2014-01-03

That gift card you received from a well-meaning relative, the card that will buy you half of something uninteresting from a retailer at a faraway strip mall, has been sitting there since the holidays. It’s time to put it to use. You could sell it to a service like Cardpool at a heavy discount. Or you could use it to pay for something much more exciting: Porn.

That’s the promotion currently being offered by Naughty America, the company behind a stable of adult entertainment websites that feature “multiple daily porn updates with thousands of the hottest Milfs and the newest Porn Stars.”

The idea, basically a sexually explicit form of retail therapy, is both convenient and genius. You simply pay for membership access to Naughty America’s network by trading in your gift card. The larger the balance on your unwanted card, the more time you can buy. A $15.00 Starbucks gift card will get you a 16 day membership. A $40.000 Target card buys you 43 days. A $100.00 card to Best Buy will get you nearly a year (344 days). And so on. Here’s the (safe-for-work) exchange site.

A few minor restrictions apply. For instance, the card must have a minimum balance of $10.00. But the service is 100% anonymous (no further billing information is required, just an e-mail address). And the exchange accepts gift cards from a huge collection of major brands. Here’s the complete list:

Abercrombie & Fitch

Adidas

Aeropostale

American Eagle Outfitters

Ann Taylor

Armani Exchange

Athleta

Babies R Us

Baby Gap

Ballard Designs

Banana Republic

Barnes & Noble

Bass Pro Shops

Bebe

Bed Bath and Beyond

BedandBreakfast.com

Best Buy

Bloomingdale’s

Brooks Brothers

CB2

Chico’s

Christopher & Banks

Coach

Columbia Sportswear

Crate & Barrel

DSW

Dick’s Sporting Goods

Express

FYE

Fandango

Finish Line

Foot Locker

Gap

Godiva Chocolatier

Guess

Guitar Center

Hewlett Packard

Hollister

Home Depot

J. Crew

JCPenney

Jo-Ann Stores

Jos. A. Bank

Kmart

Kohl’s

L.L. Bean

Land’s End

Lids/Hat World

Lowe’s

Lululemon Athletica

MAC Cosmetics

Macy’s

Men’s Wearhouse

Neiman Marcus

New York & Company

Nike

Nordstrom

Office Max

Old Navy

Omaha Steaks

Pac Sun

Payless Shoe Source

Petco

Petsmart

Piperlime

Pottery Barn

Puma

REI

Ralph Lauren

Saks Fifth Avenue

Sears

Sephora

Sony Style

Sports Authority

Starbucks

Sur La Table

Talbots

Target

The Body Shop

The Great Indoors

The North Face

Tiffany & Co.

Toys R Us

True Religion Brand Jeans

ULTA

Urban Outfitters

Victoria’s Secret

Walmart

West Elm

Williams-Sonoma

Naughty America (SFW link) via HyperVocal; Image via Getty

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