RELATED: 12 Daily Habits of Super-Happy Couples
1. They Sleep an Inch or Less Apart
Turns out there are some scientific benefits to spooning (and not splurging on that California queen): Researchers from University of Hertfordshire found that 94 percent of couples who touched or nearly touched while snoozing reported being happy in their relationship. (Meanwhile, only 68 percent of couples that sleep with distance between them reported a happy bond.)
2. They Sleep an Inch or Less Apart
We could all use a little positive reinforcement, says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great. “Many couples only talk about what’s wrong in their relationship, but research has found that couples who focus on what’s working are much happier over time than those who try to purely ‘fix’ their problems.” Sex good? Communication on point? Make a list of the top five things going well with you and your partner and focus on strengthening those aspects, says Orbuch.
RELATED: 11 Things Happy Couples Never Do
3. They Show Simple Acts of Kindness
Expensive jewelry, exotic vacations, elaborate surprise parties—that stuff is all awesome. But grand romantic gestures aren’t as valuable as little acts of love (like watching your bf’s favorite show or bringing him coffee in bed) when it comes to nurturing a relationship, according to research from the Open University.
“Research has found that couples who focus on what’s working are much happier over time than those who try to purely ‘fix their problems.'”
4. They Have Sex At Least Once a Week
This could either stress you out or make you do a happy dance: A study in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that getting it on once a week leads to the most happiness in a relationship—and increasing your romps to once a week is equal to the delight one would feel from a $50,000 salary boost! (Kudos to couples who knock boots more often than that, but according to this study the extra credit won’t make you any happier.)
5. They Knock Each Other Off Balance
Shower, work, workout, dinner, sleep, repeat. Routine is great for getting us out the door in the morning, but not so hot for your relationship. “You’ve got to get out of your rut to keep the excitement and passion going, and research shows the best way to do this is through small changes that upset your routine,” says Orbuch. Throw some unusual date nights, classes, or tandem gym sessions into the mix—novel experiences release the bonding chemical oxytocin in the brain.
RELATED: Married Couples Eventually Become Each Other—Literally
6. They Give Each Other the Benefit of the Doubt
“To stay committed you’ve got to believe the other’s person’s intentions are good—forgetting to pick something up from the grocery store isn’t a personal affront to you, the truth is they probably just forgot,” says relationship expert Suzanne Lachmann, Psy.D. “Everything else, whether you’re having a heated discussion or full-on fighting, will feel much more civilized (and not about one-upping each other) if you honestly believe your partner has your best interests at heart.”
“You’ve got to get out of your rut to keep the excitement and passion going, and research shows the best way to do this is through small changes that upset your routine.”
7. They Shower Together
Conserve water and strengthen your bond? We’re in. A survey published in the Journal of Sex Research found that sexually satisfied men and women were more likely to scrub up together. (Steamy makeout sesh optional.)
8. They Set Realistic Expectations
Raising the bar is always good. But setting crazy demands (like expecting him to know how you’re feeling on the inside at all times) will likely cause your relationship to suffer, according to a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. In other words, fix marital problems that need to be fixed, and try to let those impossible expectations go.
RELATED: Here’s How Often the Happiest People in America Go Out and Have Sex
9. They Put Down the Screens
A study published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking found that avid Facebook users often experience poor relationship outcomes; meanwhile, a survey from OkCupid revealed that frequent tweeters have shorter relationships. Nothing wrong with getting your social media kicks, but just make sure you talk to each other, too.
5. They Compliment Each Other
‘Amazing pic.’ ‘You slayed this pasta.’ ‘You’re crushing it at work.’ Complimenting each other is easy peasy, and we should do it more, says Orbuch. “Lots of couples make the mistake of waiting for special occasions like birthdays or holidays to express their feelings, but making your partner feel special and noticed regularly (she found this is true especially for men) makes for a more happy and stable couple over time.”
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