THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE -How Does a Job Seeker Avoid NST
(Negative Self Talk)
Lisa Adams
Negative Self Talk (NST) hits everyone at some point in his or her lives, careers, and job searches. It is a part of life. How we bounce back from it and fight the NST is key. Each of us has a natural behavior or interaction style we utilize when working and communicating with others. At times this style drives how we perceive our situations and ourselves.
Here are a few tactics to fight NST based on your interaction style.
If you are driven by accuracy, privacy, and love the details:
Focus on what you can control, ignore the uncontrollable. Job search has many factors that you can't always control. Go work on one of your hobbies to occupy your mind on something other than job search.
If you are a “doer”, leader, and are driven by results:
Enjoy focusing your energy on others. You have a need to accomplish and since you can't be "doing" your job search 100% of the time, focus on an activity that will allow you to take charge and serve others.
If you are more social with high energy:
Make plans to be around fun and encouraging people this week. Go socialize or attend an event. Focus the conversation on others, not your job search. Enjoy getting recharged by doing something fun.
If you tend to “go with the flow” and are very accepting of others:
Look to find a way to have a little fun with a smaller group, perhaps close family or dear friends. They will be warm and accepting of you and help you recharge.
. Learn more about Lisa's coaching here.
Kristen Burke
It is very easy to let negative self talk creep in when you are looking for a job, everyone doubts themselves at some point. The problem is that it can really bog you down and hurt your job search. My advice is to deal with the negative thoughts head on. I find that my negative thoughts come at night so I keep a pad of paper and pen on my night stand. I write down my worries and fears so I can look at them the next day. My rule is that once it's down on paper I can't think about it until the morning. By writing it down I keep from obsessing about it and I allow myself time to get into a better frame of mind. The next morning I deal with the issue, I look at my negative thoughts and talk myself through a positive outcome. The key is that the negative thoughts don't take over! Learn more about Kristen's coaching here.
Anne Marie Cooley
" Negative Self Talk has its roots in our fears and doubts. Navigating a job search requires a great deal of introspection and self examination. You're evaluating your career path to date and exploring new paths by acquiring new skills and developing networks. It's a great deal to process, especially when you factor in the expectations (internal and external) to be at your best at all times!
Face your fears! Ask yourself what the worst outcome might be and whether any amount of worrying about it will change the outcome. Then ask yourself what actions you can take to change the outcome. (Negative) talk is cheap. Empower yourself by taking action! "
Learn more about Anne Marie's coaching here.
John Toomey
"Negative self talk is not uncommon in a job search. We get frustrated with our progress and start to doubt our skills and experience. This effects our attitude and comes across in our discussions and interviews with potential employers. What we need to do is turn it around. First revisit your skills and get reassured of your strengths, second refresh yourself on your successful projects and accomplishments and third call one of your super positive and supportive friends or family members that just picks you up and gets you back on track. The trick is knowing all of us have these down days and what to do to shake them off!!"
Learn more about John's coaching here.
Bud Bilanich
Job searches are frustrating -- waiting for call backs after an interview, not getting a job you really wanted. It's easy to get down on yourself and get into some negative self talk. I have a couple of recommendations to beat negative self talk during a job search. First make sure you do the absolute best you can. Make sure your resume and LinkedIn profile are awesome, not just good. Prepare for interviews. Make sure you are ready to answer any question that might get thrown at you. When you do the best you can, things often work out. Even when they don't work out, you can avoid negative self talk by saying to yourself, "I know I did the best I could. Even if it wasn't enough, I feel good about myself because I did my best."
This brings me to my second point. Choose to learn something from every setback, rejection or failure. When things don't work out, take responsibility for yourself. Review what you did, Get feedback from others. Find one or two things you can do to improve -- even if you did your best. When your best isn't good enough, you have to get better. By working to get better you are doing something positive, and building momentum. And momentum is a powerful deterrent to negative self talk.
Do your best and learn from your failures -- sounds pretty simple. And it is -- in concept. But you have to do the work to make these ideas work for you in your job search.
Learn more about Bud's coaching here.
Elizabeth Dexter-Wilson
When you find yourself making a negative statement, write down the statement on a piece of paper. Then, counter this negative statement by writing down two positive statements next to it. Read the two positive statements out loud at least 5 times. Then, cross out the negative statement.
Surround yourself with people who are positive. Stay away from the Divas, Trolls and Drama Queens in your life.
Learn more about Elizabeth Dexter-Wilsons coaching here.