I’m soooooo sorry it took so long. It wasn’t my fault though, I promise.
This is smut so if you’re not into that I’d advice you to not read this. There’s really not much else to it.
“Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim
and your hands are shaking as you’re sliding off your dress?”
Title Credit : Lying is the most fun … - Panic! At The Disco
“ what do we do now ? ”
“ Uh … I don’t know to be honest. ”
“ Do I … do we … what are you wearing ?! ”
Was he for real ?
“ Seriously Zack THAT is the best thing you can come up with ? ”
I could hear him grunting through the phone and knew he was getting annoyed with me. Could you blame me though ? This wasn’t working, at all.
It’s been almost 2 months since I’ve seen my boyfriend. And trust me it was hard. Sure when you start dating a band member you kinda know what you’re in for. But the first time you actually have to say goodbye to them and watch them leave for a tour on the complete other side of the earth, then you REALLY understand. It’s hard.
You don’t get to hold them or wake up the them or fall asleep in their arms. You don’t get to share your breakfast with them, watch silly movies with them. Nothing.
You have to settle for phone calls every now and again.
And then there’s also the topic of sex. Which, as you can imagine, is not possible when the two people are on completely different continents.
So that’s what brought us here. My boyfriend, Zack, had the glorious idea to try out phone sex. Now that might seem like a good idea for most people. I mean what could go wrong ? Getting a bit steamy over the phone, no biggie.
Well that might be the case for people who aren’t so incredibly awkward. I on the other hand am the poster child for awkward. My various embarrassing moments include asking a friend when her aunt was due only to find out she wasn’t even pregnant in the first place and face planting the ground when walking down the isle as my cousin’s bridesmaid.
So yeah, in retrospect we should’ve known this would take some time to work properly.
“ I’m sorry okay ?! Just play along and we’ll get a hang of it ”
I took a breath and tried to do as he said. Just play along. Try to imagine the tings he’s going to tell me . Try to get in the mood.
“ So … what ARE you wearing ? ” he asked and I could hear his voice going a bit more husky then before.
My eyes wandered down my body. Sweatpants and a basic tank top with tomato sauce stain from earlier. Well that’s fucking sexy isn’t it ? I couldn’t very well tell him the truth could I ?! Come on (Y/N) think of something, quick !
“ Uh … you know uh … ” awesome great start, totally not obvious. “ … a red lace bra ” okay better, I guess that’s a start.
“ And what else ? ” what else ? he expecting me to tell him what color my socks have or ?
" You going commando down there ? “ Down there ? what is this, 50 shades of gray ?!
” (Y/N) ? “
” Huh … oh uh yeah … yeaaaaah babe “
I could hear a huff coming through the phone. ” Babe, should we just let it be. This is obviously not working and I’m pretty sure you’re lying to me. You’re horrible liar by the way. Bet you’re actually in sweatpants. “ Damn, he was good.
” No, I’m not. Zack come on, I’m gonna be serious now. It’s just … weird “
” It’s not weird babe, lots of people do it “
Yeah but lots of people aren’t as awkward as I am.
Zack let out another deep breath and as much as I wished, it wasn’t from sexual arousal, it him showing me he was a bit annoyed.
” Look (Y/N), I’ll have to be at soundcheck in a bit anyway so let’s just try this again another time alright ? How about tonight ? “
” Tonight ? uh … I’m sorry babe, it’s Paige’s birthday and she invited us girls out to the bar and you know how she gets … “
Zack wasn’t to fond of Paige, I knew this and I felt a little bad for going out with her and letting him deal with the sexual frustration on his own, but Paige was my friend after all and I couldn’t just ditch her on her birthday, not because my boyfriend and I were horny. You don’t do that shit.
" Yeah (Y/N), whatever. ”
“ Zaaaaack, come on babe. It’s her birthday. ”
“ Yeah and she’s just gonna talk shit about me, like she always does. And make you feel down, like she always does. Why do you even bother with her ? I don’t get it. ”
He was right, kind of. Paige was a very specific person. If you didn’t know her will she quickly came off as rude and out-there. She was very nice deep inside though, under all those layers of sarcasm and ignorance.
“ Because we’ve been friends since forever. Listen Zack, I gotta get ready but I promise you we’ll give this another go tomorrow, ok ? I love you babe. ”
“ Mhhh… ” I heard him grumble.
“ Zack, come on say it back. ”
He took another breath “ Love you too. Bye babe. ”
“ Talk to you tomorrow, bye. ”
And with that we hung up, both even more frustrated than before, sexually and in general.
_________________________________
The club was buzzing with electricity. People were grinding against each other and having the time of their lives. And I ? I was sulking, because as much as I liked partying, I’d rather party with my boyfriend.
“ Come on (Y/N) lighten up. You’re wearing a sexy dress, you look the bomb. Please at least try to have some fun ” Paige approached me as she handed out brightly colored drinks to me and the rest of the girls.
“ I know, I know. Sorry Paige. I’m just really missing Zack lately. ”
I could see her roll her eyes and that didn’t sit right with me at all. They didn’t know what it felt like having to watch your loved one leave you over and over again for months on end. Of course I didn’t hold it against him, it was his job, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard. The girls would never understand until they’ve been there.
“ How are things between you guys ? ” My other friend Sam asked from beside me.
“ Uh … good. I miss him a lot but we try to talk as often as possible. ”
“ That’s nice. You two really are a cute couple ”
Paige once again couldn’t keep her mouth shut and left out a chuckle that was anything but amused. It was more of a scoff really.
Calm down, (Y/N). She’s just jealous.
“ What about … uh … you know. The sex and stuff ? ” Sam asked and I could see the red tint on her cheeks, she was the complete opposite of Paige, how we all ended up being friends, I will never know.
“ Well, that’s obviously a bit tricky. We … we wanted to try phone sex earlier but that just ended in a disaster. We’re both too awkward for that I think. But it really does suck, we’re both super sexually frustrated.”
” Hmmm … Both, I’m sure “ Paige scoffed again and our other friend Maggie lightly nudged her arm.
Okay, this was enough, what was her deal ?
” Paige, what is your problem ? “
” Nothing really, I just don’t want you to get hurt. “
What ?!
” Why would I get hurt ? “
She raised her eyebrow like it was obvious what she wanted to say.
” Babe, he’s in a band. He’s touring the world and girls throw themselves at his feet. If he doesn’t get it from you he’s going to get it from someone else. You might want to step up your game if you wanna keep the guy. “
Wow, this was like a punch in the face. This girl was supposed to be my friend. She was supposed to have my back and get rid of all my insecurities with me. Instead she put thoughts in my head I never wanted to think about, ever.
” That’s not true. Paige stop it “ Sam tried to intervene.
” No, no it’s true. I can’t sugarcoat it for (Y/N), that’s the way things go. Either you give it to him or he’ll get it somewhere else. He’s got it right in front of his face, he just gonna reach out and grab it. “
That’s too much. Zack would never do that and I wouldn’t sit here and listen to her disrespect my boyfriend.
” Ok Paige that’s enough. I’m gonna go now. You’re incredibly rude and you have no idea what you’re talking about. Fuck you. “
It might’ve been her birthday but that didn’t give her the right to be so disrespectful.
I got my coat, hailed a cab and left, hoping desperately that Zack didn’t have plans tonight.
I gripped the bottle of red wine in one hand and held onto my phone with the other.
Quite a bit of the alcohol had already found it’s way into my body and I was admittedly a bit tipsy but to too drunk. I still had control over my body, only my tongue was a bit more relaxed in this state.
Still my nerves were working on overdrive. What if Paige was right ? What if Zack really looked for sex somewhere else since I fucked up earlier today, he was quite pissed off when we hung up.
Bullshit, Zack loves you.
I could almost see the angel and devil raging inside me about whether or not to let Paige’s words get to me. The buzz of my phone put them on mute for a moment.
It was a text from no other than Zack himself. 4 words followed by 2 kisses and his name.
” I love you, Baby. xx Zack “
That was all it took to set my mind at ease for the moment.
With shaky fingers I dialed his number and on the 3rd ring, a husky ” hello “ sounded through the phone.
” Hey Zack “
” Hi babe, had a good night ? “
” Not really but that’s not what this is about. You gonna listen to me now okay ? Are you alone ? “
Zack hesitated a moment before answering. ” Uh, yeah ? Why ? "
“ Good, then make sure it stays that way. Lean back relax, take of your shirt. ”
“ Wait, (Y/N) … are we … ?! ”
“ Yes. ”
I heard shuffling at the other side of the phone before Zack spoke up again. “ Alright, shirt is off, what about yours ? ”
Once again I looked down my body, just like I did earlier today, only now I was much more self confident. Thank you, Red Wine.
“ I’m not wearing a shirt. I’m wearing a dress. The black one you bought me for my birthday last year. The one that you really like. ”
“ The tiny one ? ”
“ mhhh… ”
“ I’m not sure if I like the idea of you wearing that without me to protect you from horny guys. ”
“ Well … you want me to take it off ? ”
“ God yes ” Zack said and I could hear in his voice that he was getting turned on.
I did as he said and stripped the dress off my body. It didn’t feel nearly as nice as when he undressed me and I was still nervous and a bit uncomfortable but at the same time is was exciting and adventurous.
My hands felt cold on my skin and I could feel goose bumps rising all over my arms and legs. Maybe I had just needed to get into the right mindset to do this.
“ Alright, it’s off. How about your pants follow ? ”
He chuckled and it made my heart miss a beat. His laugh, his happiness, was my happiness.
“ Yup, they’re off. Hey babe, are you sure you wanna do this ? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or do this because you feel like you need to do it for me. I love you regardless. And I’ll be fine waiting for sex until I come back home. ”
My heart stared beating faster than ever before. I knew Paige was wrong. Zack loved me. He would never intentionally hurt me or do something to jeopardize our relationship.
“ Zack ? ”
“ Hmm ? ”
“ I love you too … and also I’m in my lace underwear, for real this time and I really miss your touch. I love when you touch my boobs, I love when you start of real slow. ”
As the words left my lips, I moved my fingertips slowly over the top of my boobs, just where the bra cups stopped. A soft tingle shot through my body and I let out a deep breath, slightly exaggerating for Zack’s sake.
“ Babe … you should totally take of your bra. ”
“ Should I ? ” I asked cheekily.
“ Definitely. ”
“ Alright then. ”
I did just that. Quickly unclasped my bra behind my back and let it fall down my body. Comfort took over my body.
“ You naked ? ”
“ Bra’s off ”
“ Niiiice, baby girl how about you palm those boobs of yours nice and thoroughly. Just like I do. Imagine it’s my hands. My touch meeting your skin, my warmth heating your body. ”
I let my hands wander my upper body, trying to picture it being Zack instead of myself. With every touch I got more and more into the right mindset. It felt a warm feeling spread through me, slowly but surely.
“ When did you become the one to be in charge ? ” I asked, my voice laced with lust “ … also please never call me Babygirl ever again. ”
Zack’s laugh sounded through the phone. “ Ok got it. ”
“ Zack … are you touching yourself ? Are you thinking about me touching you. Licking down your body. Taking you in my mouth. Letting my hands play with your balls. Sucking your dick, just the way you love it. ”
Wow, where did that come from ? I wasn’t that filthy usually. Who’s this dirty person and where is my usually shy self gone ?!
“ Oh god (Y/N), fucking hell. ”
Okay real talk. Is there anything hotter than guys moaning ? Than your boyfriend moaning ? Moaning YOUR name ? I hardly doubt it.
I felt a warm tingly feeling between my legs and I knew I had to get started for real or Zack would already be done by the time I’d start touching myself where it really mattered.
Slowly I trailed my hand downwards.
“ God Zack I wish it was your hands moving down my body. My tits, my stomach … my thighs ” as I spoke I let my fingers follow my words.
“ Where else ? ”
“ Let me get my panties out the way and I’ll let you know. I’d love for you to be here and take them off me with your teeth. That’s so fucking hot. Oops … there they go. ” with a quick movement I got rid of the last piece of fabric I was still wearing. “ I’d love to have you place soft needy kisses up and down my thighs. It makes me crazy, you know ? I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. When I tell you to stop and that I don’t like it when you tease me, that’s a lie. I love it. It turns me on so bad. ” My fingers drew slow circles between my legs, goose bumps now taking over every inch of skin covering my body.
“ You wanna know a secret of mine in return ? ” Zack asked, his voice was a mere whisper, laced with lust and excitement.
“ Yeah … oh god. ” I couldn’t suppress the moans slipping out from my lips as pleasure took over.
“ I know you love it. And I love it too. Almost as much as going down on you. You’re always so responsive, so passionate. I love it, i love you … oh fuck. ”
I repeat myself : Guy moans are fucking hot !
“ What are you doing babe ? Are you jacking off ? Do you imagine my hand instead of yours, huh Zack ? ”
“ God fucking hell, yeah I do ”
“ What do you miss, baby ? ” My fingers started to move faster, fueled by my boyfriends desperate breaths.
“ Your lips. ”
“ What else ? ”
“ Your fingers. ”
“ What else ? ”
“ …. I can’t ”
Wow how the tables have turned. Look who’s awkward now.
“ Awww, Zacky baby. Are you shy ? You can’t what ? Can’t say it ? … Pussy ? Cunt ? Which one do you prefer huh ? It doesn’t matter really. As long as you can imagine it being warm and slick and … ”
“ … perfect. ” he interrupted me with his husky voice.
“ You think I’m perfect ? ” I never heard him say anything like this. I mean I knew he loved me and thought I was pretty. But perfect ?
“ Hell yes, (Y/N). So damn perfect. fuck babe we’re supposed to be dirty and kinky and instead we’re being mushy. ”
“ Zack … you have no idea how hot it is to hear you tell me that I’m perfect. I wish I could fuck you into tomorrow. God I wish you were pounding into me right now. You never fail to deliver. You always hit …. right … there …. ah oh god fuck ”
I never in a million years would’ve thought we’d actually be able to pull this off. Much less that I’d actually be so close to coming. And all he had to do was whisper sweet words into the phone and let out a moan here and there.
“ Babe you have no idea how hard I really wanna fuck you right now. So. fucking. hard. Fuck (Y/N) ”
“ Are you close baby ? ”
“ So close ”
“ Okay same. Me too. ” My breaths were deeper, shorter, more desperate and a tingling feeling started in my toes and moved up my legs, torso, arms, all the way to my fingertips.
My fingers worked their magic even more and with Zack moaning sweet nothings to me I was gone in a matter of seconds letting out a string of curses mixed with “ I love yous ” and Zack’s name.
“ Babe that was so fucking hot … I’m coming, oh fuck oh fuck. ” it was obvious that Zack was holding back loud moans. It sounded like he was gritting his teeth or biting his lip. It was exciting and hot and passionate.
After he let out a single last loud moan followed by a low soft whisper of my name, it went silent for a moment and I only heard a rustling through the phone.
“ Zack ? ”
His breathing could be heard again “ Yeah … sorry babe. Had to catch my breath ”
“ That’s okay … you good now ? ”
“ Good ?” he asked and laughed “ baby, good isn’t even close to how I feel. ”
“ well … the feeling’s mutual. ”
We were silent for another short moment letting our breathing even out a little before he spoke up again.
“ Hey (Y/N) you know you didn’t have to do this right ? I love you endlessly. ”
“ I know …. I know and I’m stupid for ever doubting it. ”
“ Yeah babe that really is stupid. But it’s okay. You know now. Aaaaand I might have a surprise for you. ”
My eyes widened and my heart started to beat a bit faster.
“ You do ? ”
“ Hmm… I might’ve managed to book a flight home for the two off days. Sooooo, you ready to relive what just happened this Friday ? Together this time ? ”
Was I ready ? You bet !