We write to the North Pole to ask if the guy who lives on an icecap is worried about climate change
Dear Santa,
You probably hear this all the time, but we’re your biggest fans. Who can resist a globetrotting philanthropist who’s good with kids? Not to mention your sweet, on-trend beard.
Since you’ve been crisscrossing the planet these past few centuries it can’t have escaped your notice there’s rather a lot more people around these days. Seven billion, and counting, two billion of which are children. We bet the elves are working double shifts, but obviously you pay Lapland living wage so that’s ok. We’re all burning a lot of energy, is the point.
Santa, use your status as a powerful global celebrity to help solve the energy crisis
Because of this we’ve decided not to ask for regular presents this year. Mum will buy us socks (these suave, socially-conscious badboys, if she’s taken the hint) and they’ll do nicely. What we’d really like won’t fit on your sleigh, can’t be gift-wrapped and definitely isn’t available on Amazon.
Use your status as a powerful global celebrity to help solve the energy crisis. World leaders must be as terrified as anyone of ending up on your naughty list, so why not put that bargaining power to good use and encourage positive, green change for the year ahead?
Here’s our wish list…
Make the Rio Olympics as eco-friendly as they promise
Everybody loves the Olympics; they celebrate the very best of mankind. However, transporting hundreds of thousands of sports fans (we don’t all have flying reindeer, dude) and building a small city’s worth of infrastructure will always consume lots of energy. Rio has already reneged on a pledge to clean up its waterways, and with the Games’ projected carbon footprint at 3.6 million tonnes it will be important to show afterwards that all steps were taken to meet green criteria, according to their own published list of objectives. Just like your list, Santa, let’s hope they check it twice.
Bring on the electric car
Next year the 200,000th family-friendly Nissan Leaf will roll out of the showroom, while Elon Musk’s Tesla is not only getting sports car performance from its latest model but steadily spreading charging stations throughout the UK. It’s going well. But more charging stations, more promotion, and more prominent people making a big deal about them is needed. Try and fit one under Zoella’s tree, that’ll do the trick.
While we’re at it, make cars driverless
Not only will driverless journeys be convenient (being able to scoff turkey sandwiches AND hog the radio: we’re in!) but studies show it could save as much as 90 percent of greenhouse gas emissions compared to conventional motoring, simply through intelligently-scheduled carpooling. It’ll probably be safer too, cutting road deaths due to human error. And more people surviving fender benders means more mince pies and sherry on the big night for you, friend.
Get the next President on-side
We know you probably don’t do politics… although reading between the lines, you wear red and believe in redistribution. Come on. But we know you love America because you based your entire look on a US ad campaign (and we’re totally onboard with that – Coca-Cola is one of Collectively’s partners, after all), and Hollywood consistently churns out biopics about you.
Help them out. As a leading producer of both Santa flicks and CO2 production, America needs to set an example through its next President. Just make sure all the little girls and boys voting think hard about who’s going to take care of the planet after polling day. The North Pole is in enough trouble as it is.
Photo: Flikr – Phil Roeder
Inspire us to cycle
We don’t need to tell you a bicycle is the ultimate present. The gift of independence, exercise, fewer road accidents, sweet wheelies and a reduced carbon footprint. Again, it just needs a higher-profile. Why not surprise us all this year by competing in the Tour de France. Besides, you could maybe stand to lose a few pounds; if not for Dasher and Dancer then at least for Mrs Claus.
Clean up our energy supply
You taught us long ago that coal is for naughty kids only. Cleaner energy is the future. Clean wind, clean solar, clean geothermal. Nuclear. Domestic and industrial. Let’s make 2016 the year leaders finally see the madness of burning fossil fuels. Sure, that means fewer chimneys and a harder job for you, but if you can sneak in via our office air-con once a year you can clearly squeeze in anywhere.
Merry Christmas.
Love, the Collectively Team x
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