2014-03-10

MGM/NBC

Connecticut is America’s most passive-aggressive state. If you don’t believe us, who’s burning video games to admittedly no end whatsoever? Connecticut. Who’s calling 911 to complain about their cable going out? Connecticut. What’s the only state where a meth-dealing priest doesn’t get fired? Connecticut. And now a bunch of Connecticut parents are worried that a staging of Carrie: The Musical might promote bullying. Really.

In a delightful news article from the Detroit Free Press, we discover that parents in Farmington, CT, really completely missed the point of Carrie:

“When I heard (the upcoming production) was a musical version of “Carrie,” I was dumbstruck,” Farmington Hills parent Julie Devine said, appearing before the Farmington Public Schools Board of Education at its meeting this week. “I thought, ‘How arrogant, how insensitive and how reckless to put on a show that ends with a mass murder in a high school gym.’”

Does it get better? Oh my yes.

Devine said she’s also “disturbed by the portrayal of Carrie’s mom as a Christian nut job bent on destruction,” which conflicts with the schools’ support of diversity.

Somehow, you can just imagine “diversity” being put in “air quotes.” Also, hey, Carrie’s mom is a Catholic nut job! Be precise at least!

Really, I could quote the whole article, which among other parental concerns features complaints that the musical features lyrics about the dreaded alcohol and the even more dreaded marijuana. Sadly, however, nobody insists that the play is so bad they’re all going to laugh at the cast, so you’ll have to read that.

Joking aside, this is kind of ridiculous. The high school principal rightly points out that both participation and attendance is voluntarily, and frankly, it’s probably a thrill for these kids to do something that isn’t some cheap, scrubbed-clean obscurity from the 1930s. We can’t wait for next year, when the theater department decides they want to stage Hedwig and The Angry Inch or Jerry Springer: The Opera.

And if you’re curious, here’s one of the first stagings of Carrie: The Musical. We warned you.

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