for the first time in several weeks, my wife let me sleep in our marriage bed last night. When she woke me up in the morning, instead of being loving and appreciative, I complained that I thought we were going to sleep for longer. This follows a general pattern of me being less emotionally controlled first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

1st bolded segment:
Could you elaborate on the proportion of the scale of power here?
Before your wife allowed you into bed she must've expelled you?
On what terms?

Ignorant of the context i shall take leaps in assumption based on available references, so excuse any potential irrelevancies.

Now, i naturally wonder why one's obligated to be loving and affectionate first second of waking?
Furthermore, how is expressing your desire to sleep longer negative?

Ah, so the picture i see emerging here is that as a method to purposefully manage your anger you've promoted and idealized total emotional control, even though some emotions are not meant to be kept in check along with feelings irrelevant or disrespectful to contextual agreement?

When we were working together on our land, my wife asked me a question to which I didn't give a straight answer and she had to ask several times. This was a mild form of witholding, all because I felt annoyed that she hadn't praised me for the work I'd done in the dark yesterday [I like to get praise but won't typically ask for it]. In analysing myself to get this understanding, I was slow and clunky - again, an expression of witholding.

Withholding what?
Your honest findings or correspondence to her demand or inquiry which you couldn't respond to honestly lest you might air out your covert resentment, hence the period of silence due to a disconnect in between your genuine inner experience and the facade you seem to wish to uphold in relation to your wife.

I say a bold sentence like "I love changing myself to make our marriage better" and hear/feel the reactions in my body. I consistently could feel a rage in my stomach and saw the image of a three year old child repeatedly punching the air

This spontaneously arisen inner image in relation to your expressed intention is of indubitable importance, really.

As complex as the psychic processes that produce these images in the midst of inner discord, distress or dysfunction are, i dare have a guess at the underlying meaning driving the image, which i reckon is symbolic of that part of your self which correlates to [the lingering, unfulfilled desires of] your inner child, protesting against the dishonesty or partial discrimination [found in your intent to disregard your personal interests in favour of external acceptance by female---woman] of your publicized statement.

Not sure, but i feel like there might be some truth concealed within this insight.
If you can relate, i suggest you to to consult your emotions in search of any dishonesty inherent or attached to the statement which sounds as ''i love changing my self to make our marriage better.''

I say, yes, you most likely love working on your self to improve the conditions of your situation at home, but you might be inwardly rebelling against the disproportionate scale of judgement and blame which you feel to be unjustly tilted over to your side, as you most probably often have felt to be unjustly accused as a youngin', [when you were] unable to grasp the severity of the act's consequences thus the feeling of being unjustly blamed for something you felt like you hadn't done.

Not sure.

Creatively imaginin' with the references available.

The good news was that the feeling of rage was sufficiently "distant" that there was no possibility of me choosing to ride on it and have a temper tantrum.

Here's some other ''good'' news...the situation depicted above theoretically is ''bad'' news. And though it shouldn't be framed as negative, it sure isn't beneficial to any involved, for what happens if a child's natural emotional expression is pre-emptively cut short and disallowed?
Do you think the child will incorporate this unresolved emotion in a healthy way?

There's a reason why human beings in their most untampered expression---as children---generate such unbridled, exuberant forms of emotional extravaganza, as that is how our emotions are meant to be expressed.
Sure children who's minds haven't yet been molded by education, and who're more in sync with their natural selves and instinct, know better how to express emotion than our configured adults do?!

When you imagine how an adult would perceive a fellow adult who throws a temper tantrum of a childish nature, in nearly every case you'd find this adult to be immoderately judgemental of this individual's emotional expression---regardless of how relieving the impact has been and how dearly the subject needed it---by framing the hysterically acting adult as a lunatic or something like that.

But if an adult's bonkers for doing that, why a child isn't?
And furthermore, up to what age is a child permitted such frivolous indulgences?

To be able to talk about my unwillingness to change and feel the rage without having a tantrum was an advance in itself.

I can see the merit in that.
But are you aware that one side of the purpose of anger is to rouse its host from a state of conformity and inhibition as to finally allow his volcano to purge the incontestably and immeasurably scorching lava?
Thus that anger often is a driving tool all too often managed unwell?
Therefore the fault lies not in the emotion but in the approach towards it.

I'm not advocating the glorification of anger here, only a more holistic approach to understanding its mechanics and purpose.

Then I first focused on sending my wife love from the navel chakra, did the Sentences and found a much more positive and loving attitude.

Not being aware of how emotionally stable you were at this moment of channeling [your intentions], i must yet ask if an individual who's having to deal with stress of any kind is able to channel emanations of peace to a subject of selection?

Statistics: Posted by Introspectah — Sun Nov 01, 2015 3:25 pm

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