In the fall of 2002, when I was 25, some unusual things started happening to me. The hair on top of my head starting thinning a bit and I developed a small bald patch on one of my eyebrows. It was a little strange, but I ignored it and figured it was nothing. Days later, I woke up in the morning and realized that one of my arms didn’t have any hair on it at all! It freaked me out. I thought, “That is not normal.”
So I went to see my dermatologist. He did what’s called a “pull test,” where he gently pulled on the hair on my head and counted how many strands came out. Then he did a biopsy of my scalp and examined it under a microscope. Finally, I got my diagnosis: alopecia, a type of hair loss that’s considered an autoimmune condition. It happens when the immune system mistakenly attacks and kills healthy body tissue. (Lose up to 25 pounds in two months—and look more radiant than ever—with Prevention’s new Younger In 8 Weeks plan!)
There are three different types of alopecia. There is alopecia areata, where you get patches of hair loss, usually on top of your head. There is alopecia totalis, where you lose all the hair on your head and typically some on your face, too (eyebrows, eyelashes). And then there is the most severe kind, alopecia universalis, which is the loss of all body hair (including arm hair, leg hair, etc.)—and, unfortunately, that’s the kind that I have.
RELATED: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Alopecia
Grieving a Loss
Growing up, my hair was long, chestnut brown, and gorgeously thick. This was the last thing that I thought would ever happen. After my diagnosis, I went through the standard stages of loss. In the beginning, I was in complete denial. I thought: “No way. This isn’t happening to me.” After all, I was a hair girl! I was the kind of person who spent two hours on her hair each day, curling it and taking care of it. I figured: “It’ll grow back.”
I tried a lot of different treatments, like steroid injections in my scalp and PUVA therapy (a type of ultraviolet light therapy). I probably spent $6,000 to $7,000 trying to grow my hair back. But nothing helped, and, sadly, there is no cure. I started losing the hair on my head from front to back—at one point, I looked like the comedian Gallagher!
Once the hair loss on my head became noticeable to others I needed a wig, so I was forced to come to terms with my diagnosis and accept it, even though that was hard. (Looking back, my first wig was terrible. It looked so phony. I didn’t know what I was doing.) I was working full-time while this was happening, and whenever co-workers asked me what was going on, I told them the truth. Talking about it was a little uncomfortable, but what felt worse was that most people just pulled away from me. Maybe they were afraid or didn’t know what to say. I understand that, but I wish those people would have talked to me about it—instead they probably talked behind my back, and that hurt. But my family members and friends were incredibly supportive and I was able to lean on them when I felt down.
Within three months I had lost all the hair on my body. For at least eight years, I was bald all over. It was like Chernobyl. Then, a few years ago, some eyelashes and leg hair started growing back a little bit. Sometimes a patch of hair will come back, and then fall out again, and then come back again. Though doctors aren’t sure why, some people who have alopecia experience full hair regrowth and others don’t. My case is so advanced that I just have to accept that the vast majority of my hair is probably not coming back.
RELATED: Why The Heck Is My Hair Falling Out?
Fake Hair, Don’t Care
I’m not sure exactly why I developed alopecia. I was likely born with a genetic predisposition to developing autoimmune disorders, because I also have Crohn’s disease, an autoimmune disorder that affects the digestive system.
It hasn’t been an easy road. When I was first diagnosed I was still trying to date, and a lot of guys were really cool about it. But I had hang-ups. I thought: “Nobody is ever going to marry me.” I became obsessive about my appearance. Since I couldn’t control my hair loss, I tried to control the way my body looked. I got a nose job. My anxiety turned into an eating disorder. I was counting calories and over-exercising to a point where it became destructive. I struggled with food for about eight years and it broke up my first marriage.
But I went to professional counseling and found help through a private Yahoo support group. I also started going to an annual conference for people with alopecia, so I got to meet others who were struggling with the same issues. It was a glorious experience, going to a hotel and seeing all those bald heads! I grow strength every time I go to one. I have learned that I’m not alone.
I eventually found a way out of my disordered eating by following the paleo diet. And I learned from other people with alopecia how to find the best wigs. I now have a fancy one that costs about $500 and is made of human hair. It’s amazing. I can put it in a bun, hot roll it, straighten it, or whatever. You can’t even tell that it’s a wig. I also learned how to draw in my eyebrows and now I get them tattooed on. I even found a great guy and we’re engaged. He loves me and doesn’t care about my alopecia.
I’m 39 now, and I feel so much more confident about my condition. Today, I can go to the gym without a wig. Wearing one makes you so sweaty and hot when you’re working out; it’s so impractical. When I show off my bald head, most people think I have cancer and come up and tell me about someone they know who has the disease. I try to be nice, but sometimes that’s annoying, the fact that people assume that. I want to yell, “I’m not sick!” But I love that I can be bald in public and not care. Once you can jump that mental hurdle that holds you back, you can do anything you want to do.
Source link
Related Posts:
You've Got to See What Happened to This…
Alopecia Areata May Require Change in Diet
Possible Causes Of Hair Loss In Women – Can Stress…
These Cute Hairstyles Are Making Some Women Go Bald
Hair Loss – Can Changing Your Diet Promote Hair…