“Men always say that as the defining compliment: the Cool Girl. She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means that I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see these men - friends, coworkers, strangers - giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much - no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version - maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: ‘I like strong women.’ If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because ‘I like strong women’ is code for ‘I hate strong women.’)
I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to like cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.
But it never happened. Instead, women across the nation colluded in our degradation! Pretty soon Cool Girl became the standard girl. Men believed she existed - she wasn’t just a dreamgirl one in a million. Every girl was supposed to be this girl, and if you weren’t, then there was something wrong with you.”
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Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn. (via lolitapille)
The doors of the church are now open.
Is there one today that is willing to turn their life over to the Savior?
Is there one?
(via dynastylnoire)
This sounds bitter amongst other things.
You’re man will fuck someone else if you’re a strong woman because all men hate strong women?
So if you’re a strong woman or one who’s comfortable with herself you will inevitably be cheated on. And if you’re the kind of girl who ‘claims’ to like guy things you’re a liar and a traitor of some sort?
I get the intention. But any feminism that seeks to define what women can and can’t be based on personal perception of what a woman should like is incomplete.
Furthermore any feminism that paints all men as inherently woman hating if the woman doesn’t fit what you think all guys want is equally problematic.
(via am-i-a-bella)
In complete how? The article is saying that women often try to make themselves into someone else (thus rendering themselves incomplete) to make men happy. To make men like them. To be what men like because they want to be like.
Yes women are bitter about having to transform into something they are not to fit in with the pretty little doormat model men have for women, because to be that person kills the woman that becomes the door mat just to be loved.
And there are different versions of the door mat. For black women it’s the ankh door mat. Natural hair, chilling with nomake up, looking like Jill Scott or Erykah or and writing poetry and playing madden and feeding these dudes and writing poetry .
Or being the religious revision who goes to their institution on the time and knows all the verses and dresses modestly but is freaky at home with him thus violating the same verses that bind her just for him.
Or the love and basketball package where the girl is dudes best friend who is just like a dude but a dude with breasts and vagina and pretty hair and lip gloss that stays up all night listening to him talk about all the other girls he is fucking and doesn’t care because she loves him like he loves the Heat.
All these women are fantasies that are completely based on the man being sexually, and aesthetically satisfied while the woman is there…there is no reciprocity and there is no growth for her. Only silence. And she suffers for it while he just eats her food and has sex with her and walks around with his trophy.
(via dynastylnoire)