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This is a huge, huge week for movie trailers, so we’re going to skip all the normal niceties and get right into the action. Yes, you should have already watched the latest trailer for Tim Burton’s Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children, and Beatles fans are probably excited to check out the trailer for Ron Howard’s Beatles documentary, The Beatles: Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years. And fans of the original version of The Office were treated to a new trailer for David Brent: Life on the Road over the weekend, and that’s all we need to catch up on, because we have plenty of new trailers to watch this week.
Let’s start with a Mr. and Mrs. Smith lookalike that stars Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot as some seriously sexy suburban spies…
Keeping Up with the Joneses
Starring: Zach Galifianakis, Isla Fisher, Gal Gadot, Jon Hamm
Directed by: Greg Mottola
What’s it about?
A suburban couple becomes embroiled in an international espionage plot when they discover that their seemingly perfect new neighbors are government spies. [IMDb]
Again, this Greg Mottola (Superbad, Paul) comedy looks a little like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but as told from the neighbors’ perspective. Which is fine, because that movie was pretty fun, at least for us. (Not Jennifer Aniston, obviously. She deserved better and I think she found that eventually. Congrats to her on being pregnant.) Anywho, as for this one, it looks like a good time. I’m still confused why Isla Fisher has time for this movie but was too good to return for Now You See Me 2, but that’s another thinkpiece for another time. The Joneses are up to no good on October 21.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
Starring: Tom Cruise, Cobie Smulders
Directed by: Edward Zwick
What’s it about?
Jack Reacher returns to the headquarters of his old unit, only to find out he’s now accused of a 16-year-old homicide. [IMDb]
Okay, you’re probably asking, “Hey, didn’t you lead with this movie trailer last week?” And the answer is kind of. We led with Entertainment Tonight’s first look at Jack Reacher: Don’t Look Back if You’re Going Down on Backing Up, but this is like the officially official first trailer. Basically, it’s a lot cooler and doesn’t have the ghost from Safe Haven talking through it. On second viewing, though, I wish Cobie Smulders actually talks throughout Jack Reacher 2, like she says, “Oh this part is great, it’s where Tom Cruise beats this guy up! Hold on, my husband Taran Killam wants to add something funny in his Brad Pitt impression…” Jack Reacher doesn’t listen and goes back on October 21.
The Girl with All the Gifts
Starring: Gemma Arterton, Glenn Close, Paddy Considine
Directed by: Colm McCarthy
What’s it about?
A scientist and a teacher living in a dystopian future embark on a journey of survival with a special young girl named Melanie. [IMDb]
Oh neat, zombies! I’m trying to wrap my head around this one, after watching the trailer three times, and I think this is about some half-zombie kids who aren’t completely zombified, but they still want to eat mean adults, and yet they hold the key to curing humans and ending the zombie plague. What I don’t get, though, is why none of the military jerks are wearing magazines as armor. Did Brad Pitt teach us nothing in that movie that was loosely based on a great book? The Girl delivers her gifts in the U.K. on September 23.
War on Everyone
Starring: Alexander Skarsgård, Michael Peña, Theo James, Tessa Thompson
Directed by: John Michael McDonagh
What’s it about?
Two corrupt cops in New Mexico set out to blackmail and frame every criminal unfortunate enough to cross their path. Things take a sinister turn, however, when they try to intimidate someone who is more dangerous than they are. Or is he? [IMDb]
OR IS HE??? God, that’s my favorite gimmick in telling movie plots, and longtime readers know that’s true, because people get pissed when I overuse that. I miss the good old days. This trailer is interesting because the movie looks like it’s absurdly funny and dark, but I have been hurt and lied to in the past, and so I’m concerned it’s actually a movie that tries to be funny and dark and just comes off as stupid and pointless. I love Skarsgård and Peña together, though. Two fun actors who deserve to be getting bigger and better roles. (Speaking of Skarsgård, there was another trailer for The Legend of Tarzan this week, but I feel like we’ve seen 100 of those, so War on Everyone is a good alternative.) War on Everyone has been making festival rounds in the U.S. but doesn’t have an official release date; however, it hits U.K. theaters on September 30.
American Honey
Starring: Sasha Lane, Shia LaBeouf, McCaul Lombardi
Directed by: Andrea Arnold
What’s it about?
A teenage girl with nothing to lose joins a traveling magazine sales crew, and gets caught up in a whirlwind of hard partying, law bending and young love as she criss-crosses the Midwest with a band of misfits. [IMDb]
Confession time: I am too LaBeoufed out to LaCare about this movie, but it seems to have plenty of very strong buzz around it, with a lot of comparisons to the hauntingly memorable Kids. Basically, it’s like Kids hit the road. It looks well-done and it’s getting positive reviews, so maybe it’s great. But again, I’m sorry, I just can’t LaTake LaBeouf AnyLaMore. I’m LaBurnt out on his true artistry. American Honey debuted at Cannes but has no release date yet.
The Birth of a Nation
Starring: Nate Parker, Armie Hammer, Mark Boone Junior
Directed by: Nate Parker
What’s it about?
Nat Turner, a literate slave and preacher in the antebellum South, orchestrates an uprising. [IMDb]
This movie looks heavy. I felt like maybe I should have led with this trailer because it’s probably going to be mentioned a lot during awards season, but I’m a humor guy so I want to lead with fun people doing happy things and making me laugh. Nate Parker already accepted the Audience Award and Grand Jury Prize for The Birth of a Nation at Sundance this year, so it’s definitely a safe bet to win Best Picture and Best Director this year. Call it a hunch. Nation is born in theaters on October 7.
Anthropoid
Starring: Cillian Murphy, Charlotte Le Bon, Jamie Dornan
Directed by: Sean Ellis
What’s it about?
Based on the extraordinary true story of Operation Anthropoid, the WWII mission to assassinate SS General Reinhard Heydrich, the main architect behind the Final Solution and the Reich’s third in command after Hitler and Himmler. [IMDb]
I only know one other person who loves Peaky Blinders as much as I do – my main man Brian Grubb – but if you’re not watching it on Netflix, you need to check it out. It’s an awesome show and Cillian Murphy is a top-level badass. Because of that series, I’m giving him my official title of “Guy I’ll Watch In Anything Right Now,” so I’m excited for Anthropoid, even if it’s not a movie about a cyborg crabs (anthropoid, it’s close enough, the joke stands). Anthropoid is out on August 12.
Disorder
Starring: Matthias Schoenaerts, Diane Kruger, Paul Hamy
Directed by: Alice Winocour
What’s it about?
Vincent is an ex-soldier with PTSD who is hired to protect the wife and child of a wealthy Lebanese businessman while he’s out of town. Despite the apparent tranquility on Maryland, Vincent perceives an external threat. [IMDb]
I don’t know anything about this movie, which looks pretty good and has been nominated for directing awards at various film festivals, including Cannes. But I want to get real with Diane Kruger for a second. Diane, you’re a pretty well-known actress and we all know you’re very talented, so you probably have a little clout in terms of making a movie happen. That said – it’s time for National Treasure 3 to happen, Diane. Nic Cage’s hairline isn’t getting any better, and Jon Voight seems to think he’s joining President Trump’s cabinet, but more than anything the Indiana Jones 5 talk is heating up, so it’s time for this important franchise to tell its final story. Let’s go, I’m down to write. Oh yeah, Disorder is in theaters on August 12.
A Street Cat Named Bob
Starring: Luke Treadaway, Ruta Gedmintas, Joanne Froggatt
Directed by: Roger Spottiswoode
What’s it about?
Based on the international best selling book. The true feel good story of how James Bowen, a busker and recovering drug addict, had his life transformed when he met a stray ginger cat. [IMDb]
Can’t be any worse than Garfield, folks. Bob rubs against your legs in U.K. theaters on November 4.