truly understand how difficult this choice is going to be. My younger brother is working in another state and has his own bills to worry about. My younger sister is going to be graduating high school next year and my youngest brother will be starting first grade next year. As I have stated, the complexity lies within my mom and my youngest brother. Before I can file a police report, I need to know what I can do for them to the best of my ability such that they are able to have shelter, food, and other basic necessities. My mom currently works full time in a retail store (despite her limited english) on minimum wage. There is no way she can support herself and my brother. I am trying to think of a plan for them before I move on, but it looks like I most likely will file a police report. Whether I confront my father on this is another area of concern. I expect he will beg or get very angry. Either way, this is not an easy situation for me.
Edit4: More background. He has done this same thing to my mother before. Her credit is pretty much ruined. Unfortunately, she still loves him for the "sake of family" and believes he will change. I know better, but if he goes to jail as some have suggested, she will hate me. Though I can live with that, her and my brother's safety are my concerns. I work part-time and am a full-time student, who will most likely be out of the house next year unless I decide to stay at home to save on loans.
Edit5: If some of you have any advice you would rather not want seen (in fear of being down-voted) feel free to PM me. Any input will be greatly appreciated regardless of which side of the argument its on as well as other advice or tips.
Edit6: Other instances of his ability: we currently do not have phone service because he was late on his own cellular bills and eventually shut us off. Everyone, including himself, has been without cell phone service for a while. Recently, he said he was switching us to Verizon, though I am unsure if that is true and how he is paying for it. He has a job (used to make ~100k/year) but he usually switches around (MBA). I don't know how we are in this position with his past earning but he has a history of returning unpaid cars and we used to have a house which got foreclosed. He now has a history of buying unsafe used cars and telling me not to worry about it. Example, our Prius had warnings for several days saying the braking pads needed to be replaced and his response was to tell me to "drive safely" and finally replaced them weeks later. My point is not to further show his problems, but show how screwed we are (assuming I stay at home) or they are (if I leave next year) because he was basically in charge of everything. We simply don't know how to live on our own because he took care of everything. I would be fine on my own if I moved out when I transfer out of community college, but they (mom/brother) REALLY would not make it.
Edit7: For clarification, my mother knows what he did and made sure to emphasize to not get him in trouble. To put this into context, she refuses to divorce him despite everything he's done to her including the multiple cheating and gambling. My father told us he's making me and my mom pay for electricity, gas, food, and pretty much everything except rent, which he said he will take care of, despite our combined income being a fraction of what he makes. I told him I will not pay for anything other than my own gas, which still adds up because I work on the weekends only and have to drive my siblings to school and my mom to work. My mother, is willing to pay for it for the sake of the family and because she really has no other choice since she will not leave him.
Edit8: I have been getting some questions about whether I live in the US or not for financial aid purposes. I live in California if that helps.
Edit9: Thank you everyone for your input. Almost everyone who has posted has added something that strengthen an argument or introduced a new point of view. Please know that I am looking at every individual comment posted even if I don't have the time to reply. I really appreciate all the support and advice. I was not expecting to get so much perspective. Right now I am heavily leaning towards reporting him. However, this is a lot easier said than done. First thing I plan on doing is freezing my credit accounts and requesting fraud alerts so I will know of any new account activity. Unfortunately, my sister is the only one who has gotten her cell-phone reactivated with our new carrier so I must wait until I pick her up from school to call them. Then, I have to find out where my mother, who would be completely against this given her refusal to leave my father, stands on the issue (which is pretty clear from what I just said). This complicates things even more because she might refuse the idea of outside assistance or guilt trip me into ruining my brother's life/breaking apart the family. However, if she ends up supportive of it, then the real question becomes how do we go about supporting ourselves. Many have suggested TANF and government assistance. Again, financially this is all very new to me and will require a lot of planning. I plan on then reporting my father and threaten him with pressing charges if he does not clean up his act and pay off the rest of the debts. He has been down this road so many times and lied to us just as much, with my mother being the bond that prevents us from leaving him. I doubt he will change, he will most likely beg, plead that he is sorry, and that he will change. Unfortunately, family is deeply ingrained in our culture so I will try to go with him to some of the gambling addiction groups suggested by many of you. If he fails to do that, I will cut him off completely. If many of you have financial advice for me as a college student about to transfer out and maybe support my mother and brother, I would really appreciate it. This post is getting very big so feel free to PM me.
Edit10: How will this affect me with regards to student loans? And if needed, would it be wise to sacrifice greater student loans to afford housing for myself, my mother, and my brother as opposed to just saving money by sharing an apartment room? Also, please don't hesitate to add more advice on the credit reporting aspect as I am still learning.
submitted by /u/financethrowaway888 to /r/personalfinance
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