Ooooooh, a rare leap day Monday Night Raw tonight. Looking ahead, we don’t have any Monday leap days up through 2032, so any future “leap day Raw”s will not feature Director of Operations Balor demeaning himself in front of Old Man Hunter and Old Lady McMahon. Anyway, tonight we’re supposed to get the annual pre-WrestleMania appearance from the Undertaker. If Taker only shows up by way of pre-recorded TitanTron video it means we’re doomed to another six months of sub par product, but if he shows up in person, there’s a possibility that things may be looking up. Also, I just made that up. Tonight we also get the number one contender match between Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch, which basically, needs to end in some form of double pin or double DQ. Hey, I know NXT already did it, but both women deserve that match at Mania. Other than that, I’m sure we’ll get some vague references to the New Day / League of Nations feud which is “booty” and Rusev’s “big announcement” which I purposely avoided the internet all today in order to not have spoiled for me. But enough preamble, it’s time for the WWE Raw 02/29/16 recap!
WWE Raw 02/29/16 Recap
WWE. Then. Now. Forever. We open with a video package recapping Triple H beating down Roman Reigns so he could go get his nose fixed. No footage from SmackDown is shown so my question of whether or not they’d black and white out the bloody athletic tape goes unanswered. And now it’s time for Injury Roll Call: John Cena, Randy Orton, Cena again, and Rollins. Same as last week. I’m guessing they’re going to run with this one for a while then.
We’re live from Nashville, TN and Triple H is out first tonight. Triple H starts out by cutting essentially the same “authority” promo from SmackDown, assuming we didn’t already sit through this back on Thursday because no one watches SmackDown besides Mauro Ranallo fans. Triple H then says that Roman chose to disrespect him and pauses for an incredibly anemic “Roman” chant. There is so much mention of Roman Reigns in this promo, I’m pretty certain we’re not seeing Roman for at least another week. Triple H once again reiterates that you do not challenge authority and Dean Ambrose’s music hits. Yep, no Roman this week. Ambrose is out to a larger pop than Reigns would have gotten. Dean limps into the ring, still selling his Brock Lesnar “shoe-horned WrestleMania match” beat down. Dean starts his promo by saying he just got off the phone with Roman and Roman wanted him to tell Triple H “hi” and that he’s “coming for” Triple H. Actually sounds like what Roman would have said. Triple H then makes a lame Oscars joke about Dean being in a “bromance”. Dean recounts all of what happened on Raw last week to prevent him from having this talk with Triple H then. He mentions Shane McMahon and so far the loudest chant of the night, a “Shane O Mac” chant, breaks out. Dean then stops to ask Triple H if he likes Shane McMahon or not. Triple H wants him to get to the point. Dean wants to know who Triple H wanted to win the main event at Fastlane. Triple H says it is an irrelevant question because the only people who meant anything in it were Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar. That gets some boos. Dean gets up in his face and reminds him who Dean Ambrose is. Triple H says Dean really is crazy and he thought it was just a gimmick Dean did for the fans. Dean says he knows Triple H doesn’t think he can beat him. Triple H makes another lame joke involving “laundry and clean clothes”. Dean’s tired of all of the talk. He wants some action. He wants Triple H vs. Dean Ambrose for the title. Triple H explains it doesn’t work that way. Triple H is intrigued though. He’s going to think about it and give Dean an answer by the end of the night. Dean wants to know if this means the end of the show or if he’s going to get a text later. Dean’s busy so he wants to know when. Triple H says by the end of Raw and that he’s got some “other things to do” tonight. Triple H makes a match between Dean Ambrose and Alberto del Rio.
We then cut to the announcers and someone behind them has a sign that says “Make Raw Great Again”. Amen. Now we see the footage of Shane McMahon from last week. Shane’s not here this week, but Vince is, The Undertaker is, and Stephanie is! Meanwhile, in a split screen, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch are walking!
Back from break, Charlotte and Ric Flair are taking their seats in the area previously occupied by Tyler Breeze’s VIP area. Once again, “Just For Men” has sponsored a women’s match. Hey, they didn’t cut off the first few notes of Sasha’s theme tonight!
Match #1: Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks (Number One Contenders Match for the Diva’s Championship)
Yes. Double pin. And they managed to do so using a different spot than Sami Zayn and Samoa Joe from NXT. Bravo. The crowd chanting “let’s go Becky / let’s go Sasha” just reinforces that this needs to be a Triple Threat at Mania. I mean, obviously one person wins at Mania, but all three women deserve that spot on the show. Anyway, not much to add. This played out perfectly. Let’s hope they don’t screw this up between now and April 3rd. It is main roster WWE and the Diva division after all.
Verdict: Thumbs Up – For once they’ve done something right on this show.
Post-match, Mike Chioda seems less confused than the refs at NXT and tells Lilian to announce the match as a draw. This prompts a “triple threat” chant from the crowd. Make it happen WWE. C’mon, throw us a damn bone. Meanwhile, someone in the crowd is holding up a sign behind Ric Flair that says “My Nana Rode Space Mountain”. Nashville’s sign game is starting to impress. Anyway, Charlotte’s music hits and she leaves while Becky and Sasha look sad in the ring. This is so awkward without William Regal making confused faces and some woman loudly yelling “RESTART THE MATCH” over and over again.
Bray Wyatt’s video stinger hits and part of me wants this to be the debut of Abigail “Bayley” Wyatt to make this a Fatal Four Way, but, really, this is probably going to be a vague promo about Ryback or Kane. Okay, really, if they do debut a Sister Abigail character she really should be played by Leva Bates or Mary Dobson or someone like that. But, I digress. Bray Wyatt is here to let us know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I’m assuming this has something to do with the Wyatt Family’s dismal PPV results and recycled feuds? He then says “Now that I think about it, maybe I am insane” and stops short of giving us a wink. At least someone is recognizing it. Now Bray wants to “save the world”. This promo reeks of creative saying “we’ve got nothing for the Wyatt Family for a few weeks”.
Back from break, we’re in the middle of Dolph Ziggler’s entrance and Miz gets no entrance. Uh-oh, they started doing this crap last week on SmackDown about halfway through the show. Someone’s promo later on in the show just got extended. We see a clip from last week’s Raw pre-show that shows Miz and Ziggler arguing while Renee Young sort of stands there. WrestleMania feud, ahoy!
Match #2: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
And thus begins the garbage matches of the night. Ziggler gets in a few moves, Miz goes for his finish, Ziggler counters, but Miz counters that into a small package and gets the pin.
Verdict: Thumbs Down – Wow, Miz went from his great matches as the third wheel in the AJ Styles / Chris Jericho feud to having matches like this with Ziggler of all people? This better lead to something or this was an utter waste of everyone’s time.
Later tonight we get Y2AJ vs. The New Day in a match that has me fear we’re doing this too soon for it to be a WrestleMania program. Next, we’re going to recap last week’s Shane McMahon promo again for anyone with that severe of a late pass.
Back from break, some band is playing at a bar called Tootsie’s and I legit thought this was going to be the next vignette in the Goldust / R Truth saga… but nope. Like Jimmy on South Park would say, “that’s an ad”. Now we see the “Shane McMahon returns” video package that aired on last week’s SmackDown. Meanwhile, Stephanie is backstage… walking.
Back from break, Stephanie McMahon is out to deliver her Vincent J. McMahon Legacy of Excellence award acceptance speech. Stephanie asks for respect and gets a “Shane O Mac” chant. She reminds them that Shane’s not here tonight and starts to deliver the speech to some boos. The crowd is amazing tonight and starts a “Randy Savage” chant. This turns into a “We Want Shane!” chant while Stephanie cradles the award like a baby. Stephanie then starts to cut a heel promo on the crowd and pushes over the stand the award was on. Stephanie then cuts a promo on Shane about how he doesn’t really love and support his family. This turns into a “sexist” issue where Shane thinks he can take over because he’s a man. She understands why the crowd cheers Shane, because he’s just like them. She then wraps up the promo by saying Shane is going to lose at Mania and the crowd will have to bow down to their King and bow down to their queen… Stephanie. She then drops the mic and fabulous secret powers are revealed to her as she holds aloft the McMahon Award in front of the WrestleMania banner.
We’re now joined with the Lucha Dragons already in the ring. I’m really glad we spent like five minutes having Stephanie say all that obvious stuff about how we should like her and not Shane. The League of Nations are out and I hope we get to hear what Rusev’s big announcement is. Hey, this is Sheamus and Rusev. Alberto del Rio has a match against Ambrose later. Guess which member isn’t working again? Guess?
Match #3: The Lucha Dragons vs. Sheamus & Rusev (w/ Barrett & Alberto del Rio)
So, I learn from JBL commentary of all things that Rusev’s “big announcement” was made on Twitter and he offered a Maserati to anyone who could bodyslam him. Supposedly Sheamus, Adam Rose, and R Truth all tried, but none of them succeeded. Why this was supposedly done backstage and not incorporated into Raw is beyond me. It would have been considerably more entertaining than this vanilla tag team match. Basically, it’s the standard Lucha Dragons vs. “bigger guys” match they’ve had several times on the main roster. The only hitch is this time Rusev lands a kick and gets a clean win. I guess if we’re going with the League of Nations vs. The New Day at Mania, which is a terrible idea, we have to start building up the League as more than heaters for the Authority… even though they’re essentially working as heaters for the Authority in the main event.
Verdict: Thumbs In The Middle – Not terribly interesting but at least no one got injured and Barrett took a bump on the outside.
Post-match, del Rio delivers his corner stomp finish to Kalisto. Now we fast forward into a Subway ad, thinly veiled as Renee Young talking to Natalya about how she stays “looking so good”. I’ll give it to Subway, Natalya would be a better spokesperson than the last guy. The announcers then mention the Undertaker is here later and show us Dean Ambrose and Triple H cutting their promos earlier in the show.
Back from break, we learn that the WWE has surpassed 10,000,000 subscribers on YouTube. This brings out Ryback, who I guess is working as a face tonight? I say this because The Social Outcasts are already in the ring and got zero mic time. Seriously, this time management junk happened on SmackDown and all it meant was that New Day got a promo before their match. We could have omitted the Stephanie promo that had no point and about half of Triple H’s retread and everyone gets entrances. It’s a three-hour show, I find it amazing they run into time management issues like this. Maybe we don’t want a two-hour Raw, it’d be no entrances and a bunch of 30 second matches that end in small package pins. Anyway, Ryback cuts a promo “earlier today” that sounds like the most unnatural promo that could have been delivered by Ryback, complete with Oscars references.
Match #4: Ryback vs. Adam Rose (w/ Curtis Axel, Bo Dallas, and Heath Slater)
So, Ryback “snaps” and starts pummeling Rose and then gives him the Shellshocked. I didn’t have any idea that this would end any other way. I just hope the new “overly aggressive” Ryback doesn’t result in someone getting hurt, but it probably will. This is stupid and unnecessary.
Verdict: Thumbs Down – Nope.
The announcers put over this “new” dangerous and terrible Ryback and segue that into showing us the Brock Lesnar stuff from last week’s Raw.
Up next, it’s the New Day. Big E pretends to swim in the ring and we’re sent to break.
Back from break, the New Day cut their weekly promo. This week they put over their “brotherhood” and say they’re better than the League of Nations and stack up against all of the great partnerships in history. They turn to saying how Y2AJ aren’t a real team and Jericho’s pyro interrupts them.
Match #5: Y2AJ vs. The New Day
First off, AJ Styles was hugely over with this crowd. They even made “You Don’t Want None” signs and held them up like people used to do with the “Cesaro Section” signs. So, this is the program the tag team division needs right now. Here’s hoping they extend this all of the way to WrestleMania and don’t water it down by adding in the League of Nations. Jericho, Styles, and the New Day already have great chemistry in the ring and I’d love to see this play out on a larger stage. The match here is good, but would have been better on a show not so “pressed for time” as it feels a bit short. At one point, Kofi is working over Styles outside and Woods pulls out a deck of cards and Kofi picks one. Kofi shows it, the 2 of spades, and Xavier says he has AJ’s number. As AJ’s photo was on the deck of the cards, I have to assume they went to the trouble of getting a deck of cards made with AJ Styles on every card. Impressive. Anyway, Jericho manages to not get a black eye again and counters the Trouble in Paradise into the Walls of Jericho and makes Kofi tap.
Verdict: Thumbs Up – On a show so light on good matches this is a like an oasis in the desert.
Post-match, AJ Styles has the mic and says that tonight’s victory puts them at the top of the list for the tag titles. Jericho says Y2AJ is a thing and so, they want a tag title match… next week on Raw. Ugh. The only good outcome here is Jericho and Styles winning, because if this is WWE’s out to make sure we get to suffer through New Day / League of Nations at Mania I’m going to be sad.
Hey, it’s Todd Chrisley!
Hey, it’s Vince McMahon! Mr. McMahon is upset with the ovation he is getting tonight. He says the only way he’d be introducing Shane on the Raw after Mania is if a miracle happened. We learn that if Shane wins that Triple H and Stephanie are “quitting the business”. Seems legit. Both could go off TV and Triple H could focus on doing more with NXT. I’m really starting to think that Shane may actually win this match somehow. Vince then introduces the Undertaker. Taker shows up in the flesh meaning they’re taking this match seriously enough that it might not suck. Taker gets his full entrance and then stares Vince down. McMahon starts to say that the Undertaker is “his force of destruction” and Taker grabs him. Taker says the blood of Vince’s son will be on Vince’s hands, not his. He then leaves while McMahon sells the neck grab in the ring. Vince then says if Shane loses, he’s writing him out of his will. He also will renounce Shane McMahon as his son.
Match #6: Jey Uso (w/ Jimmy Uso) vs. Bubba Ray Dudley (w/ D-Von Dudley)
Hey, it’s the yang to the yin of the match on SmackDown. Nothing about this new “edgy” Dudley Boyz nor this feud with the Usos is doing anything for me. It’s probably not helping that the Dudleys have a one-dimensional character trait and the Usos are just here because they have nothing else to do. Giving both teams three minutes to make things work isn’t doing them any favors either. This time we get the exact same table distraction spot, but the Usos counter it. Somehow Jey still manages to get Bubba Bombed to take the loss.
Verdict: Thumbs Down – This is nearing “Ryback” levels of me not caring.
Meanwhile, R Truth and Goldust are backstage again. Truth tries to make it clear he doesn’t need Goldust’s help. Goldust leaves looking dejected and Truth looks like he feels bad.
Hey, it’s Randy Houser!
Match #7: Kevin Owens vs. The Big Show
I guess we’re officially killing time until Owens’s opponent for Mania is sussed out. Owens uses the same “get a count out victory” tactic, including a sick looking apron to floor DDT on Big Show, but it doesn’t work here. Show hangs Owens up crotch first on the ropes, just like he did to Show on SmackDown, and Owens takes the count out loss.
Verdict: Thumbs In The Middle – This feud is likely doing nowhere, and I imagine they’ll have some sort of “rubber match” on SmackDown or next week’s Raw that will most likely end with Owens winning somehow. Not terrible, but clearly just something to waste time until we’re closer to Mania.
Post-match, Big Show laughs while Owens writhes on the ground in pain.
Backstage, Renee Young is joined by Brie Bella. Brie is still positive even though she lost at Fastlane. Lana appears and says Brie always seems to, what is the American phrase? Bite the big one. Lana then says she has a figure but Brie is just skin and bones. Lana has a brute for a partner, but Brie only has a tiny, little goat man. Brie is only loved because she is pitied. Brie fires back that Lana hasn’t worked a match and says she loved Rusev as a bear in the Revenant. Hey, guys? Did you know the Oscars were last night? No. Well, you do now. I can’t wait until the November Raw and SmackDown episodes when everything will be referencing the election constantly.
Back from break, Brie Bella and Naomi are in the ring.
Match #8: Brie Bella vs. Naomi (w/ Tamina)
Brie and Naomi get a decent amount of time here. It’s like we realized we shaved way too much time off by having nearly every match prior do their entrances during the commercial break. Looks like Brie’s time of being relevant has already passed. Despite getting in a little more offense than usual, she’s back to being the jobber to the stars of the Diva division. Of note here is that Naomi is now using a submission finisher and makes Brie tap out to it.
Verdict: Thumbs Up – A surprisingly good match when I just expected something average.
Post-match, Lana comes out and slow claps on the stage. Is Brie’s last program for the company going to be putting over Lana in Lana’s first in ring feud? Stranger things have happened.
Back from break, we learn that the Fabulous Freebirds will be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Somewhere in Connecticut someone is digitally scrubbing the Confederate Flag out of as much archival footage as possible.
Meanwhile, Sasha and Becky are backstage talking. Charlotte and Ric appear. Charlotte says they’re getting a second chance to have a number one contender match on SmackDown. Mauro Ranallo is going to get to call the double tap out!
We see the Undertaker promo again and then Dean Ambrose’s music hits after a pregnant pause.
Back from break, we learn that New Day vs. Y2AJ for the titles is a thing on next week’s Raw. Also, Shane McMahon will be stopping by. Well, by my clock this main event “match” is happening entirely in the over run. I bet this one will be a wrestling classic!
Match #9: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto del Rio (w/ Barrett, Rusev, & Sheamus)
Well, I was almost correct. This match was actually quite good up until the predictable finish. Del Rio starts out just destroying Ambrose. Dean absorbs an insane amount of punishment, including taking Del Rio’s finisher off the time keeper’s area. Dean then mounts a comeback but Triple H appears. He then signals for the League of Nations who rush the ring and begin beating down Ambrose to trigger a no contest.
Verdict: Thumbs Up – Predictable, yes. But something like this needed to happen to further establish Ambrose as willing to take a beating. He’s facing Lesnar in a no holds barred match so surviving this Raw will lend to Ambrose’s ability to survive in that environment. Not the best ending to a Raw, but I get why they’re doing it.
Post-match, the League continues to beat on Ambrose. Triple H stands on the apron and watches. After Del Rio delivers a crisp kick, Triple H shakes their hands and then gets a mic. Triple H crouches over Dean saying he will never beat the Authority and Dean decks him. Dean starts wailing on Triple H, but he’s able to counter eventually and hit a Pedigree on Ambrose. Triple H grabs the mic and says Dean’s title shot is on. Triple H leaves, but Dean laying on the ground next to the mic says, “Hunter… thanks!”, which gets a pop from the crowd. Triple H then rolls up his sleeves and tosses Ambrose out of the ring. Dean then goes over the announce table, Triple H knocks over Saxton, and puts Ambrose on the table and starts punching him over and over again. Some guy in the front row behind the table keeps yelling “THIS IS UNPROFESSIONAL” over and over again. He should meet “RESTART THE MATCH” woman from Florida. They’d make a cute couple. Anyway, the refs then try to pull Triple H off Dean and Triple H eventually leaves.
So, that’s that. Another Raw were we get a few more pieces to the WrestleMania puzzle, but with over a month to go, most Superstars are settling into time killing mini-programs to fill the gap.
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