Today we decided to take sir Oliver for a walk in a nature reserve on the outskirts of our city. There are lots of trees, big lawns and canals and more people than we had imagined, on an almost summers’ day in October. People were camping and bbqing and making this day into a nice closure of summer while already having entered autumn.
The idea or the picture of taking sir Oliver into the woods or a nature reserve was one of my favorites. As soon as we decided that we would take him for a car ride and go to a place he not yet knows, I was excited as well as hesitant. I mean, was I pursuing a picture or a desire or simply enjoying a nice autumn day? I had to walk it, to find out, what this was really about.
Sir Oliver had not been in a car since 5 weeks, since we brought him home. His other adventures in cars were all about dislocation and getting new homes. Would he love or be fine with taking a ride in the car? The only thing we could do was trying it out and so we did.
The last 3 walks sir Oliver had been such a good boy, or maybe better, we both had been good. Since I no longer made a fight out of starting our walk counterclockwise or clockwise. Him being good on walks was as well a reason for us to try walking at a strange/new place and to see if he likes it.
When we left the house sir Oliver was ready to go clockwise, and when my daughter corrected him he was ready to go straight on. He seemed to get a bit confused as if he had no clue what she wanted from him. The door of the back seat of the car was already open and I lifted him inside the car. He was still wobbling his tail, then when we drove away he got a bit worried and started to wheeze a bit. We tried to put him at ease and since it is a short car drive, all was doable.
Once we got out off the car he immediately started tracking some trails and sir Oliver was super excited. He was like a kid in a sweetshop, he didn’t know what to do first and where to go first. It was really enjoyable to see him enjoying himself so much. And it is true that when the ones that are close to us are having a great time, it does reflect on us. I did feel happy for giving him the time of his life while walking through the autumn leaves.
However I did understand that this happiness of my was a direct reaction to a fear of mine about sir Oliver never being able to fully enjoy himself due to his past. So in a way the happiness was a relieve of a fear not coming true, even though the fear was fabricated within my mind and not made through logic reasoning. And even though the fear was present I’m not saying that a part of me really enjoyed myself. It’s more that multiple dimensions can take place at once, which makes it hard to tell what is what.
So yes, I am now happy and reassured, seeing that sir Oliver fully enjoys being outdoors. On this walk we met with a couple that have a 11 year old Beagle called Spring. We talked for a brief moment, the dogs sniffed each others nose and butt, and the lady said just before our roads separated us: He looks so happy. I was like a proud granny and it confirmed my own findings.
The picture of going into the woods with sir Oliver was indeed a desire and once walked in real time I was able to ground myself and be here. It was no longer about pictures and desires it was about enjoyment with an undercurrent of fear, that I now can put in perspective and take with me to correct whenever I again observe it within myself.
The way back in the car was far more relaxed then before, sir Oliver was able to sit and lay down and there was no wheezing. We decided to do this more often on nice Sunday afternoons.
