Jack Barakat 1950s AU ;)
So this is my 1000th post (and I totally didn’t mess it up with accidentally posting and then deleting something, nu uh)
Title credit : Earth Angel - The Penguins (There’s also a really nice version of this song, by Death Cab For Cutie)
Outfit
" I fell for you and I knew the vision of your love, loveliness.
I hoped and I prayed that some day I’d be the vision on your happiness.
Earth angel, earth angel: please be mine? “
Los Angeles in the 1950s, the streets were buzzing with excitement. Young, beautiful women rushing from one audition to the next in hope of becoming the next big thing. Just like Marilyn. That was the widespread motto. Just like Marilyn.
More often than not, they failed and instead of landing their first mayor movie role, they ended up in some sleazy producer’s bed or a low budget porn. While still believing they would make it to the big screen eventually.
Poor kids.
I was never one of those girls, though I did admire them greatly for their positive attitude and grand determination. No, I was never one of them. And that was partly my mother’s fault.
Now let’s not be too harsh on her, she acted the way she thought was best, and all her intentions were golden. From when I was a little girl, she raised me to perfection. She made me the perfect little housewife and mother, something I never really strived to be.
Sure I wanted to get married one day, and also have kids … but I didn’t want to invest my whole life in becoming that. I didn’t want to become my mother. I wanted to be me and I wanted to see the world and I wanted to live adventures. My mom watched me distance myself from her dream with weary eyes.
One faithful day, my older brother came with a big smile on his face and a beautiful red haired girl. Peggy.
Peggy was a bubbly girl with the sweetest personality I had ever encountered in anyone I’ve met so far. And even more than her crazy and loving personality, I was fascinated with her stories.
Stories of far of places and warm south sea beaches. Stories of fancy dinners in New York City and Breakfasts in Los Angeles.
Stories of her life as a Stewardess.
I knew then, that this was what I had longed for in my life. Adventure and excitement. A dream seeming far more reachable than a Hollywood career.
And that dream, became reality to me. That’s why I found myself sipping on a pink lemonade with far too much sugar for my liking, while watching the girls run up and down the street chasing their 15 minutes of fame.
Pan American World Airways was climbing the business ladder like no other. Not a day went by that someone didn’t talk about the fabulous All tourist class Rainbow Service. During the 1950s Pan Am was only second to Coca Cola when it came to name recognition.
Flying back then, was a magical experience. Something luxurious, glamorous even.
So when I heard they were looking for new flight attendants to stock up their team, I was on my feet and on quite a long train ride from my picturesque hometown of Beaufort, South Carolina to the Pan Am headquarter in Key West Florida.
Two weeks later, I received my own pair of shiny golden wings to pin to my uniform. I was officially a Pan Am flight attendant.
That was 2 and a half years ago. In that time I’ve been to London for a week, slept in a comfy hotel bed in Berlin, took a stroll along a Californian beach and even spent a weekend with my Brother and Peggy in Providence where they now lived. Peggy was not a flight attendant anymore. She was given the choice when my brother proposed to her.
Pan Am didn’t do married women. You had to be a pretty, neat lady with hair pined up so it didn’t reach your collar, and a bright smile on your face. Sure we were supposed to make sure the guest were fed and happy, but we were also expected to be the best kind of eye candy for the male passengers. And married women weren’t supposed to be eye candy to someone other than their husband. Married women were meant to be perfect little housewives.
Peggy chose the love for my brother over the love for her job. I was glad she did because Scott really loved her, but I was also sure that if I was ever given the choice, the guy had to be pretty special to make me chose him over my job.
That morning, when I was sitting on my hotel balcony in Los Angeles, drinking the pink lemonade while letting my thoughts wander about, I had no idea I was about to meet a certain someone who would make me question everything I thought I knew. A person, who would make me feel more alive than flying ever did, and a person who would shatter my heart into a million little pieces.
____________________________
We were up in the air for a while now and had reached full flight height. It was a rather quite flight so far. No crying kids, only little angels being content with their drawing templates and crayons. No cranky old women complaining about the air condition. No middle aged men getting a bit too handsy with us flight attendants. Flights like this made me love my job.
It was time to walk the corridor and hand out foods and drinks. Me and my coworker Cathy were in charge of the drinks, while two other girls did the food. I’ve worked with this team of girls for a while now and we had quite the routine going one which made it possible for us to serve all the passengers as quickly as possible while still paying full attention to each and every special wish.
We had reached about the middle of the isle, Cathy serving the middle row, while I turned towards the window seats. Only one of those was occupied though. There was a young man sitting there, his eyes looking out the window towards the clouds. On first glance, he looked rather relaxed and in thought, but after doing this job for quite a while, I knew he was anything but.
He kept playing with his hands and wiped them on his brown slacks from time to time.
" Sir ? " I spoke up trying to gain his attention, which I succeeded in. His turned around and looked at me nervously.
" Can I get you anything to drink sir ? " I approached him again.
It took him a while until the anxiety in his brown eyes seemed to settle and he nodded.
" Uh … Some Jameson on the rocks would be magnificent right now but I don’t suspect you have that here "
Whiskey was really not that strange of an order. Lots of people tried to pass the time on the plane with getting as much free booze out of their trip as possible, and this trip from LA to Baltimore was pretty long so I’d expect a lot more requests for alcoholic drinks later on.
" Actually, we do have that. People love to pass their time drinking … and some use it to calm their nerves " I smiled warmly at him as I noticed his cheeks blushing lightly.
" Is it that obvious ? " he asked with a sheepish grin and a raised eyebrow.
" Well you keep wiping your sweaty palms and your leg is twitching this whole time … I’d say it’s a tiny bit obvious yeah. But I’ve been working here for a while now so maybe I just have an eye for nervous passengers " I told him as I prepared his drink and placed it in front of him.
" Is it your first time flying ? " I asked, trying to make small talk and get him to relax a bit.
" Nope. I’ve already took a flight from Baltimore to Los Angeles and that was one hell of a ride. Turbulences and all that crazy stuff. Made my stomach feel real bad. But I might have to get used to this, I’ll be flying quite a bit in the future "
I could see the worry rising in his eyes once again and I knew that I had to make sure he would lose some of this fear he now held towards flying.
" Huh … well, my name is (Y/N) and I’m your loyal flight attendant today and I will make sure you have the most pleasant flight you can only imagine. If that means sitting next to you and keeping you occupied with perpetual banter then so be it. I’ll come back around after making sure everyone has their drinks. Is that fine with you ? "
He nodded and reached out his hand for me to shake, which I did. His hand was clammy but warm and in no way gross or repulsive. It felt nice.
" I’m Jack … I’d love to talk to you and … not think about my certain death on this freakin’ vehicle. You’re an actual angel miss (Y/N) "
I smiled and turned back to my cart " Well I like to believe I rightly earned myself these wings " I pointed to my wings pin, winked at him and walked on down the isle, serving the other passengers.
_________________________________
About 20 minutes later when I made sure that everyone had their drinks, I walked back towards my team and made sure to tell them I was doing damage control and keeping one of our passengers from freaking out.
" Hey there Whiskey Prince … how are the nerves holding up ? "
Jack looked up at me and his lips pulled into a small smile.
" I am better now that I have someone to keep me company. "
I reciprocated his smile and plopped down in the seat next to him.
" Is this … allowed ? I mean do you not have to stay back and make sure the food is being prepared and all that stuff ? " Jack asked me with eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
" Oh well, I’m here to make sure our passengers have a pleasant flight, no matter what it takes. And I can see YOU definitely need someone to talk to make your flight at least bearable. So here I am "
I could literally see his shoulders relax a bit and the anxiety in his eyes vanish.
" I said it before and I say it again … you’re an actual angel miss (Y/N) "
" Well thank you Mr. Jack. I feel flattered but really, this is just my job that I love doing. And if you keep flirting with me so shamelessly I might have to rethink this whole ordeal "
Jack raised an eyebrow and his smile turned into a wide smirk " Oh sweets, you think this is flirting ? Oh no. If I was flirting with you you’d know. But just for the record, if I WAS flirting with you, would I have to fear the Mister coming after me with a baseball bat ? "
I chuckled and shook my head in amusement, smooth move.
" Oh please, the only Mister in my life, is Mister Elvis Presley "
" Ugh, really ?! You’re an Elvis fan ? " Jack asked me his eyes wide, though I suppose he was trying to mock me.
" Are you not ? Isn’t everybody ? He’s a genius. He’s gonna be a legend one day. 50 years from now people will still remember his name … trust my words "
He laughed and shook his head " I don’t know. I give him … 10 years maybe "
I couldn’t blame him for that thought, many people didn’t believe that an artist could last longer than a few years before drowning in oblivion. I didn’t . I knew he was gonna be immortal.
" Well Whiskey Prince, what music are you into then ? "
" Uh … I quite enjoy Sinatra. Quite a lot actually "
" Oh Ol’blue eyes. How boring. I mean it’s nice for swaying from time to time in the arms of the right guy but it’s not for dancing .. like at all "
Jack looked at me with a warmth in his eyes " You like to dance ? "
" Oh I love to dance. I’m not very good at it, I really enjoy it though. "
" Shush you. I’m sure you’re great at it. "
" I’m not … not really. But enough about me. What about you Whiskey Prince, what do you enjoy … except for flying that is "
He laughed wholeheartedly before answering me " I really like music. That’s actually why I really need to get used to the whole flying ordeal. I just got a job as a manager and producer at an upcoming record company. Oswald Records. We’re located in Baltimore but I’m in charge of finding new talents and that means I have to travel all around the US. That’s what I’ve been in LA for. The job is not exactly my dream but … it gets the food on the table and I get to work with music. Not as a musician which is my actual dream … but It’s still fun "
" Well Mr.Jack … did you at least find a good talent in LA. The streets of Hollywood are packed with young ladies and gents only waiting to be discovered "
" I did, which means I have to take on some more flights back and forth in the near future. I’m also gonna check out some talents in New York and Chicago. More plane travels for me yay "
Gently I placed my hand on his upper arm and smiled in his direction " Maybe that means we get to enjoy each other’s company on some more flights. "
And I was right. Unknowing to me, this flight was the start of a relationship that would shake up my whole life and everything I believed in.
___________________________
The next few months, Jack Barakat was in and out of Pan Am flights around the US. He made sure to ask for me specifically every time he went on a plane and more often than not, he had the luck on actually catching a flight I was working on. It was all coincidence really but somehow it seemed that the universe wanted us to become friends.
It goes without saying, that I didn’t spend every single flight sitting next to him like I did that first time. His fear of flying got a lot better with time actually.
We did end up talking for at least a few minutes every time though. We talked about his parents and mine. We talked about his friends and how he wanted to start a band and become a famous musician. We talked about his hopes and dreams and mine … there was just one thing we didn’t talk about. One very important thing.
Today we had a flight from Baltimore to New York City and just as I had assumed, Jack was there too. He had been flying to NYC quite a lot in the past few months. Apparently he found some young guy who could sing like a canary and Jack was almost certain the boy would become a huge star in no time.
It was a rather busy flight so I didn’t have too much time to talk to Jack which made me a little sad, though I knew he’d be back on a flight sooner or later. And also I’d have a day off in New York City.
And that’s where things got a lot more complicated.
Leaving the plane today I had only one thing in mind, my day off. And not only a day off but a day off in New York City, the town that was sizzling with excitement and music. As I told Jack before, I loved dancing so that was on my agenda today. My friend Tracy and her Husband lived in the city and had a little swing and jive club that played upbeat music to dance to and some slow songs in between should I come across a lovely guy I’d like to share a sway across the dancefloor with.
I checked into my hotel and went right to getting dolled up for the night out. There was a pretty strict dress code to follow as a flight attendant, like those stupid restricting girdles we always had to wear, or the rules that said that we had to pin up our hair at all times.
So it was a really nice thing to let my hair down for once (both metaphorically and literally). I curled the end to perfection and even adorned my head with one of my fake rose hair clips.
My eyeliner was showing a perfect wing and I happily applied the cherry red lipstick my mother gave me for my 18th birthday. The shark bait, is what she called it. ” Men are so easily tricked love, they see red lips and they think they see an angel rise. Use it carefully dear “ she told me as she handed the lipstick over. Oh she was so right. But I knew how to show those men, who was the shark and who was the bait.
I stepped out of my hotel room, dressed in a beautiful black and white polka dot swing dress and my black and white heeled shoes . And I felt pretty, like a princess. And I felt sexy, like a slightly more innocent version of Bettie Page. This was bound to be a good night.
As I entered the lobby of my hotel, my eyes wandered over to the other set of stairs and on the last step of those stairs, stood none other, than my favorite passenger.
" Hello Mr. Jack " I approached him and he looked up at me in surprise.
" Angelface … hello. What a pleasure to meet you here. What are you doing here though ? "
I might’ve blushed a bit at his silly little nickname for me " Oh I have a day off from flying and some of my friends own a swing and jive club in town so I’m on my way to a night full of dancing and music. What about you ? "
" I’m staying here for the night before meeting up with my client tomorrow. "
" Sounds fun. Hey Mr. Jack if you’re free tonight, would you like to accompany me to the club ? Shake those hips of yours a little maybe ? "
" I’d love that Miss (Y/N) " he replied and held out his arm for me to link mine with, which I immediately did.
And off we went.
_____________________
" Tom Collins ? Really ? "
" What you didn’t think I was a Tom Collins kind of girl ? "
Jack chuckled and took a sip from his Whiskey " Nope. Thought of you more like a Singapore Sling lady. Maybe a Vodka Martini. "
I took a gulp from my drink and looked back towards Jack " Well my it’s my dad’s favorite drink and I loved watching mom make them for him and how he’d kiss her cheek whenever she brought him a glass. Their love is certainly special and I miss them a lot. So every time I go out I drink Tom Collins … and it makes me remember home "
" That’s … really sweet "
" Thank you "
" No problem … I like your pearls by the way "
My hands delicately stroked the smooth necklace " Oh these ? I’ll let you in on a little secret. They’re fake. I always admired my mother’s pearls, my dad gave them to her when he first took her out to dinner. I just never had the pleasure of catching a gentleman’s attention long enough for him to give me pearls. So I got some for myself. I just couldn’t afford the real ones. "
" If a man got lucky enough to get close to you he should shower you in pearls and everything beautiful your heart desires. " Jack said, more to himself than to me I suspect.
We looked at each other for quite a while and for a moment my thoughts wandered off and made me question if maybe, just maybe, there was something more than friendship between us.
Though I was ripped from my daydream, when the music changed to a song I knew very well.
" It’s Elvis, listen. Mr. Jack would you like to dance with me ? "
Jack smirked and shook his head though I could tell he was amused " I told you I can’t dance. But you look so pretty and that enthusiasm in your eyes leaves me breathless. I can’t say no to pretty ladies with twinkles in their eyes "
" Well then Whiskey Prince. Come follow me to the dancefloor " I put on a brave face. A fearless, sexy face. On the inside though, my guts were doing somersaults and my mind was feeling dizzy. This was weird and unfamiliar … I wasn’t sure weather I liked it or not.
Jack was right. He was a horrible dancer but still I had an incredible amount of fun. He was twirling and swirling me around the dancefloor and I felt weightless. I felt alive. I felt happy … happier than I did when I was up in the air on a plane. And THAT had never happened before.
We looked at each other with big smiles on our faces and suddenly the song changed to something slow. A song by the penguins.
" Hey that’s so your song " Jack exclaimed as he slowly wrapped his hands around my waist.
" Why is that my song ? " I returned, linking my fingers behind his neck.
" It’s called earth angel. And if YOU aren’t an Angel then I don’t know who is "
I wondered if he knew what his words were doing to me. They made me feel warm inside, and cozy. Like hot chocolate on Christmas eve. Like a whiff of your mom’s perfume when you haven’t seen her in a while. Like that one dress you never wear because it’s too risky but when you find the guts to do, it makes you feel incredible.
" Earth angel, earth angel: will you be mine?
My darling dear, love you all the time.
I’m just a fool, a fool in love with you.”
" It’s a beautiful song " I mumbled into Jack’s shoulder, where I had placed my head without giving it as much as a second thought.
" Not as beautiful as you Miss (Y/N). You’re prettier than Lana Turner in a two piece sitting by the pool "
" Oh please "
" No … I mean it. I honestly, genuinely mean it "
I looked up at him and just as he said, his eyes were full oh honesty and warmth.
" Thank you Whiskey Prince "
" No need to thank me, Earth Angel "
" Earth angel, earth angel; the one I adore.
Love you forever, and ever more.
I’m just a fool, a fool in love with you. “
I placed a kiss on his cheek before resting my head back on his shoulder and we kept swaying throughout the night until he brought me back to the hotel and kissed my hand as he bit me goodbye.
" I fell for you and I knew the vision of your loveliness,
I hope and I pray that some day I’d be the vision on your happiness.”
_________________________________
I didn’t see him the next day, but I wasn’t expecting to. So that didn’t make me sad. I still had a wonderful day off in New York City that I spend shopping and dining in a wonderful restaurant.
And too fast for my liking, the day came to an end and I was back in my restricting uniform with my hair pinned up serving moody guests.
It was about a week later, we were getting close to Christmas so business was even more busy than usual. It was a flight from Baltimore to Key West Florida and I didn’t expect anything special to happen. Boy was I wrong.
As I made my way through the isle handing out drinks left and right, I was greeted by a familiar face sitting in a window seat. Jack. Usually Jack would ask about me as soon as he got on the plane, he didn’t that day and that did confuse me quite a bit, but I tried to brush it off as I was met with this gorgeous guy’s face. Only this time he didn’t smile when he saw me, he looked on the edge, nervous even.
" Hello Mr. Jack. Fancy seeing you here what can I get you ? "
But Jack didn’t answer me, instead the woman next to him spoke up.
" Oh you know each other ? " Now THAT confused me a lot.
" Uh … " Jack looked around and took a few deep breaths " Pam .. this is (Y/N) she’s a flight attendant, we’ve met each other a few times. (Y/N) … " and for the first time today, he actually looked at me " … this is Pamela …. my wife "
His wife. He had a wife. A wife he never ever mention. Not even once.
Then my eyes fell to the little girl sitting next to Pamela. A beautiful little blonde haired girl with bright green eyes. Just as much of a beauty as her mother.
" And … and who’s this little lady ? " I asked trying desperately to keep my tears at bay. I had no idea why this got me so upset. Jack and I weren’t a couple. I had no right to be sad or angry about this, not at all, not even a little.
" Oh this is my daughter Bonnie. Can you say say hi sweetie ? " Pamela turned to her daughter and smiled at her warmly.
The little girl glanced at me and let out a quite, shy " Hi " before burying her face in her mom’s side.
He had a wife. And a kid. He had a daughter.
Jack wasn’t my boyfriend, nothing had happened between us. We didn’t even kiss. And yet I felt like the world was crashing down on me because despite nothing happening, there still was SOMETHING between us two and neither of us could deny that.
" She’s … adorable. " I tried with all my power, to get this over with as quick as possible without breaking apart.
" Thank you … so I’d like a Tomato juice please. Bonnie takes the apple juice … and you darling ? " his wife turned to look at Jack who’s eyes were on mine. And they were pleading. For what ? I don’t know.
Maybe he didn’t want me to be mad ? Maybe he didn’t want me to tell his wife about our night out dancing ? I had no idea. But then again, my mind was all over the place in that moment.
" Uh … a Whiskey on the rocks please. "
" Just a second " I turned to my cart, preparing their drinks and trying to avoid Jack’s eyes.
" Here you go, if there’s anything else I can do for you, just press this button and I’ll be on my way. Have a nice flight " I put on my best fake smile and walked off, still catching a bit of Pamela saying something along the lines of " What a nice lady " … she thought I was nice ? I didn’t want her to think I was nice. I didn’t want her to think about me at all.
I had no idea why I felt this way, nothing happened between me and Jack , but everything in me made me feel like " the other girl " … and god knows that’s the last thing I ever wanted to be.
___________________
A while later I was just walking out of the toilet cubicle and straight into the last person I wanted to see. Jack
" (Y/N) "
" No … no I can’t talk I need to get back to work "
As I tried walking around him, he grabbed my by the arm and turned me to look at him.
" Angel please "
" Stop it. You don’t get to call me that. Married men are not allowed to call other women Angel. Married fathers are not allowed to do that "
" Bonnie is not my kid. "
She wasn’t ?!
" It doesn’t matter. You’re married and before this, whatever it is that we have, goes any further I would appreciate it if we could go back to a professional passenger-flight attendant relationship. And now I have to ask you to return to your seat. Mr.Barakat "
Jack let go of my arm and nodded slightly. I think calling him by his last name really did the deal.
" Okay. But honestly, it’s not what it looks like. "
" Yeah, haven’t heard that one before. "
He shook his head and walked away sitting back in his designated seat. And I ? I felt like someone had repeatedly punched me in the guts.
For the first time since I started working here, I locked myself in a cublice and cried. Not because of mean passengers or because of stress. No, I cried because of heartbreak. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, I was in love with Jack. A married man I would never be able to call mine.
___________________________________________
Key West was always a special spot for us Pan Am girls. For most of us, this was the place where it all began. The city we all traveled to in hope to get a shiny pair of wings to pin to our uniform and get up there into the air.
As usual when we got here, those who didn’t fly the next morning, made it their duty as proper Pan Am girls, to go out and dance the night away.
I was one of those girls that night and usually I’d be happy and excited to go dancing. Today though, today all I wanted was to get tipsy and forget Jack ever entered my life in the first place.
We went to our signature dance bar, the owner Barney, already knew us girls very well and greeted us with a warm smile and a few drinks on the house, whenever we walked into the building.
It was about an hour after we had arrived, my girls were mostly swinging their hips on the dancefloor or nuzzling their bodies into a strangers strong arms. I didn’t feel like doing either of those things. I leaned against the bar with a cigarette dangling between my fingers and a scowl on my face.
" Hey (Y/N), got something for you " Barney approached me from behind the bar and slid a glass over toward me.
" Tom Collins, from the guy over there " he announced and pointed his finger to the other side of the bar, where I was met by a face I really tried hard to forget tonight.
As he noticed me noticing him, he started walking over towards me and as much as I wanted to run away and avoid him, I felt like I was glued to the floor.
" Those are gonna kill you eventually " he said and nodded his head towards the cigarette in my hand.
" I’m gonna die anyway, give or take a few years doesn’t change the outcome "
" Why so cynical all of a sudden ? "
" Why so married, all of a sudden ? " I didn’t see any need to beat around the bush. If there was a possible meltdown approaching between the two of us, I’d rather it come now than after an hour of unnecessary small talk.
" Look (Y/N) I know I messed up but please let me explain. Please " those big brown eyes I just couldn’t resist. No one could, I was sure of that.
" Explain then " I said and took a drag of my cigarette, purposely blowing the smoke in his direction.
" Pam … she’s my wife, yes. But I don’t love her "
" Hah, yeah that’s what they all say "
" It’s the truth though. Or maybe I do love her, but I am not in love with her, I’ve never been for that matter. Pamela and I knew each other for a while, we met through her first husband. "
" Oh god, you’re even more of an asshole than I thought "
" No I’m not. Listen! Pam was married to my best friend Cole. They were the perfect couple. He adored her. And then he went to war. He was very young and he didn’t expect to make it back home. So he made me promise I would take care of her in case he wouldn’t return. He was my best friend of course I said yes, I was a few years younger than him, in no way suitable to be a husband, but he was my friend and it could’ve been the last time I saw him, I’d have promised him anything. He made it home though and we were all so happy and for a while we felt like we were on top of the world. Though after a while we noticed that the man who went to war, wasn’t the man who came home to us. He suffered some extreme case of PTSD … and one day when Pam was out with Bonnie, who was a tiny baby back then, he couldn’t take it anymore. So he … he took a bullet through the head. Ironic really. How we were so worried he’d get shot at war and then he shot himself. But I made a promise and I’d keep it. Pam didn’t know how to raise her child alone, she didn’t even know how to get food on the table. So I did what I had to do. I made her my wife and I’m taking care of her, and Bonnie. I love them, a lot. But I am not in love with Pam. I never was "
Wow, that was quite a lot to process. And still it didn’t put my mind at ease. He was still married, no matter the reasons.
" You’re still married Jack. And okay, maybe you’re not as bad of a person as I thought you were but … you’re still married and you didn’t tell me. " I told him and placed the cigarette between my teeth, just for him to pull it out and take a drag himself and then stubbing it out in the ashtray that was placed on the bar.
" I’m sorry for not telling you, I really am. Please just, let’s just have a drink together "
I was still upset but after all he told me, a drink couldn’t do much harm could it ?
_________________________
It wasn’t one drink. We ended up drinking several drinks one after the other and eventually, I found myself on some incredibly comfortable, shiny silk sheets with a wonderful guy buried deep inside me.
One of his hands was holding the side of my neck to make sure I was looking at him, while the other held my hips in place to take me in all the right ways.
It was true, what I said before, being with Jack made me feel so alive and not a single thought was wasted on the fact that he was married. Not in this night filled with pure ecstasy and bliss.
We were a mess of moans and grunts and silent prayers to god and the world thanking them for letting us both experience this moment right here.
We were covered in sweat and kisses and marked by the other’s desperate attempt to make the feelings we held for each other visible.
And those feelings, at least the ones I felt for him, they were love.
If there was one person I’d have given up my life on a plane for, It would’ve been Jack. And that thought alone was madness, not to mention, there was still his wife.
But as the tidal wave of pleasure rolled upon me and made me tear at the seams, I didn’t think about marriage or anyone that could interfere with me and Jack. There was just us. Just me and my whiskey prince.
The guy, who followed suit soon after with a mouth watering moan and a whispered sentence that made my ears ring.
" I love you, my angel "
________________________________
Sometimes it takes a while for you to notice that you love someone, not the schoolgirl kind of love but the real proper kind of love.
Other times, you can feel it after seeing the other person only a few times and you think it’s mad but it’s there and you can’t change it.
And then there’s the times when you are so desperately in love with someone that it tears you apart. So in love and yet the outer world is still visible, because it’s a real kind of love that comes without pretty filters and cute rosy glasses to make everything seem perfect.
That kind of love is both the best and the worst. The best, because it’s real and once you have it you know that’s the thing, that’s the real deal.
The worst, because sometimes it’s not enough. Sometimes that kind of love asks for compromises and usually those connect to the feelings of other people.
Are you willing to hurt another person to keep the love you have?
I wasn’t.
I had always been selfish in my life, but this time I couldn’t be. There was a lovely woman who needed a man for herself and for her daughter, I couldn’t take that away from her no matter how much I loved Jack. I was already the other girl, I couldn’t be the woman who took away her second husband, her saving grace.
So I left the hotel after Jack had fallen asleep, still covered in sweat and tiny whispers of love confessions.
That was a month ago. I hadn’t seen Jack since then. I was glad … but also I wasn’t.
They saw, my coworkers and my boss. " She’s tired " " She’s been working so hard " " Isn’t she the only one who DOESN’T have someone to look forward to when coming home " " I heard even her family is worried "
They thought I didn’t notice when they spoke my name in hushed voices, I did. So it came as no surprise to me when my bosses offered me some paid vacation and the only way I wanted to spend it, was soaking up the warm sun of Los Angeles.
As my plane touched down I tried to scurry out of there as soon as possible and was more than delighted as I finally got my luggage. That was until I rounded the corner.
Out of all the things I had ever encountered at an US airport, 4 guys with instruments was definitely in the top 10 of the weirdest.
And not only any band, oh no. I knew their guitarist on a very intimate level.
As his eyes connected with mine, the band started to strum the notes to a song I was very familiar with.
MY song.
" Earth angel, earth angel: will you be mine?
My darling dear, love you all the time.
I’m just a fool, a fool in love with you.
Earth angel, earth angel; the one I adore.
Love you forever, and ever more.
I’m just a fool, a fool in love with you. “
I walked up to Jack, not being able to keep the smile off my face.
" What is all this ? " I asked still listening to his friend sing the words that Jack always used to describe me, and I felt like I was brought back to that night in New York, back in Jack’s arms.
" I love you. You’re MY earth angel (Y/N). Look, I … I know you don’t want to be with a married man …. so I got this " he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and showed it to me.
" What is that ? "
" Divorce papers. I’m not married anymore. But wait, don’t worry. I’m still keeping my promise, I started a bank account, with money for Bonnie to make sure she will never be in need of something crucial. And Pam will receive some money each month as well. Actually … this was her idea. Because she feels the same way I do. We love each other but we’re not in love with each other … You though. With you I am very much in love. So will you let me be your Whiskey Prince again "
Without a second thought, I wrapped my arms around his neck and connected my lips with his. He tasted like Whiskey, what else, and a hint of peppermint. But mostly he tasted like home.
Who knew that out of all the places I traveled, searching for a place to rest my heart, I’d find it up in the clouds.
" Oh, by the way … I got you this " he said and pulled the most beautiful pearl necklace from the pocket of his suit jacket.
" They’re beautiful "
" An Angel deserves real pearls. And YOU miss (Y/N) are an actual angel. My angel "
" Your angel "
A few months later, I swapped the golden wings that were neatly pinned to my uniform, against a pair of imaginary ones that were given to me by this beautiful man as he put a shining gold band on my ring finger.
" My darling dear, love you all the time.
I’m just a fool, a fool in love with you.”