I wrote a story last year about my husband being HIV+ in May, here is the link if you missed it http://bit.ly/17qIs3C.
We just had faith that he would be healed so we continued in having unprotected sex since we wanted children. Everyone was expecting me to be pregnant but nobody knew the war I was fighting about health issues. I am still not pregnant after 1 year of marriage and we haven’t checked our HIV status since then. I am 32 and he is 36, I look way younger than my age, and when I walk down the street, I still get cat-calls from guy which means I am not ugly. I am a graduate with no job and he is a graduate too. He doesn’t even have a stable job, he helps his sisters and in laws run their official and personal errands and they give him money for us to manage,our house rent becomes a problem every now and then at just 200,000 in a suburb area.
Our sex life is great, but my husband visits porn sites on my old blackberry phone. When the battery dies, he uses my new blackberry phone. He sleeps early from 9pm after dinner, and when he wakes up early in the morning, it is either he wants sex or he is watching porn sites in the internet at the sitting room which he always denies or deletes so I won’t find out, but I always catch him because of the ear piece he puts in his ear, so he doesn’t hear my footsteps when I wake up. I am a worker in my church and I believe pornography is bad. He had a lot of porn cds before marriage but I threw all of them away. Now he knows a lot of porn websites by heart.
He left the house yesterday morning and told me to charge the phone before he comes back home, but his sim wasn’t inside, I checked through the browsing history as usual and then I discovered he just registered for a new dating site. I used the link and opened it with my phone. I went through his profile and discovered he wants to date girls from 20-30 years and they should reside in the state where we stay. He put his name and age too. He registered with a new g-mail address, which I didn’t know of. I was shocked and couldn’t even finish the lunch I was eating. I changed the password of his profile and changed his location to another state and then I clicked on meeting boys. I quickly dressed up and deleted all that needed to be deleted and sold the phone. He didn’t scold me for too long anyway because he knows it is my phone. I am scared because he might buy another phone with internet and continue with his devilish acts. Right now he uses etisalat 2-sim phone.
He goes out of the house without even praying with me, I had to make our house a house fellowship centre because I wanted him to be closer to God. For 2 nights now, a man appeared in my dream to disturb my sleep, the first night he slept with me and I am actually in my period right now,last night, he was playing with my face and eyes. In my dream, this man lies down in the position my husband lies down on our bed. I joined in the prayer and fasting going on in my church from now till April.
I forgot to include that he smokes and drink a lot. He reduced his drinking before we got married and stopped smoking, but now, it is either my match boxes reduce in the kitchen, I see a used match stick in the toilet, room his car, or his shirt smells badly. He always love to stay at a guest house across our house because all the bar men there are his friends. Sometimes, he stays there for hours and claims he is watching football matches. I just want to believe that is where he got HIV from. Lately, he screams over every little money I use for the house keep. He is tempting me to sleep with married men for money. My former boss where I had my NYSC, keeps calling me for dates and he sends money to my account when I get broke because I can’t ask friends or family for money. I call him when I feel like committing suicide but I can’t go to a hotel now cos I am married.
Should I confront him about the dating site? Am I destined to die with HIV in my marriage? Should I tell my family and his family about his HIV status and cheating online?
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