I’m not sure if you are like me but I like knowing answers, answers to anything and everything, like is it really easy to cut a bitch off? Answers to the questions that I’m asking and even answers to questions I’m not asking, speaking of which – you know you have that one friend that will give you a long winded answer to a question that was asked, that by the time they answer the question it’s not even the answer to the question that you asked – try saying that 3 times fast.
Any who, because I like answers there are some questions that will keep me up at night pondering the answers? You know questions, whose answers weigh heavy on my mind, such as? Does Rick Ross’ breasts smell like bacon grease and CK 1 cologne? Or is Don Lemon the real life Tom DuBois?
So because I’m a studious person that yearns for answers like The Gap Band years for your love – see what I did there? I’ll share with you a list of questions that keep me wondering, like will Meek Mill ever recover from being dissed by a Microsoft office presentation?
1. Did Beyonce finish High School?
It doesn’t matter how hard or how easy the questions is, Beyonce always has a perplexed look on her face like she’s thinking about cracking the DaVinci Code. Hell you could ask her what day it is, and she’ll hit you with the “Which way did they go? Which way did they go, George” look.
2. Why do doves cry?
I’m sorry I am as big of a Prince fan as the next person, but he never did say why doves cry?
3. Who thought it was a good idea to cast Zoe Saldana to play Nina Simone, when Lauryn Hill is more than capable, as long as you make sure you have her Haldol prescription on hand?
4. Why is IceJJFish a genius?
Seriously Michael Ealy’s special needs step brother has as much talent as a drunk gnat, but yet somehow this nigga gets million of views for his Marsha Ambrosious meets Michele off pitch singing. Either he’s fucking with us and really can sing or he’s mastered the art of zero fucks given self promotion.
5. How did Tom Brady win his appeal of his 4 game suspension?
Something, something, something, something just ain’t right, either Tom Brady has half-naked pictures of God or something, or he’s on the Judge that ruled in his favor fantasy football team.
6. Who knew RGIII would fall so far from grace, so quickly?
Just a couple of seasons ago the real life Ed from Good Burger was the toast of Washington DC, coming fresh off a Heisman winning Junior season at Baylor and it appeared that RGIII and his Mystikal braids circa 95 was going to be career pro bowl player and a sure fire hall of famer. But lo and behold the curse of the Redskins hit him, first he suffered a devastating injury in his rookie season and he lost his confidence quicker than Kylie Jenner lost her virginity to Tyga presumably while she was still in high school, which he still hasn’t recovered from, which has now lead to being benched and awaiting her inevitable shipment out of town.
7. Would anybody seriously vote for Kanye West if he runs for President in 2020?
Never underestimate a fool and his ego, having said that, who is really taking the Black Sponge Bob serious and the idea about him throwing his hat in the ring to become the President of the United States?
These are just a few questions that make me think? What are some of yours?
Talk to me, I’ll talk back.
Breazy Trebeck
