Crystal Palace and Swansea put on a masterclass in defensive haplessness in a ludicrous goalfest, while Sunderland sunk to the bottom once again
5.29pm GMT
Oh alright, you can have this one too:
Related: Islam Slimani penalty rescues draw for Leicester with Middlesbrough
5.27pm GMT
Right, I’m off. Here, by way of farewell gift, is a report on Newcastle 0-1 Blackburn. Bye!
Related: Blackburn’s Charlie Mulgrew gives his side shock win at Newcastle
5.27pm GMT
Jürgen Klopp has had a word with Sky:
We expect to have to work hard. Actually I think they played more defensive than anyone could expect. Usually they have kind of one and a half strikers, today it was 0.75. Anichebe was forced to play left full-back, and they played man marking against Coutinho and all that stuff. You have to find a solution on the pitch and the boys stayed cool enough to find this one moment.
[On why he was encouraging the crowd in the second half] I never saw a football game where a team that played so defensively, where the offensive team creates a chance second after second. Of course there are moments when the guys need to take a breath. It was not that loud in the stadium in that moment but we all need to learn that games against parking-bus teams, it’s in the detail. Everybody has to do their job and my job in this moment was to remind the crowd that we needed their help. They reacted very well and helped us a lot.
5.23pm GMT
Of course the action isn’t over, and Scott Murray is all over Chelsea v Tottenham here:
Related: Chelsea v Tottenham Hotspur: Premier League – live!
5.22pm GMT
And something on Liverpool 2-0 Sunderland:
Related: Liverpool edge past Sunderland but lose Philippe Coutinho to injury
5.21pm GMT
A report from Hull 1-1 West Brom:
Related: Hull’s Michael Dawson strikes to deny West Brom third straight win
5.21pm GMT
Alan Pardew has spoken. He looked some way from chuffed:
For us, it was a game that we defended so badly at times from set plays, something we’d talked about and worked on, and I feel aggrieved about that. Particularly when we take the lead at 4-3. There’s no way we should concede those two goals, and I’ll have to look to make changes there. We scored the first goals, in total control, but the referee gifted them the free kick and they got the equaliser. Then it went into a crazy period and we let ourselves down defensively. You can’t score four goals away from home and not win. That is not right.
Four of their goals are from set plays and we have to be better than that. I’m going to have to make changes.
5.19pm GMT
Here’s Stuart’s early and brief (for now) match report from Swansea. A nightmare of a game to report on, with all the late goals and twists and turns.
Related: Swansea City stun Crystal Palace as Fernando Llorente settles thriller
5.16pm GMT
Well, an extraordinarily entertaining game, but not one for the purists.
What a game at Swansea
5.12pm GMT
Leroy Fer has been speaking about Swansea’s madcap win over Crystal Palace. To be honest there have been more exciting interviews.
It’s the most crazy game I’ve played in I think. I think we deserved it, but we made it too hard I think. They are strong in set pieces attacking, but we’re strong as well and can get our goals. That’s what we did today.
Alan Pardew before the game: “I can’t see us winning at Swansea unless we get two goals". You needed six, Al.
5.10pm GMT
The first hour of today’s Premier League games was pretty ordinary.
60 mins: 5 goals in 4 matches
90 mins: 17 goals in 4 matches
Just another Saturday in the #PL... pic.twitter.com/DeGG2rMDhs
5.07pm GMT
Potentially good news from Anfield regarding Coutinho:
Suggestion from inside Anfield is Coutinho injury isn't as bad as first feared - only scans will confirm though.
5.06pm GMT
Newcastle did indeed lose at home to Blackburn. Norwich also lost, at Derby, a fifth successive league reverse. But Aston Villa beat Cardiff, a fourth win in seven unbeaten games. They are in the top half of the table tonight.
5.04pm GMT
So Sunderland are back at the bottom of the table, and Liverpool back at the top, at least for now – a Chelsea win tonight would take top spot back.
5.02pm GMT
Our man at Swansea has had a difficult afternoon.
On my 11th rewrite at Swansea. Note to editor, copy will be late.
5.01pm GMT
A final update from Ronan Devenish, who has seen Chester score a last-minute third. “Incredible scenes! Chester, who haven’t won for 13 games are cruising and on fire! Chapell, who was booed as he came on for recent form, proves his doubters wrong and bursts away at incredible speed to latch on to a finely-threaded through-ball and finish one-on-one! The pace that earns him a place in the squad has earnt him a goal. That is the biggest Eastleigh defeat in 16 months.”
5.00pm GMT
The finish for Llorente’s winning goal at Swansea wasn’t exactly difficult but it was very coolly done, in the circumstances.
4.57pm GMT
The corner comes in, Tomkins reaches it first, the ball goes wide and the whistle goes! Unbelievable!
4.56pm GMT
Meanwhile, they’re still playing at Swansea. The crowd whistle wildly. Palace push. It’s a corner! They couldn’t, surely?
4.56pm GMT
Last-gasp equalising action from penalty-friendly Leicester.
4.55pm GMT
Honours very much even. This’ll be the last match on Match of the Day tonight.
4.54pm GMT
Liverpool huffed. Liverpool puffed. Liverpool blew Sunderland’s house down. Eventually.
4.54pm GMT
Another penalty! Slimani scores it quite stylishly, semi-pausing an instant before he kicked the ball, sending the keeper the wrong way and shooting just right of centre and in!
4.52pm GMT
Astonishing! Impossible! What a game! Sigurdsson takes a free-kick from deep, it’s tapped across goal and Llorente scores from six yards!
4.51pm GMT
Mané has his legs taken away from under him and Liverpool have a penalty to complete victory. Milner sends the keeper the wrong way and shoots just inside the left-hand post!
4.50pm GMT
Montero crosses from the left, Llorente’s header is excellently saved, the ball runs out to Sigurdsson on the edge of the area, and his low shot is turned in by Llorente!
4.48pm GMT
Newcastle are not only not beating relegation-threatened Blackburn, they are losing to them. Charlie Mulgrew’s goal, scored in the 75th minute, looks like it may be decisive.
4.46pm GMT
Liverpool are trying to secure victory with a second goal, but Can’s 20-yard daisy-cutter is deflected narrowly wide.
4.46pm GMT
Palace have two players who are particularly threatening from set pieces. To let one of them run free from a corner is disappointing, but to lose track of both of them is ludicrous, and does much to explain Swansea’s current predicament, however much they can point to bad luck over that sixth goal.
4.44pm GMT
Palace lead! Incredible scenes! It’s yet another goal from a set piece, the sixth of the day I think. A corner from the right is headed down by Dann – hopelessly unmarked – and Benteke – bizarrely also unmarked – controls with his left knee and volleys against the left-hand post and in!
4.42pm GMT
That is the rummest of luck, really it is.
4.41pm GMT
A random cross from the left hits Cork, just inside the penalty area, on the bonce and the ball loops high in the air, spins and dips in at the far post!
4.40pm GMT
And Ronan Devenish is back on the line! “GOAL! Ryan Lloyd, a substitute, plays a fantastic ball behind the Eastleigh defence, who are at sixes and sevens as they try to fall back. The pace of Richards forces them to bring him down. Clear penalty! Tom Shaw, who has scored 6 goals, of which 5 were penalties, steps up and its saved! The rebound is blocked, but Sam Hughes finishes on the third attempt. Chester lead by two, a most unlikely scoreline.”
4.39pm GMT
Here are the teams for the evening Premier League game, between Chelsea and Tottenham:
Chelsea: Courtois, Azpilicueta, Luiz, Cahill, Moses, Kante, Matic, Alonso, Pedro, Costa, Hazard. Subs: Begovic, Ivanovic, Fabregas, Oscar, Willian, Batshuayi, Chalobah.
Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Dier, Wimmer, Vertonghen, Walker, Wanyama, Dembele, Son, Eriksen, Alli, Kane. Subs: Janssen, Vorm, Nkoudou, Trippier, Onomah, Winks, Carter-Vickers.
Referee: Michael Oliver.
4.38pm GMT
“I’m not sure whether as ‘Official Eastliegh v Chester Reporter on Behalf of the Guardian’ I am supposed to report on all National League games, but I take it that I do, because no one else does,” writes Ronan Devenish. “Points of Interest: Southport 4-5 Braintree Town; Jake Gallagher sent off for Aldershot vs Sutton; Macclesfield v Dover has been abandoned at 1-0 to Macclesfield. I wonder why?” That’ll be that fog we were talking about, though some are alleging that it was better when the game was stopped than back at 3pm when it was started.
Chorley vs Stafford postponed en-route so save a wasted a journey we came to Macclesfield vs Dover which has now been suspended due to fog pic.twitter.com/l6GwA9Fqj3
4.36pm GMT
The breakthrough! Origi has the ball outside the penalty area on the left, executes a couple of lollipops, checks inside Watmore and from the edge of the box and an unpromising angle, sends the ball curling across goal and in at the back stick!
4.34pm GMT
Palace are back in it! Cabaye’s corner is headed down by Dann, flapped at by Fabianski and tapped in by Tomkins!
4.32pm GMT
Hull equalise! Snodgrass’s free-kick from deep on the left is knocked down by a combination of various body parts and Dawson sidefoots just inside the near post!
4.31pm GMT
That was indeed a fine finish from Negredo, running onto a through-ball behind the Leicester defence, letting it run across him and hitting a left-foot half-volley across goal and in at the far post.
4.30pm GMT
Liverpool are still huffing and puffing, with Firmino passing the ball across the six-yard line and two team-mates throwing themselves at it and missing.
4.30pm GMT
Middlesbrough are back in front! And Negredo has scored two goals in a Premier League game for the first time. Middlesbrough’s official tweeter liked it.
72. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALL!!! NEGREDO OH MY DAYS WHAT A FINISH!
4.28pm GMT
Another goal for Swansea! It’s a free-kick from the right this time, flicked on at the near post, it comes off Tomkins’ head, perhaps off another defender as well, and Fer runs in at the far post to tap in!
4.26pm GMT
It’s a corner from the right and Llorente, who has just come off the bench, rises at the near post and heads it across goal. Cabaye clears on the line – it looked like he used his right arm to do so – but Fer knocks in the rebound! Had he not done so, Swansea could well have had a penalty and Palace a red card.
4.24pm GMT
Leicester have brought off Jamie Vardy, whose top-flight goal drought for the club continues. Slimani is on.
4.23pm GMT
… It’s cleared, and O’Shea is booked for holding Origi as Liverpool try to break.
4.23pm GMT
Sunderland have a corner, which is already, before being taken, probably their attacking highlight of the afternoon.
4.22pm GMT
… Snodgrass shoots, curling low towards the left-hand post hoping that Foster does a Hennessey and leaves the side he is supposed to be protecting. Foster doesn’t, and saves.
4.20pm GMT
Hull have a free kick, just outside the D. Excellent shooting chance for them here.
4.17pm GMT
Sunderland just had a chance to break, but Van Aanholt’s pass was woeful and possession was lost. A better pass could have released Defoe there.
4.16pm GMT
Oooh! What a chance for Swansea, and what a tackle to stop it! Barrow is played in by Fulton on the right-hand side of the penalty area, but Tomkins slides in from nowhere to steal the ball as he prepared to shoot.
4.13pm GMT
Oooh! Lovely move for Liverpool, but still no goal! Can, just outside the area, chips the ball up for himself, lobs it over his shoulder into the box, and Wijnaldum runs onto it and pokes it across goal and narrowly wide.
4.10pm GMT
Another player is being stretchered off, and this time it’s Crystal Palace’s Connor Wickham, who tracks back, attempts to challenge Sigurdsson, misses him, tries to stop and turn in a hurry and his knee goes from under him. Andros Townsend will replace him.
4.08pm GMT
There are various photos of Coutinho’s ankle pointing at a quite uncanny angle doing the rounds. It certainly looks painful.
4.05pm GMT
Hull have made a half-time change, Diomande coming on and Mason coming off.
4.04pm GMT
Second halves are, by and large, under way.
4.02pm GMT
Ronan Devenish has filed his half-time report from Eastleigh v Chester. “The first shot of the afternoon on target was converted by the clinical Richards after he taps in a low Alabi cross from six yards.” That was in the 20th minute, the Press Association reports.
Here’s the team sheet, if you’re really keen:
3.59pm GMT
Here’s a better photograph of the Macclesfield fog. Yes, fog isn’t the most exciting subject for photographs and yes, one would probably have been enough, but might as well make it a good one.
Now inplay: Spot the Ball at Macclesfield vs Dover. @NonLeagueCrowd pic.twitter.com/adHgG3qd3i
3.58pm GMT
Good news for Bury, whose league results from the start of September onwards read as follows:
WWWWWLLLLLLLLL
3.50pm GMT
Mané has a low shot saved, and that’s the last significant action of the first half at Anfield. All Premier League games are now at the break.
3.49pm GMT
Macclesfield are 1-0 up at home to Dover Athletic, though it’s possible that a few goals have been scored without anyone noticing.
Really hard to see what is happening at the end Dover are attacking pic.twitter.com/RSeUDg15vr
3.47pm GMT
And Can’s had another headed chance, but the ball drifts wide. It’s an absolute barrage at the moment, with 10 Sunderland players within 20 yards of their own goal as that move reached its conclusion.
3.46pm GMT
Liverpool had 77.4% of possession in the opening 40 minutes. They’re now into stoppage time, of which there will be four minutes or so.
3.42pm GMT
This is frustrating stuff for Liverpool. Sunderland are playing 4-5-1 when they don’t have the ball – which is most of the time – and the home side are failing to work their way through them. Lovren and Can have both had headers inside the penalty area in the last few minutes, the former going pretty close, but they’re some way below their best at the moment.
3.39pm GMT
Palace hit the bar! It’s a cross from the right and Zaha heads it against the woodwork! It then drops perfectly for either Benteke or Wickham to knock it in, but they get in each other’s way, and Swansea escape!
3.38pm GMT
Swansea get a free-kick, a few yards outside the penalty area. Palace have a hefty wall in place, but as Sigurdsson runs up to the ball Hennessey decides he should add himself to that side of the goal, shifts to his left, and the ball whistles past his right shoulder!
3.37pm GMT
A Tony Pulis special. Corner whipped in, centre-back gets his head on it, easy.
3.36pm GMT
I have now seen it. Mahrez floated the ball into the area, and Morgan was prevented from heading it by Calum Chambers, leaping with his arms raised. Looked a penalty to me. Mahrez smacks it in, with the keeper barely moving!
3.34pm GMT
Leicester have a penalty! The referee has spotted a handball and pointed to the spot! On Sky Charlie Nicholas says it’s an “awful decision”, but I haven’t seen it yet.
3.32pm GMT
It looks like Divock Origi is coming on for Liverpool.
3.32pm GMT
Liverpool’s game against Sunderland is not going according to plan. Firstly, they haven’t really created very much. Second, Coutinho has been receiving treatment for the last couple of minutes and a stretcher has just been brought on.
3.30pm GMT
Oooof! Okazaki overhead-kicks the ball into the crossbar from six yards as Leicester search for an equaliser.
3.29pm GMT
Aston Vill have taken and indeed lost the lead against Cardiff in the last couple of minutes. It’s now 1-1.
3.28pm GMT
“Like everyone in the US I can watch any game I like,” boasts JR. “Unlike all but a handful of people I am watching Hull v West Brom. Neither team wants the ball but so far the Tigers want it less. A lot less. They look terrible. The Baggies’ players (and us fans) have no idea how to deal with this situation.” Excellent update. Every time I look up West Brom are kicking the ball out of play from 25 yards, which I guess is promising.
3.23pm GMT
An early substitution at Anfield, as one of the referee’s assistants was, well, flagging.
22: We have our first change of the day - one linesman on for another.
[0-0] #LIVSUN pic.twitter.com/bJ3cbvCDvG
3.21pm GMT
And Real Madrid are 1-0 up. You’ll never guess who scored it.
5' ¡GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL de @Cristiano! @realmadrid 1-0 @RealSporting#RMLiga #HalaMadrid pic.twitter.com/tXc4lTxcS8
3.20pm GMT
Palace take the lead in the bottom-of-the-table six-pointer. The balls hoofed up from the back four, flicked on by Benteke, and Zaha controls with his back to goal and two defenders behind him, spins, shifts the ball out of his feet and then shoots low across goal and in!
3.19pm GMT
Four goals in the Championship so far, three of them from penalties – although Reading’s Garath McCleary only scored his on the rebound. Also celebrating: Fernando Forestieri, who has put Sheffield Wednesday 1-0 up at Wolves, and Birmingham, whose Clayton Donaldson has done the spot-kick duties. The only non-penalty-taking scorer so far is Ipswich’s Grant Ward, who has put his side a goal up against QPR.
3.15pm GMT
After 13 minutes, a first goal in 12 games for Alvaro Negredo. The ball is punted forward from right-back, worked across midfield to the left wing, Gaston Ramirez brings it to the edge of the area and plays it square to Negredo, who hits it first-time into the top right corner. Nice finish.
3.12pm GMT
Look who’s at Anfield today:
3.07pm GMT
Ooof! A big miss at Swansea! It’s Christian Benteke who’s responsible, latching onto a loose ball at the back post after it bobbled across the area, and sidefooting it over the bar from no distance at all.
3.06pm GMT
More on those taxis:
1' Play stopped. Taxis and balls on the pitch.... #cafc #CAFCLive
#cafc protests stopping the play of game! #cafc #rolandout #protests pic.twitter.com/FPbLkuyMbu
Remember, taxis are for hurling, I mean, hailing... #cafc #TaxiForRoland pic.twitter.com/d0u56XRCjR
3.04pm GMT
Last month Charlton’s game against Coventry was stopped due to an avalanche of plastic pigs. Today’s it’s foam taxis:
#cafc @CharltonCARD have literally purchased every foam taxi available worldwide and they're now on The Valley Pitch. pic.twitter.com/REOeD7j98e
3.03pm GMT
Incidentally, you can read all about Manchester City’s 2-1 win at Burnley here:
Related: Sergio Agüero and Manchester City fight back to see off Burnley
3.01pm GMT
Kick-off! It’s on.
3.00pm GMT
The really funny thing about that Hull-supporting dog is that it’s not even a one-off:
2.59pm GMT
The players are out! Football is about to happen!
2.57pm GMT
Somebody call the RSPCA.
2.43pm GMT
“I’m disappointed that you haven’t included Eastleigh v Chester on your fixture list,” writes Ronan Devenish. “Highlight of the day for 1,226 of the population, including me.” If you’re there, feel free to send me occasional updates – I’m sure the world wants to know what’s going on at Ten Acres.
2.41pm GMT
A request! Stevie Samuels wants to know who’s playing in the game between York City and Bromley. Your wish is very much my command:
Bromley: Julian, Johnson, Swaine, Holland, Anderson, Martin, Minshull, Dymond, Turgott, Porter, Sho-Silva. Subs: Wynter, Chorley, Cunnington, Dennis, Higgs.
York: Letheren, Rooney, Whittle, Newton, Holmes, Heslop, Woodland, Charles, Cooper, Klukowski, McDaid. Subs: Fry, Fenwick, Dixon, Rzonca, Bruton.
Referee: Adrian Quelch.
2.40pm GMT
Alan Pardew has a pre-match chat, starting with a word about Connor Wickham, who comes into the Palace team today:
His all-round contribution to the game, not just his goals, he gives us a bit more of an attacking threat. Hopefully he’ll get us a win today. It’s obviously going to be a tense game, because of the positions we’re in, but you need to play with that calmness at times. We need to prove that in a pressure situation we’ve got the same mentality, but we’ve got good players and they work hard and hopefully we’ll get a win.
2.23pm GMT
The team sheets have all been filed, and these are the names upon them. If you’d like any line-ups from outside the top flight, give me a shout.
Hull: Marshall, Elmohamady, Dawson, Davies, Tymon, Snodgrass, Livermore, Mason, Clucas, Henriksen, Mbokani. Subs: Robertson, Maguire, Meyler, Huddlestone, Jakupovic, Diomande, Bowen.
West Brom: Foster, Dawson, McAuley, Evans, Nyom, Fletcher, Yacob, Brunt, Morrison, Phillips, Rondon. Subs: Olsson, Robson-Kanu, Gardner, McClean, Galloway, Chadli, Palmer.
Referee: Paul Tierney.
2.19pm GMT
There are a lot of rainbow laces – and captain’s armbands – to be seen today, after the Premier League, the Football League and the FA all backed Stonewall’s campaign to support LGBT players and fans. “All Premier League Clubs, and a number of clubs in the Championship, League One and League Two, English Football League, Premiership Rugby and Welsh Rugby will be involved,” according to an FA statement. Here are some laces in action in the QPR dressing room:
2.11pm GMT
Also at 3pm, the draw for the 2017 Confederations Cup will start. Here’s one of the happy attendees:
12.32pm GMT
The sun may be shining (in London, anyway), but will the football gods be similarly well-disposed towards us on this Saturday afternoon?
Time alone will tell, but there’s certainly enough action for us to be keeping an eye on, with these being the 3pm kick-offs in England. In the Premier League Swansea’s game against Crystal Palace look particularly pivotal, while in the Championship Newcastle will be looking for a ninth successive win against Blackburn, languishing in 22nd, and Fulham have the top six in their sights but Brighton and their 11-game unbeaten record in their way
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