as i soaked in the bath tonight, something changed.
i looked over my body and felt a wave of grace; an overwhelming sense of compassion and appreciation and empathy for this body and all that it has endured and walked through in a year.
instead of my eyes seeing faults and imperfections; instead of staying in a place of disappointment at how far i haven’t yet come or how my body isn’t where i want it to be …
i felt almost like a friend to me, seeing me …
realizing – in the past year, this body has nursed a toddler, undergone surgeries, endured heavy chemo, more surgery, radiation.
and i am here, and i am well, and i feel nothing but overwhelming grace
as if i was seeing a friend that i loved so deeply, i saw me
my body
and the tightness lifted
the pressure felt like it floated away
and i knew:
it’s ok.
this path of healing has zig zags and dips and bends
and like a fighter after a bloody victorious battle,
i carry wounds. and those don’t heal overnight.
but i am healing.
and tonight
i felt like i gave myself the warmest gentlest hug.
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