It’s likely that you and I don’t agree on everything.
Theoretically, we know that. Theoretically, we still love one another, you know, because we’re one family under God. Theoretically, we, in the church, form a beautiful tapestry, our differences of opinion devising the colors and textures that give depth to the work of the kingdom. Theoretically, we’re generous, inclusive, and kind even when we disagree.
Face-to-face, though, or in conversation, when we stumble onto one of these IED’s (isolated entities of disagreement), they detonate. We reel from the flash, dodging shrapnel as we try to recover a sense of equilibrium and find solid footing on which to continue our love relationship. It ain’t easy.
It’s ain’t easy because these places where we disagree aren’t just theories. They are the fabric that make the decisions that create our daily lives. They aren’t just theological places of contention between Christians – they determine whom we’ll choose to marry – or not, how we’ll use our gifts, how we’ll treat the most vulnerable among us, and where we will worship.
It’s easy to forget on how often we do agree. To enter the church, we all admitted we are sinners and cannot save ourselves. That because of our sinful state, we are worthy of eternal separation from God. That God, in His great love, put into process a plan for our redemption and sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross in our place. That Jesus, in obedience to the Father, lived a sinless life on earth, died a cruel death on that cross, and rose 
again, victorious over sin and death. That each of us, if we believe He died for us, enter into a saving relationship with Him and receive, by grace, forgiveness, and eternal life. That we know all this through His Word. That our call now is to know Him, worship Him, obey His Word, and further His Kingdom on earth until we die or He returns, whichever comes first. That is the wide and sturdy platform on which we meet.
But, there are things. Issues. Potholes. Places of contention where we haven’t understood what He’s commanded in the same way. These things aren’t esoteric and distant such as how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. These things are tangible and deeply, heart-achingly personal. Is it all right for my brother to marry another man? Can my aunt become our pastor? Does my teen-age daughter have to carry her baby to full term? Is there a Christian way to vote in November?
Even if we agree on the basic right or wrong of these issues, there are more disagreements about how we live them out. If my brother knows I oppose gay marriage, is it all right for me to show him I love him by attending his wedding? If I believe God has put an order in place that excludes women from being teaching pastors, is it wrong for me to meet with the local woman pastor to pray and study together? Do we celebrate the teen-age daughter with a baby shower? If I strongly oppose your politics, can we still have peaceful fellowship or should I just find another church? By staying, am I quietly condoning your views?
There are more sticking points – how do we treat Mary? When is Jesus returning? Is Jesus returning? Is the earth getting warmer? How old is the world? Is it always wrong to have sex outside of marriage? What does love look like when we disagree?
It’s not easy but we don’t need easy. We’re the church. We do hard things. We follow Jesus Christ who did hard things. Our Father is the Creator of the universe who is capable of all things. We have the Holy Spirit who empowers us with the spiritual resources to love, live, learn, and obey supernaturally. All things are possible with God, even that His disagreeing church can work its way to inhabit the unity He’s given us.
Here’s some things I believe about these places of disagreement:
I do the best I can to study the Bible and godly teaching, to pray, and to seek God’s guidance in determining what I believe. I form opinions I believe are correct (if I didn’t think they were, I would change them) BUT
I don’t believe I’m going to get to Heaven and hear God tell me, “Lori, you got every issue perfectly correct! You go sit over with the other correct people while I straighten out the rest.” I believe we’re called to conduct ourselves, always, with love and humility – not wishy-washy uncertainty (which is different) but with humility.
I don’t apologize for what I believe because I believe it’s biblical, meaning it’s God’s idea, not mine. I pray for the strength not to compromise when what I believe God says is hard to live but biblical truth nonetheless.
If we disagree but you’ve come to your conclusions out of love for God, for His Word, and for others and you support your stand biblically, I respect you and believe we can still work together toward unity BUT
If you’ve reached your belief by dismissing the Bible as outdated and irrelevant or out of anger/rebellion, or because you just want what you want, you and I may have harder conversations, still in love, still with humility, but harder still.
I will listen to you because that’s loving. I will hear you out without calling you names or putting you in a box or questioning your salvation (because that’s not my job.) I hope you’ll do the same. I pray for strength to stay loving, gracious, and kind even if you don’t. We may still disagree when we’re through BUT
God commands me to love, to live at peace as much as it depends on me, and to offer correction with gentleness and humility as I speak His truth. This informs my attitude and actions toward even people yelling at me on Facebook. I’m intentional about spending time studying the entire Bible, not just the places of contention, and I find there a constant call to lay down my life for others (not God’s truth, but my life.)
I remember we have an enemy who is at work trying to exacerbate our strife and I am more opposed to him than I am to you.
James 1:19-27 calls me back from the screaming brink whenever I lose my cool with another Christian over our differences.
I have more thoughts but I’m interested to hear from you. This is tough stuff. We’re not going to weather this next storm of disagreement with a campfire and a few choruses of Kum Bah Yah. Creating peace is serious work for serious Christians.
What Scriptures or practices guide you when interacting with Christians who disagree on contentious issues? What have you found helps the process of maintaining unity amidst difference? What habits keep you from compromising biblical truth? What do you do to cultivate love for differing believers and to demonstrate that love to them?
Never more have we needed this conversation, so let’s begin it here.
When Christians Disagree https://t.co/Hb9ucRs6s0 guidelines for forging peace in the church #evangelicals#amwriting#unityinChrist
— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) July 26, 2016
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