“Be yourself” may possibly be one of the most used phrases of advice in modern history. I remember when my adoptive mother lovingly spoke those same words of encouragement to me. Be yourself shows up in literature, poems, and popular song lyrics. I do believe it is the first step in accepting ones passions, dreams, strengths, and shortcomings. I do not believe, however, that “being oneself” must be the opposite of “being someone else.”
To be oneself is to be in one’s normal physical condition or state of mind. Stepping outside oneself, on the other hand, is moving in a positive direction beyond the borders of ones current condition. It is the pinnacle of Maslow’s hierarchical pyramid. Being oneself offers peace and comfort. Whether we realize it or not, It is what most of us do. Stepping beyond oneself is uncomfortable. Yet, it can change the world.
As an example, I stepped outside myself by not accepting the closed records of my adoption, that I was special to have been “chosen,” and that I should not yield to my burning curiosity of knowing my birth origins. Instead, I vowed that my first solo journey by car would be to the Indianapolis courthouse over a hundred miles away. I stepped outside myself when I captured the attention of the beautiful Guatemalan girl that I saw on the first day I arrived in California. I later married her. Carmen continues to be my soul mate and best friend. I stepped outside myself when I went against the advice of attorneys when I established the Why Mom Deserves a Diamond contest and published a twenty-year archive of winning essays.
Towards the end of the twentieth century, the expression, “think outside the box” became popular. It became the catchy verbal solution of a nine-dot problem that appeared in Sam Loyd’s 1914 Cyclopedia of Puzzles. The problem was to connect all the dots by drawing four straight lines without lifting the pen from the paper. The expression inspired many to understand that one must sometimes look beyond perceived boundaries. Stepping outside oneself is the courageous leap we must take if we want to see change.
It is alright to find comfort in being yourself. Yet, when one takes even a single step beyond themselves, the ripple effect can change the universe.
Sam Loyd, Cyclopedia of Puzzles. (The Lamb Publishing Company, 1914)
Filed under: Inspiration 
