2015-03-06

RULE BRITANNIA - BEST OF BRITISH

RULE BRITANNIA – BEST OF BRITISH

”Hear Ye, Hear Ye People, lend me your ears..we mean eyes sorry !, as you may know Windsurf HQ is in Great Britain and we are proud of our island nation ! What better way to show it, than our completely made up, absolutely scurrilous and  potentially libellous homage to all things British and some of our best windsurfing characters and beaches. Read on while we disconnect the phones and hide behind the filing cabinet – PS – anyone know any good lawyers ??”

Let’s face it, the UK isn’t the rest of the windsurfing world’s normal idea of paradise. Our beaches aren’t lined with palm trees, we don’t sail in turquoise water or have  warm constant trade winds fanning along any stretch of our vast coastline but here at Windsurf we like to think, North, South, East or West, British is still best !

Words & Photos JOHN CARTER

We don’t need those superfluous prerequisites that the less intelligent conjure up when dreaming of the perfect playground. Our windsurfing scene in the UK may not resemble Hawaii or the Caribbean but nonetheless we are an Island surrounded by water, albeit mostly brownish and instead of day in day out boring trades, we have wild gales and sea breezes that blow in all directions, plus if you don’t mind driving, it is fair to say we have the quality and variety of waves, speed strips and blasting conditions on par with anything the rest of the world has to offer. Yes Britain stand up, hold your harness high and wave your tea bags, Union Jacks and copies of Windsurf proudly as this is our time to say just how blooming brilliant Britain is. With tears in our eyes and Rule Britannia on loop on the office ipod, here at Windsurf Towers we decided it was time to pay homage to a few of our National Treasures. So without any further ado, its time to salute some of the inspirational characters in our sport; drool over Britain’s finest beaches and revel in some of our nation’s finest traditions and idiosyncrasies that we think put the Great into Britain.

BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT

First off, we want to say bravo to some of the characters and unsung heroes on the UK windsurfing scene.While many key figures are on the front line, several of these guys are down in the trenches behind the scenes quietly going about their business and genuinely being involved and promoting the sport for all the right reasons.

DUNCAN COOMBS

Some say he was born in the ice age and invented the first windsurfer out of a dug out log, a bamboo boom and cow hide as a sail. Some say he invented baked beans and that he can out run a race horse over a hundred metres. Some say he was raised by wolves and lived in a cave in Brandon Bay for three whole winters. We all know him as Duncan Coombs one of the pioneers of British windsurfing and now the most respected wave and freestyle judge on the planet. Duncan learned to windsurf on Highcliff Beach back in 1981, was one of the early winners of Tiree and was one of the first Brits to compete on the World tour. Claims to fame include teaching Barbara Windsor how to windsurf, meeting Jenna De Rosnay as well as messing up the prize giving in Tiree one year after one too many drams before he hit the stage. A wry old character, like an old fisherman Coombs knows the weather, the tides and the storms and still rips it up in Cornwall when the conditions are firing.

DAVE WHITE

Some say he never sleeps and that he has webbed feet that allow him to outswim Dolphins across the lagoon in Sotavento. Some say at the very same location he flooded a hire car, left Peter Hart to take the blame and on the very same night danced on the bar with Bjorn Dunkerbeck after doing tequila slammers. Some might say he can do a monkey gybe (Essex Duck) at the ‘Ray’ going flat out at 60 knots, he never blinks and he is wanted by the CIA. Believe whatever you want but the Mighty Whitey is without doubt one of the greatest ambassadors for UK windsurfing of all time. His unwavering enthusiasm for windsurfing and to promote the sport is second to none. Always delivering with 200% effort and 300% passion, Whitey’s story has been one of broken bones, a brush with cancer and numerous attempts at the world speed record. When Whitey gets knocked back he always come back stronger and is currently working for RRD, taking awesome shots and loving every minute of it.

JOHN SKYE

Some might say that he wooed his wife Nayra in a nightclub in Sylt and that he has a secret fetish for Morris dancing. Some say he has got eight toes on his left foot which help him bottom turn with more drive on port tack and he only windsurfs every third Friday during leap years. Some say he has worn padded pants ever since he tried his first double loop and that his daughter Lilly beat him in an arm wrestle at her first birthday party. Anyone who knows John Skye will be aware of his devious side! We heard he steals sweets from his own daughter and even stooped as low as stealing Monopoly money from poor Nayra last Christmas so he could afford Park Lane. Seriously, John is one of the nicest guys in the business, he has won multiple British titles and he really is one of the best sports in windsurfing. Skyeboy never misses out on the NWF and despite living in the sunny Canary Islands, loves nothing better than a cross onshore jump me up at West Wittering in a howling gale!

NICK DEMPSEY

Some say all the taps in his house are made of real gold and that after missing the medal places at the Beijing Olympics he filled a whole swimming pool with his tears. Some say that if he clicks his fingers all the lights in Weymouth will flicker for over a minute and that he does two hundred one handed press ups first thing every morning. With bronze and silver Olympic medals to his name Nick Dempsey will be looking to upgrade to gold come the next games in Brazil. Besides the bit we all saw on TV and in the magazine when he gloriously won his silver in Weymouth in front of his home crowd, behind the scenes Nick works incredibly hard training and is a professional in every aspect of his game. Nick is totally devoted to the sport of windsurfing, a true Brit and fingers crossed he can bring back gold from Rio.

NIK BAKER

Some say he once tried to bulldoze JC’s house after a feature called Toy Story in Windsurf back in 1998 and that Robby Naish let his tyres down the first time he lost to him at Diamond Head. Some say that he once stared at a box of orange juice for an hour because on it was the word concentrate! Some say he shaves with a chainsaw and he can use his ears to fly. All we know is that during his professional career Nik Baker re wrote the record books as far as achievements in British Windsurfing are concerned. Beating Robby Naish in the final of an Aloha classic back in 1999; that was the stuff that dreams are made of, even if it meant Robby was in a terrible huff for the next six months. As for Indoor Windsurfing, Baker is King and blew the competition away at pretty much every event around Europe while the scene was in fashion. After twenty years on the PWA world tour, racing, freestyling, supercrossing and wave sailing, all to the very highest level, Baker has switched to being the UK Fanatic distributor which he runs with all his usual professionalism, drive and energy. He still sails at ‘Shorekipa’ whenever it’s firing and there is barely a weekend during the summer he isn’t out on the road at a demo or helping promote windsurfing in any way he can!

PETER HART

Some say after his illness a few years ago he came out of hospital with new hydraulic legs and that in the autumn his arms go brown and fall off!  Some might say he has a secret vault buried below his house full of twenty years worth of articles on how to Gybe. Some even say he once got the ‘shanks’ when playing Carter at golf in Maui and later in the same year was beaten by JC’s short game tactics in the Tiree table tennis championships. Jokes aside, according to his web site he has been voted as the third most influential windsurfer in the world, whilst also being elected onto the ‘windsurfing hall of fame’. Since 1990 Harty has been passing on his considerable knowledge via his coaching clinics and various media from beaches all over the UK and around the world. Punters signing up for a course with Peter Hart obviously want to learn from the wealth of his experience but just as importantly, Harty is a lovely character, funny, entertaining, full of words of wisdom and always has a story to tell. Peter has been a contributor to Windsurf magazine since 1983 and that alone deserves an OBE in itself.

BYRONY SHAW

Some say she eats wavesailors for breakfast and can downhaul her race sail with her little finger while signing autographs with her toes. Some say she once got arrested for speeding in the Thames on her RSX on her way to meeting Prince Harry for a date. All we know is that Byrony was the first British women to medal in the Olympics for windsurfing and is one of the most passionate racers and windsurfers out there. Known for wearing her heart on her sleeve, most famously in a post race interview for the BBC !, No one trains harder or is more deserved of success and we wish Byrony the very best of British luck in her campaign to claim Gold for Britain.

ANDY KING

Some might say that he never goes under sixty on a windy day in Cornwall (one of the useful bonuses of being a PC in the west-country) and that his board once landed a triple loop although he wasn’t attached to it at the time. Some might say that he eats soup with a fork and has never seen the end of a movie. Some say that he operates 27 hours a day and can fall asleep in the middle of a back loop.We prefer to know him as Andy King one of the most talented and dedicated wave sailors in the country. Andy works for the Police force but still rarely misses a decent forecast. Now based in Cornwall, so he can live closer to the best waves and catch the biggest storms, Andy lets his sailing do the talking and occasionally competes on the BWA tour when his job allows. Put him out on the water when its blowing 35 knots cross shore with ramps and you’ll see some world class jumping display on par with the best in the world.

STEVE THORP

Some say he has a 1m sail in his shed in readiness for the perfect storm and that he has big wave forecasts transmitted direct to his brain via a self-built router. Some might say that his van has racked up over a million miles between Leicester and West Kirby on the same set of tyres and that his dog Izzy can do the Times crossword in less than two minutes. Some even say he once paddled across the Irish Sea to save cash on a ferry ticket and he never got wet because he was too busy taking selfies to put on facebook. All we know is his name is Steve Thorp and he is one of the UK’s most adventurous and fearless windsurfers. From double mast high ‘Cribbar’ to perfect cross off ‘Thurso East’ to banging out a 50 knot run at Kirby, Steve is an out and out adrenaline junky and will drive the length of the country to score a fix. Riding Moo custom boards, Hot Sails Maui, his self-designed K4 fins and using his own go pro harness mounts to film himself, check out Steve’ s website for an amazing blog of his adventures on the road. www.stevethorp.co.uk

GUY CRIBB

Some say he still has a full sized poster of himself on his bedroom wall and that he thinks the credit crunch is a breakfast cereal. Some say he once tried to pay a hotel bill with postage stamps and that he has a full sized tattoo of his own face on his face! Some might say that he once dressed all of his clients as Cheerleaders and took them into a pub full of beer swilling male Aussies in a pub in Lancelin. Not that he is vain or anything but rumour has it he has more pairs of shoes than his wife and every wall in his house is mirrored.We know and love him as Guy Cribb; one of the most enthusiastic, energetic and fun loving windsurfers in the country. Artistic, intuitive and devoted to his passion, Guy has delivered exceptional windsurfing coaching, social experiences and memorable courses for his guests all over the world since 1990. Did you know he was also 13 times UK windsurfing champion?

DAVE HACKFORD

Some say he once hacked into Roger Tushingham’s bank account and managed to steal 20 pence without him ever noticing and that he shared a room with the Brazilian female volleyball team at the 1984 LA Olympics. Some say on his stag night he was stripped to his underwear with his Y fronts stuffed full of Mongolian stir fry in a posh restaurant in Brighton and was later bundled naked and penniless onto the last train to Arundel. Some say that he has a Tushingham tattoo on his left buttock and once had an obsession for Bingo alongside Barrie Edgington, Peter Hart and Woodsie. All we know is that Dave was our first Olympic windsurfer way back in 1984. In fact he met Princes Anne in line at the opening ceremony, grasped here hand and said ‘You have brought the wind with you’ to which she replied ‘The Mexican food is not that bad’ Hackers almost collapsed in shock. A multiple British racing champion, Hackers has been a devotee to the sport and after joining up with Roger in 1992 has been a vital asset to Tushingham’s success story in the UK market.

PHIL HORROCKS

Some might say that he is banned in the town of Bangor on weekends and he can’t eat mashed potato. Some say he breaks into people’s house and leaves two extra mysterious keys in their kitchen drawer. Some say that he can rig up in less than twenty seconds using only a pair of chopsticks and can run a three minute mile backwards. Some say he reads the latest Windsurf magazine cover to cover every night before he goes to sleep and he once counted to a million just for fun. All we know is that his brother once locked him in the shed and he was later found hanging from the window by his underpants that were caught on the latch. Brotherly squabbles aside, he spent five years working at the Welsh National Watersports Centre where he fell in love with windsurfing and never looked back. A late starter in the sport his natural talent for wave sailing was soon apparent and he hit the pro circuit on both the BWA and PWA world tours. Last season his hard work paid off after he stole the show and secured the British wave sailing title in epic conditions down in Cornwall. Phil and his wife Maike now have a beautiful daughter but that doesn’t seem to be slowing him down and we now have the next generation of Horrocks rippers to look forward to.

THE MULLEN BROTHERS

Some say they were both born underwater and they are both die-hard fans of Girls Aloud. Some say they once stole Robby Naish’s rash vest at a PBA event in Tenerife and they never sleep, they wait. Some say that they eat bats for breakfast and they are both scared of clocks. Hailing from Northern Ireland, the two brothers are some of the most obsessed wave sailors in the country with a host of British and Irish titles to their names. If there is a solid forecast anywhere within a thousand mile radius, Timo will think nothing of driving to score a decent session. Yes we know that is slightly demented but you can’t deny that he is lacking in passion and is fully committed to promoting his sponsors Starboard and Severne. His elder brother Finn usually sails alone on the west coast of Ireland and his passion is to track down the biggest and gnarliest waves even in the depths of  Winter. Separate or together, there is never a dull moment at the beach when a Mullen is around and during those rare moments when they are not out sailing there will always be plenty of craic!

ROBBY SWIFT

Some say that he can open a bottle of beer with his left eye socket and that he can walk twelve lengths of an Olympic size pool while dragging a one tonne weight. Some might say he resembles an energizer bunny on steroids and that he is totally bionic from the knees down. Some say he can hold his breath for half an hour and that he was once arrested for flicking grapes at Finian Maynard. All we know is, despite his bad luck with injuries the ‘Swift’ has been delivering incredible results throughout his prolific career. A fearless windsurfer, named after none other than Mr Naish himself, Robby has conquered many big wave spots round the world and has been a solid ambassador for JP Pryde for as long as we can remember. Never write Swifty off as a future world champion and don’t forget you heard it here first!

CHRIS MUZZA MURRAY

Some have said he is confused by stairs and that he once posed in a pair of boxer shorts on a Tiree beach after being rubbed down in chip fat by a female press officer. Some might say that he danced in his underpants with Miss Scotland at a wild Scottish party and that he recently wrestled a Bengal tiger on a trip to India. We affectionately know him as Muzza, one of the most upbeat and friendly characters on the BWA circuit, helping bring events to life with his charismatic personality and very own breed of windsurfing energy. One thing for sure is that there is never a dull moment when Muzza is around, from fancy dress parties to encouraging others at demos and from charging mast high waves to promoting his sponsors, Tushingham, Starboard and Franklin and Marshall, Chris will always be in the thick of the action with a big grin on his face!

BEN PROFFITT

Some say he once beat Bjorn Dunkerbeck in a left handed arm wrestle and he is the only man in England to buy a DFS sofa when there was not a sale on! Some say that Ben can hypnotise sheep and he knows two facts about ducks, both of which are wrong. Some say he was the one who pulled Excalibur from the stone and that he is the rightful King of England and that if he could be bothered he could swim the Atlantic…underwater. We all know him fondly as Ben Proffitt, one of the UK’s most talented wave sailors and PWA commentator extraordinaire. Never stuck for a word to say, Ben is one of those rare people with the confidence to go on camera and deliver his obvious passion for windsurfing seemingly on auto pilot. While many know him these days for those uncanny skills in the commentary box and his infamous ‘training diaries’ don’t forget Ben is a British champion, talented PWA competitor and of course the PWA Poland slalom indoor champion. Always up for the craic and ever supportive of events at every level, Ben is undoubtedly of the UK’s most valuable and prized windsurfing assets.

JEM HALL

Some might say that Jem is afraid of bells and that if you tune into 104mw you can hear his thoughts. Some say that he is banned from Tesco’s on Hayling Island and that he wears a wetsuit with built in six pack armour. Some say he sleeps with an RRD Firemove in his bed at weekends and never wakes up on Wednesdays. We like to think of Jem Hall as the ‘Mr Motivator’ of UK windsurfing. Jem’s philosophy on life is to deal with and overcome problems and never be negative or give up when faced with hurdles in life. His energy, passion and love of windsurfing is second to none and the fact he wants to share this enthusiasm with his clients help make his courses remarkably popular and successful. A master at bringing out the best in people, Jem’s infectious personality has helped thousands of sailors to improve their windsurfing skills and feel like champions.

ROSS WILLIAMS

Some say he won the lottery without buying a ticket and he only eats with a knife. Some say that he has a secret cupboard in his van full of cheese and onion crisps and that his tattoos on his right arm are there to cover up an original Tattoo of his own face.  Some might say that he once had his shorts ripped off whilst surfing Jaws and had to crawl back on the jet-ski naked and that he charged thirty foot waves at the Cribbar having downed 10 pints of 6% Rattler Cider the night before. Brought up on the beaches of the Isle of Wight, windsurfing and surfing with his dad and brothers, Ross Williams has never been far away from the water ever since he first stepped into the straps of his first board. Multi-talented, Ross is not only one of the best wave sailors in the world but is also a formidable force in slalom and formula racing. Ross is now spending winters at home in the UK, promoting Gaastra and Tabou and constantly on the hunt for the most radical conditions.

JAMIE HANCOCK

Some say he still supports Portsmouth Football club even though they have not won for the past seven years and that there is an airport in Morocco named after him. Some say that he once stood between a raging Pompey fan about to throttle John Carter after celebrating a Chelsea goal in the heart of the Fratton End and pretended to have no association with his long term friend. Some have even said he demands a front cover from our editorial crew every month without fail and he eats wasps for breakfast. Jamie or ‘Mini George’ is one of the unsung heroes of UK windsurfing. Twice British Champion, Winner of Tiree and member of the infamous Motley Crew, Jamie loves to spend time in the UK exploring and discovering new places. He is not bad behind the lens and on the edit desk either. A man of many hidden talents, shame he supports Pompey really!

WINDSURF MAGAZINE

It is not often we blow our own trumpet here at Windsurf; but we have been around for three decades and 334 issues so I think it is fair to say that we have done our bit to help promote our sport, our characters and show off the fantastic locations around our country. Rumour has it that Windsurf’s spell checker was a redesigned version of an Enigma Code breaker that developed a glitch when Dave White tampered with it on one of his early visits to the office in the late eighties. We can thank Graeme Fuller for the first ever issue of Windsurf back in 1980, but it wasn’t long before Mark Kasprowiz took over the reins with Peter Hart joining the team at the same time. Harty’s first article was on ‘post sailing moustache grooming tips’ although rumour has it he is about to shock the windsurf world with his 278th technique piece about how to get in the footstraps!

THE PUB

Where would we be without the Bucket of Blood in Hayle, The Tiree Lodge, Spillanes in Ireland (yes we know it is in Southern Ireland but we wish they would open one in Britain !), The Inn on the beach at Hayling or the Old House at home in Witterings. What better place to head après sailing than a traditional British Pub. That roaring log fire, the horse brasses on the old wooden beams, that oldieworldly flagstone floor and that mouth-watering pint of ‘Ye Old Thumper’ as you send texts to all your mates who weren’t at the beach about that triple back loop attempt you almost nailed. The boozer is where us Brits often brainstorm and come up with our best ideas; it is a vital part of our heritage and a cornerstone of British traditions.

BRITISH BRANDS

Everyone has owned or sailed a Tushie right? Tushingham Sails can be seen on the water at just about every beach in the UK on any given windy day. They do just what they say on the tin, quality, no nonsense build and marketing, attention to detail and excellent performance. They have been in the business over thirty years and given thousands of hours pleasure to the UK windsurfing fraternity, well done Roger and Dave! Spartan began making wetsuits way back in 1958 so with half a century of knowledge under their neoprene we think it is fair to say they know their stuff pretty darn well. With the likes of Peter Hart, Chris Muzza Murray and Zara Davies on their team, the crew at Spartan benefit from tried and tested feedback to constantly improve their already outstanding wetsuit range. All r&d is done in our home waters and Spartan strive to make wetsuits that are warm, flexible and made with the best possible materials and construction techniques. Holy Cow! Moo Custom Boards are making some great designs right here in the UK and are built to your very own specifications. Run and owned by passionate sailors who care about the sport, each board is made with epoxy glass and carbon and vacuumed at every stage in the build program.

TAKING THE PISS

Peter Hart “The British tradition I treasure the most is our penchant for taking the piss. Where other nations like to big up their friends, associate with success and bathe in reflected glory, the Brits (well the ones I associate with at least) seek out your shortcomings and that is the means by which you are identified. It’s not mean if someone takes the piss, it means they’re comfortable in your company. There’s no posturing. Taking the piss is a great leveller. The day any of my windsurfing friends say something nice about me is the day I book myself into a home!”

BAKED BEANS ON TOAST

The fridge is empty, the cupboards are bare but there is always a tin of beans and a couple of crusts left in the bread bin. Heinz are pretty much the ‘Rolls Royce’ of Baked Beans and a staggering 1.5 million cans are sold in the UK every day! Beans are cheap, contain good nutrition and are high in fibre, protein and vitamins. Grate a bit of cheese on top and ‘ooh la la’ the perfect meal after a tough day on the water.

AFTERNOON TEA

Cup of tea and a custard cream? Ooh yes please. Imagine life without a decent brew first thing in the morning or last thing at night. Even out of a polystyrene cup out of that skanky beach hut at your local break there is no better common ground where a bunch of sailors can warm up and converse during a break in sailing than over a decent cuppa (even if it’s a cheap tea bag squeezed into three week old boiling water from a rusted tea urn!). At the higher end of the scale we recommend Yorkshire Tea but only if it is drunk from pure china tea cups and brewed in a warmed tea pot for three minutes and 18 seconds!

THE ROYALS

God save our gracious Queen, yes we still love her despite her obsession with Corgis, horses and wearing ridiculous hats!. Some might say they cost us taxpayers a fortune but how could we possibly live without an occasional Royal Wedding or the traditional Queens speech every Christmas and besides Prince Charles once tried windsurfing !

FISH AND CHIPS

You are rushing back after that extra hour on the water and the wife has texted two hours ago to pick up dinner on your way home. There is no time to cook up roast beef and Yorkshire puddings but the good old fish and chip shop will get you out of jail. Oh Cod! Close your eyes and imagine the taste of that deep fried greasy batter as you work your way through to the healthy bit inside? Come on admit it, we all know it’s the naughty bits that are the nicest; throw in a couple of sausages in batter and go large on the chips, salt and vinegar and you’ll guarantee to have blown your diet for the next few weeks. Health and fatty issues aside, fish and chips is one of those treats that is one of the foundations of the British diet and on the way back from sailing it’s a quick and easy way to feed yourself after a three hour session at your local break. Shame they don’t wrap them in newspaper anymore!

THE NATIONAL WINDSURFING FESTIVAL

Let’s hail two birds with one stone here; praise must go to ex-army Alan Cross for coming up with this vision to bring British sailors and industry together under one united banner ‘The National Water sports Festival’. Where else would we have ever been treated to the sight of three hundred windsurfers charging head on into the Hayling shore-dump and all getting simultaneously demolished. Simon Bornhoft even treated the crowd to a thirty minute solo display determined to beat that ‘Hayling rinser’ with fellow instructors Guy Cribb, Peter Hart, Jim Collins and Jem Hall all cheering him on from the beach as their fellow compatriot received the pounding of all poundings. If you fancy an event where you can party on down, learn from the best and charge into carnage with over several hundred like-minded windsurf addicts then get on down to NWF and enjoy the best Windsurfing event in Britain.

THE BWA TOUR

From the stunning beaches of West Wales, across to the pounding waves on the Irish Atlantic coast, up and over by ferry to the remote island of Tiree and finishing off at ‘Gwithians’ one of England’s most consistent beach breaks, the BWA wave sailing tour really does deliver the full package.

Youths, masters, amateurs, ladies and of course any aspiring pros are all more than welcome, its all good friendly fun where you can rub shoulders with the stars as well as the chance to make a name for yourself on one of the most competitive windsurfing tours in the world.

WALES

It’s a tenner to cross over the Severn Bridge but they let you out for free. Once across the border then there are endless reefs, beaches and point breaks awaiting in some of the most scenic coastline in the country. From the Gower to the Pembrokeshire Coast all the way up to wind ravaged Rhosniegr you’ll find some of the best wave sailing and freeriding conditions in the country and you might even bump in to locals Phil Horrocks or Ben Proffitt and then you really will see an amazing show on the water.

OUR BEAUTIFUL COASTLINE

Over the past five years we’ve sent John Carter on a mission to visit virtually every single nook and cranny round the British Isles for our Coast series. Amongst missing countless planes, trains and ferries, he’s managed to take the odd snap here and there of our beautiful shores while also testing out boozers and looking for his lost keys. We mentioned at the beginning of this feature Britain is no Hawaii, but our varied coastline serves up waves, speed strips and bump and jump conditions to suit every level of sailor. From stunning chalk cliffs to sweeping dunes on Atlantic beaches, blistering speed strips, jumping playgrounds, slabs, point breaks and reefs; we really do cover all angles of windsurfing with some incredible scenery to boot.

CORNWALL

From Gwithians, synonymous with down the line wave sailing in the UK, to the stunning beaches of Marazion and Daymer Bay, Cornwall really does boast some amazing conditions and locations for the UK windsurfer. Anytime a low pressure hits the UK it’s a pretty safe bet to head to the West Country to top up on your wind and wave fixation. Throw in a few pints of Doonbar at a traditional Cornish pub, a pasty or fish and chips and you have the best of British all served up in one.

KIRBY

Who needs a man made trench in the middle of nowhere in Namibia when there is already one ready to roll just outside Liverpool. On its day, even in a force 13 gale, this mirror flat runway of almost transparent turquoise water is the most deadly speed venue on the planet. Throw in a couple of dodgy scousers who will leave your trusty van up on bricks and you could end up stuck there for weeks; you can’t ask for more than that can you ?

THE WITTERINGS

One of the stalwarts of UK windsurfing, the Witterings, have been one of the favourite locations on the south coast for many years. Set in unspoiled rural bliss, the range of conditions run from bump and jump to cross off wave sailing when a north westerly blows. Members of the WWWC (West Wittering Windsurfing Club) can benefit from a clubhouse, hot showers, hire packages, tuition and jet-ski rescue from March to October. Don’t be surprised to see the likes of Nik Baker, Jem Hall, Peter Hart or Timo Mullen flying around if it’s a classic Witterings forecast, anything from the south west force six round to the north west with a ground swell and its game on with pretty much guaranteed waves and a perfect windsurfing playground.

MAGICAL MYSTICAL IRELAND

Yes we know strictly speaking the Atlantic beaches of Ireland lie outside the realms of what is technically Britain but it is our magazine so we can bend the rules here and then when we want !. From the majestic Dingle Peninsula, to the wild winds of Belmullet or the stunning reefs and beach breaks of Magheroarty, Ireland can certainly deliver the goods for world class wave sailing along with amazing culture, scenery and ever changing weather. It is not unusual to experience four seasons in a day on the Emerald Isle but stick round long enough and you are sure to score some amazing uncrowded conditions. Follow up your session with a few pints of the black stuff and you’ll soon realize why Ireland is such a magical location and such a popular destination for UK windsurfers.

NORTH EAST

The location of some of the sacred reefs in the North East are best left out of this feature. There is gold to be found if you look hard enough. Enough said!

TIREE

The famous shores of this stunning Scottish island play host to Britain’s longest running wave event, the Tiree Wave Classic. Careers have been launched by winning the coveted trophies and swords, while the legendary nightlife is second to none. With beaches facing every direction on the compass, Tiree has all angles covered and also happens to be the sunniest place in the country, a UK treasure and a must do for any British windsurfer.

SHOREKIPA

We heard Robby Naish has been thinking of moving to the UK so he can ride the infamous waves at Shorekipa. Home to the gnarliest shore dump on the south coast at high tide on a force nine gale. It’s Nik Bakers home patch and where he learnt to be one of the world’s best. He even has his own beach hut there and it just goes to show what is possible if you’re a young aspiring sailor with dreams of making it to the top, you can do it and all from the comfort of your local British beach.

TRIVIA AND FUNNY STUFF

And so we finish this tribute to the Best of British with a few fun facts and figures, the sort of borderline intellectual trivia that our country thrives on. We’re all off now for a cup of tea and digestive biscuit before we hit the beach and then some Pie and Chips followed by a game of scrabble down the British Legion afterwards if we’re lucky ! Cheers from all the windsurf crew! Henry and Joyce Blackwell who live in Church Flats Farm in Derbyshire are slightly unlucky. They live at the furthest possible point in the UK from the Sea, around 70 miles!

The strongest wind ever recorded in the UK was 173mph on Cairngorm Summit on 20 March 1986. The phrase ‘rule of thumb’ is derived from an old English law which stated you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. In 1647 parliament abolished Christmas. No words in the English language rhyme with orange, purple, month or silver. In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes which could be tightened to make the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase; ‘Goodnight, sleep tight!’

In Chester you can only shoot a Welsh person inside the city walls with a bow and arrow after midnight. The military salute comes from Medieval knights raising there visors to see each other. East Peckham in Kent has a unique claim to fame: it’s where the first-ever speeding ticket was issued, in January 1896. Walter Arnold was spotted doing 8mph in a 2mph zone, but was easily apprehended by a policeman riding a bicycle.  The last ‘witches’ to be hanged in Britain were three women from Bideford in Devon, in 1682. There was no evidence against them, but other villages accused them of sending the devil to their enemies’ houses, in the form of a magpie and a tabby cat.  JC

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