Have you noticed, lately, how many people are complaining of poor sleep? Is this a recent epidemic or is it simply us responding to too much stimuli, too much worry, too much to do? It isn’t just adults who need more sleep, our children do as well.
I’m not offering any great scientific break through here, none of us can function without proper rest. That includes kids, at every age. They cannot stay up late and be successful in school. They cannot be at school, then soccer practice, then doing homework and fall into bed only when they’ve filled every waking hour until they are beyond exhausted. I teach high school students and most of them are up well beyond the midnight hour working, practicing, studying. They fall into bed sometimes around 1:00 in the morning, if they are lucky, and the alarm rings by 6:00. Every. Single Day. Then they arrive in class disorganized, unfocused and dozing. And when I say dozing? I mean REM stage, snoring asleep! Returning after an absence they will often be honest and say, they were home catching up on sleep. Sleep lost to hours and hours of extracurriculars and homework. Ironic, right?
In addition to the busyness of life that keeps our kids up too late, there’s the issue of just not being able to sleep. I’m a life-long insomniac. As a little kid I can remember lying awake in the quiet dark house and worrying about how tired I’d be in the morning. I still struggle, and I’ve figured out which habits help me to maximize the rest I do get. I’m very rigid in my sleep hygiene and it’s one of my biggest anxieties that I will get “knocked off” my sleep game. My point is, young children can have insomnia too, and being young doesn’t mean they can afford to lose precious sleep. In fact, during sleep, their little bodies are recovering, growing and building. It’s not healthy, they won’t just bounce back day after day of inadequate sleep. And they won’t be at their best in school. They will struggle with focusing and may behave with that “loopy” tired behavior that little kids do, and maybe they don’t have ADHD after all. They will be emotionally disregulated, crying and angry over the smallest issues. They will be frustrated with everything and everyone.
I thought about looking up recommended hours of sleep for this post, but truthfully, I think every parent can use their own wisdom to figure that out for their household. If you’re unsure what your family needs, do a little research and then think about your child and you’ll know what the right answer is. But I do have some advice, as a teacher, a nurse and a very very bad sleeper.
Get rid of the phones. Don’t let your child use their cell phone as their alarm clock. Decide upon a cut-off point in the evening when everyone’s phones go on the charger (not in the bedroom.) Glowing screens and thinking about what’s happening in social media are distracting. Not to mention those unpleasant moments when someone twitters or snapchats something unkind, and we read it at 1 a.m. No sleep after that!
Television? See above. Same for computers. Decide what time is screen-free time and I find it has to be at least a half hour before I’m trying to fall asleep. If your kid falls asleep to the television and rests well, it’s your call to decide if this is an issue in your house. But if your student is using this method and still seems tired during the day; there’s your sign.
Homework needs a dedicated schedule and sooner is better than later. Once it’s done, it can be left in its appropriate place for morning. When it’s put on a back burner, it remains as a niggling thought in our minds and when it’s finally attended to, it may be rushed through so the student can finally get to bed. This may result in a kid who lays awake unable to turn off their brain from the work they did, didn’t complete and are worried about doing correctly.
Eating. It’s pretty well-known that if you give your kid a double shot espresso at bed time, things will not go well. Nor will a bag of gummie worms work as a bed time snack. For this insomniac, there needs to be no eating for three hours before bed or I experience difficulty relaxing and reflux. Nothing but water after noon for me. No caffeine or juice with sugar. And goodness, if a person is slugging sixteen ounces of water before bed; what are the chances of a happy bladder for the next eight hours? Dinner at the same time every evening and time to rest and digest before hitting the sack. Jack.
Environment of sleep. This is a biggy for me too. I have discovered I’m very photosensitive, any light will interfere with good sleep. I have to cover the light on the cable box, the alarm and turn off nightlights that I can see from my bed (even if they are not in the bedroom.) Our bedroom window is covered with a wooden plantation blind and room darkening curtains which I have to tuck in around the edges of the window at night. Think about street lights, porch lights, any source of ambient light in your student’s room. Many nights I even end up in a sleep mask. Keep your child’s room cool, allow your house to go silent at night (which means you can’t be clicking away on a keyboard or chatting on your phone when Junior is trying to sleep.) Consider white noise for your poor sleepers, but don’t use a phone app to produce it! Invest in a CD (about $10 at Target) and use an old fashioned bedside CD player (covered to reduce the glow in the room.) Think about scents which may stimulate your sleeper and minimize things like room sprays and plug-ins. I find linen sprays can sometimes be relaxing and sometimes distracting, I’m careful about what I use. Lavender seems to always be a good choice. Make the bed, even if it’s at bed time, so everything feels neat and complete. Establish a routine, bath or shower (even if you double up in the morning,) brushing teeth, prepping what is needed in the morning and settling in.
And speaking of a bedtime routine, be sure to include the winding down portion of the day. We can only face plant into bed in exhaustion so many times before we will experience what feels like a walking coma. We need to get into bed with a feeling of contentment with the day behind us, and confidence in the day to come. Laying out clothes for the morning, packing lunches, completing homework and putting it in the backpack, reviewing the days events and discussing tomorrow’s expectations gives us a sense of rest earned.
You know your child. Maybe they sleep great with their phone under their pillow, television on all night and thermostat set on 87. That’s fine. But if your kid is not getting the rest they need for the best day possible at school, some of these ideas may help. And if they do need help, give it a little time. Changes in routines won’t fix insomnia in a day or even a week. Make the changes and give them a few weeks to relax into the new way of doing things.
Finally, don’t forget the old standard, bed time prayer. Ask your child what they would like you to pray about for the day ahead. What is worrying them? Some kids, knowing they will have a substitute teacher, will have sleep-stealing anxiety. Field trips, friends, bullies, spelling words… What does your son or daughter think about while they lay awake? Assure them that you will pray, and they can rest. Pray out loud with your child at bedtime and teach them to continue talking to Jesus after your good night kiss if they have anything that they need to tell Him. Help them to believe that they can sleep, because the Lord is awake.
Father, give our children restful minds and spirits. Allow them to give their cares and worries to You with faith that You will meet their needs. Touch their bodies and give them the ability to fall asleep easily and to stay asleep throughout the night. Make their mornings bright and joyous as they awaken rested and confidant in their abilities to face the day ahead. Guard them from daytime drowsiness and sharpen their focus as they are in school. Give us wisdom, as a family, to manage our schedules and to make good choices about what activities are good for us. When we begin to feel too busy and too stressed, guide our thoughts and help us to make decisions about what to give our time and attention to…and what to let go of. You promise us rest throughout Your word and we come to you claiming that promise. We rest in You, and we ask for sweet and restoring sleep for our children. Amen.
