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! align="center" colspan="2" style="background:#efefef;" | <big>Ivanhoe Grammar School</big>
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| align="center" colspan="2" | [[Image:mordor.jpg|none|280px|School Location]]
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! '''Population''' || 25 000 000 strong
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! '''Cheif Export''' || Hatred/Malice
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! '''School Song''' || Stairway To Heaven (extended version)
|-
! '''Fees Per Year''' || US$10,000,000 A Year, Multiplied By Year Level
|-
! '''Founder''' || Sir H.R Pufnstuff
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! '''Primary Religion''' || Jedi Knight
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! '''School Goal''' || Bringing Balance To the Force and to destroy the one ring
|}
"'''IGS'''"
[[Image:pc-puf.jpeg|thumb|325px|right|Ivanhoe Grammar School Founder - Sir Pufnstuff]]
Ivanhoe Grammar School is a co-educational private school where students pay great ammounts to learn the great and noble arts of Maths, Science, Humanities, as well as Sex Education, and many other subjects a well mannored student should be taught.
It is often stated that only the 12 richest kings of europe can afford to send their children there.
See Below for History, Staff listings, Notable Alumni, School Events, etc..
== The School, The Legend ==
Ivanhoe Grammer School, commonly refered to as "[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine|Deep-Space-Nine]]", has constantly been a benificial learning / teaching centre for millions of non-social children worldwide. Students are endroled from ages 3 onward.
Deep Space Nine consists of two working campuses;
* Ridgeway just 300 metres after the end of [[The Earth]].
This less popular campus is known for the fact that Big Brother 2005 was indeed just cleverly edited footage from hidden cameras around the campus grounds.
* Plenty, or "The Shire", widely beleived to be the best of the two campuses.
Situated directly under God's thone from Heaven, Plenty Campus is known for is fresh air and many greatly talented guitarists.
== Staff ==
[[Image:mred.jpg|thumb|100px|left|Head of Equestrian]]
[[Image:jso.jpg|thumb|250px|Head Of English.]]
* Principal - [[Fraiser Crane]] (200bc-Present)
* Head of Ridgeway - [[Elton John]] (1987-Present)
* Head Of Plenty - [[Ringo Starr]] (1990-Present)
* Head Of Mathematics - [[Optimus Prime (later named Darren 'Maffs Guru' Smyth]] (1956-Present)
* Head Of English - John So (2004-Present)
* Head Of Music - Bumblebee Man (1978-Present)
* Head Of Dance - [[James Taylor]] (1967-Present)
* Head Of Equestrian - Mr Ed (1990-Present)
* Head Of Religious Education- [[L Ron Hubbard]] (Immortal)
* Student Counselor - [[Freddy Kruger]] (1974- Present)
* School Chef - [[Darth Vader]] (1979-Present)
* Careers Counseller- [[Winnie The Pooh]] (1989- Present)
* Member of Academic Staff - Secondary - [[Karyn 'MC' Myers]] (2013)
== Notable Alumni ==
[[Image:masup.jpeg|frame|A Year 4's impression of the Marsupilami]]
* [[Shannon Noll]]
* [[Megatron]]
* [[The Incredible Hulk]]
* [[The Original Ralph Loren]]
* [[The Green Goblin]]
* [[Tupac Shakur]]
* [[Barry White]]
* [[Ozzy Osborne]]
* [[God]] (and later his son [[Jesus]])
* [[Harry Potter]]
* [[Billy Joel]]
* [[Agent Smith]]
* Also, the year 4 class of 1976 had as a class pet the only real live [[Marsupilami]] ever, until it died later that year of the Black Death.
== School Events ==
[[Image:dead.jpg|thumb|200px|left|School Events: August 3rd, 1955. Waking of the Dead]]
* Annual Cow-down Contest - 13th May
* Tree Climbing Contest - 31st September
* School Dance / Ho-down (Bring your own Mammals) - 1st - 31st January
* Casual Dress Day (excluding clothes) - 11th june
* Annual Rise of tuckshop prices - 1st January - 31st December
* Bi-Monthly Waking of The Dead
* Russian Roulette day
* Rememberence of the "Crash Bandicoot Racing Incident" - 16th July
* "Sport Is Compulsory" Day - The 6th day of every week
== School History ==
[[Image:Ring.gif|frame|One Ring Too Rule Them All]]
The subject of this schools creation is indeed, a debatable one, alledged school founder H.R Pufnstuff is said to have descended "from the heavens" to create the school, although scholars maintain that Mr T said on numerous occasions "I pity the fool who say I didn't found this school.".
According to school records, the Ridgeway campus appeared well before the alledged "Big Bang". Many days after this "appearing", The Ridgeway campus was in need of somewhere to store the collection of priceless Eurasian bees, and so Plenty was created.
Hubbard of the [[Molepeople]] was summonded not long after to guide the bees. Although not a Moleperson himself, Hubbard had certainly proved himself as a politition amoung them and, with years of hard work in gaining the trust of the Molepeople, Hubbard eventually climbed the mole-ladder which lead him to Molepeople King.
Years after King Hubbard was summonded, Pufnstuff realised this was a grave mistake after many tonnes of priceless honey was given to South Africa for medical money. Not wanting to anger the King and cause an inter-racial Molepeople/Human incident, Pufnstuff made Habbard Reverend status amoung the children at his school and aslo gave Hubbard his own campus; the "Cambodian Project".
For many years after the Bee episode, the teachers and students lived in peace, and all was well. Sadly, this was to change.
It began with the forging of the Great Rings of Ivanhoe. Three of these rings were given to the Hubbards, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Seed lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were given to the race of Summer-time Men, masters of forien lands and who, above all else, desire power . But they were, all of them, deceived, for another Ring was made. In the very depths of the Ridgeway Caves, the Dark Lord Fraiser forged in secret a master Ring, to control all others. And into this Ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One Ring to rule them all.
Using this ring Fraiser commanded his Urak-H to Build him an army worthy of Ridgeway, Thus the cadet program was created. The initial purpose of this program has since been lost and the faithful cadets are now doing meaningless activities such as cleaning Headmaster's car and making cheap imatiations of designer jeans. Many escape this torturous fate and instead lead disabled people around on horses.
== Alumni Story ==
[[Image:mega.jpg|frame|250px|left|The Infamous Megatron]]
A very popular story and certainly one to be noted in a school history summary is the story of school Math teacher, Optimus Prime and the enrolement of now Alumni student, Megatron. Prime was at the hight of his career in 1976 when, in the very next year of "77, Optimus met the new year-seven students, one of which was Prime's Later [[Arch Nemisis]], [[Megatron]]. Noted in the Alumni list for his considerable contribution to the school's defined library - Robotics Section, Megatron was although not as tall as the other robots in his freshman year, (quoting Prime) "The worst student the School of Ivanhoe Grammar has ever had." - A 2002 career review conference for Transformers, New York.
According to school records, Megatron was a popular student who achieved dux of his graduet year in 1983. It is also beleived Megatron liked to be called Troney for a short yet simple nickname (Spoken; Trone-ie).
Even with his impresive marks the former school captain was never as popular with the teachers as he was the students. Because of this, in the very same year of 1983, Megatron began secretly siphoning million's of the school's Australian currency dollars from its electrical mega-safe, situated 3 stories under the Cambodian Project, Cambodia. The Flaw in this mega-safe was the fact that it was software orientated, meaning that with anyone with robotics and computer knowlegde could break into it. Megatron also knows and relates to anything with mega in its name (ie. 'mega-safe'). Optimus Prime, suspecting a felony checked the Cambodian-made safe and realising the truth, banished Megatron from the school's kingdom. Unfortunately this was 3 days after his final year 12 examinations. Megatron was never to return. After leaving the school Megatron joined the infamous Deceptacons, a band of robots bent on evil. After hearing this Optimus joined the Autobots and thus, the 100 year war began.
== Uniform ==
Boys:
* Head: Pirate Bandannas, Hats in the shape of [[Mickey Mouse]]
* Hair: Crewcut or [[David Beckham]] styles only
* Shirt: Pirate or Muscle Shirt styles only
* Tie: Spinning Bowties only
* Pants: Short shorts only[[Image:code.jpg|frame|250px|The Original version of The Da Vinci Code - July, 1998]]
* Shoes: Clown Style (brown)
* Note that all uniform can be abandoned in prefrence of a bear suit
Girls:
* Same as boys except Pirate Bandannas are not permitted
* Pants and Shirt can also be exchange for Olde English 1700s Full Dress, complete with XS corset. Available in grey only. Comes with XXL 1700s hat.
== School Acheivements ==
* Issac Newtons 1st and 76th Laws of Physics
* Landed on the moon BEFORE the [[Americans]]. Celebrity seacreature Aquaman piloted the ship, designed by a grade 2 graphical design class, decorated by a grade 3 art class.
* Wholly responisble for WWI, then supplied deathrays to [[Germany]] in WWII
* Year 7 English class wrote the [[Da Vinci Code]] which [[Dan Brown]] stole in 1998, he was an english teacher at the time. When asked about this by the press he replied (quote)"Me smarter than Ivanhoe year 7".
* They CAN stop the music, and did, on numerous occasions.
* The year 10 math class divided by zero, twice.
* Cured Cancer, but kept it for their own private health plan.
* Knocked on heavens door and was politley invited in.
* 100000 metre sack race world champions.
== School Incidents ==
[[Image:sub.jpg|thumb|300px|left|Spaceship, piloted by Aquaman - 1968]]
* Supposedly under The Plenty Campus is an endless maze of solid gold. Built in the 70's by William Y. "The Rock" Hardstone - Chief Director of plenty. It's said that the maze is solely guarded by a [[Hobgoblin]] made entirely of platinum and cruelty. This labyrinth is commonly refered to by the Students and Teachers as the "Chamber of Classified Information".
* The school's cadet unit was orginally funded by the gay [[stripper]] [[Ashton Kutcher]] (yes, he is gay)
* The controversial "[[Crash Bandicoot]] Racing Tournement Cheating Incident" resulted in 17 deaths and millions of Rupiees being highjacked from the schools swiss bank account, situated in Switzerland. A common theory is that the students created a jump in the software so large, it lead to switzerland, and crushed 19 people - 17 of which lost their lives. The Remaining 2 live with a Lung capacity of 200g. Every year there is a day of rememberance for this terrible incident.
* The gates of hell have opened on numerous occasions inside the school's gates, leading to the creation of George W. Bush.
* The little known [[She-Hulk]] met [[The Hulk]] here, the following romance led to the destruction of the Plenty Campus' original canteen, the school children now eat under a very shoddy looking tarp.
== School Sports ==
Ivanhoe Grammar School has from the begining of time been very much a sports orientated school. The School's large trophy cabinet, complete with many large trophies boasts a high degree of excellence throughout the School's sporting career.
Some sports on offer include:
[[Image:neofightsmith.jpg|thumb|250px|Matrix Boxing: Year 11 Ivanarian, Neo Vs. Year 12 Trinity Student, Smith ]][[Image:dballz.jpg|thumb|250px|DragonballZ skillz, quite different to Matrix Boxing in rules and gameplay. It is also animated, whereas Matrix Boxing is not.]]
'''Summer.'''
''Boys:''
* Running
* Jumping
* Climbing
* Crawling
(Jogging was later eleminated after the tribunal declared it was infact a type of run)
''Girls:''
* Foxy Boxing
* Dancing with broomsticks
* Baking
* Extreme Ironing
* Underwater Basket Weaving
'''Winter.'''
''Boys:''
* Slalom Skydiving
* Basejumping with bikes
* Catapult Aerobatics
* Dragonball Z Skillz
* Jousting
* Matrix Boxing (commonly mistaken for DragonballZ Skillz)
* Airborne Lawn Bowls
* And many other airborn sports.
''Girls:''
* Mud Wrestling
* Underwater Gymnastics
* Bouncing Castle Archery
== The Arts at Ivanhoe ==
Ivanhoe has a long tradition of fine art, it begins with the annual musical.
[[Image:kramer.jpg|thumb|225px|Star of "A Lost Soul"]]
These Incude:
* Hot Chigago
* Brokeback Mountain the Musical
* Backyard Sluts 2
* Something about elvis, although it wasnt really elvis, he just looked and acted like him
* The Magic Technicolor Dreamcoat
* A Lost Soul: The Optimus Prime Musical
* Something about the french revoloution and why no one was happy, the lighting was well done
* A reactment of The Matrix scene where Neo fights those copies of Agent Smith
Many books have been written by students and teachers at the school
These Include:
* Why Cant We Be Freinds: The Megatron Story - Megatron
* The Da Vinci Code - Year 7 English Class
* A Personal Jesus - Jesus
* How I Won The War - "The Rock"
* Sport Is Compulsory - Sports Magee
* 101 ways to lower a students self esteam - S.o.s.e. Magee
* Mein Kampf - Adolf Hitler
* The Bible - Hubbard
Many bands are made up of members of the Ivanhoe Grammer community
These Include:
* The [[Red Hot Chilli Peppers]]
* [[Led Zeppelin]]
* [[U2]]
* The [[Village People]]
* [[Prince]]
== The Religion Of Ivanhoe ==
The school of Ivanhoe Grammar follows the Jedi code. It is very similar to Christianity's 10 commandments yet somehow different.
The Code is as follows:
[[Image:trouse.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Reverend Hubbard]]
* 1. Thou shall not have sex.
* 2. Thou shall not laugh at Master Yoda's physical apperance.
* 3. Thou shall not run with thy lightsaber
* 4. Thou shall always look cool when fighting.
* 5. Thou shall not play the banjo.
* 6. Thou shall not masacre the whole jedi temple.
* 7. Thou shall not use the force for sexual doings.
* 8. Thou shall not try to jump over someone who is higher then thou, causing thee to cut off your legs.
* 9. Thou shall not secretly create a clone army, disguise it as a peace keeping force, then use them to destroy the Jedi order
* 10. Thou shall not turn to the darkside (Unless you have exemption form 1B).
Using these rules taught by Reverend Hubbard more or less as guidelines, the students live a long a prosperous life of liberty and rock-stardom.
The Central goal of Ivanhoe Grammar school is to forfill the Prophacy and bring peace to the galaxy.
== Ivanhoe Grammar School Isnotisms ==
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not a breeding ground for pandas
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not a ninja school, for ninjas
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not made of ancient roman metals
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not the last number in pie
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not the school [[Lee Harding]] attented
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not a Sexually Transmited Disease (yet)
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not your Uptown Girl
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not gaellic for "Thee Who Mounts Dragons"
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not Where dreams are made
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not good in bed
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not where champions begin
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not where you learn your grammar
* Ivanhoe Grammar School is not where Ivan the hooker lives