Found on AskReddit.
1. They peeled back a roll of fat, and she had a swarm of maggots eating through her rotting skin.
“My mom’s an ICU nurse.
One day, they had a morbidly obese woman come in with ‘bad stomach pains.’ After bringing her in, they went to examine her…
…They peeled back a roll of fat, and she had a swarm of maggots eating through her rotting skin. It turns out that she didn’t wash. She constantly got food all over her, which turned rancid.
I respect medical professionals.”
—TheCollegeStruggle
2. An eight-year-old girl bleeding from her vagina.
“A month ago or so I was posted to the night shift in the ER, usual shit was going on, I was monitoring a stroke patient when this guy brings in an 8-year-old girl bleeding from her vagina and she was put on a stretcher, I go to see this girl her face had turned pale and when we lift her skirt up her underwear was bloody with blood stains everywhere on the insides of her skirt, it was an obvious case of sexual assault, there were no other injuries on either the girl or the ‘father’, she was petrified and flinched at every touch, the man claimed to her father and said it was an road traffic accident and she fell of his bike, the doctor assigned to her filed a medico legal case on the spot and shifted her to the gynecology ward. The look on that girl’s face haunts me to this day.”
—Insify
3. Green stuff begins bubbling out.
“ICU. John Doe, unconscious, threadiest pulse ever & stinking to high heavens. Throw him on everything we’ve got & losing the battle. Wash him up a bit, still stinks even with the usual tricks. Suddenly hear a fart-like noise, green stuff begins bubbling out, & he literally deflates as he goes into asystole. That distended belly was gas from his gut being nothing but rot.
Didn’t make it, obviously.”
—draconian_moth
4. He had a solid poop/sunflower seed plug right in his butthole.
“This guy says he ate a 3-pound bag of sunflower seeds INCLUDING the shells. He was constipated and pain in his rectum. He had a solid poop/sunflower seed plug right in his butthole. Said he had not had a bowel movement in a week and couldn’t poop it out. The whole area of the EC smelled of hard stale poo.
We don’t typically spoon poop out of people anymore because for fuck’s sakes it’s a level one trauma center. But seeing as how far he had gone we spooned out the poop.”
—Banana-balls
5. His partner had been putting a frozen fish in his anus.
“A friend who is an ER physician told me about a gay man that came in because his partner had been putting a frozen fish in his anus.
The problem was, when it heated up there, the fins fanned out. This made it impossible to remove without surgery. Think like an arrow going in, and trying to pull it straight back out without serious damage.
This was just one of a wild assortment of objects that are placed in a place they’re not meant for.”
—SalesAutopsy
6. Have had someone on many occasions wake up on the vent and mouth ‘KILL ME’ to me.
“Have had someone on many occasions wake up on the vent and mouth ‘KILL ME’ to me. Was once in hydrotherapy when a patient was trying to tongue out his ETT so he would die.
I have seen many terrible things. ICU psychosis makes everything a lot worse. Talking to people who aren’t there, fist-fighting with your nurse, etc. I have also had friends with PTSD after being in an ICU.”
—Buried_in_the_wake
7. The ‘Man in Black.’
“ICU nurse. Something that has been experienced by multiple patients of mine, is the ‘man in black’. Patients who aren’t doing well and are still able to talk will often ask about the ‘man in black’.
He’s standing in the corner, by the edge of the bed, looking out the window, staring at them. He’s not doing anything, but something about the look of him puts them on edge. The man in black doesn’t have favorites, most recently he visited a priest.
I should start keeping statistics of who he comes for and how many make it through. I wonder if when my time comes I’ll see him just because I know he’s there.”
—balancedinsanity
8. If they start talking to Jesus, you need to get ready for something bad.
“People that start talking to their dead mother or see the light…75% chance they are going to go down. If they start talking to Jesus, you need to get ready for something bad. I don’t care if they are eating, ambulatory, and stable……we see this in the unit all the time. Some old man recovering nicely starts saying ‘mamma mamma I’m coming home’ is not just singing Ozzy.
Also, and I know it sounds like ‘no shit’ thing to say, if some looks at you and says ‘I’m dying’ no matter what the vitals are or what has been going on, take that shit seriously.
No one teaches this in Med school.”
—tdimaginarybff
9. Lady masturbates with fish, forgot to take it out.
“I am a General Physician working in a General Hospital….Lady came by because she had ‘weird smell and secretion’ coming from her vagina. No biggie. Start examining her when the stench of rotten fish hits me on my face. White-Grayish secretion flows out. Put my hand in there, reach deep and pull out a dead fish. Lady masturbates with fish, forgot to take it out.”
—yosol
10. Dude lost his dick and balls during a jet-skiing accident but had them reattached.
“My wife was a CNA for a while in Post-Operation. She used to come home with all kinds of grisly stories.
My favorite was a guy who got castrated while jet skiing. Dude was out jet skiing and crossed a tubers line without knowing it. He caught his junk on the line and it castrated him, dick and balls full stop. Anyhoo, this dude proceeds to fish his fucking junk out of the river he was in, ride his jet ski home, put his package on ice, call an ambulance and call in to work the next day. They managed to reattach the whole kit and kaboodle and it worked just fine.”
—beve21
11. A poor kid was now a paraplegic but didn’t know yet.
“A poor kid who was now a paraplegic but didn’t know yet because his parents hadn’t come and they were waiting to tell him.”
—Boston_Red_Sox
12. Drug addict, high on opiates used an X-Acto knife to cut between the shaft of the penis and the inside of his cock head.
“Drug addict, high on opiates used an X-Acto knife to cut between the shaft of the penis and the inside of his cock head. Essentially making it so the head was separate from the main structure of the shaft, but was still connected by tissues at the tip, kind of like when a strong wind turns an umbrella inside out. He then used those low quality rough brown paper towels you see in public restrooms, and stuffed it underneath the partially de-gloved head to stem the blood flow.”
—Name Withheld
13. ‘Why is there a dead body here?’
“ICU nurse here. Some people tell me they don’t remember anything after waking up from a coma. Some people can hear what’s going on but are just unable to respond. Some people have delirium and it feels like a constant scary dream.
I had one patient who was not technically in a coma, but had delirium. He was waiting for a lung transplant. I admitted him into my room three hours after a woman died and we removed her body. He delirious man asked me: ‘who’s that woman standing by the window?’ ‘Why is there a dead body here?’ ‘Can you please ask the team of people to leave so I can sleep?’ (no one was there except me and him) And various other periods of talking to ‘other people in the room’
At one point he insisted that we had lungs for him, but didn’t want to give them to him and we actually just wanted him to die (the real story is that we had lungs for him, he was told that he would be getting his transplant and was brought to the OR…. only to find out that the lungs actually weren’t usable. But he didn’t believe us)
He eventually got his lungs and healed 100%. Afterwards he told us all sorts of things that he thought was going on. Says it felt like real life, but he knows it was just a dream.
Many people actually get PTSD from being in an ICU patient. :(”
—ImAFuckinLady
14. I once saw a woman take a bite out of her own log of shit like it was a chocolate bar and then proceed to lick/suck the remnants off each finger.
“I work in a dementia home and I once saw a woman take a bite out of her own log of shit like it was a chocolate bar and then proceed to lick/suck the remnants off each finger.
She asked me and my friend from down the hallway if we had a tissue for her, and we went ‘what is that?’ And she said it was chocolate, and having given out chocolate brownies on the tea round earlier we believed her. My friend went to give her a tissue as I went to the kitchenette. My friend then approached me looking deathly pale and stammered out ‘that, is not chocolate’ I approached the woman and was hit by the foulest dog shit smell (you know it’s bad when human shit smells like dog shit), and this woman’s hands were covered in shit stains and another colleague had apprehended her and wrapped the log in a napkin. She said she would take over as both me and my friend who had physically watched the woman take a bite of it began to pale as the realization set in – I made it to the toilet but my friend just puked straight up onto the floor. Other colleague took the woman for a shower and when I was still gathering myself at the bottom of the stairs I heard ‘Shall we brush your teeth now Sheila? I think we should’, which I couldn’t help but laugh at the time, despite how rotten the whole debacle was.”
—stubrador
15. His brains were spillin’ out.
“Had a guy walk into the ambulance bay and shoot himself in the head. That woulda been it if they didn’t find the note hinting at a bomb in his car, so they wrapped up his head with Kerlix and sent him up to the ICU while his brains were spillin’ out.”
—alertedbreadV3
16. His eyelids were sewn shut at the time.
“I work in a burn unit, so unfortunately we have to keep our larger burns sedated for longer periods of time—a month for some people.
The ICU delirium experienced by some of these people is out of control.
Had one guy, maxed on our ‘standard ICU protocol’ of sedation get out of bed, ripping his arterial line out (spraying blood all over in the process) and walk over to the window—it looked like he was trying to jump out of the window according to the nurse that caught him. His eyelids were sewn shut at the time.”
—DeLaNope
17. His boyfriend and him were experimenting and poured cement up his butt.
“I was Healthcare IT so these are not firsthand but have been told to me by the nurses and doctors.
Two gay guys come to the ER one says he has something stuck up his butt. Won’t really say what it was to the triage nurse. Once they get him in a room he finally spills what it is. His boyfriend and him were experimenting and poured cement up his butt.”
—yellowcheese
18. He had no skin around his penis and testicles and would never have a functioning penis ever again.
“My wife is a nurse and until recently worked in A&E. One story that sticks out is a heroin user who was admitted due to an infection from injecting into his groin. The result of this was that the skin around his genitals had become severely necroted and had to be removed. This meant that he had no skin around his penis and testicles and would never have a functioning penis ever again. The sad thing is that this was unlikely to be a wakeup call and he will continue to use heroin.”
—therealgingerone
19. He woke up with an erection, ripped sutures and pouring blood.
“Not a clinical doctor anymore, but during my junior house officer (equivalent to USA intern post I think, first year after qualifying), I was working on an adult surgical ward. We had a young man, early 20s, coming in for a circumcision (where I am boys aren’t circumcised routinely). For some reason, he didn’t want his parents to know, but he lived with them. The surgeon arranged for him to come in as a day patient rather than stay overnight and he was discharged later the same day with strict instructions not to get an erection until things had healed up a bit. He was given medication to help with this (I want to say valium, but it was 20 years ago). He got home, fell asleep on the couch without taking any medication and woke up with an erection, ripped sutures and pouring blood. He was brought back in by ambulance to the surgical ward. The surgeon at the time was on call from home, and as the junior doctor on the ward I had to stand there with my hand wrapped firmly around the poor man’s willy applying pressure to stop the bleeding as best I could. It was a very awkward 15 minutes until my senior arrived.”
—chubalubs
20. ‘HE’S HERE! HE’S HERE TO TAKE ME!’
“STNA here. Worked in an Alzheimer ward at a nursing home for Catholic nuns. One of the nuns was close to death, and she hadn’t really talked much, was always lost in her own mind. Anyway, she started screaming stuff like ‘HE’S HERE! HE’S HERE TO TAKE ME!’ and ‘I can’t go to heaven because I sinned.’ We would ask her if she wanted to confess her sins to a Father, and finally she said yes. Apparently before she joined the church, she had molested an infant, and it caused the infant to die. (I’m not sure how, she didn’t go into detail). She kept repeating that Satan was trying to drag her to Hell and that God was letting him. Found out later that her father had molested her up to 15 years old. It was really sad and scary. She was seriously terrified.”
—supermacabre
21. Last night I entered a room to find my patient in a blood pool, shit looked like a scene from Dexter.
“Last night I entered a room to find my patient in a blood pool, shit looked like a scene from Dexter. Patient was apparently bleeding from his hemodialysis catheter, and a kitchen knife was on the scene. There was so much blood the bathroom floor was half red. Apparently, his catheter was purposefully severed. We went with compressions and orotracheal epinephrine because of the lack of vascular access. There was actually no coming back as he lost so much blood. Police was called and we are waiting for forensic conclusions but it was probably self-inflicted. He had no history of mental instability except for recently started seizures and the confusion that usually follows. His family was warned not to leave him alone. He was 67.”
—a_guy_with_a_plan
22. My patient’s catheter bag was filled with a dark grey sludge, the consistency of cake frosting.
“Once my patients’ Foley bag (catheter bag) was filled with a dark grey sludge, the consistency of cake frosting. Turned out she was in complete kidney failure and the toxins had spilled into the bladder.
I have never been so bewildered in my life.”
—kelsimichelle 
