Editor's note: Oladapo Afolabi, the NAIJ.com partner blogger, shares his views on how people can boost their self-esteem.
Afolabi, popularly referred to as Daps, is a human resource capitalist, entrepreneur, travel consultant and a passionate writer and the owner of the blog Dapsdiary.
More details in NAIJ.com’s step-by-step guide for guest bloggers.
“The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it.”– Jerry Gillies.
One critical part of personal development is self-esteem. It is impossible to feel good about yourself, lead people, and above all optimize your life with low self-esteem. As a matter of fact one important trait of a good leader is good self-esteem.
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Self-esteem refers to how you think and feel about yourself. These are thoughts and feelings a person may have, may it be positive, negative, or mixed — about one’s self. The more positive these thoughts and feelings are, the higher your self-esteem will be and conversely the more negative these thoughts and feelings are, the lower your self-esteem will become.
A man being depressed by low self-esteem
Feeling good about yourself is important as it gives you a sense of control over your life. It can also help make a person feel satisfied in a relationship. With a positive self-identity, a person is able to set realistic expectations for oneself and pursue goals.
Having a negative self-perception, on the other hand, results in a distorted view of one’s self, which leads to further lack of self-confidence, poor performance, and depression.
In recent times, low self-esteem has been one of the most popular and frequently invoked psychological explanations for behavioral and social problems.
Taking their cue from social commentators and media opinion leaders, people have been willing to accept that a limited sense of self-worth lies behind just about every social and personal ill from drug abuse and delinquency to poverty and business failures. The result has been a huge market for self-help manuals and educational programs.
People who have a low self-esteem rely heavily on their day-to-day performances. The positive external experience and encouragements help them to battle the negative feelings that they have about themselves.
These negative feelings very often trouble the people with low self-esteem. In some situations, feelings of inadequacy torture those who do not have enough confidence about themselves and about what they can do.
There are many known ways to improve one’s self-esteem. To boost one’s confidence, it may be helpful to practice the following self-improvement techniques and strategies:
1. Refuting the inner critic that keeps on sending self-defeating messages;
2. Practising the art of self-nurturing
3. Getting much-needed help and support from people who are close to you.
The first and the most important step to increase self-esteem is to tell the inner voice to shut up. The inner voice might say negatively about you. In such a situation you must praise yourself.
Whenever I get here all I ask myself is this: What do you believe? The inner voice? Rebutting the inner voice that keeps on criticizing you should be done on a regular basis – what you truly believe about yourself will help you overcome this. However this step is not enough to develop self-esteem.
The second step that one must initiate on a way to a healthy self-esteem is that a person should nurture himself. The most important part of this step is start treating yourself as a person who is worthwhile.
Feeling good about yourself starts with you – you must be able to handle your believe system, keep your focus on yourself to make yourself feel good about yourself. Then seek out people who make you feel good. Remember that you get to choose your friends so why not choose people who think you’re great?
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Moreover, both individual and group counseling can help improve self-esteem. Such therapy might include assertiveness training, communication skills, and learning to recognize and understand own emotional responses in relation to others.
Therapy may also explore early and later experiences that contributed to your low self-esteem. Group therapy is particularly effective that it helps to foster trust and build relationships, and encourages a sense of belonging-components that are important for building self-esteem. It is sad we do not have much of therapist in Nigeria and Africa, so I recommend ready self-help books.
I recommend this eBook called: “Level Up Your Life” – it is for a penny. Check the eBook here
Low and poor self-esteem is often the result of bad or a wrong treatment that was experienced in the past. Hence you must start regarding yourself as a worthy person. You must be able to challenge negative experiences in the past and you should start loving yourself.
Try to change yourself and show to the outside world that you are valuable, competent, and a lovable person. Learn to develop high self-esteem and believe you can do it, you deserve it, and you will get it.
Here it the trick, the more your self-esteem, the farther your chances in life to achieve everything you hope to achieve. Most people are always a self-esteem boost away from actuating everything they set their heart to do. Believe you can – and you will be surprised at the results you get.
Finally, I also recommend you watch a video on my VLOG I did on how to make stress and anxiety a companion and also how to handle fear and anxiety. This video will be of immense help. If you find this article helpful, do not forget to use the share icon.
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Dapsdiary is a nation building outfit geared at echoing entrepreneurial revolution, personal development, national values, and giving right perspective, contemporary meaning and futuristic implications to socio-political issues.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent the editorial policy of NAIJ.com.
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