The funeral parlor was packed, and my wife and I were going to be standing in the line up longer than either of us had wanted to. I didn’t think that it was a good idea to tell my wife that she could have listened to my suggestion to go a little earlier so it was just going to be a matter of grin and bear it. I could see Dave, my best friend ever since we were in grade one, standing next to Linda’s coffin, and his 2 daughters and their husbands were next to him. Dave and I had been very close from the age of 6 through the age of 22. I was the best man at their wedding, and when Nancy and I were married Dave was my best man. We had stayed in contact over the years, but as so often happens once the pressures of a wife, a job and family bear down upon you the closeness tends to drift apart.
The line moved slowly, and as it moved I looked at my wife. She was still as trim and fit as she had been the day I met her, and as I reflected on this I realized that the night Dave and I met Nancy at a dance she was also wearing her glasses. For years she had worn contact lenses every day as she went off to her job as a primary grade school teacher, and the only time I would get to see her wearing her glasses was during the evenings at home. Yes, when our 3 kids were younger and Nancy was at home with them she would often go for days, and sometimes weeks without inserting her lenses, but for the most part she was a confirmed contact lens wearer.
I remembered the night that Dave and I met Nancy. My attraction to girls that wore glasses was something that I had never shared, not even with my best friend, and when I saw this slim and trim girl with long blond hair framing a pair of obviously strong minus glasses I knew I had to meet her. But I also knew that I had to keep my lust for her to myself because if I ever admitted to Dave that I was attracted to this girl because of her strong glasses he would have thought I was crazy.
I managed to find the courage to ask Nancy for a dance, and when that dance was over I convinced her to stay on the floor to dance the next dance with me. I loved looking into her minimized eyes through the lenses of her glasses, which to me seemed pretty thick. There was a good bit of lens showing behind the edge of the frame when I looked at her from the side, and although I had no idea how strong her glasses were I knew that she was likely very dependent on them.
I managed to turn that one night of dancing into a lifetime of marriage. Nancy completed high school, then university and went on to become a teacher. Her glasses were replaced by contact lenses for the viewing pleasure of the general public. But in private I was thrilled to see her glasses increase in power from the -10.50D that she was wearing at age 17 when I first met her all the way up to her present prescription of -18.50D. After we were married and we had our three children I was not at all unhappy to see that all three kids had inherited their mother’s myopia. Ariel, our first born, got her first pair of glasses at the age of 8. Her brother Jacob followed her into the world of myopia when he was 10 and at the same time Morgan, our youngest, who was the same age as Ariel had been when she got her first glasses was prescribed an identical prescription to that of Ariel’s first one. At this time Ariel was 12, and her prescription had climbed rapidly to her then prescription of -6D. She had taken to the wearing of glasses immediately, and they never left her face.
I knew where the myopia originated. For as long as I had known her my mother in law wore glasses that were in the -20D range, and so did her mother – Nancy’s grandmother. From pictures I had seen it was obvious that her Great Grandmother was also very nearsighted and in one old picture I saw that her Great Great Grandfather on her Great Grandmother’s side was wearing strong minus glasses. So there was a long family history of high myopia and I saw no reason for it to end.
Now, at the time of Linda’s funeral Ariel was 36. She had refused all her mother’s offers to buy her contact lenses. I had convinced her, when she was 16 and had experienced a couple of rather large increases in her myopic progression, to have her glasses made with blended myodisc lenses. She took my suggestion and after 20 years she still wore this type of lens even though her prescription was now around -23D. Ariel had very good visual acuity when wearing her blended myodiscs and I must admit that every time I looked at her tall lithe body I was filled with pride. Her brother Jacob was a part time glasses wearer. When it suited him he wore glasses. When he wanted to he wore contacts. His glasses, with their -14D prescription, were strong, but with the high index lenses they did not look terribly thick. And his attitude was; like me, like my glasses. Morgan was the contact lens wearer in the family. She had wanted contacts when she turned 15, and I didn’t argue the point. But I felt that the constant wearing of contacts had accelerated her myopia to the point where her contacts were right at -20D and her glasses were around -26D. Her vision was quite good when she was wearing contacts, but she had trouble seeing things well when she had her glasses on. And, she didn’t like wearing glasses so she made no effort to get used to wearing them. I worried a little about Morgan, as she would be in serious trouble if she could not wear her contacts.
By now the line had moved right up to the family. I spoke with Cassie and her husband Gavin. Then we moved on to Brittany and her husband Phillip. Finally we were face to face with Dave. Nancy gave Dave a hug, as did I.
“I was hoping to see you here Brent. I need to ask you a favor.” Dave said.
“Ask away my friend.” I replied.
“Would you be a pallbearer at the funeral?” Dave asked.
“I would be honored to do that.” I answered.
“I’ll call you later this evening with the details.” Dave said.
Nancy and I made our way through the crowd and back to our car. I suspected that this was the first time Dave had seen Nancy wearing glasses for many years, and my mind wandered back to the night at the dance when I first met Nancy. We had driven Nancy home, and I arranged a date with her for the following evening when I walked her to her door. After we left her place Dave and I talked.
“She has a great body, but I don’t think I have ever seen a girl with glasses that thick before.” Dave said.
“Yeah, I know. They are a little bit of a turn off, but she is a really nice person.” I replied.
“I wonder what she can see without them.” Dave asked.
“Probably not very much. But I likely won’t ever get the chance to find out. I suppose if she got contact lenses I would be more interested in dating her. But as long as she wears those thick glasses I guess I will forget about her.” I lied.
I spent the next couple of Saturday nights driving over to go out with Nancy. I wasn’t comfortable lying to Dave though, and when he asked me what I had done on the second Saturday night I admitted to him that I had gone back over to take the girl with the really thick glasses to the drive in.
“Did you get her glasses off? Did you find out how much she can see without them?” Dave asked.
“Yes, I did get them off when we were kissing at the drive inn. She held them in her hand though, and put them back on right away. I didn’t have the nerve to ask her how much she could see without them, but I likely will the next time I take her out.” I answered.
“Man, if you two get married and have kids they will likely have bad eyes too.” Dave replied.
“I am just dating her. I am not going to marry her.” I lied.
Over the next few years Dave would occasionally ask me if I had ever figured out just what Nancy could see without her glasses – or later on her contacts. I would simply answer that she was pretty blind without them, as I figured that it was really none of his business. I did wonder if perhaps he had a little bit of a fixation for glasses, but Linda had great eyesight, as did he. And then when their kids came along they escaped the need for glasses.
Dave had been right about one thing though. All our kids did need strong glasses.
The funeral was 2 days later. I don’t know why Linda had wanted a church service and all the trimmings, but I guessed that this was because it had always been done that way in her family. I was there early and Gavin and Phillip were there with their families already. I looked over at Gavin and his wife Brittany and was a little surprised to see a young lady of about 12 that was wearing glasses and a young boy standing with them. I was curious, so I walked over to say hi. The boy was their son Cameron, and he was 9 years old. The young lady was their daughter Meghan, and she had just turned 13. Now that I was closer I could see that her glasses had flat fronts, and looked pretty strong for a 13 year old. I didn’t want to say anything, but Brittany brought the subject up first.
“I remember when Ariel and Morgan were Meghan’s age their glasses looked to be about as strong as hers are. Do you remember what their prescriptions were back then?” Brittany asked.
“I know that Ariel had a prescription of -6D when she was 12. I remember that she had to get even stronger glasses the following year, but I am not sure what her prescription was then. I would guess that she was somewhere around -7D, maybe -7.50D.” I replied.
“Meghan got those glasses about 6 months ago and she was already right at -7.50D. Her eye doctor told me that was a really strong prescription for her to have at that age.” Brittany replied.
“Ariel has always worn glasses and her prescription is now around -23D. But Morgan got contacts when she was 15 and her glasses are around -26D now. I blame the contact lenses for making Morgan’s eyes worse than her sisters.” I said.
“What do you mean?” Brittany asked.
“When you are wearing contact lenses they are the correct prescription to correct your distance vision. If you read a lot you are constantly forcing your eyes to see through your full distance prescription at all times. Ariel always wore her glasses, even to read, but glasses slip down your nose and as they move away from your eyes their power is reduced slightly. So when Ariel was reading she was likely not always looking through her full distance prescription.” I answered.
“That is an interesting theory. I should ask Meghan’s eye doctor what he thinks about that. Meghan is quite a reader, but she won’t take her glasses off to read anymore.” Brittany said.
‘That is because with her prescription she can’t see unless she brings her book right up to her face.” I said.
“That is what she tells me. I just don’t want her eyes to get much worse.” Brittany said.
“You probably can’t do anything about it other than possibly reducing the prescription that she reads with. If she has an old pair of glasses you could try to have her wear them when she is reading.” I said.
“That’s a good idea. Maybe we will try that.” Brittany responded.
“Just don’t be surprised if her eyes continue to get worse and worse. Some people just have that happen no matter what you try.” I replied.
I did my service as a pallbearer, and ended up at the graveside with the rest of the funeral party. I spent a lot of my time watching Meghan as the tears kept sliding down her cheeks and she had to keep removing her glasses to dab at her eyes with a hankie. To me that indicated that Meghan had been very close to her grandmother.
After the service at the grave we all returned to the church hall for a luncheon. I knew pretty well all of the people there, and I was kept busy chatting with members of Linda and Dave’s immediate families. Finally it was time to take my leave and I looked for Dave so that I could say goodbye. I spotted him in the rear of the hall, and I headed back to speak to him.
“Dave, if you need anything please don’t hesitate to give me a call.” I said.
“I want to thank you for helping me out here Brent. And I was talking to Brittany. She told me that you gave her some good advice to possibly help Meghan out.” Dave said.
“Just remember, I am here for you Dave.” I answered and I left.
Ariel’s daughter Kate, my oldest granddaughter, had just turned 13 and she was just as nearsighted at that age as her mother and her grandmother had been. She had expressed only lukewarm interest in getting contact lenses although Ariel had offered to buy them for her when she was ready. I felt that because so many of her friends wore glasses that Kate would not feel any pressure to wear contacts, and that was just fine with me. All of my grandchildren wore glasses and while I hoped that their prescriptions would remain at the lower end of high myopia I knew that the realities of myopia meant that they would probably end up at least as nearsighted as their parents were.
A few days after Linda’s funeral Kate was over at the house with Ariel one afternoon and since I have always had a special relationship with my first born granddaughter she and I were talking about life in general. I was still thinking about Meghan, Linda and Dave’s granddaughter and I realized that Kate might know her so I asked her if she did. She replied that Meghan was one of her friends from school, but I thought I saw a bit of a guilty look on her face. I didn’t pressure Kate any further, but my mind spent a lot of time thinking about Kate’s reluctance to talk about Meghan over the next few days.
It was about a week later before I managed to get Kate alone again, and this time I pressured her to tell me why she had been so reluctant to discuss anything about Megan with me. I made sure I told Kate that anything she told me would not go any further, even if it was something that I thought I should tell someone else about. Finally Kate reluctantly started to talk.
“You know I was 5 when I got my first glasses poppa. Then when I was almost 6 I needed a new pair. Meghan and I were friends at school and Meghan wanted to borrow my old glasses when I got my new ones.” Kate said.
“Did you let her wear them then?” I asked.
‘Yes, I did. She really liked wearing them and she told me that she could see a lot better when she had them on, just like I could.” Kate replied.
“What happened then?” I asked.
“Meghan wore my glasses all the time when she was at school. After a while she told me that when she took them off she couldn’t see very well anymore. So then she went home and told her mom and dad that she couldn’t see things in the distance, but that she had borrowed my glasses and they really made things clearer. Her parents took her to have her eyes tested and then she got her own glasses.” Kate told me.
“Were her eyes the same prescription as your first glasses were then?” I asked.
“No, they were a little weaker, and Meghan didn’t like that. She chose the same frame as I had then, and after she got her own glasses she continued to wear my old glasses. When I got my next pair of glasses Meghan wanted my old ones, but she couldn’t have them because mom had new lenses put in my old frames.” Kate said.
“What did she do then?” I asked.
“She got me to take the copy of my new prescription from where mom kept it and then she took it to the one hour optical at the mall and she got my newest prescription placed in my old frames.” Kate responded.
“So when you were both in grade 2 Meghan wore the same prescription that you did then?” I asked.
“Yes, and she did the same thing the next year. She got new glasses around the same time that I did that year, and her glasses were not quite as strong as mine had to be, so she got me to bring her my prescription again and she had my prescription placed in her new frames.” Kate replied.
“You are both around the same age, and Meghan’s mom told me that Meghan’s prescription is now around -7.50D. Is that what yours is now Kate?” I queried.
“Yes, Meghan and I are in grade 7 now and we can trade glasses if we want. Once Meghan’s eyes reached the same prescription as mine back in grade 4 she has worn her own prescription all the time and now our eyes are the same. But Meghan really wants to wear thicker glasses just like mom’s and grannies. She wants me to see if I can find any of mom’s old glasses that she can wear. What should I do poppa?” Kate asked.
“What do you think you should do? Do you want me to look to see if I can find a pair of your mom’s old glasses that are a bit stronger than you and Meghan are wearing for her to wear?” I asked.
“I don’t want to see Meghan make her eyes any worse than they are Poppa.” Kate responded.
“I don’t think it matters if you help Meghan or not Kate. If Meghan has a real desire to become a lot more nearsighted and to wear thick glasses nothing you do can stop her. She will just find some way to do it on her own.” I replied.
“What will she do if I don’t help her poppa?” Kate asked.
“There are a few things that she can do Kate. The easiest thing would be for her to go online and order a pair of glasses with stronger lenses from an online optical company. But if she doesn’t want to do that she could take her prescription for her own glasses, white out the numbers, and put in whatever prescription she wants so that she can take it to the one hour optical place.” I said.
“Is it all right if I tell Meghan what you just told me poppa?” Kate asked.
“Yes, you can tell her. And if you want I will look to see if there are any of your aunt Morgan or your mom’s old glasses that Meghan can try. And don’t worry Kate, I won’t say anything about this to anyone.” I told her.
I did find a couple of pairs of Morgan’s old glasses that I thought that Meghan might be able to wear. Morgan’s glasses were in better shape than Ariel’s were because Morgan had worn contacts since she turned 15, so there were a couple of pairs that looked like they had never been worn. They were fairly strong – one pair was at least -10D and the other pair was even stronger. I gave both of these pair to Kate to give to Meghan.
I found the situation to be rather humorous and a little strange. When we were younger Dave seemed to have been interested in Nancy’s myopia, but he never mentioned anything to me other than to ask me how much she could see without her glasses. I had married a very nearsighted young lady who came from a family where myopia seemed to be genetic, and Dave had married a lady who came from a family that had a known history of good eyesight. I had lived with a lifetime of myopia, and now one of Dave’s grandchildren not only was myopic, but had a strong desire to become more and more nearsighted until she reached the point where she was wearing very strong glasses. Would this lead to another family with a future lifetime of myopia?
Specs4ever
October 2015.
Statistics: Posted by Specs4ever — Sun Sep 18, 2016 4:42 am