“One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood.” – Agatha Christie
Childhood is a special time in one’s life. A time of discovery, play, wonder, and amusement at the world as the child gets the know the world around them. For the parents, this time can bring about a sense of worry, as they seek to ensure the child’s health and happiness.
Of course, life happens – to both the child and the parents – which can affect one’s childhood years. Regardless of circumstance, the child’s happiness almost always comes first to those who love them.
Here, we combine scientific research and childhood happiness. More specifically, we’re going to look at 10 scientifically proven tips to help ensure a happy and healthy childhood.
Whether you’re a parent, want-to-be parent, or someone who just loves kids, we hope that what you read below will provide some great insight into making for a healthier and happier child.
Here are 10 (scientifically proven!) tips to make the little one happier:
1. Give Them Plenty of Play Time
The primary responsibility of a kid is – or at least, should be – to play. Yes, the kid will eventually have homework, extracurricular stuff, and so on; but from toddler to adolescence, they should be given the freedom just to have fun.
Peter Gray, a child psychologist and professor at Boston College, states “Children learn the most important lessons in life from other children, not from adults…they cannot learn, or are much are much less likely to learn, in interactions with adults.”
So, tell them to “go outside and play!”
2. Take Argument and Heavy Discussions Elsewhere
Kid’s brains develop at an extraordinary rate during early childhood. When they see and hear about adult-like problems, and uncertainties, the child’s delicate psychological state can be negatively affected; potentially making them worried and insecure.
Children should not hear stressful conversations from adults – it is most definitely not the time.
3. Don’t Compare Them To Others
The pressure to succeed in today’s society can make it enticing to instill an early sense of competitiveness – and some adults do so by comparing them to someone else. Sometimes, adults will also point out desirable personality traits in another child, hoping to duplicate them in the other.
Researchers say that such comparative tendencies can adversely affect a child’s confidence and sense of self.
4. Teach The Benefits Of Negative Emotions
Pointing out the obvious – a child is not very mature. Almost every kid will have spontaneous outbursts of anger, envy, sadness, etc. This behavior presents a good learning opportunity for the adult.
Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington cites the popular tendency of adults to address a child’s perceived “misbehavior” – their negative emotions – by doling out some punishment. A better way is to acknowledge the behavior by teaching the child that everyone experiences negative emotions, and finding ways to teaching the child how to deal with their emotions constructively.
5. Acknowledge Their Efforts
The child is going to reach the age when he or she knows that hard work is needed to get ahead. It is important, then, to recognize when the child pushes themselves to accomplish something.
Talking about cognitive tasks during childhood, Dr. Carol S. Dweck at Stanford says: “Our message to parents is to focus on the process the child engages in, such as trying hard or focusing on the task – what specific things they’re doing rather than ‘you’re so smart, you’re so good at this…what (the adult) does early matters.”
6. Value Family Traditions
Having a variety of things that a family does together is a good sign of a stable household; with stability being an important aspect of childhood development.
According to the Child Development Institute, having regular family time induces five main benefits: the child feels important and loved; the child observes positive adult traits; adults can observe and learn more about their child’s weaknesses to guide them better; the child can verbalize their thoughts and feelings, and the parent and child develop a stronger bond.
7. Let Them Take Chances
Children require a certain amount of supervision; yet, adults can overdo it by monitoring their every move. This “overparenting,” however, is counterproductive to development.
Researchers, in an article published in the Journal of Psychologists and Counsellors in Schools, write: “Does an extreme attentiveness to a child and their imagined needs and issues, encourage parents to reduce their demands on their child, resulting in the child rarely facing adverse situations, learning to cope, and acquiring resilience, maturity , and other essential life skills? The current study raises the disturbing possibility that the answer is yes.”
8. Give Them A Sense of (Individual) Responsibility
Expanding on the last point, it is important to allow children to complete responsibilities (e.g. chores, homework) without micromanaging them.
Why? According to child psychologists, an excessive amount of oversight can manifest into the child developing an “I can’t do this alone” attitude. While some attention – and even, discipline – is necessary for a child to recognize the consequences of abdicating responsibility, inordinate supervision is ineffectual.
9. Create Happy Memories
In a multi-experiment study undertaken by two Harvard professors, adults who recalled good childhood memories “(seemed) to summon a heightened sense of moral purity.”
Related article: Stanford Dean Reveals The Single Parenting Trait That Ruins Child Development
Researchers note the participants “were more likely to help the experimenters with an extra task, judge unethical behavior harshly and donate money to charity when they had actively remembered their childhood.”
So, in creating happy memories for the child, you may be preparing them to be happy and benevolent adults.
10. Be Happy Yourself!
Children learn by what they see and hear, for better or worse. If an adult exhibits positive behavior, the child is more likely to reciprocate. According to Carolyn Cowan, a psychologist at the University of California: “children do not fare well if the adults aren’t taking care of themselves and their relationships.”
References:
Discovery Health. (2004, October 21). Retrieved February 27, 2017, from http://health.howstuffworks.com/pregnancy-and-parenting/happy-parents-make-happy-kids.htm
Donald, B. (2013, February 12). Babies whose efforts are praised become more motivated kids, say Stanford researchers. Retrieved February 27, 2017, from http://news.stanford.edu/news/2013/february/talking-to-baby-021213.html
Fernandez, G., M.D. (2012, January 4). Importance of Family Time on Kids Mental Health and Adjustment to Life -. Retrieved February 27, 2017, from https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/psychology/importance-of-family-time-on-kids-mental-health-and-adjustment-to-life/
Gray, P., Ph.D. (2016, October 31). The Culture of Childhood: We’ve Almost Destroyed It. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201610/the-culture-childhood-we-ve-almost-destroyed-it
Gross, J. (2012, July 18). Childhood Memories Serve as a Moral Compass. Retrieved February 27, 2017, from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/childhood-memories-serve-as-a-moral/
Locke, J. Y., Campbell, M. A., & Kavanagh, D. (2012). Can a Parent Do Too Much for Their Child? An Examination By Parenting Professionals of the Concept of Overparenting. Australian Journal of Guidance and Counselling, 22(02), 249-265. doi:10.1017/jgc.2012.29
The Gottman Institute. (2017). Parenting. (2017). Retrieved February 27, 2017, from https://www.gottman.com/about/research/parenting/
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