Author: Hope spammer
Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 9:47 pm
Depression can be tough. Not only will it throw you to the ground, It will keep you there beating and torturing you. I write this in order to let people know there is hope. This is my success story on how I conquered it, which can also be yours too. I'm confident that even if your problems aren't lessen you'll still have an idea on what to do next.
Since my car accident everyday I have endure physical pain as well as mental agony for 8 years. I understand some of you have been through worse. Other seem to have a completely normal life with a few luxuries others don't. You can't appreciate them so you just beat yourself up over how you should just be normal. You might think deep down inside that there is no way you can ever be normal. But take it from me, you will be free someday. As someone who use hate this world constantly cursing how unfair it is. Even hating people so much I saw them as nothing more than trash. But specially myself as I had to live a life filled with sadness,guilt, shame,anger, constant physical pain etc. etc. you know the rest. But you have to make a choice to not go back to that dark place, that prison in your mind. That you will no longer let fear, sorrow and guilt control you. Make no mistake about it you have a choice. There is another path you can take. I'm living proof you can beat this. Learn to transform your will into the strongest weapon capable of destroying any obstacles in your mind. It's not possible to just snap out of depression. A great deal of time and effort must be invested. You might not be fully ready now, but keep in mind someday you will be. Breaking the chains that bind you will require new skills, tools and dedication.
It's a long read so I suggest you save/bookmark these techniques/tips. Nothing here will be easy since your own worst enemy is you. Your depression will make you feel like getting better isn't worth it. The best way to handle this is to learn one technique at a time. Don't worry about anything else. Just do the best you can. Try to move on to the next one within a certain period of time. The same can be said when you feel lost in life, identify a problem and focus fixing one thing at a time. Reading won't change anything. That's what your actions are for. It took me 3 months to get rid of depression with this tips. Without the medication I wouldn't have cared about any of this stuff so that was helpful as well. Doesn't matter if you get better slower or faster than me just try.
Professional help
The first thing you should ever do is go to the doctor of course. Professional help will be key if you want to stand a chance. Medication greatly helps and talking to a psychologist might reveal crucial clues. Even if you don't want any medication, psychologist are important. From breaking patterns to teaching you how to cope. They are people who understand your situation. Don't be afraid of what people might think. Approximately 20 million americans alone suffer this disorder. This is a condition that requires the aid of doctors like any other. Besides it's better to go willingly instead of being forced to because your life was in danger. Your choices are powerful don't ever give them up.
Taking back control
Your thoughts will always exaggerate the negative aspects of your life. Especially negative conclusions that aren't true. For example “My friends or family don't call me because they don't care about me” or “I can't do anything right”. And even if what you're thinking is correct, it doesn't matter. These types of thoughts will only weaken you and make you feel worse. Stop blaming others for your situation no matter how much it hurts. The faster you realize you're only wasting precious energy and time, the faster you'll be able to put it to better use. The main goal here is prevention. It's easier to avoid a relapse rather then snapping out a depressive state. If you are already feeling depressed as you try this then you'll just have to work harder.
Mood repair strategies
To begin healing you will need to discard all the thoughts that constantly plague your mind. There's no need to be so hard on yourself. Train your mind to stop from repeating bad things over and over. Simply catch yourself in the moment that these negative thoughts go through your head. Interrupt them with a positive thought or image of your own. Known as thought stopping some say this doesn't work but it did for me. Try doing a slight gesture with your body that feels most natural to you, to take your mind off the thought . Or my favorite, say a word or a phrase that inspires you in your mind or out loud. Some of mine are “I can still keep going” or “I'm not done yet”. You can also accept your thoughts and focus on what you have do next in the moment. This last approach is very useful but you will need willpower to make a firm decision. E.g “What happened today made me really sad but I still have a task to finish” Practice this for a while until it's second nature to you and thoughts stop popping up in your head. Use whichever method or combination you prefer.
Some thoughts or feelings aren't as easy to control as others. When you're too anxious ,worried or filled with anger meditation will greatly help. Research how to practice meditation. Once you have learned the basics go even deeper, try to feel your heart sending blood through your body. You will be able to feel your hands, feet and neck pulsating. When you're done you'll feel amazing once you open your eyes. Many types of techniques exist which can easily be found on youtube. Physical benefits include
reduced work load on heart, decreased high blood pressure and drop in cholesterol levels to name a few apart from all the psychological benefits.
Other times when it seems like you're about to run out of energy or fade away, nothing seems to matter anymore. You just want to lay in bed all day even though you know a depressive episode is not to far behind. You could exercise or meditate but those don't seem to be effective for me during this periods of time. What I like to do is strengthen my willpower using powerful memories.
One time I experienced sleep paralysis. I was on my bed and it felt like my body was dying. Starting from my limbs working its way up. Not being able to move I tried to scream but couldn't move my mouth. My chest was hurting as I struggled to breath. I had recently started taking medication and in that moment I was convinced it was all real and the the pills were killing me. Everything kept getting darker until there was only blackness. Next thing I know my ”spirit”is leaving my body ascending to a beautiful orange like dawn sky. The only thing going through my mind was “ I can't die now that everything is getting better”, I screamed in my mind “I WANT TO LIVE”.
It was the first time in so many years since I wanted to live so badly. This dream gave me an invaluable resource I can use by just remembering it. A powerful emotion that wasn't born out of fear or hate but more like a desperate attempt to survive. When I remember it the hairs on the back of neck stand up. It always saves me when I'm fading away because of sorrow. I'm sure you have an experience that could be useful. It doesn't have to be dramatic just powerful. Think back to a time you were so determined that you knew you couldn't fail. Or a time you were happy, don't you want to feel that way again?
Music that also fuels your soul can work. Find songs that inspire you to be better. Make them your own by changing the lyrics a little so they fit your specific needs or emotional level. Sing it with all your strength. You don't even need to move your lips or make sounds , your body will still recognize the effort and respond giving you energy. This will release endorphins in your body. Just make sure to take deep breaths. Music videos work better since they stimulate two senses. Another trick is to make a playlist of song you like. Arrange them going from sad to “feel good”. Try to have only a few sad songs followed by songs about struggles up and not giving up. Finish it up with the “feel good” songs and sing them with all your strength. This has a interesting “stairs” type of effect. Taking one step at a time until you get to where you want to be emotionally. Experiment with things you're passionate about movies, photos,art and see what works best for you. Also be it love, spirituality or a goal always have something outside of your self to focus on. Not only does this help you stop dwelling the negative stuff and weakens your sadness. It also helps you think more clearly about the things that really matters. Always remember that is the reason why you can't give up. Wear or keep something that reminds you why you must stay strong. In the end you're the only one that can find or create the tools that will illuminate your way.
Nothing is ever truly Bad or Good
The past can sometimes haunt us. It makes you question whether you have bee doing things right. To have a bright future we must have a past we can be proud of or atleast be able to accept. This section will be really challenging so try your best.
1st lets try something easy. Try to make sad songs motivational. Usually when we hear a song we only associate it with one emotion or memory. When in fact they could mean many things if you wish it so. Of course changing the lyrics works too. But picture(hear of course) a song about failure. You can shift it to your depression failing to control you completely. If after a couple of tries you fail try later. Absorbing too much melancholy from songs can be dangerous for your emotional state. Next try shifting how you view a negative event in your life. It's going to be harder since it might bring back emotions. What is at least one positive thing you learned? Find the purpose of the experience. (This psychological component,which can also be spiritual, will provide you with more control over even the most intolerable memories.) This will lead you to learning something or preparing you if it happens again. Giving you confidence accompanied by a little more strength. This can be enough to dispel certain fears. In the process it will inspire you or makes you change for the better acquiring more hope that will push you to your new future. To change how you view a problem might seem stupid at first. But it's just a first step in order to link purpose,strength and hope to create a more happier optimistic lifestyle.
This is going to be fundamental if you want to have total control and use your depression to fuel your happiness. I have done this, as well as many others, and it's state of pure bliss. Being”normal” again feels okay, but it's nothing compared to this. You will experience complete peace. No more insecurities, no more negative thoughts and complete confidence in your self. Everything will be more beautiful. Even trees, clouds and peoples facial expressions among other things ,which I never bother to notice before, will seem beautiful. It caught me by surprise since I would laugh at everything. I don't really know what it's called but to me it's like being King of your own soul. If you know the real name let me know. It almost feels like the term flow(positive psychology) except time perception doesn't seem to change. I'll write about the mental requirements, tips and how you can reach this state in the future.
Sometimes depression will have us using are own imagination against us. Have you ever had an uncontrollable urge to daydream? Playing a movie in your head about how everything can go wrong that day. Doesn't make you feel any better does it? There are many visualization technique that will put that imagination to better use. The hard part is finding one that resonates with your needs. I created my own before I knew this stuff existed. I was desperately trying to find a way to cope back then. It had some mistakes but thanks to my depression I learned what works best for me. If it clicks with you use it. If not then do some research until you find the right one for you.
Internal Battle
When you feel the slightest hint that loneliness and sadness are taking over try this before they swallow you up. In your mind shape your dark emotions into something you associate them with. It can be an abyss, darkness, a creature, another you etc; anything except a person you know. If you choose a person you know you might end up blaming them making this exercise pointless. Listen to what your creation(thoughts) is telling you. It might say anything ranging from “your all alone now” to “you are worthless”. No matter what it says use it as motivation. Shift your mentality to view it as a challenge. E.g “ I might be all alone but I won't surrender to you, I'll find a way to fix this.” By giving in to your insecurities you'll only end up losing to insanity. Are you just going to let your little alter ego take everything from you? Are you going to just let it ruin your time, relationship, kids or a chance at your true life? Don't let it beat you. Come out victories no matter what it says. Once you make that final decision to never quit no matter how much the odds are stacked against you, no matter how unsure you are, you win. It doesn't matter how many times you have to decide. Remember you are fighting for something more important than money or popularity in life. Rather something precious that only you can know what it is.
(An alternate method without having to use your imagination will only require writing. Write the negative thoughts down. Next to them write an opposite positive thought that disproves it. The idea is to challenge this thoughts. I prefer the previous method since it's more powerful for me.)
Second stage
After your final decision you might feel 1 of 2 things: you might feel normal again (which means you can stop here) or you might feel sad but with a burning desire to keep living. If the last one is the case then in this 2nd part you have to shift your “I have to win no matter what happens” mentality to total acceptance. Take deep breaths while you try to relax. What are you feeling? Tears falling, tense muscle, the uncertainty of the moment, joy or even disappointment? Pay close attention to everything. Be thankful for that moment. Realize all those negative emotions you hate so much are part of the core of your being. An out of control part of you of course but still yours. Welcome them with open arms like you would a naughty pet you love. Because you need them otherwise you'd be a psychopath (not trying to insult anyone they just can't feel deep emotions like everyone else ). Picture your creation disintegrating, turning to mist, a shadow or energy, returning to you. You're the bigger man(woman) now because you're willing to accept your creation. Even if it only cares about your destruction since it's too terrified of the world. The reason for accepting it is that if you just go on trying to fight it will eventually return. All of this unresolved thoughts will just keep popping back into your mind until you quiet them or run out of strength becoming depressed again. You are the light that created the shadow, you have total dominion over it.
Good job on reading all of this because I know I sure as hell know that I wouldn't have. I want to hear your thoughts. Post what tips you liked, what you didn't or post ones the work for you. I'd really appreciate it if you tell me about your progress or where you're stuck. Tell me your story no matter how stupid or sad it may seem. I'll always be here to listen and support you.
Once I was saved by a beautiful stranger when I had no hope left. Showed me the true meaning of life and stopped me from ever causing harm to my body. To the people reading this. You're all so beautiful and special you just can't see it yet. Someday you'll be the one that saves a relative, friend and who knows maybe even me if I fall once again.