Guest Blogger: My friend Clint on pulling his quad - New Delhi, India
New Delhi, India
Here's Clint's hilarious/shocking/oh-so-India experience with pulling his quad last week...
Also, I'm writing this by the light of one lonely lamp in my apartment that's being run by the battery powered backups. The power is out and has been for about an hour. OHHH speak of the devil, it's back on!!! Hooray!! I was beginning to get a bit worried about waking up tomorrow since my phone is about to die and that's my alarm. But never mind. So fortunate to have pretty good power in my neighborhood!!
-------
Dear Diary,
So I pulled my Quadriceps Tendon last week. Very painful tendon that
connects your upper leg (quads) to your knee. Bending knee and walking
are very painful. But with ice and rest, it's getting slowly better
every day.
And yet... everyone told me to see the knee specialist of the world, Dr.
Bajaj. He does all of the embassy and ambassadors, etc. Cricket players
from around the world come to see him, etc. etc. Apparently afterwards
you can... "bend it like Bajaj" http://www.sportsarthroscopyindia.com/ Dr. Bajaj himself is a great guy. Turns out this is our neighbor as well
and we sort of hit it off. He tests my flexibility and sends me for
X-rays, MRI, blood work, etc. So Cassie and I head to an imaging place
for the MRI on a Friday night. Inside a closet at this center is a MRI machine and based on the PHILLIPS logo on it, is from 1986-ish. They take my blood, run the MRI
and we are out.
A weekend of mostly laying in bed with my leg up iced and on painkillers
from the Dr. which they probably use to put horses down in the states.
I'm feeling a lot better. Walking around. Though not totally sure where
the intersection of "my knee is doing a lot better" and "i'm still
painless from that pill 16 hours ago" is.
Monday, it's back to Dr. Bajaj for the results of all the tests. He looks
though the MRI, nothing notable. Looks though the Xrays, nothing. Set on
finding some reason as this injury happened while I was sleeping
(though I likely pulled it the day before working out and it didn't set
until the middle of the night), he finds a blood result that says i'm
.5% high in Uric Acid and determines that I have GOUT. GOUT!
The Uric Acid count is .5% high and says specifically that you could have a
higher count if you fast (I only eat in an eight hour window in the
afternoon) and strenuous exercise (I work out at 7am, in the middle of my 16 hour fast each day). Still... Dr. says I have gout from this test.
Ihead into physical therapy per Dr Bajaj, where there are 6 women, each
to do a separate thing. One to put a pillow under my leg, one to put a
strap around my knee, one to put electrodes into the strap, etc. etc.
They do some light shock vibrations to my knee for 20 minutes and then
some exercises and I'm done. I'm googleing "gout" this whole time and
realizing more and more that this is all ********. "See you the next 9
days in a row." RIGHT
Last stop is the Nutritionist to tell me how to eat better for MY NON-EXISTING GOUT. It went 99% like this.
Dr: Tell me about your current diet.
Me: I'm a vegetarian and I only eat lunch and dinner
Dr: You have to eat breakfast! have to!
Me: Well, I don't. I feel that fasting in the morning keeps my mind sharp and it's part of my "caveman workout" where our ancestors didn't hunt (workout) on a full stomach. they hunted when they were hungry and I think that's how our bodies have been evolved to work... do you really want to hear this?
Dr: You have to eat breakfast, have 2 toasts with butter in the morning
Me: You are nutritionist telling me to eat carbs in the AM? OK (get me out of here)
Dr. And you are a vege? That's good, you should have chicken in the evening
Me: No... I don't eat meat
Dr. Chicken isn't meat, you can have for dinner
Me: (Am I really telling a "nutritionist" that a CHICKEN IS AN ANIMAL?) I should get going.
Dr: I thought you just mean red meat!
Me: No, I mean anything with a face. I don't eat those things.
Dr: Ok, well make sure you don't drink any water or tea when you eat, it will dilute the food for your gout
Me: There's no way that is true
Dr: No spinach, no this, no that. see you in a few weeks
Me: Absolutely not. (but smiling so she doesn't understand)
So here I am, pretty drugged up, resting my knee which is getting better and still working out (but no leg days) and eating the way I've been eating (salads with or without spinach) and maybe $300 in the hole for what would have been $7-10,000 USD.
What I've learned:
I have gout. (not true)
They try to
give everyone in India a job, that's why 20 people will move bricks all
day on their heads instead of using a bulldozer in 10 minutes. This is
the same for everything including physical therapy.
Chickens are vegetables.
--------------
To continue on the doctor kick...I went to the dentist today. She's right down the street which is very convenient. This dentist is also "the one everyone goes to." She (like Clint's Knee Doctor) has a certificate in her office that says "Embassy Certificate" or something like that. Whatever that means! We started joking we could print out certificates for everyone and start handing them out, it would really help business!
The dentist/orthodontist have been GREAT though. They texted me back and forth to figure out my first appointment time, texted me a reminder, were on time, etc..
Today I had to stop by to get molds done. I'm getting new retainers since my teeth have shifted slightly post braces oh, 15 years ago. I asked my dentist in NYC how much this would be and they estimated about $900 since it's completely cosmetic. Here both top and bottom retainers will cost me $150 total. India is apparently a hot bed for dental tourism these days. Now I see why! I could've gotten invisalign or the budget version of that but I don't need it and don't want to pay more for that.
The dentist I saw was recently featured in an article about medical tourism in the Sydney Morning Herald. "The straight-talking Dr. Batra recommended similar (although not identical) treatment to what my Sydney dentist had advised. The two sessions I required in the chair over the course of a week went like clockwork. After each visit I received a text message from the surgery saying: ''Hello Sir. Just checking-up. How are you feeling?''
With service like this on offer at a fraction of the price of an Australian dentist, its no surprise the number of people having their teeth fixed in Asia is rising. Cassandra Italia, from medical tourism company Global Health Travel, estimates at least 25,000 Australians went on a dental tour last year."
The article also talks about where I'll be going in the spring in Bangkok to see all of my doctors for the year. The hospital is apparently like a fancy mall it's so nice.
"Thailand is recognised as the market leader in medical tourism. Its tourism authority says 1.5 million foreigners visited Thai hospitals in 2008 generating about $US 6 billion for the Thai economy. Bangkok's huge Bumrungrad International Hospital has been tagged the world's first ''global hospital'' and treats more than 400,000 foreigners a year. Bumrungrad has more than 30 medical specialties including dental services.
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-new s/room-with-a-view-and-a-root-canal-ple ase-20130404-2h9l6.html#ixzz2n5CHUJGx
Throughout my visit today people were doing the following jobs:
1.Two guards out front of a nondescript apartment building in my neighborhood.
2.Another guy outside who spots foreigners by assuming (and he's right) they're going to the "embassy certified" dentist and says out loud "First Floor!"
3. A man who sits next to the male receptionist (have I mentioned everyone is a man who works in India? Ironically everyone except for the female dentist and orthodontist) on a sad cushion/chair thing bolted into the wall. His job as far as I can tell is to write down little notes in a notepad, cross them off and then go to tell the dentist when their next patient has arrived.
4. The receptionist. He keeps "the books." They literally are books. Appointment book written old school with pencil and paper. He also writes receipts, texts people about appointments, answers the phone and gives you change for services you pay for in cash.
5. Assistant #1-Holds the light. Turns it on and off every 2 seconds depending on when the doctor is looking.
6.Assistant #2-Holds tools 1-5 the ortho might need
7. Assistant #3- Holds tools 6-10 the ortho might need
8. Assistant #4-Ready to start any paperwork/labs/other things that might need to be taken care of
And all of these people? Staring at me while I get molds for retainers that normally teenagers have. :) It's fine.
On the walk home though, I saw two abandoned ferris wheels. Anybody missing theirs? They also look like they're from the 50's and definitely need to be hand cranked to work.