This is something I just wrote...it has a before and after but I'd like to get an honest opinion from a random scene. Just to know if I'm writing decently :)
Be kind... But you know, tear it to shreds too.
I felt nervous as I sat down next to him. I laid my head back and looked up at the sky. You could see every star. They shined so bright, even the dimmest seemed like fireflies against the darkened canvas.
"I don't think I've ever seen so many stars." I whispered.
Ryder looked up, we stood that way for a while and I thought he had fallen asleep but then he said, "that's my star." He pointed into the blue vastness.
"That one over there?" I squinted my eye and pointed to the brightest star I could find. Ryder leaned against me and put his arm around me. He closed one eye and grabbed my hand, using my index finger as a pointer. He smelled so good, like the ocean and the woods and boy. "That one there, just under that really bright one." Hopis breath grazed my cheek, sending a shiver through me.
"What are you going to name it?" I asked in a complete tranze. I wanted him there, holding me for as long as possible.
He pondered on that for a long minute. "Steve" he said with thoughtfulness. I laughed so hard that I snorted.
"Whats so funny?" He said, feigning hurt. He pulled away slightly leaving my side cold and barren.
"You can't name a star Steve." I retorted.
"Why not?" He looked at me like I had just grown an extra head.
"You just can't" that was the best argument I could manage."that's like naming planet Earth, something like Bob."
"So?" He asked, clearly not satisfied with my answers.
"So, its wrong. The world can't be...just Bob." I said, making a face.
"Who made you the queen of Bob?" He said softly chuckling into the air. He had a point.
"Steve huh?" I gave in after a while.
"Yup, Steve." Ryder and I watched Steve floating in the sky for a really long time. Or at least it seemed like a really long time. I was perfectly content to just sit there with him but yet, I couldn't stop the thoughts swirling in my head.
"I'm sorry...about earlier. I know you have a girlfriend and it was wrong of me to..."
He looked at me and it kept me from finishing my sentence.
"It's fine, for the good of the dare right? I'm sure you would have done the same."
I nodded slowly though I knew I would most likely coward out of a dare like that, even if I were single.
The way he watched me, his eyes jumping from my eyes to my lips and back again. I knew what he was about to do. It was that same look he had that night at the bar. I didn't pull away or push him, I simply sat very still and waited. I almost expected him to lean in slowly, cautiously. Or perhaps he would crash his lips to mine in a fast and forceful manner. Ryder did neither of those things. His lips skimmed mine like he was tracing them to memory. "Say something" he whispered into my lips. I sat there, my lips slightly parted but no words formed. His eyes silently begging for something. Acceptance maybe.
"Please say something Savannah" he looked torn and it only made me want him more. I knew it was wrong. I should stop this before its to late but when he leaned in closer and brushed my hair from my neck a moan escaped my lips. His eyes quickly changed and he held in his breath before leaning in to kiss me. He was soft and gentle and I was stunned into place. I couldn't move, but I parted my lips slightly, welcoming him to continue. I closed my eyes and his lips were so tender against mine that they didn't even seem to be completely touching. Just barely grazing my skin. He had his hand on my cheek, the pad of his thumb touching the corner of my mouth. He deepened the kiss and that's when I let go. Our tongues danced together, desperate to feel more. I opened my eyes and watched as feeling flooded his.
His tongue skimmed over the inside of my lip and my body leaned forward to meet him. An animalistic groan escaped his throat making me only more responsive. I raised my hands to wrap around the back of his head and pull him to me. My fingers were tightly knit into the locks of his hair at the nape of his neck. I wanted more, so much more. Our breaths became erratic and then just as soon as it had begun, I snapped out of it. I weakly pushed him away from me, but mourned the loss of his body when we were no longer touching.
"I'm sorry." He said so softly that I could barely hear him. My lips tingled and I didn't know wether I should wipe them of him or pull them into my mouth to taste more of him. I ended up doing both.
I didn't know what to say or how to feel. I felt numb and deliciously alive all at once.
We laid our heads back on the rock and looked up towards Steve. Minutes, maybe hours passed with us just sitting there. I wondered if he was thinking the same as me. He probably wouldn't remember this in the morning, I probably wouldn't remember it, and rather then peace and a guilt free conscious, that little realization just saddened me.
"I'm not sorry I kissed you Savannah." He whispered up at Steve, with solace in his voice. Like he was softly praying.
"I wanted to do that for a while" He continued.
"Me too..." I admited, it was a soft whisper, mostly murmured to myself.
"Can we pretend?"
Margarida