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Each and every year, children (and some adults) write wonderful letters to Santa Claus in hopes of getting just what they want for Christmas.
Well, as wrestling fans, we realized that even Santa himself couldn’t bring us what we wanted in 2016, at least not when it came to the WWE. So, we had to go right to the source. We had to write to Santa Vince, and hope that he would put aside his Grinch-like ways and actually hear our pleas.
So, here’s to you, Dear Santa Vince, and hoping that your heart will indeed grow three sizes today…
…and bring us what we want this year.
Dear Santa Vince,
I feel like I’ve been a good fan this year. I may not have said my prayers or ate my vitamins, but I dedicated enough Monday nights to your product, even when it was painful to watch or football was an option. (My Titans don’t play on Monday because they suck! But when they get better, I’ll have to pick them. Sorry in advance.)
My first letter to Santa, which still hangs up on my parent’s wall, has me asking for an “L.O.D. t-shirt.” Also on that wall is my Senior Kindergarten photo, wearing a British Bulldogs sweater. I would like to ask for your focus on the tag team division. Sure, the titles are on a team that is over with the crowd, but why all the non-title match losses? Speaking of non-title, there are tag teams not doing anything. Is it too much to ask for an Ascension / Wyatt Family feud? Titles don’t need to be involved for this to be great. Maybe rework one of the WWE PPVs and have it center around a tournament?
We have something in common, Vince. We’re both getting older. Because of this, I can’t stay awake as long as I used to. That last hour of RAW can be a bit tricky to really pay attention to and unless the crowd goes nuts, I may fall asleep on the couch. Sometimes less is more; please make RAW two hours.
Finally, there are wrestlers on the roster more than deserving of a push. Stardust, Bo Dallas, and Tyler Breeze have a chance to be something great. Stardust should be in the IC Title picture. Once the New Day gets a little repetitive, add Bo Dallas to the mix and have him and Xaiver Woods fight over the mic. And maybe after the 100th match against Dolph Ziggler, have Tyler Breeze move on to something else. The WWE Lightweight Title? Sure, it doesn’t exist. But it could!
Despite my complaints and demands, I will forever be a fan. Thank you for moving in the right direction with the Divas (sort of), the quick push of Kevin Owens, and the US Title Open Challenge. You want 2016 to be full of record-breaking ratings? Just give me a call.
Sincerely,
Joel Soucy
Dear Santa Vince:
I know you are a busy guy, and your stress level has to be super high these days, what with all the injuries, the hemorrhaging ratings for WWE’s weekly shows, and whatnot. All I want for Christmas is for you to take care of yourself and your hardworking executive producer, Kevin Dunn, by taking a long, well-deserved vacation on a deserted tropical island somewhere.
Take a week, a month, a year or two. Swim, tan, take long, moonlit walks on the beach arm in arm with Kev. Anything to relax. And, sometime during this vacay, sit under a coconut tree and wait for one of those heavy things to fall on your freaking head and smack some sense into you….and maybe knock you out of 1995 and into 2016.
All the best,
Abbey
Dear Santa Vince:
This may be one of the more important times in history to be finally writing to you. It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask for all of the very realistic and fair things that I could ask for, as you are a very busy man and can’t get to all of them. So I’ll just boil it down to this, and you can make this happen however you please.
When I wake up every Monday, Santa Vince, I want to be excited and giddy about RAW being on that night. I don’t want to feel as though it’s a project or a burden to sit and watch something that I have loved all of my childhood. Please Santa Vince, make Mondays fun again. Make it to where I catch myself looking at the clock all day waiting to see what happens between my favorite superstars that night.
That’s all I’ll ask for this year. So please, try your best to make it happy.
Yours Truly,
Chris Schubert
Dear Vincent K. McClaus and the Elf-Thority,
I hope you are all enjoying the holidays with your family. You may not know this, but I am a teacher at a Catholic school and I always tell my students that good things will happen to good people. After about a year, I am starting to have my doubts as a WWE fan. So I have three requests that can not only make me believe in you, but your employees that risk their life to entertain us but get little rewards.
First, give the tag teams a chance and let the divas break free from restrictions. The Usos, New Day, and Lucha Dragons tore the house down with their death-defying attacks in the opening match of TLC and I want to see more of that. There is depth in NXT and I would love to see tag teams that include The Vaudevillians and Gable and Jordan on the main roster to make tag team wrestling great in 2016.
The Divas Revolution looked great on paper, but failed in design. Let Sasha Banks free, quit making Becky Lynch a lackey to Charlotte, and please…PLEASE bring up Bayley. Also, while you are at it, give Sara Del Rey a raise. Her tips in the ring made the WWE Divas bonafide wrestlers. This is the richest division in your company, make use of them. They will keep fans in the seats.
Next, please make things interesting. Outside of The New Day and Kevin Owens, tell me why I should still watch your product? I want to. I have been a WWE Network subscriber since Day 1. Heck, I even own shares of WWE. I need my investment to be worth the time and money. Your employees do all they can, but I am growing impatient with the complacency of your company. I need a moment that will keep me interested for the long term. I am growing tired of stepping on the WWE rug only for you and Kevin Dunn to pull it from under me. I am getting old. My back can’t handle it any longer.
Finally a request directly to you. I love your tie collection. Is it possible to get the tie your wore when you were a guest on Steve Austin’s podcast? It is the pinnacle of neckwear. If you say no, can you at least tell me where you got it? I’m being totally serious.
To coin your buddy Donald Trump, “Make Wrestling Great Again.” I’ll put brownies and a protein shake at WWE Headquarters for you.
Regards,
Anthony J. Valvo
Dear Santa McMahon,
This year for Christmas, I would like a WWE Champion that actually makes sense as a Champion. It would be really cool if a true main event type star would actually be hyped as a main eventer instead of being the guy that gets the “other guy” over.
I would also like a two-hour Monday Night RAW. Three hours is just too much.
Next on my list would be for NXT to become a weekly episodic TV show and replace WWE SmackDown. Let’s get these youngsters and up and comers the push they deserve. Also this year, I would like to see more championship matches on live TV. And last but not least, can you bring in a real GM and get rid of The Authority? It’s old and tired, kind of like you.
Merry Christmas
Dustin Holland
Dear Santa Vince,
What I want for Christmas this year isn’t something material, but instead is something more intangible. What I want isn’t physical, but rather to see your WWE product presented with a different mindset and philosophy.
I know you have to walk a thin line when producing a product that is viewed by consumers who range from children to grandparents, but all I’ll ask this holiday season is for you to not treat every viewer as if they were an adolescent with no attention span. There are many areas that need to be addressed, but I’ll keep the list short and hit on two key complaints:
First, please stop using the matches during Monday Night RAW and SmackDown as opportunities to discuss story lines like a podcast and also, please stop referring to weapons in extreme matches as “toys.”
On the first point, the job of the announcers during a match should be to sell the moves, sell the wrestlers, help the heels get heat and to put over the performers with audience. Most fans don’t watch every show like I do, so there is a need to keep viewers informed, but there are other ways to discuss story lines with promos and between match segments with the announcers.
Besides not accomplishing your main goal during the match as I just described, what you’re also telling viewers by talking about everything but the action in the ring, is that what’s happening in the ring isn’t important. NFL or NBA announcers will talk about news involving the sport, but do so between plays and during moments when nothing is happening; not when a play is being run. How odd would it be if Al Michaels or Joe Buck started talking about something Roger Goodell said while a running back was breaking away on a long touchdown run?
If you want your fans to take a match during the first hour of RAW between mid-card performers as something that matters, then that match has to be presented that way by the announcers.
The second point just drives me crazy, but ties into the last topic. If you’re trying to sell a no-disqualification match as extreme and attempting to play up the idea that the risks and damage done to the performers is much greater than the average match, then you can’t refer to the objects being used to inflict that damage as “toys.”
We know it’s a staged stunt show, but allow the viewers to suspend their disbelief just like they would in an action movie that features a huge gun fight. A steel chair used by a grown man who is really strong to hit another person in the back is not a toy, it’s a weapon. Calling it a toy isn’t being “PG,” it insults the intelligence of your audience and is unfair to the performers taking really big risks to entertain your paying audience.
Please take this as an airing of grievances by a passionate fan and not as attempt to bash your product. If you make these two changes, that product will improve.
Merry Christmas,
Brian McDonald
Do you have a wish for Santa Vince? Share it with us in the comment section or be sure to give us a shout out on Twitter @TopRopePress!
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