Grief is a peculiar feeling, unlike anything else in the world. It can take years for you to even confront it, and decades to finally accept it. But you may never be able to completely get over it.
Why? Because it never leaves. Its always there — in your conscious or your subconscious. Reminding you of the loss that you had no choice in. Reminding you how your life took a sharp turn and you couldn’t do anything about it.
More than anything, grief engulfs you in this feeling of helplessness — What if things would have turned out differently had you made a different decision?
Getting closure when someone dies is an uphill battle because there is no closure. There is only acceptance. You can either choose to accept the painful or keep it buried in you for decades — only to have it resurface, every month of every year.
They say, funerals are to pay homage to the dead and for the living to get closure. But aren’t we essentially forcing the living to get a closure as soon as possible through possible, when some of them might not even be ready?
I find funerals too definite and too soon. Funerals force you to accept the fact that you have indeed lost people close to you and there is nothing you can do about it.
You should be able to find closure at your own pace and in your own time. Nobody should be forced to face the cruel facts of life, if they don’t want to. Does that sound like an ostrich sticking its head in the sand? May be. But just for a while, if it helps you function and stay sane. Take your head out when you are ready to face the world and breath a little.
To all the people I have lost and to all the funerals I didn’t attend — I am trying to take my head out of the sand, slowly and steadily.
Parts of me were made by you and planets keep their distance too — But you’re gonna live forever in me.
PS -- Weekly posting schedule
I will be publishing new posts every Wednesday from now on.
Why Wednesdays? Because I find Wednesdays the least threatening day of the week. Don't ask me why, it's a long story.
You can follow my Twitter or the blog's Facebook page to get notifications about new posts.
Till next Wednesday