by Sheila Kimball — www. LongingsEnd.com
I did so much wrong that sometimes I have a hard time accepting I did a lot right.
Yet my sons now grown gracious and forgiving readily tell me what a great mom I have always been.
But when they were tiny treasures in earthen vessels entrusted to me they got broken because I was broken. And God had to raise the hurting little girl in me as I was single-mom-raising three little boys.
He had the harder job!
Before my former spouse left — helped out the door by my disrespectful, loveless, hot tempered and controlling ways – we looked like a picture perfect Sunday morning church family, masks worn well, filing in and out, knowing all the right things to say or not say while in the company of the body.
What I didn’t rightly know then was how deep and wide and high is the love of Christ for me. Or how my life is to be a living example of God’s love for others.
Without knowing this perfect love by heart, fear and trembling took control, guided by perfectionism and her cousin legalism. And raising godly children revolved around rules more than teaching them how to deepen a relationship with the One who loves them best.
So I dusted off my Bible and drilled my boys in scripture verses, making sure we attended every church service and event offered.
I helped them memorize the Lord’s Prayer and my made-up song about God loving the sleepyheads woke my boys bright and early.
Monday through Friday we did Bibles at Breakfast reading through the Gospel of Mark during the school year.
I told my sons that Jesus was seated in the now empty chair at our dinner table and He wanted them to obey.
I pontificated about following Jesus and my near gold-star performance had me crossing the “t” and dotting the “i” in doctrine yet my heart was lacking sorely.
Certainly, there was a lot of love and laughter in our home during childhood, with relaxation and fun and friends and family. But in training them to be Christian gentlemen I erred on the side of performing versus learning to love and understanding God’s great love for them.
Love trumping all and without love, we lose it all.
To raise children more willing to give their hearts to serve His kingdom a parent must tend their little lamb hearts the way Jesus shepherds our souls.
With tender, patient, unconditional love that covers over a multitude of dusty imperfections, throwing out the rule book while sharing the Good Book everlasting love story.
But I wasn’t as evolved back then. It took several hard chapters of life to help me learn about love — and I continue learning – and I unfortunately passed on to my sons an impersonal God with a big stick, and salvation was shouted from the rooftops more as fire insurance than a beautiful gift of eternal relationship.
I didn’t get that God was crazy in love with me so I was unable to share this incredible, powerful truth with them.
And love, more than facts about Christ and bible verses wielded to prove parental points, is the key lest the letter of the law kill the spirit of love and a child’s spirit suffocating.
So to raise godly children first make sure you are a godly child who intimately knows God and His great love.
Spend less time drilling Bible verses and more time being those verses to little eyes watching.
And teach your child by your example that God loves them whether or not their attendance at Sunday school is perfect.
For His word says that God so loved the world He sent His son with love setting us free to be the little and big people we were created to be.
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