Sometimes feel like the people on here speak a different language? Don't know your Arf from your MBO? Worry no more - this is the Bored Lexicon (from M through to Z). Everything you need to know is right here...
*** NOTE: don't feel you have to read all the subsequent pages. Everything you need to know is in this opening post which is updated on a regular basis from suggestions posted on this thread. ***
A huge debt of gratitude to the poster KG who rescued this thread after the previous site was lost.
M
Maccad/Maccala - banned poster Maccad123. A Liverpool supporting Scouser who added often interesting perspective from outside of WBA. Sadly, get him on the topics of Luis Suarez and Roy Hodgson and he lost objectivity. He hated SOW, so much that it was his repeated attacks on him that finally got the t1t banned. <Lights candle> .
MAF -Marc Antoine Fortuneh.
March, The - The March to Molineux. An example of this bored at its finest, where the great and the good walked the 10.6 miles from The Shrine to the Custard Bowl in support of Acorns Children's Hospice before a BCD. Initiated by Dharma Albion by way of thanks for the care provided to his brave daughter Emma. The good karma generated no doubt contributed to the 1-5 drubbing dished out later that afternoon and which has since passed into legend.
Mattock... MATTOCK! - Outburst from Lee the Baggie on post-match phone-in to Tom Ross after the left back was torn a new one at Bristol City.
MBO - Master of the Bleeding Obvious. Awarded to posters who post something that is stating the, erm, bleeding obvious.
MCW - Middle Class Wanker. Used to describe anyone who owns an Apple product, shops at Waitrose, eats hummus, drinks coffee in pubs, drives a BMW, lives in Berkshire etc.
MPW - Million Posts Wanker. Reference to ponners suffering from Posting Tourettes. Excellent petty sniping from Herby McFly.
MeLTdOWn - Mass hysteria, usually witnessed following a defeat or any minor setback. Or the wrong players on the bench:http://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=38880 or having a game involving rolling subs: http://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=29568&highlight=rolling+subs
Mental strength - mystical attribute of Paul Scharner whose sheer force of will could fell 2 players with one tackle.
Mini Fridge, The - Stéphane Sessègnon. See also Sausagefun and The Fridge.
Minstrel - poster who frequently baited other posters with inflammatory statements concerning Dr Evil. His confrontational style and boastful MCW oneupmanship culminated in the mother of all Whooshes from which he refused to back down from and resulted in him requesting the Nods ban him and close his account (which they did with gleeful haste). His legacy is a series of Minstrelisms found elsewhere in this Lexicon.
Monster Truck, The - Romelu Lukaku. The Unit 2 came on as a sub against Spurs and ran them ragged until eventually Mozza scored. A Spurs fan commented afterwards that we had brought on a Monster truck instead of a player.
Mother of All Press Conferences, The - A fictional event where a plethora of signings will all be unveiled to the press:
N
NAP - Nonner Avoidance Patrol. The philantrophic duty of the sometime poster Mayo to ensure no-one's feelings were hurt if being ignored by replying to potential "nonners" with something followed by 'NAP'.
Nod - derivative of Noderator. Moderator of forum. A title given to the more easy going overseers of This Dump who remained following the removal of BAWS and his reign of terror. Someone who would rather nod a post through than ban the population of Bristol.
Non-goalscoring goalscorer - The kind of strikers our scouting team often look for. Ones who are not good in front of goal but still do a job for the team. cf Marc Antoine Fortuneh, Victor Anichebe.
Nonner - a thread with no replies.
Nonner Buster - post that breaks the Nonner.
"No-one else wanted him" - The stick used to beat any new signing whom a poster does not rate.
NSFW - Not Suitable For Work. Post contains graphic images that may include breasts or genitalia, naked or otherwise, but none the less anyone who sees your screen will say WTF? Should really go in The Wastegrounds forum.
O
Onions? - Opinions? Typo from Josh, just Josh
Or he's just signed for Chelsea - This is a more recent version of the "There's only one place he's going...", after the Izzy Brown saga in which an Academy player on the verge of breaking into the PL squad was whisked away for a little over £200k. Latterly used after a player has tweeted something along the lines of "good news".
Overpaid Nancy Boys - England F.C.
P
PC Portmao - After PC Portman who is a real life WMP Officer who travels everywhere with Albion fans acting as a spotter and intelligence against the more unruly elements of our support. Treated with contempt by many of those who have felt his wrath (some of the Casual Clique). He's seen as a bit of a snidey f***pig. The spelling of Portmao is a clever play on words with regards to Chairman Mao and abusing power (first applied to bored administrator Birdmao).
Peace wants relegation - Minstrelism. Claim made by Minstrel, self-proclaimed financial expert, despite this concept being in clear contradiction of every economic law. Never substantiated (see also: You wouldn't understand).
Peacock Clique - posters who dress up as Rupert the Bear to go to a football match.
Pedals - some ponners buy bicycles without them. It's true.
Pelanty - (sic) penalty (pl. pelanties)
Penalty Sheff Wed thread - memorial thread to remember those posters who are no longer with us. Started as a tribute to SambaApe who was tragically killed in an accident. His final post was kept "alive" by posters ever since with regular "bumps" up to the top of the bored. This has been kept going across many different incarnations of the bored and has also encompassed the passing of other posters such as Rich68 the inventor of the Baggies Barge. A great example of the more postive side of this bored that is not often seen but is always there. RIP former posters everywhere.
Penis Von Spunkface - Hawkins Halfpipe corruption of the name of one-time transfer target Ricky van Wolfswinkel.
petty sniping - this dump's raison d'être. Stems from bitterness and normally peaks if there is no football to look forward to at the coming weekend, often culminating in the bored nods imposing bans. Witness this example: The Boat Race
Pffft - A representation of contempt.
+1 - Showing agreement on previously posted content. Various numbers can be employed to emphasise agreement.
POLISH GIRLS - much advertised marriage proposals in banner ads on this dump circa 2010 : politically unacceptable and thought to be extinct until resurfaced in a Hagley Road chippie.
Ponner - a term of endearment and mild abuse used amongst The Legends.
Ponner's Corner - an area at the back of The Vine where long time (now nearly all ex-) posters on here congregate before and after Albion home games.
Ponner's Podium - On the old forum, in association with a ponner hitting the heights and having his post pulled out and quoted on the original home page of site.
Porcelain - refers to a comment by a poster about how shabby the Halfords was looking a while ago and has been used ever since to talk about relatively insignificant things that are wrong with the club which are often blown up out of all proportions by some of the Anti-Peace brigade. See also yellow steps.
Posters as <insert topic> - thread initiated by Mayo where posters were matched to well known characters in a film/book/TV program e.g. Posters as characters in Lord of the Rings. Lists would read as a Who's Who of The Clique
Problem pal? - You don't agree then? See also Eh?, Wha?
Project, The - The Gnurrrker's life long desire to turn us into a tippy tappy wet dream who maintained 100% possession, never made a tackle, never lifted the ball above head height, never passed more than 5 yards, refused to try to score from set pieces and never defended a set piece correctly. Tony referred to his project a few times and this was used mercilessly against him forever more.
Pulis type player - you have to be over 6 foot tall, powerful, 'aaaaardworking, good in the air, not trained with a football for at least 2 seasons and know every dirty trick in the book, if you want to make it on HBW's list of transfer targets.
Pulised - quietly accepting Pulisball because it's what we need right now is one thing, but when you start repeating what HBW says and arguing in favour of how the team are playing then you'e been Pulised.
<>pumps fist<> - added to post to signal passion. Largely attributed to ex-left back Paul Robinson. See The Badge Kisser.
Q
R
Randy Seal, The - Aston Villa Chairman, Randy Lerner.
Read the bottle - Standard reply to any thread asking for Tablet advice. See also Have you tried turning it off and back on again?
Red flagged & reported - The old way to complain/grass about a particular post or poster. Usually said after a post is made that is vaguely racist but isn't really.
Regis played a blider - (sic) Sundogism. He had a shot at a lazy fuggin journo (citation needed) who, following a mid week evening game that we lost against Arsenal, wrote in the Mirror or the Express that "Regis played a blinder" when in fact "he was injured and didn't play at all!!".
Rerecord, not Fade Away - a standard response to some of the monotonous and lesser interesting threads, examples being 'where the money (has) gone, Tom' and the death penalty.
Rich Tea - Rich Healey aka Rich68. Board legend and tea dealer, pioneer of the Baggies barge and all round lovely guy. RIP.
Rios - or 'he's done a Rios'. Stems back to when Albion were on the verge of signing Athletico Madrid and Spain centre half Roberto Rios only for him to choose retirement instead.
Rivals - the original bored of Wbaunofficial. Every football club had a respective bored on Rivals and a user Id for one bored would allow you to post on any bored. Consequently, there were occasionally bored invasions.
Roland - Jeremy Peace (his middle name).
Rounders - Baseball. Thread, for those who appreciate the finer points of the American ball game.
Run My Bollocks Up The Clock - Something you do when you're very, VERY angry. But don't try it at home, The Kids.
<insert name> runs the door here - Entry to either a real location or area of The Clique.
S
Salt - No poster on here will exceed their salt intake. Not on Morley's watch. His expertise came to the fore when Baggie69 described how a chap in his office used to empty a new packet of Cup-A-Soup into the half finished previous Cup-A-Soup and just add water. Morley worked out that on Cup-A-Soups alone, the man was over 3 times the RDA of salt.
Sauce - Source? Asked to provide a link to back up ITK information.
Saudi - Saido Berahino.
Sausagefun - Stéphane Sessègnon. See also The Mini Fridge.
SClub7 - Paul Scharner's mystery 7 clubs that he would have been allowed to talk to as included in his self-negotiated contract.
Scotch pryck! - Insult delivered by one of less intellectual posters towards the Stockton born, former manager Tony Mowbray. Presumably thought that as we got him from Hibs that meant he was a naturalised Scot or summat?!! Used tongue in cheek ever since...
Seal Sanctuary, The - Veeeeella Park
Second Tier, The - reference to plans by the club (since put on hold) to add a second tier to the existing Halfords Lane stand to boost capacity to over 30,000. The subject arouses great passions amongst those for and against the proposals with both sides claiming "if we build it, they will come" (sarcastically, in the case of the naysayers).
Secret Board, The - A mythical place where only a select few ponners are allowed to post. Clique only. It is believed that former bored legends still post there.
£70k Audi - Minstrelism. Vehicle of choice for the discerning MCW.
SGM - Sir Gary Megson. Knighted by Albion fans for services to WBA FC after being bestowed the mediaeval title of Lord of the Manor of West Bromwich.
Sheff - official commentator on all refereeing matters.
Shirley - surely. Nicked from the filum 'Airplane'.
Shoe - Retribution delivered to a poster for a stupid/idiotic or just plain wrong post. Should always be supported with FACTS
Sick Vic - reference to Victor Anichebe and his fragile body. See Hydropool.
Sid - Sid Collins. Original owner of the bored (well at least the Rivals one many on here started reading and posting on). Good bloke, very chilled out, always posted sense. Struggled to maintain a leash on BAWS to prevent him from banning everyone. Understandably took a back seat (probably tired of all the schoolboy shite!!- plus the threats of legal action from Proboards) when Birdy came along after the old versions of the bored became obsolete or unusable. Without him this place would not be what it is.
Sign him up! - usually a plea to Baldy to get his head out of his arse and bring a satisfactory conclusion to contract negotiations with an existing player. See also Go Get 'Im Jezza.
SIX@@@!!! - used to express expectation that a thread would continue for many pages (6 at least).
Skills - El Ghanassy had them, FACT! He said so: "I have some skills and I promise the team some skills. I expect that if I play some games, a lot of people will come and love my skills, and I hope that some people in West Brom will come and watch my skills."
skysportshoite - Sky Sports News.
sly - sometimes written #sly. See SOW.
Smeeeerrshhhh! - a sound emitted by The Gnurrrker.
Smite - I'm going to knock down your 'Reputation'. See Exalt.
S M O K E S C R E E N - seen during transfer windows. Just to put West Ham and Birmingham City off the scent of our true targets. Sly old Roland.
Snakepit, The - Section of teenage, spotty Norwich fans who were incensed at Kieron Richardson's goal celebration. "The snake pit went wild".
Sniff - taken by some, sold by others.
SNOT GOBBLING LIAR - posted by bored "golden oldie" Sundog as almost a term of endearment.
Snowing in Reading - with the extreme weather conditions they experience, Berkshire Baggies have it harder than the rest of us.
SOTV - s*** on the Veeeella
SOW - Sly Old Woy a.k.a. Roy Hodgson. Dates back to when Fulham took Jonathan Greening on a season-long loan with a view to permanent. Fulham fans were not overly impressed with Johnno but came to the conclusion that Roy Hodgson, then their manager, was taking the opportunity to have on a season-long trial but then return him at the end of the loan - "sly old Roy" they said. Sadly for them (and hilariously for us), they didn't know Roland and 12 months later £4m duly went into the coffers. Kerr-ching!!!
Space goat - scapegoat (typo accredited to Backside_Baggie).
Steel flask - accessory of choice when sitting in the Halfords. See also tartan rug.
Strikerlight - A sitcom commissioned, but never produced, that would have stared a wide selection of the clubs 'Non Goalscoring Goalscorers', see Marc Antoine Fortuneh.
Stumpy - Refers to; Cristian Esteban Gamboa Luna. A formidable Costa Rican Right Back / Wing Back, purchased during 14/15 season after a decent showing in the World Cup and given the nickname of Stumpy due to an article in a national newspaper "Gamboa reckons he is TOO SHORT" stating that he is not tall enough for HBW's back four. The nickname was coined by Baggie66 in this post http://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=40183&pid=444189#pid444189
SUMS - Derivative of MAF. (accreditation disputed)
Sundog - aka the late Gordon Carswell, was a well worn poster originally known as Ginko , then Sundog , Skallywag and more recently Rommel. Appearance resembling Captain Birdseye. Michievously accused of really being a Bluenose , Gordon Hornblower Sundog stumbled across the Albion message board in error but decided to stop. Legendary mis spelt ( sic ) rants and use of CAPITALS and !1!!! have given us the wonderful and abundant Sundogisms that are still in use today. A wider collection of these can be found here: http://wbaunofficial.proboards.com/user/...ent?page=2
Sundogging - Either impersonating or quoting Sundog. Quotes include "A Feint Heart Never F**ked Pig" and "Shaking like Sh*tting Dog!"
Super bob - NOT the player. Contradicting the basic laws of supply and demand this poster requests a scarce/high value item be made readily available at a below market value price (and usually succeeds). May also request YOU pay HIM for taking said item off your hands. Also known as a cheekyfugger.
superfans - fans who are willing to go anywhere and everywhere to watch the Albion play, no matter how insignificant the game. It is a FACT that there are 1106 superfans of WBA.
T
Tactics Timmy - Tim Sherwood. See also ArryTheCunt Mk. II.
Tamashed - Exceedingly drunk, just like Romainian ex international Gabriel Tamas.
<taps nose> - a comment that backs up an ITK comment.
<taps watch> - a comment that indicates frustration or impatience when apparent ITK information is looking unreliable.
Tartan rug - see steel flask.
TCP - Tony C***ing Pulis. Acronym quickly adopted when appointed as HC following the sacking of AFI. See also HBW.
That Program - 'The Wire'.
There's only one place he's going...Forest or Leeds - The next response to rumours that a player that isn't considered s*** coming to the Albion after "He ay coming". Corruption of original post by BAWS/Sundog(?): "Absolute codswallop! The only place <insert name> is going is..." etc.
Thick Cradley Sheet Metal Workers - Angry description of our fan base by a visiting fan...probably a Villa twat...
This had better be good I've just told my wife to put her knickers back on - uttered at the end of a desperately disappointing transfer deadline night.
This post has no relevance to my point - Minstrelism, posted when Birdman attempted to save Minstrel from getting whooshed but failed (or refused) to take the hint.
3kg Lead Pipe - boudoir deterrent weaponry, usually favoured by the electively infertile.
Thvmbs - (sic) Thumbs aka Jonas Olsson. So called because at the end of one match, like an Emperor of Rome surveying his gladiatorial crowd, he came up to the Brummie Road and gave it a thumbs down, as a sign that he did not approve of the booing and moaning that had been thrown at the team after a poor performance and result.
Tier jerkers - Collective name for those who bang on about the need for a second tier.
Tin Hat - metaphorically donned when a poster says something likely to cause reaction.
T1t - (sic) Tit. Term of endearment often expressed as "Ypou t1t".
TNB - Total Network Ban.
Toothbrush Incident - Referring to Camp Freddy nearly dying in the shower after accidentally stabbing himself with a dental hygiene tool.
Top 5s - must have 6 entries, the final one being an Emmerdale reference.
transfer gimp, the - character with many mobile phones who comes out twice a year.
Twatter, The - Twitter.
Twilight Zone, The - the posting lull in between the busier office-hours and evening periods.
U
Underbelly - no transfer window is complete unless we sign a few for this part of the squad.
Unit, The - Somen Alfred 'Random' Tchoyi. We thought he was a big ol' unit - until we saw...
Unit 2, The - Romelu Menama Lukaku. See The Unit and The Monster Truck.
Uruguans - Sundogism referring to Uruguayans, especially their women.
V
Volcanic Island Hideout - What Peace plans to build once he has taken all the club's money (especially those lucrative parachute payments). Below is an artist's (Baracus) impression:
W
Waggling - Acts of self-abuse, pretty much what killed the last bored. Most often seen in The Wastegrounds forum.
Walsall Baggie's tree - where transfer targets are officially verified.
<Insert name> wants a word pal - used as a semi conflicting or a correlating mocking response to a posters name drop/subject. Preferably the subject matter is kept to the same context as the original posters name drop/subject.
Weather report - we do like to talk about the weather, don't we? Needless to say, it will be snowing in Reading.
Wha...? - Standard response. See Problem pal?
What have the <insert name> department said? - phrase coined after Richard Garlick's public statement (designed to calm concerned fans in a turbulent week) where he talked about the "football department".
Where's the money gone, Tom? - A reference to Lee The Baggie's infamous Radio appearance which can be used at any point that spending on anything is discussed. See Have a Bronx hat.
Who scored the most goals? - Fugg possession! This is the only statistic that matters.
Whoooosh! - think before you post ypou t1T. That's the sound of rushing wind from the point I just made passing over your head. For an epic illustration of this concept - we're talking top end of the Beaufort Scale here - see http://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=14739 (we get mackerel skies at post no. 32 - note the difference in date to post 31; the first gust occurs at post 46)
Wide of the mark - Lepko-ism. Description of inaccurate reports about the Albion from other media agencies. Also used in relation to ITK claims and wild rumours on this bored.
Width and pace - a mantra much uttered during the dire 2014-15 campaign.
WIM DOOMED - we are doomed to the Championship. Heard only during bored Meltdowns.
Winky Thing - In reference to a ponner technically unable to add a winking smiley face to a post.
Wins Fred - Applied at foot of post when poster feels he has given the best post.
WISC's Points Predictor - A points predictor provided by ex-pat Wolves fan WolfInSheepsClothing on the rare occasion, usually at the start of a season, that Wulfs are doing better than Albion. Based on the points gained thus far being averaged up into an end of season total. Noticeable by its absence in recent times. As, predictably, is WISC. The programme often crashed due to a divide-by-zero error.
X
X-Bone - X-Box games console.
Y
Yard Dog - Jonas Olsson. See also Thvmbs.
Yawnball - Basketball. Thread for those who appreciate the finer points of the American ball game.
Yellow Steps - referring to the horrific decision by Peace to paint the steps in the stands yellow which some saw as a deliberate attempt to wind up loyal fans by the chairman. This was explained away as a form of health and safety requirement by other more sentient posters but did lead to an amusing thread on another bored where someone took photos of the steps at every away game they went to to show that it was NOT a nationwide H&S requirement. See also Porcelain.
Yer Name On Yer Bowl - a reply to use when someone has just failed to make sense followed by a WHAT? Gif. Inspired by this classic thread:http://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=4475
You are <insert name>, and I claim my 5 <insert object> - When a ponner's suspected real identity is outed as someone famous due to their postings.
You have obviously never, EVER, kicked a ball - damning verdict of someone's knowledge of football.
You wouldn't understand - Minstrelism. Standard response when challenged to back up any wild claim.
Ypou - You. Sundogism. Now adapted/adopted into general useage to the extent that videos are watched via ypoutube etc.
Z
Zzzzone, the - The Zone. Where Coops / Boss Baggie lives.