WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 1/29/17
The Royal Rumble has officially come and gone and we are now on the road to Wrestlemania! Whew… quite the show we had last night. Some shockers! A pair of amazing title matches, and a surprise Rumble winner that I don’t think anyone really saw coming. Let’s get to it!
Pre-Show: Becky Lynch, Naomi and Nikki Bella VS Alexa Bliss, Mickie James and Natalya
Well this match happened. It wasn’t bad. It just kind of… was. In fact there were a couple of great spots, including a triple suplex! I called the heels to win this one, but I got this wrong on two fronts. Not only did the babyface team win, but Naomi pinned Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss. Not exactly a great way to make your champion look strong. But if Naomi is next in line for a title program, with Bliss, I can get behind that on a temporary basis while Becky focuses on having good matches with Mickie James.
Winners: Becky Lynch, Naomi, Nikki Bella
Pre-Show: Cesaro and Sheamus (c) VS The Club for the Raw Tag Team Titles
This was a pretty good match and a fantastic showing for both teams. Some stiff knees and kicks. The Club brought a bit of that Japanese style (or what passes for Japanese style in WWE). I like that The Club were finally given a chance with the titles. Is it too little too late? Perhaps. We’ll have to see how they’re booked over the next few months, but I’m willing to remain cautiously optimistic.
Winners and NEW tag champs: Gallows and Anderson – “The Club”
Pre-Show: Sasha Banks VS Nia Jax
Sigh… I really wanted to be wrong about this one. But nope. This was a glorified squash match. Now, Sasha did get some offense in, but not much. Jax was clunky as can be in this match. She showed some poor timing and extra slop on most of her moves.
Banks bumped well for Jax and did her best to make Nia look half-way decent. But Jax is a victim of her own shortcomings and I don’t know if she’ll ever get truly get over no matter how many legitimately good wrestlers she is fed.
Jax even looks awkward during her victory celebration…
Winner: Nia Jax
Rich Swann (c) VS Neville for the Cruiserweight Championship
No surprises here. Neville is your new Cruiserweight Champion. This match was pretty good, but still very much in the WWE style and no where near the energy level of what we saw at the Cruiserweight Classic. But Neville looked particularly strong here, nailing some stiff shots on Swann who, to his credit, did his part well.
I’m hoping this victory helps Neville re-invigorate 205 Live which seems to be growing more and more stale as weeks go by.
Winner and NEW Cruiserweight Champion: Neville
Charlotte Flair VS Bayley for the Raw Women’s Championship
This was a great match. A little shorter than I would have liked, but it was still given a good amount of time. I liked that they played up the “Bayley is a fan” aspect of the feud with Charlotte constantly taunting her and pointing towards the crowd. It was a good way to get support behind Bayley who still managed to look great despite the losing effort.
Despite a little slop at the start of the match, the two women eventually got into a really good groove. And the last 1/3 of the match is fantastic featuring some unique spots and a good story. I only have a couple of nitpicky complaints overall and I’m looking forward to the next stage of this feud.
Winner and STILL Raw Women’s Champion: Charlotte Flair
Kevin Owens (c) VS Roman Reigns for the Universal Championship
Right off the bat, Owens and Jericho attacked Reigns, which I liked. Because, as heels, why get in the cage in the first place? Roman was eventually able to get Jericho into the cage, and the match could officially begin.
And what a match it was. Holy bejeezus. These guys beat the hell out of each other. I was worried that the no DQ stipulation was going to be more of a BS gimmick, but they really used the stipulation to full effect. Tables, chairs, fighting in the crowd. This was surprisingly great. And credit where credit is due, Roman looked really good here with a strong performance.
There were some incredibly awesome spots throughout the match. Reigns put Owens through the announcer’s table. Owens leapt from the top turnbuckle and frog splashed Reigns through table on the arena floor. And Owens fell through a pyramid of chairs he had set up earlier in the match. Ouch.
With a little help from Jericho, Owens was able to get his hands on some brass knuckles and “Superman Punch” Reigns. Reigns, being Superman himself apparently, kicked out. Luckily for Owens, Braun Strowman decided to come out and destroy Reigns by throwing him through there second announcer’s table. This allowed Owens to steal the win here after capitalizing on some serious damage to Reigns.
I’m beyond surprised that Owens got the win, but happy he did. We’ll see how this unfolds in the coming months. But, I’m hoping this means they’ll finally pull the trigger on the Owens/Jericho feud we’ve all be looking forward to.
Winner and STILL Universal Champion: Kevin Owens
AJ Styles (c) VS John Cena for the WWE Championship
This match was fantastic. Easily an early match of the year candidate by every measurable sale. Incredible pacing, snug ring work, fantastic storytelling, and some truly close near falls. This was exciting from start to finish with a slow build that had the audience (and this jaded viewer) on the edge of their seats.
This bout had an amazing, roller-coaster esque flow with peaks and valleys and crescendos spread throughout the match. These two veterans have amazing chemistry and with great facial expressions and the physicality to back them up, they’ve managed to have one fantastic blow off match to their great feud.
Cena picks up the win here and ties Ric Flair’s title record. I’m actually strangely okay with it. Records are made to be broken and Cena earned that belt with this match. Both men beat the hell out of each other and had an epic showdown that ranks up there with any Rumble singles match we may have seen in the past. Even the incredible Benoit/Angle from 2003. Both men deserve all the credit in the world for giving us something truly special.
Winner and NEW WWE Champion: John Cena
Royal Rumble Match
Well… This was decidedly lackluster. All that star power and this has to be one of the most boring rumble matches in recent memory. Maybe it’s because they held off on all the big names for pretty much the last 5 or so slots in the match. Or maybe it’s because there was a complete lull in star power throughout the middle of the match. But it just seemed… boring for a good majority of it.
I was disappointed from the start with Cass being #1. Of all the uninspired choices. Jericho was #2 which instilled a little more hope in me. I could see Jericho winning from the #2 spot. Braun Strowman had a strong showing and eliminated 6 or so men (including Mark Henry and Big Show) before Zayn, Jericho, and Baron Corbin all joined forces to eliminate the big man. Tye Dillinger did make his appearance in the #10 spot so that was a little bonus.
Brock Lesnar finally broke up some of the monotony of the later half of the Rumble with his appearance.He crushed everyone in the ring and got a few quick eliminations. Goldberg was out right after to a huge pop. A spear later and Lesnar was eliminated by Goldberg. Shockingly quick elimination for the beast and the feud between these two continues.
Undertaker came out and went face to face with Goldberg. I’ll admit… I marked out a bit for that. The two exchanged some punches and Taker was able to eliminate Goldberg pretty easily.
At this point in the rumble I’m trying to think of who could possibly be coming out at the #30 spot. All the big names have made their appearances. Could it be Finn Balor returning from injury? Samoa Joe? Kurt Angle? No… It was friggin’ Roman Reigns. And the entire WWE Universe collectively shouted WHAT THE F*%$!?
Seriously. WTF?
I don’t think I’ve ever heard Reigns booed any louder than right here. Roman rolls into the ring and starts to take men out. He is eventually able to eliminate The Undertaker and the two have a long stare down. And there is our Wrestlemania match folks. A match no one wanted. No one. Not me. Not you. No one.
At this point we have Roman, Bray Wyatt, and Randy Orton left. One of these men will win the Rumble. How disappointing. Roman eliminates Bray, the only interesting choice to win the Rumble left in the ring. But at least some of my prayers were answered when Randy quickly dumped out Reigns there after.
So, completely out of left field (or not if you follow Vegas betting statistics), Randy Orton wins the Royal Rumble for the second time. This potentially sets up Orton/Cena at Werstlemania which is the WORST possibly thing that could occur. They bled this pairing dry a few years ago and I don’t think anyone is clamoring to have it back.
Our saving grace is the Elimination Chamber PPV where Cena has the potential to drop his new belt to someone else. Perhaps Bray Wyatt so this ready-made feud can begin? We’ll see.
And that was the 2017 Royal Rumble. Two fantastic Heavyweight title matches capped off by a strangely boring and confusingly booked Royal Rumble match. We had ZERO surprise entrants of any kind. No, Tye Dillinger doesn’t count. No legends. No Samoa Joe. No Kurt Angle. Also Rumble veterans like Kane were surprisingly left out.
I have mixed feelings about the overall show to say the least. But hey, Owens is still Universal Champion and Reigns didn’t win the Rumble so… silver linings I guess.
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