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We miss the big opportunities in our day to day lives because we’ve been conditioned to have a super narrow focus on how meeting potential dates is “supposed” to be done. You might want to ask the question; who made all the rules? What if you could meet your significant other while grabbing a coffee or going for a walk? This requires being open to meeting people, anywhere, and the courage to seize an opportunity when it arises.
The main thing that is going to get any man over a slump is making more invitations to potential dates. If you’re not asking anyone out then how can anyone know what they’re missing? Wouldn’t your dating options expand if you could talk to anyone, anywhere? The trick will be on how to develop the courage to do so.
More Courage = More Invitations Made = More Dating Success
So here’s how to tackle your nerves and grease your social wheels.
How to develop the social courage?
Walking up to a complete stranger and introducing yourself is going to be nerve-racking for any man who’s never done it before, and even men with experience, but the rewards can be huge. Not only could you meet your next mate, increase your confidence, and social savvy, but it will actually make you happier.
From Scientific American:
“Consider the times you’ve hopped on a subway, boarded a plane or entered a waiting room. Chances are, you probably avoided engaging with any fellow commuters or patients. But contrary to what we might think, we’d be happier if we did strike up a conversation with a total stranger.
In a study, commuters in Chicago were asked to either talk with a stranger on a train, or sit quietly alone, or just do whatever they’d normally do on their commute. Then they responded to a survey about how they felt.
Turns out those who engaged with strangers had the most pleasurable experience and those who remained solitary had the least enjoyable experience.”
The benefits are far-reaching, and it’s a romantic story that you could be telling your future children. It’s also something that could be uncomfortable at first.
To develop your social courage, start with these baby steps:
1. Become social everywhere. Instead of being on a mission to get back home every time you’re out, start socializing with anyone you come into contact with. Anytime you buy something, start a real conversation with the till worker by taking interest in how her day has been. The chat may only be 30 seconds, but genuine interest and a smile can go a long way.
2. Don’t just walk by people, say “hi.” Instead of staying in your own bubble when you’re walking in your neighborhood, say “hi” to the people who pass by. This will get you used to chatting with strangers that you don’t have to interact with directly.
3. Eye contact. Don’t walk around looking at the ground. Make eye contact with people. Most won’t return it, but for those who do, you’ll probably get a smile, and it gets you in the habit of making eye contact instead of avoiding it, and that goes a long way for confidence.
This will get you started. Stay tuned for Part II of How To Get Out Of The Dating Slump.
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Article originally appeared at Plenty of Fish. Reprinted with permission.
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The post How to Get Out of the Dating Slump: Part I appeared first on The Good Men Project.