VANITY is a powerful force in Vision Correction and it causes many people to either not wear vision correction or feel very apprehensive about wearing glasses. Usually, Vanity affects those of the Female persuasion more strongly than Males, but not always. Some years ago, one of the Eyescene members, Macrae, posted his actual experiences. They are well written and pretty funny to look back on. It was serious to him, but Macrae has a very healthy sense of humor and is able to laugh at himself.
Julian, a long time member of ES, compiled Macrae's posts into "Macrae's Story". I edited it slightly to hopefully make it easier to read by BOLDING the poster's name. Here it is.
Macrae’s story
This is non-fiction. The posts are reproduced from EyeScene, with light editing. Many people enjoyed Macrae’s account of getting glasses and finding he needed to wear them full time, not to mention his two brothers!
On the ES New Glasses thread
Macrae 12 Feb 2007, 18:36
I got my first glasses less than a week ago, still going through the self-conscious phase - it feels very strange to have face-to-face conversations with people while wearing glasses. It seems like wearing glasses for just a few days has suddenly weakened my non-glasses vision. The whole experience is a little disconcerting.
Cactus Jack 12 Feb 2007, 19:08
Macrae,
A very normal experience most of us have been through it. In a few more days, you will not notice them except when you are not wearing them. It will help, if you just decide that wearing them is normal. It is unlikely that a few days wear has changed your Rx. You are just getting used to seeing very clearly and your brain doesn't like not seeing clearly and effortlessly. Do you mind telling us your age and your Rx?
C.
Macrae 12 Feb 2007, 19:50
Thanks for the encouragement. I am 40, and the prescription is +1.75 -.75 in each eye. Certain of my coworkers had been needling me for months about my arms not seeming to be long enough lately, so I went to get the reading glasses that I thought come with being 40, but I was told that I might want to wear them more than just for reading and will probably need bifocals before long. Part of the reason I'm having some trouble with conversing while wearing glasses is that things are still looking like warpy parallelograms, and it's hard to talk to people when they're looking warpy. I'm told by the same amused coworkers that I'll get over that and things will go back to having square corners. I hope they are right. They seem to be enjoying this.
Julian 14 Feb 2007, 03:45
Macrae: Your amused so-workers 'seem to be enjoying this'...I get the impression that in a way you are too. Just keep your sense of humour (and keep your specs on!) and your brain will adjust to receiving proper-shaped images from your eyes.
Macrae 14 Feb 2007, 09:27
Thanks Julian. Well I'm not sure that I'm enjoying this. I feel a little awkward wearing glasses. It's not the end of the world and I realize it's inevitable. But at the same time I feel a little like the self-conscious schoolkid who has to put his glasses on in class for the first time. I'm sure that in a few days the novelty will wear off amongst the people at work and I'll feel like glasses have been part of me forever. Just not quite there yet today.
On the Hyperopia and Presbyopia Progression thread
Macrae 21 Sep 2007, 20:50
I posted here around the beginning of the year when I got glasses for the first time. My arms became too short after I turned 40. I have been wearing glasses since then for reading and the computer, but I could not see clearly past about 5 or 6 feet with them on so I haven't been wearing them except for close tasks. For about a week I was self conscious of wearing reading glasses, but I got over it when people stopped commenting on my glasses.
Over the summer I was having problems with my eyes that I thought were related to spending too much time on the computer and/or allergies. I was having stinging eyes, a lot of tears and blinking, and headaches. I went to the doctor and got some allergy drugs but they didn't help very much and my doctor suggested a return to the optometrist and I finally did that on Tuesday.
The verdict there was that my glasses prescription really should work for distance too, and the reason I can't see and am having all these problems is because I am over focusing all the time, and my eye issues and headaches are probably the result of a constant struggle to adjust the focus.
So anyway, the suggested solution to this was that for 10 days I should put my glasses on first thing in the morning and wear them all day, for everything except driving, and I should keep them on even if it seems like I can't see as well far away. This should make my eyes relax. The optometrist predicted that this would make my headache go away, and so far that's true. He also predicts that by the end of this time I will be able to see clearly with my glasses - probably enough to drive, but if not then either I should get different glasses to drive or get bifocals.
I've been wearing glasses full time since Wednesday, and things are getting a lot clearer with them on - and a lot worse with them off. When I woke up this morning the numbers on my clock were all fuzzy until I put my glasses on. In the shower I couldn't read the shampoo bottle label AT ALL, which I could have done before by focusing hard for a short bit of time
Some of my initial self-consciousness has come back, related to being a full time glasses wearer, but then I think to myself that nobody is probably even noticing that change except for me, and if they are they're just mentally noting "guy with glasses" and not reading my mind and seeing "awkward bespectacled geek".
So it seems to be a trade off: no more splitting headache or stinging, blinky eyes - but giving up my remaining ability to focus on anything small and close. And no more pretending I'm not a geek
Julian 22 Sep 2007, 22:26
Macrae: congratulations on getting rid of the headaches and eyestrain. You're discovering for yourself that your optometrist is right: your problem of too-short-arms was caused by latent hyperopia, not presbyopia. You ought to have been told this when you first got your glasses (or maybe you were but didn't take it in?) As you are discovering, you can't have it both ways - you get the benefit of having your vision corrected, and you lose the clear bareyed vision (and the non-geek image!) To me it's a non-issue; but then I like glasses and I like wearing them. Geeks rule OK!
By the way I looked back through the archive for your previous post and can't find it. Did you post under another name, or on a different thread?
EyeSpy 22 Sep 2007, 22:50
Julian
Try the new glasses thread
Macrae
You'll probably find that your self consciousness disappears as the need to wear your glasses to see clearly grows. I was always self conscious about my glasses until it got to the stage where it was more embarrassing not to wear them.
Macrae 23 Sep 2007, 10:04
Thanks Julian and Eyespy.
Yes, I may have posted in a different thread. It was around late January or early February I would guess, as it was a New Years resolution to get to the eye doctor.
At that time I was told something along the lines of "You'll find that glasses will help with the problems you're having with reading and the computer. You may find that they will be helpful for other things as well, and it will not do any harm if you want to wear them to walk around."
But when I got them I did not think that I could wear them for "walking around", because the point where things became blurry was only about 6 feet away. It wasn't explained to me until last week that this blurriness might possibly go away if I wore them more - or that there would be any benefit in that.
I do know that the "blurry point" has moved further outward over just a few days. On Wednesday it drove me crazy to look at bookcases on the other side of my office and not be able to read the titles on the books' spines, or to look out the window and see blurry trees. By Friday I could read the book titles and thought that I was getting used to the blurry trees. This morning I was sitting reading the paper in a coffee shop that is a usual weekend destination for me and I was looking off through the window and across the street and I realized that I could read the sign in the window across the street (local attorney's office, with his name in big letters and his areas of practice listed below in smaller letters). I am positive that I could not do that last week with my glasses on. But the weird thing is that I'm not sure I could ever really read the smaller part of the sign with them off, either, because I don't remember ever reading that information before. My eye doc told me to try wearing my glasses all the time for 10 days and to avoid the temptation to keep doing the glasses on/glasses off test and just leave them on all the time, but I couldn't resist doing that test on this sign. So when I took my glasses off I could see the sign, including the smaller lettering, but I had to think about seeing it "on purpose", which is probably why I never noticed it before. It stayed in focus for a few seconds but then it kind of blurred out - what happens is that the letters seem to develop duplicates of themselves that slide over a bit, and then they get kind of smeared and I have to purposely re-focus again to get it back.
So I do understand now what's been going on: my eyes are so tired because they're always trying to fix that and keep that initial clear focus and it's just very difficult to maintain for more than a few seconds.
As for the self-consciousness thing: I know it's ridiculous, especially since pretty much anybody I know has seen me wear glasses for reading by now. I guess it's just that walking around with glasses on feels a little weird and awkward to me so I feel like others are seeing me that way, when they of course aren't.
Anyway if I really can see better across the street with glasses than without then I probably don't want to be walking around without them.
EyeSpy 23 Sep 2007, 12:46
Macrae
It's kind of weird for a myope to read your posts because with your glasses on you're experiencing exactly what an uncorrected myope does.
And, for those here who don't like to admit they need glasses (You know who you are) your comments about not being able to see across the street are particularly pertinent.
Best of luck, you really will get used to those frames on your nose. And when you finally come to know how critical they are you won't give a damn what other people think or say.
Macrae 23 Sep 2007, 13:20
Yes, with my glasses on I am (or was) experiencing what someone nearsighted would want to get glasses to fix! So you can understand that it is has been a little bit difficult over the last few days to make myself keep my glasses on all the time, since there's the blur whenever I look off into the distance and taking them off would have made things like trees clearer. (Then again, I don't make a habit of studying trees in minute detail and am not sure why it is such a big deal if they are out of focus for me for a few days or weeks.) But the blur is getting less blurry, and I'm not feeling as much like everything looks strange, so I'm not having as many thoughts about taking them off to be able to see!
I guess the theory is that if I force myself to wear the glasses it will force my eyes to relax and that if I keep this up for a week or two it should be enough to knock out the tendency to constantly pull so hard to over focus. It is weird to be doing something deliberately that will result in worse unaided vision. But just not having a headache for few days has probably been worth it.
Earlier I said that everybody has seen me with reading glasses. That's not 100% true. My family hasn't ever seen me with glasses. I'm having dinner with my brother and his family tonight and I've never mentioned anything to him about getting glasses in the first place, so I have a little apprehension about showing up bespectacled - but it just has to be gotten over.
I'm enjoying all the threads here - it's good to hear others' experiences.
Macrae 23 Sep 2007, 21:06
My Evening: Part 1
Now I have an incident to relate: I went to my brother's house for dinner and I was determined to wear the damn glasses, even though as I was driving there I had a feeling a lot like the scared/sick/embarrassed feeling I'd get as a child when anticipating something like having to speak in front of an audience.
My brother lives about an hour away and we see each other on average once a month or so. He hadn't seen my glasses yet, nor had they come up in conversation.
This brother, Greg, got glasses himself when he was a teenager. When he was about 17 it was obvious to everyone but him (or maybe him too) that he was getting pretty nearsighted, but when anyone would catch him squinting to read signs or recognize someone across a parking lot he would say the sun was in his eyes, that's all, and he definitely didn't need glasses. Mom finally issued an ultimatum after he hit a parked car in the lot at the beach (again the sun was in his eyes): either get glasses or he couldn't take his car to college in the fall. She said she couldn't afford any more increases in her car insurance, but I'm sure she was mostly afraid Greg's blurry driving would get him or somebody else killed. With great dramatic protests he caved and went to the optometrist. I am 5 years older and was not living at home anymore so I did not see him with glasses until the winter holidays, and then they would disappear into their case the split second that he stopped the car or the instant the lights came on in a movie theater. When he came home again the next summer he had contacts, which he's worn full time ever since. I've never even seen a picture of him in glasses. I'm sure this all influenced my own feelings about wearing glasses.
Macrae 23 Sep 2007, 21:06
My Evening: Part 2
So back to the present: I wasn't wearing my glasses to drive to Greg's house, but I put them on when I got to their driveway, and felt that sharp twinge of self-consciousness. I saw Greg in the yard with the kids and got the idea that maybe he wouldn't notice my new look right away if I got past him quickly, so I called out "hi Greg I'll just take this in to Susan [Greg's wife]", waving the bottle of wine to distract him as I rushed across his porch to the front door. But I wasn't quick enough. He said "whoa… come back here a second." So I knew he'd noticed, and I stopped and turned around and he came up on the porch and smiled at me, and I looked at him sheepishly.
His gleeful response to my new look: "I knew this day would come!" He proceeded to tell me that I looked very scholarly and that it's about time I got glasses since I was always "the bookish one" who should have had them all along. He was trying to be complimentary - I think - in telling me that I have a "glasses type of face". This makes me suppose that all these years people (or maybe just Greg) have looked at me and imagined a "Glasses Coming Soon!" sign across my nose... All during this conversation I was fighting the strong impulse to take off the glasses and hide them away forever.
So I explained about getting reading glasses last winter, and the recent headaches, etc., and the current full time experiment. And I confessed to feeling very self-conscious and still being in the "getting used to it" phase. And I said "maybe I'll end up wearing contacts all the time, like you."
...at which point Greg's daughter Emily, age 6, came up on the porch, and interjected: "Daddy wears glasses most times."
Me: "Really?"
Greg: (smiling a little and looking at his shuffling feet) "Well, no, um, for work sometimes. It's more comfortable at the computer."
Emily: "You were wearing them today Daddy" (note that it's Sunday - not a work day for Greg.)
Macrae 23 Sep 2007, 21:07
My Evening: Part 3
At this point I'm realizing that this probably means that Greg wears his glasses a lot, on a regular basis, and that he might have put contacts in specifically because I was coming to visit. And I can tell that Greg knows that I'm realizing this, and that now he's feeling the same way I was feeling a minute before. He's smiling nervously and not making eye contact. "She's just so observant" he says, shrugging at Emily. So naturally the only thing for me to do is insist upon seeing him in these glasses right away. He protests a little, but there's no good reason he can come up with on the spot to not just go get them, especially since I'm standing there all obviously embarrassed about being four-eyed myself and yet bravely persevering at bespectacled geekdom. So he goes into the house for a couple minutes.
During that time I think to myself that this whole awkward schoolboy-ish interaction could probably go a long way toward instilling similar glasses-phobia in young Emily (who is surely destined for four-eyedness herself since both Susan and Greg wear glasses...) and that we really should just stop being so childish/vain/self-conscious right now before we pass this on to the next generation. And where does the whole glasses stigma come from in the first place?
My deep thoughts were interrupted by Greg returning, with a ceremonious "Ta Da!", in a pair of oval silver wire rims that I think look more "scholarly" than my own glasses and have lenses much thicker than he had that winter 17 years ago. I told him they suited him. I didn't ask how long he'd been wearing them "most times", or whether (and why) he purposely wore contacts every time he saw me, though I do wonder how far back that's been going on... I didn't want to make him feel any sillier than I think he already felt.
I think both of us feel relieved to have our very ridiculous "big secret" finally out in the open. Everybody's glasses stayed on through dinner. I would guess that the next time we see each other we'll both be wearing glasses.
Julian 24 Sep 2007, 04:17
Macrae: When Eyespy pointed me to the 'New glasses' thread I was slightly abashed to discover that we'd had a conversation on the same lines in February. I was also interested to note that you'd been advised to wear your glasses for more than just reading and close work, but obviously hadn't taken that on board at the time
Finally, I loved you story about your evening at your brother's - two grown men behaving like schoolboys who don't want to be seen wearing glasses, Greg changing into contacts before you arrived, and you shamefacedly putting them on anyway. Well done you!
Sera 24 Sep 2007, 07:48
Macrae,
That's also what led me to the optometrist, that "tired eyes" feeling that was present (along with some mind-numbing headaches), no matter the hours of sleep that were gotten. I'm glad to hear that you're rid of those; no small thing that. It does seem strange that what once was easy without our glasses is now not attainable. I tried to read in bed without my specs last night, and it was an effort in futility, so I just plopped my glasses on and settled in. It's not that long ago that I COULD see them without a struggle, but the operative word here is that. Who wants to struggle to be able to see? So wear your specs with your head held high, and worry not about what others are thinking!
Macrae 25 Sep 2007, 19:04
Tuesday, Part 1
For anybody who read my posts about my Sunday visit, there was some peculiar followup this evening:
My brother Greg called earlier, ostensibly about advice on a home repair issue. But he didn't really seem very attentive to my detailed fix-it instructions, and started shifting the conversation around from one odd topic to another, until finally he asked whether I'd talked to Mom lately. I said no, not in a few days. He said "so you didn't mention seeing me on Sunday?" Then in a telepathic flash I understood that what he wanted to know was whether I'd spilled his big weird secret. So, in a tone intended to convey my full understanding AND my smile over the phone lines, I said "no, I thought I'd tell her all about THAT when I call her tomorrow!" (but I think I really sounded more like my 10-year-old self chanting "I'm telling! I'm telling!" upon catching a younger sibling guilty of some infraction.)
He laughed, and there was a long pause.
Feeling that it was fair to continue in this vein since he'd brought up the topic - even though he hadn't quite - I said "Greg there's something I just have to ask..."
He said "I knew you would."
I said "How long has that been going on?"
Greg: "A long time. Since my second year of grad school."
Me: "That was ten years ago!"
Greg: "Twelve."
Me: "Greg, I've seen you at least a hundred times since then."
Greg: "I know."
Me: "So why...."
Greg: "I don't know."
Me: "What if you'd run into me somewhere unexpectedly?"
Greg, laughing: "That's happened three times. But I always saw you before you saw me. " [I laughed at the irony of that]. "So I had a few seconds to put things away.... But last time I thought you might know."
Me: "How?"
Greg: "Marks?"
Me: "No, I didn't know. Guess I'm not that observant. When was this?"
Greg: "July. Remember at the car show at the fairgrounds?"
Me: "Yeah... but we must have spent two hours together that day!"
Greg: "Yep. Couldn't see shit."
I'm trying not to laugh too much at this point, at the craziness of twelve years of fear and subterfuge over something most people would never think to hide, and also at the apparent game of keeping up the conversation without using a certain word...
Macrae 25 Sep 2007, 19:09
Tuesday, Part 2
Me: "Ok, so Mom doesn't know... Who else?"
Greg: "Alan [our stepfather], Jason [our middle brother], Rebecca and Kate [our step sisters]."
Me: "Why?"
Greg: "I told you, I don't know. It was just hard with people who knew me back before. Then it went on a long time."
Me: "But Susan, your kids, everybody else...."
Greg: "Yes of course. They all see me everyday. Friends, people at work, everybody else... Put it this way: if you asked any of them to describe me they'd mention that."
Me: "Susan must know that you're hiding "that" from your family?"
Greg: "Yeah she's known that as long as she's known any of you. And every single time she tells me I'm conceited and crazy."
Me: "That IS crazy, Greg. What was the big deal - "
Greg: (cutting me off, and starting to sound a little irritated at my relentless and admittedly judgmental questions) "Well, you said yours were a New Years' resolution?
Me: "Yes."=
Greg: "It's October. Have any of those people seen them yet?"
Me (feeling my face go red): "Point taken."
Another long pause.
Greg: "Want to know what's crazier?"
Me: "Naturally"
Greg: "I can't even talk to any of you on the phone with them. I have to take them off."
Me: "That's astonishingly weird, Greg... Wait, what about now? Now that I know?"
Greg: "It's ok now."
Me: "They're on?"
Greg: "Yes. Yours?"
Me: "On."
Greg: "Susan is really happy you caught me."
Me: "Are you happy?"
Greg: "Relieved. It was inevitable."
Me: "Greg, how about if I just tell Mom about us both? You know she'll tell everyone, and then it will be all done with for both of us."
Greg: "No!"
Me: "Relax, I won't. I'll be quiet like Susan if you want, and just give you hell afterward. But sooner or later your kids are probably going to blow your cover again."
Greg: "Yeah, I know. Damn kids!"
Me: "Ok, look, what if you don't tell anybody - just show up and let them see?"
Greg: "Like you did on Sunday."
Me: "Yeah, that was awful for a couple minutes... "
Greg: "I could tell."
Me: "I'm going to get that over with again, with the rest of them, when I see them all at Thanksgiving. Why don't we just... show up together?"
Greg: (with less humor and more finality) "I'll think about it."
And then, just like that, he started talking about his home renovation projects again - subject closed - for now.
Julian 26 Sep 2007, 09:05
Macrae: can this possibly get any better?
Macrae 26 Sep 2007, 18:47
Better? It might depend on your perspective, Greg's bravery, my ability to resist the temptation to just out him by email to Mom...
Can Greg finally integrate his social masks, with the support of a sympathetic (sometimes shaming) sibling in a similar predicament, in time for Thanksgiving? Or might exposure to Greg's acute focus on self-as-seen-by-others only increase that tendency clearly apparent in me? (A few days ago I would not really have thought the latter, but last night I dreamed of getting contacts!)
How others see me is one thing, but seeing is another, and on that front things are no more clear-cut: today marks Day 8 of Glasses All Day Everyday. Trees got their leaves back by the weekend, but the leaves have soft edges as if every one is dipped in wax, and they're just staying that way now. I scan the book titles on the shelves across a room easily, but if anything the words on this screen are less distinct than ever and my left eye in particular has given up any attempt to sharpen them for me. So I can't see what I'm writing clearly but I clearly see where this is going...
Julian 26 Sep 2007, 23:04
OK, so I meant better as a story, and I think you posted in that spirit. Of course that isn't the whole picture - but as teachers used to say to school leavers, I shall watch your future progress with considerable interest - both of you! And of course there's Jason as well... By the way, if things are going the way you hint at, contacts won't solve everything!
Macrae 27 Sep 2007, 17:17
Oh I see - so you're hoping I'll next discover that Jason is also teetering on the cusp of Presbyopia? Or leading the secret double life of a nearsighted nerd, tormented by equal parts vanity and insanity? Or that he dreams of the day his wife can't make out a menu, while moonlighting at Lenscrafters in the mall? All possible, but none likely.
I think Jason is 20/20, though admittedly I don't see him that much - and it seems seeing only goes so far. But Jason is the no-nonsense, decisive, slightly overkill type - so if he ever did have any vision issue I'd expect to hear "the tv was a little blurry last week, so I got laser surgery yesterday" - end of story. In fact that's the suggestion I'm expecting from him when he sees me. Jason has a knack for sounding practical, helpful, and critical all at once - and he's always dead sure that his solution is the only sensible one.
From my mom I expect the half-sad smile that means "in the blink of an eye my little boy is middle-aged." And from Alan probably "Welcome to the club!" and an offer of one of a hundred tiny screwdriver kits he's stashed all over the house, ever-ready for the rescue of his own disaster-plagued glasses. But, if I can prod Greg into joining this big reveal then I get just half of this embarrassment - and maybe less than half, if attention is doled out proportionate to lens thickness.
Now Julian, about contacts: are there not such thing as bifocal contacts? I've never given contacts much thought before, but I'd like to think I have options...
Julian 28 Sep 2007, 01:22
Yes Macrae, I believe there are bifocal contacts, but I don't know how well they work. There's also monovision: wearing one contact for near vision and one for far off; strange as it may seem that is said to work better. But other people know more about that; I'm not into contacts, and I hope you don't get seduced into going that way like Greg. You talk abut Jason being no-nonsense and decisive. I think that is how you are acting so far: "I was getting eyestrain so I'm wearing glasses." Don't let the side down; carry on 'bravely persevering at bespectacled geekdom' - your phrase! - and I don't see how Greg can do anything but follow your example. he admits it's crazy anyway.
Aubrac 28 Sep 2007, 02:18
Macrae
Yes there are bifocal contacts and I've worn them for about ten years.
They actually work very well with no apparent line or visual difference between the distance and add section. Also you do not need to tilt your head or read at a different angle.
They are limited to a maximum add of +2.50 possibly for some technical reason although someone may know of a manufacturer who does stronger ones.
Macrae 02 Oct 2007, 20:46
Two weeks ago my optometrist told me to try wearing my formerly-worn-for-reading-only glasses full time for 10 days, to relax my eyes and ease a bunch of eyestrain symptoms. I was supposed to serve out that sentence and then either discover that all was now clear through my glasses at any distance, or return to the optometrist for prescription tweaking.
So I wore them full time for 10 days. And the symptoms subsided. And things got clearer over time, though not quite perfectly. So what did I do next? I bet you're thinking "went back to the eye doctor. Duh."
But no I did not. Instead I went camping for four days - and I left my glasses home.
I don't know why I thought that was a good idea. I reasoned that camping, hiking, and boating are outwardly-focused enough that glasses weren't critical for seeing what I needed to see. And except for some minor cooking-related complications that was technically true. But though most anything was see-able, nothing quite looked right. And it didn't take long at all before I had a mind-splitting, teeth-clenching headache that I tried to kill with caffeine and pain pills. Then I tried to kill it with sleep. But every day I woke up with some of the headache left from the night before, and every day I was more tired than the night before...
Macrae 03 Oct 2007, 16:47
When I came back from my camping trip the first thing I did was put on my glasses. My eyes thanked me. My headache mostly subsided. I looked at the tired four-eyed nerd in the mirror and sighed. I asked him if we should look into getting contacts. He made the point that taking out contacts might not turn out to be all that convenient in a tent in the dark in the woods. And he thought that though we looked very tired we aren't really any more (or less) hideous with glasses than without, and not only that but glasses are somewhat of a stereotypical accessory in our field anyway, and if anything it's probably better for our professional image that we remain bespectacled. Also he suggested that maybe I've been conditioned (no little bit by my exposure to Greg) to feel that I need to bemoan the needing of glasses, when really it is not so terrible and I might even like them - just a little. So I told my reflection that I'd take his opinions under advisement (and Julian's too), and I resigned myself to no more bare-eyed camping trips. I should probably schedule a return to the optometrist soon.
mattp 05 Oct 2007, 06:20
Macrae--Your writing style and your story are both fascinating to read. Please continue to keep us informed on your glasses-wearing progress! Matt
Macrae 07 Oct 2007, 10:40
mattp: Thank you - I'm glad that you're enjoying my "glasses wearing progress". Ever since I was a child I've found that writing has helped me work out various things about which I have conflicting feelings, and here I seem to have the benefit of an understanding audience : )
I think two things need to happen to make me feel finished with the "progress" part of this and at peace with the fully bespectacled version of myself: 1) I need to go back and make sure I have the correct/optimal prescription, and 2) I need to get over my apprehension about my family's reaction by just letting them see me wear glasses.
The latter probably can't happen until we are all together at Thanksgiving, which means I have 6+ weeks still to worry about that - but I know that eventually it will all be over in just a few minutes of uncomfortable attention. On the issue of the prescription: it doesn't quite seem right. My perception is that beyond 10 or 12 feet my glasses are too strong, but at the same time my naked vision is not what it used to be. Up close one eye is happier than the other. I'd like to get that figured out as quickly as possible, so I scheduled an appointment for Wednesday. But now it looks like I am going to be out of town most of that day on work-related matters and it will have to get pushed back. So: I'm trying to make progress at making progress, but it's going a little slowly... Stay tuned.
Macrae 07 Oct 2007, 16:45
Cactus Jack, Julian, mattp etc.: do you have stories on here somewhere about when you first got glasses, and when you started wearing them all the time, if it wasn't right away? I am interested in others' experiences.
Julian 07 Oct 2007, 17:50
The 'When I was at school' thread has several stories of that kind. Scroll to the bottom and click on 'View all posts'.
Macrae 08 Oct 2007, 12:37
Thanks Julian. It took awhile to read all those, but wow - so much detail recalled, such great significance placed on those occurrences, and what a staggering amount of worry and trauma experienced by many of the little glasses-wearers of the world.
I will contribute the few school-age glasses stories I can remember.
Macrae 10 Oct 2007, 17:31
Progress to report: I thought I'd have to cancel today's eye appointment because of a work-related trip today, but the optometrists' office offered to move me to an early evening appointment and I managed to make it back in time.
I'm too tired tonight to write a detailed account. I promise to do so soon. But in the meantime: anybody want to play "guess the prescription"?
Macrae 12 Oct 2007, 17:02
In the interest of progress I went back to the optometrist a few days ago. Since I had to move my original appointment to later in the day I ended up not seeing the eye doc I saw the last two times (the one who prescribed my first-ever glasses last winter, and then last month told me to try wearing them all the time, as a solution to continuing headaches and eyestrain.) I saw the other doc in that office, but he seemed to have browsed through my file and understood what was going on. I explained that I did faithfully wear the glasses all the time for a couple of weeks, and that it substantially helped my headaches. But my distance vision seems a little too annoyingly blurry to feel comfortable wearing glasses all the time - and definitely not good for driving. I didn't mention that things up close are not really too great either - because I thought that if I did I might steer things toward ending up with bifocals, and that if I didn't tell him that part then maybe he wouldn't start to think in that direction unnecessarily...
So we went through all of the "which is better, 1 or 2" types of tests with the chart projected on the wall, and at the end of that he said that my distance vision is "not bad, but less than optimal" because of an amount of astigmatism, and he said that I was right that my glasses are not the right prescription for distance, but that he recommended glasses for driving - especially at night or in the rain.
Then we did the part with the card with the rows of progressively more tiny text, clipped just in front of the lens-picking gadget. He flipped things around until I could read the tiniest row. Then while he was moving the gadget out of the way he sort of sighed and said "ok, are you ready for the news?"
I said I guessed so (while thinking "no!"). He said "You need progressive lenses." And then he told me that I'm at an age where prescriptions start to change a lot, and that it's normal, and so on and so forth. And even though I obviously suspected that this is where things would wind up, I still felt a little funny (dread mixed with little bits of embarrassment, amusement and surprise?) He said something like "are you ok with this?", and I thought to myself "well do I have any choice?" but said "yes, I suppose so."
He explained that I will be able to see at every distance, and that I won't need to wear them all the time but that I might want to because my headaches may have as much to do with astigmatism as with my small amount of farsightedness, and that for a few weeks I should try to wear them all the time to adjust, and then it would be up to me when to use them. He said another option would be lined trifocals (!), because that would also work for distance, computer, and reading, but I think he could tell from my expression that I didn't like the sound of that.
I have the prescription but I've been much too busy with work and/or exhausted the last few days to do anything about it. I guess I will have to go look at some glasses this weekend.
Anybody have any advice or dire warnings about progressives?
Cactus Jack12 Oct 2007, 18:22
Macrae,
The choice of progressives, bifocals, or trifocals depends on the kind of work you do, your life style and your Rx. About the dumbest thing you can do is make an emotional decision instead of a practical one. Remember, glasses are a tool to help you function efficiently and comfortably, nothing more.
I'm sure there are as many suggestions as there are members, but it would be helpful is you could answer the above items.
C.
BTW, I have worn trifocals for about 35 years, since my mid-30s, and have tried almost every other lens style. I read a lot, work with computers, large drawings and settled on trifocals for the sharpest vision and maximum convenience. I also have a pair of single vision reading glasses that I use when I plan to read for several hours.
Cactus Jack 12 Oct 2007, 18:26
Macrae,
Also, if I was younger and active on the social scene, I might have a pair of progressives to wear for special occasions where all I needed to do was drive, talk to people, and read menus.
C.
Macrae 12 Oct 2007, 19:42
Thanks for the reply. In answer to your questions: the prescription says: +1.25 -0.75 x 110, +1.25 -.75 x 050 Add* +1.00 (+1.25 /c PAL*) As for the kind of work I do: it sounds like it has some similarities to what you do (I spend a lot of time on computers, and large drawings figure significantly), though I just spent a major part of the last several days driving around and meeting with people. I spend a lot of time reading, and also a lot of time outdoors.
I'm trying to be practical about things and while I clearly have had various emotional reactions to the whole glasses adventure I'd like to think I've been reasonably practical about things so far. The optometrist suggested that progressives were the best solution and I didn't have any reason to doubt that (and of course he knows what I do for a living and such). He didn't think that bifocals would work well because of switching between reading and computer. He mentioned trifocals as a possibility but didn't tell me anything about why that would be a better or worse idea - but it sounds like you're saying that I could have trouble if I want to do things besides drive, socialize and read menus. So: please give me suggestions and information! Thanks.
Cactus Jack 12 Oct 2007, 20:45
Macrae,
For your Rx and your description of what you do, I think progressives might work for you - for a while and I think your optometrist is right about skipping bifocals and going to trifocals when you need more add.
I'll try to explain my thinking to help you understand my reasoning if you want. However, it is getting late here in Texas and I have had a long day so I'll need to finish this discussion tomorrow. Sound familiar?
May I ask where you live?
C.
Macrae 12 Oct 2007, 21:13
Cactus Jack: thanks for the info and I look forward to the continuation As for my location: it's somewhere in the cold and windy north, and it's always later here than in Texas, except during the hour in April when daylight savings time has started here but not yet there. Good night.
Geoff 14 Oct 2007, 16:18
Macrae, let us know how you do wearing your new glasses fulltime. I think you will like wearing multifocal lenses.
Macrae 14 Oct 2007, 17:49
Geoff: I am sure I'll let you know how I do. Writing and conversing on this board is fun and therapeutic for me. But I think it will be awhile before I know how I'll do. I did spend some time this weekend looking at glasses. I went to three different places and tried on seemingly hundreds of frames, and I talked to each place about lenses.
One of the places told me that my prescription is pretty low with a smallish add, and that in that case it's supposed to be easier to get used to progressive lenses and also that it doesn't matter as much which specific lens I choose. The second place told me mostly the same thing, but that because of what I do at work I should probably also have plain reading glasses because progressives might be difficult. The third place said I should get some special "wide corridor" lenses to help address that, which are of course more expensive.
In any case all of those places said they'd have to order any of those lenses (except if I want just single-vision glasses for reading) and that it will take 10 days to 2 weeks. So it will be awhile before I can write anything about wearing them. And I haven't even ordered anything yet, because I haven't really processed all of that information/opinion and because I also didn't find anything in all of those hundreds of frames that I really liked. I don't love the frames I'm currently wearing either. They're ok, but when I picked them I didn't know that I would be wearing them all or a lot of the time and they're not necessarily the look that I want for that. Maybe if I do end up needing two separate pair of glasses I would keep these as the "reading" pair and pick some new ones as the "rest of the time" pair...
If anybody else wants to give me advice I'd appreciate it.
Visitor 14 Oct 2007, 21:32
Macrae
Having trouble locating your early post with prescription. Can you fill us in?
mattp 15 Oct 2007, 06:42
Macrae--
The trifocals/progressives decision is a big one, and one that has been discussed many times on various threads here on eyescene. My suggestion is to go to a place where you can exchange the lenses if whichever you choose doesn't work out.
I tried progressives years ago, but found i could not get enough width in my field of vision for all the computer/desk work I do at an intermediate distance. I switched to FT35 trifocals, and have had fantastic vision even as my RX has changed through the years. Yes, there is the line issue, and i was uncomfortable with it at first as i was only in my early forties. But i got over that.
Good luck!
Macrae 16 Oct 2007, 15:31
I ordered some glasses today - with progressive lenses. Mattp, I took your advice and made sure that I would be allowed to exchange the lenses if things don't work out. I am hoping that this works, but the optician at the glasses shop was a little skeptical too when I told him my occupation, and also when I chose some frames that are a little narrow vertically. But he did a bunch of measuring and then said it seemed like it should work because of the way the frames sit on my face.
I figure this is worth a shot. If I can't see then I will consider some other solution. But they said +/- 10 days until they're ready, so I'm waiting and worrying.
"Visitor": my current prescription is down the page, in my October 12 post. I think the one that I got last winter is in another thread. It wasn't much different than this one, except that it was mostly for reading and turned out to be too blurry for my distance vision, and at the same time things were a little blurry up close too.
I'm looking forward to everything being headache-free AND sharp. Or am I dreaming?
Macrae 18 Oct 2007, 15:12
Yikes! the dreaded glasses are ready already. I thought I had a lot more time to worry about them But when I got home this evening there was a message that they're in. I guess tomorrow I will go see how I see with them. Is there any big trick to it? If so will they teach me whatever I need to know?
Tony 18 Oct 2007, 15:51
Mac,
It sounds silly, but the trick is not to raise your eyes up and down, but to point to nose where you want to see, and you will automatically see through the proper portion of the lens. It takes some getting used to. I was advised to wear them solidly for two weeks. That did work.
Guest 18 Oct 2007, 22:26
Macrae
Have you continued to wear your specs fulltime? If yes then you should have too much more to get used to with the new prescription.
Macrae 20 Oct 2007, 18:46
Tony: thanks for the advice. "Guest": I wore them for about 10 days all the time, and then I didn't wear them at all for 4 or 5 days while I was camping (and got a splitting headache for it) and after that I continued to wear them most of the time for the last couple weeks. They did a great job of preventing headaches, but they were still too blurry for very far away. My original eye doctor had said that they were the right prescription and that my eyes should be able to relax so that the prescription would work for all distances, but that really only happened up to a point. I couldn't wear them for driving and I had to take them off for things in the far distance because they were just too blurry. The second eye doctor got pretty much the same prescription from the machine that they use initially, but he had more of the attitude that if I couldn't see then the glasses weren't right, and he changed the prescription so it wasn't as strong in the distance, and he tweaked the astigmatism axis parts just a little. And here is what's happened since then...
Macrae 20 Oct 2007, 18:55
New Glasses 1:
I picked up "the dreaded glasses" yesterday afternoon, and: holy freakin' crap! The 2nd eye doctor hit on the magic prescription. I can see a whole level of detail that I didn't know was there. Like did you know that the glass in traffic lights has tiny square waffle patterns in it? You probably did, but I didn't.
When I put them on in the glasses store it was immediately apparent that everything was brighter and shinier and sharper than it had been lately (or ever, it seems). The store people said the frames were crooked and needed some adjustment and I actually felt like I didn't want to hand them back, in case they might do something that would mess up the perfect focus. But I let them straighten them out and they spent some time with me making sure I could see in the distance and read small text. In addition to Tony's "point your nose where you want to look" advice they told me: don't wear them to drive home, get used to them at home for awhile before you drive; be very careful on curbs and stairs, hold onto handrails, your feet may not be where you think they are; wear them all the time for a week to 10 days. (No problem, I don't want to take them off.)
Macrae 20 Oct 2007, 18:59
New Glasses 2:
I haven't had any trouble with stairs and curbs. Everything in the distance is shockingly sharp. I went to my usual coffee shop this morning and could read all the signs across the street, the blackboards with the menus on them, the license plates of the cars going by, and the magazine in front of me. Outdoors it was an exceptionally beautiful fall day to begin with, but everything was so clear and bright and colorful it almost felt TOO clear. I was out driving in the dark this evening and all the road signs and mailbox numbers were perfect, without their usual fuzzy or double/blurry edges. I know, you're probably thinking I should have realized a long time ago that they weren't supposed to have fuzzy double edges! Around dusk a couple deer ran across the road in front of my car, and just after that I saw a camouflaged bow hunter walking along the side of the road in the near-dark. I've never seen either of those things on that road before, and I have to think that's just coincidence that I spotted them tonight, but the possibility does exist that there've been deer (and God knows what else) all over the place that I just couldn't see in the dark before : )
Closer things are a little tricky. It's a little difficult so far to find the right spot to look through sometimes. I had the biggest problem with that when I went to the store this afternoon, because it was tough to find the right spot to use to read things at the distance of store shelves, and it was especially weird to try to scan a shelf horizontally - things do go in and out of focus and warp and change shape a little. Reading a book or magazine seems pretty simple. The computer looks ok, though some icons at the periphery of the screen are a little warped/not square. But there are things that aren't that easy: I have a habit of lying on my back on the couch with the laptop computer propped on a couple couch pillows on top of me. That does not work now, because in that position the correct part of the lenses is not in the trajectory between my eyes and the screen. Lying on my side on the couch to watch tv also doesn't work. But I have to think maybe this is a good thing, as I seem to be spending way too much time lying on the couch... I also had a weird experience where I had filled a kettle at the kitchen sink and reached to shut off the water while walking away toward the stove, and my fingers just totally missed the end of the faucet lever. It's pretty weird to find that objects aren't where you just saw them. I don't know yet how well these glasses will do at work where I have to read and work on things bigger than a book or a magazine, and switch a lot between the computer and the things on my desk. I'm optimistic because there don't seem to be too many problems yet, but I guess I'll find out on Monday.
The optometrist said that after the getting-used-to-it period I should wear them for reading or any other type of close work, computer, tv, movies, and driving, but otherwise it's up to me to decide how much to wear them or not. I have some still-lingering vanity/self-consciousness issues, but really I can't think of any legitimate reason not wear to them all the time.
Cactus Jack 20 Oct 2007, 19:43
Macrae,
Sounds like you are doing well and your narrative makes good reading. Now you know how the rest of us felt when we got our first glasses.
There will likely be some comments, but "I didn't know what I was missing" and "I wish I had not waited this long to get them." are excellent responses. In fact, it may cause some others to wonder if they are missing anything visually. Don't worry about what other people think. Remember, you wear glasses for YOUR benefit, not for theirs.
Would you mind posting your revised Rx?
C.
Macrae 20 Oct 2007, 20:41
Cactus Jack: the original prescription from January was: +1.75 -.75 x 105, +1.75 -.75 x 042 I got those because I was having problems reading. Actually my coworkers (who almost all wear glasses) were picking on me that my arms were getting too short, and after awhile that shamed me into going to Eye Doctor #1. I got those glasses and just wore them for reading/computer. But in the summer I was getting headaches and watery eyes all the time and, after determining that the cause was not allergies, I went back to Doc #1 a month or two ago and was told to try wearing those same glasses all the time for a couple weeks. He felt that my eyes would adapt to the prescription. As I wrote below, I tried that as directed and it did help the headaches and watery eyes, but those glasses were too blurry for the distance, and not that clear for close up either. When I went back last week I saw a different optometrist in the same office (Doc #2) who came up with: +1.25 -0.75 x 110, +1.25 -.75 x 050 Add +1.25 - which seems much better so far, even though it doesn't look hugely different numerically.
Mattp 21 Oct 2007, 07:40
Macrae--
Congratulations on the good vision! That is the way glasses should work.
Problems like the tea kettle not being where you thought it would be will improve--practice will tell you where things are. Unfortunately, as you get used to the progressives, it becomes more difficult to not wear them because the brain gets used to accommodating for things in their new positions. I wear contacts instead of trifocals for sports and haircuts and dentist appointments and such, and the transition to them is tough.
Problems like trying to see the computer while lying down will not improve. With the trifocals, I've had to give up watching TV lying on the couch (a good thing anyway) because I can't get my eyes to look through the top of the lenses without odd twists of the head. Reading in bed--where the book is only 6-8 inches from my eyes--is another problem that is unsolvable.
Keep us posted on how the computer vision is at work--
Matt
Cactus Jack 21 Oct 2007, 09:16
Macrae,
What you experienced with the +1.75 was the fact that your crystalline lenses can only relax so far and the +1.75 actually caused the same effect as being slightly myopic, but they were a good test. The +1.25 is what you needed. The slight difference in the cylinder could almost be considered fine tuning.
Mattp,
My solution to the reading in bed problem was to get some single vision reading glasses with the same Rx as a +3.00 add in my regular glasses.
C.
Geoff 21 Oct 2007, 15:16
Macrae, congrats on your new glasses. What type of frames did you get? Let us know how your co-workers react to you in specs fulltime. BTW, how old are you?
Clare 22 Oct 2007, 12:12
Macrae - the self-conscious thing can be very destructive so try to get over it if you can. I have been vain about glasses for many years (you only have to read posts here from the past to get a clue as to how vain…) and, though I now wear contacts, the funny thing is that whenever I do wear glasses people compliment me. I don't expect that. It's likely that colleagues and friends will actually think that your new facial accessory looks good! I travel a lot and take quite an interest in how well-chosen glasses can improve someone's appearance - on the train tonight I observed someone whose glasses made them look polished and professional, and another who appeared to be wearing new frames which made him look years older. So you see, glasses can actually be made to work in your favour to change/update/restyle your look.
I hope you get lots of compliments from your colleagues!
Macrae 22 Oct 2007, 17:17
Geoff: I am 41. My new frames can be found here:
http://www.bevelspecs.com/
(they are #3580) The reading glasses I had before were more subtle - thin matte grey rounded off rectangle wire frames. But I didn't like those as much - they were kind of, erm… "scholarly" as my brother described it. I think they were OK for my idea of "reading", but they aren't how I wanted to look all the time. I like these new ones much better.
Clare: I know you're right that the self-consciousness thing needs to be gotten over. Actually for the most part I've been using this forum heavily to work through those issues, but I've been behaving outwardly much more reasonably/practically I think. I've been wearing reading glasses at work for most of the year, and recently I was wearing them mostly full time for several weeks, so co-workers are used to seeing me in glasses (or I'm used to being seen in glasses by co-workers?) Some of those people are the ones who pushed me into getting an eye exam last winter because they could tell I was having issues with my near vision. With those people it was more embarrassing being picked on about not being able to see than finally showing up with glasses - even though some of them teased me good-naturedly when I did get the glasses! Most of my friends have seen me in those reading glasses, and I'm not too concerned about them seeing the new ones. My own biggest self-consciousness roadblock is wearing glasses around my family - the idea of which fills me with dread. But even though it was very tough (for reasons I can't quite figure out or express) I did wear them last time I saw one of my brothers, and it turned out fine (I wrote about that experience some weeks back) and I don't have any worries about seeing him now with my newer glasses. I expect to summon up enough bravery to show up bespectacled for the rest of the family soon, but it remains a scary idea.
As for the day at work: I chickened out and didn't wear any glasses to an office-wide meeting first thing this morning. In that setting I thought that all it would take was one person commenting on my glasses to start a whole big glasses discussion amongst everyone, and that would have been a little more embarrassing attention than I wanted to deal with. But after the meeting I put them on when I got back to my desk and they've been on ever since. I felt perfectly ok with people noticing on a one-at-a-time basis. It turned out that nobody said anything at all. This could be because my new glasses look ridiculous (if so then so be it). But it could also be that they understood I was a little uncomfortable with the issue, or that new glasses just aren't that noteworthy (I think that every single one of my co-workers has glasses or contacts, so I'm not exactly unique.)
Macrae 22 Oct 2007, 17:22
more about my day....
I didn't have any huge vision problems with the glasses at work. After a while I didn't notice them or think about them much. I have a dual-monitor setup for my computer and I think this may have trained me to move my head around a lot to see even before I had glasses, so I didn't have any trouble with the computer. I was able to see the full extents of big drawings on my desk easily, and I think that these glasses are better than my old ones for very close reading material, though I do notice the peripheries of pages being a little blurred when I'm looking at the center of the page. There is some weirdness with peripheral vision - things can look warpy or skewed occasionally. I've had a few more experiences where things are just not where I think they are. I've managed to reach out and miss door handles, drawer pulls, etc. - usually when they're off to the side of me and I'm not purposely looking at them, and it seems to happen mostly with things that are about an arm's length away (the same distance as store shelves, which have also been weird to deal with).
I realize that I'd gotten used to not being able to see well in certain situations - like if I was wearing the reading glasses and I looked out the window at work into the distance I'd have to squint a little, or if I was driving - which I didn't have glasses for at all before - I would kind of scrunch my eyes up a certain way to read the dashboard clearly, and scrunch them up a different way to see clearly in the distance. Now I feel my eye muscles kind of get ready to squint or scrunch and then they're surprised to find things clear. Also when I wasn't wearing glasses I would often be kind of staring out in space when I was thinking, sort of not focusing on anything. Now it's a little freaky to have everything almost inescapably in focus.
But, if I'd have known before how clear everything could be, especially in the distance, I would have gotten these a long time ago.
Clare 23 Oct 2007, 11:22
Hi Macrae
I know what you mean, the family thing is the most scary! It depends, I guess, on their attitude to glasses. In my family, few are shortsighted (just a cousin and me) so everyone seems to have held out till they can't see to read, THEN it's time to get glasses. It's hard for them to comprehend not being able to see clearly at distance. I even remember my grandmother making comments that 'it was a shame to spoil her looks with glasses'. Now glasses have come on a long way since she made those comments, but the old attitudes still prevail! Over the years my mother has come to understand that without my contacts there are things I can't see and that really is progress, so I hope yours have a more open view about glasses.
The other thing that I imagine is hard is meeting someone you haven't seen for a long time, or since you *didn't* wear glasses. You seem to be acclimatising well so I'm sure you'll be fine.
EyeSpy 23 Oct 2007, 13:31
Macrae
You're not alone. I got my first specs at the end of my teen years and was surprised to see the sky had stars and the moon really did look like a cheese.
It's hard to believe how much we miss when we don't know we need glasses.
Aubrac 24 Oct 2007, 00:50
Clare & Eyespy
I remember very well when my sister was 14 and told after a school medical she had poor eyesight. I was 9 at the time and like Clare none of my family wore glasses (except for readers for the older members) and there was great concern at how this had happened.
We were all covering one eye and trying to read the Daily Mail from the other side of the room. In my mid teens when I first got glasses, I was embarrassed to wear them in front of the family maybe because of all the earlier fuss with my sister.
In my early days of glass wearing, I used to think everyone was staring at me because of my glasses but I suppose the real reason was that for the first time I could actually SEE everybody clearly. And yes, the stars instead of being fuzzy blobs were clear pinpoints of light.
Macrae 24 Oct 2007, 19:58
EyeSpy: yeah, it's pretty startling to find out what you weren't seeing. Since I got glasses mostly because I was having trouble reading, and it was a pretty small prescription, I just didn't think that there was any vision issue at other distances.
My vision is not nearly so bad that the stars are fuzzy blobs. But something that's interesting to me about the stars is that with my new glasses they look like bright tiny bright dots, whereas without glasses they have radiating, slightly fuzzy "points" that spike out from them. I have a drawing on the wall in my study that I did in a college class 20 years ago that makes me wonder if some of this vision issue goes back at least that far. It's a city night scene done from observation, and in the drawing there are those radiating "points" around