By far, one of the most petrifying experiences I ever had was years ago, when I was 20, at an Amway meeting (yes, I was in Amway for about a year– it was in retrospect one of the best things that happened to me.)
Not because of the company itself– I personally am not crazy about network marketing set ups, often referring to it as capitalism on steroids, unless they have a solid product, process or service– but because it exposed me to some of the best training and success tools, books, people etc ..), where I was scheduled to give a 2 minute speech on a particular product.
I walked to the podium, placed my notes on it and both hands on either side of the podium and commenced to freeze up.
Oh, I also started hyper-ventilating.
It was awful! I stood there, paralysed, breathing so heavy they could hear me way at the back of the room. All I could think of was the fact that there was an exit door behind me and to my left. Run!! Run now!!! Escape, get the hell out of this hell you walked into.
(NOTE: Let me get this clear to you, because I know some of you will understand this from a totally distorted angle: I was not freaking out because I was in Amway. I was freaking out because I was in front of people, all eyes on me. You know, public speaking stuff.)
I stood there for about 30 seconds, frozen, heaving, while the look of horror on those in the audience increased by the second. Eventually, I started reading my notes.
I literally sped read every word, not once daring to look up.
Then , when done, I read my last line which was “Are there any questions?” As soon as I said this and actually looked up, and looked out at the audience, an immediate sense of relief came over me. Not only because I was done, but for some strange reason seeing their faces put me at ease.
That was the first and last time I ever froze-up in front of an audience. Years later I joined Toastmasters and started learning and experiencing the anxiety and fear of public speaking in a controlled and workshop environment. I still felt anxious, scared to death, knees knocking, stomach like a tornado of butterflies, but with persistence and practice I managed to line up the butterflies and get them to fly in formation.
It took me about fifteen structured speeches in that period of my life before I actually started to feel confident. And that feeling of confidence was just the start.
That was kindergarden stuff compared to the skill-level I feel today.
I was just starting to feel confident.
What does this tell me? It tells me that getting good at something takes time, application, practise, persistence, and a whole heap of willingness to move through the fear.
Fear will ALWAYS be there. You just have to be willing to move ahead in spite of it. I had a desire to get good, and I was willing to pay the price to achieve that.
Okay, lean in and listen carefully.
I want to tell you something of paramount importance.
Most folks won’t ever understand this simple idea that I am trying to convey to you. They go to their graves never having explored and revealed their true desires, skills and talents, forever happy with the safety of whatever rationale and excuse-du-jour works for them and soothes the anxiety and bubbling fears that attempt to rise up.
Don’t be that person.
Their rationale is like a balm that temporarily calms the spirit and passions, forever locking them up.
Here it is: They actually believe that those fears are like dragons trying to escape from behind their self-imposed steel bars, and when set free will destroy everything in it’s path.
Not so.
Here’s the truth: The fact is, 99.9999% of us are NOT born with that much talent or skill. Of course, we may be predisposed to certain areas, like having a great voice, or we may even have a great funny bone because we grew up with funny parents, but for the most part we need to face up to and break through the self-imposed rational layered fears and start the path of self-discovery. Let the curtain rise, so to speak.
I say this because we are photographers and being a photographer means being able to communicate with people.
The number one source of fear and anxiety has to do with communicating with people. If you overcome these fears by whatever means, experiences, challenges or practices available, you will let your personality shine through. You only get there through work and practice. There are no shortcuts or easy roads, so you may as well accept the challenge.
When fears and lack of confidence take over and create roadblocks for you, it only means you lack the experience in that area you are struggling with. For many of us, it’s two fold. Dealing with people, of all ages, in many different scenarios, many of which are high stress IE weddings, multi-generational family shoots, and, gulp, the 2 year old session, and, dealing with the technical side of things.
You must know how to direct and lead with confidence, plus, you must be aware of lighting, composition, posing, expressions and wrap all these things up into one big zen like ball that personifies you, the photographer, who all are willing to follow, enjoy being around, having their photos created by, and when all is said and done, they say: “that was fun!”.
And you have the knowledge and confidence and knowing that you did your best, created some kick butt images and ultimately are heading to a nice, beefy sale.
You only get there one way. Practice. Hard work. Challenge your fears. Keep growing.
There are no manuals, workshops, tips, steps, seminars that will replace the work YOU must do to achieve that blissful level of confidence that radiates from within you.
You, and only you can climb that mountain, slaying the dragons as you climb.
Hard? Yes. Worth it? You bet.
More than I could ever explain. You end up with a whole new side of you, a whole new skill set that never goes away. It’s for life!
Yours in success and in photography,
Robert Provencher