WARNING: This post is quite long and detailed. 
I’m not totally sure how to write this post. I should probably first start with a confession. This “Mom Conference” thing I went to last weekend that I’ve been casually referring to in a few previous posts? It wasn’t really a “conference” at all. It was more of a fun, relaxing, encouraging weekend called the Edel Gathering. I’ll save you a click and let you know that the Edel Gathering was for, well, um, Catholic moms.
Yes. I know. You’re asking “What? Wait, what? You’re not Catholic — right?” Yeah, yeah. I know. I’d be confused too. Which is why I’m throwing this out right at the beginning of the post.
No, I’m not currently Catholic. Out of 300ish attendees, I met only one other non-Catholic who told me she’d met two other non-Catholics. So 4 out of 300? I was definitely in the 1.3% there. So why did I go? Many of the other (Catholic) attendees have blogs that I’ve been reading for awhile now, and the idea of a mom party – where I had no requirements and could sleep in and take luxurious hotel showers and close down the bar at night with new friends if I wanted to – sounded kind of fun. So I took the HUGE leap of faith and stepped WAY out of my comfort zone and bought a ticket.
(I didn’t end up getting that nice luxurious shower afterall, but I’ll get to that part later)
Because I’d need someone to watch my kids for three days and KP didn’t know if his work would allow the time off, I made a whole vacation out of it and flew with kids to the grandparent’s house in Texas a few days before the event. Leaving my parent’s house at 4am – ALL BY MYSELF – and saying goodbye to my sleeping kids whom I wouldn’t see for three days was a little difficult, I’m not gonna lie. I knew they were in good hands, but still….it was the first time I’d left both kids.
I recognized a blogger named Cate at my airport gate, but still feeling totally unsure and awkward about this Edel thing and leaving my kids and being alone for the first time in forever, I didn’t introduce myself. I still half-considered the idea of booking my own hotel room at a separate hotel and just having a weekend to myself instead of participating in this nonsense.
But by my layover in Baltimore, I was feeling a bit more adventurous. So as I was checking my phone and saw someone named Ginny post in the Edel facebook group that she was also boarding a plane in Baltimore, I decided to quickly respond. I found her on the flight and we sat together. Both of us first timers, we easily fell into conversation and ended up becoming “Edel BFFs”. It almost felt a divinely planned meeting, ha ha, so that we each had someone to hang out with and show up at all the events with so that we weren’t alone throughout the weekend.
Once in Charleston, I again posted to the facebook group to see if anyone else was at the airport and needed a ride with us. Emily, famously known by most Edel-ers as “the lady who traveled all the way from Guam with a 2 month old” met us at baggage claim with a car seat strapped to her back and a baby strapped to her front (I really should’ve taken a picture!) and we clandestinely hailed an Uber driver. Yes, at the airport, where it’s not allowed. Shh, don’t tell.
I had previously found some roommates-slash-strangers on the facebook group and texted once at the hotel, but no one had checked in yet. One roommate, Sheila, was at the nearby nail salon getting a pedicure, which sounded like a fantastic idea to me – so Ginny (my new Edel BFF) and I met her there and got our nails did too.
Shoe front photo credit goes to Candace H.
I’m so glad I got a pedicure because that evening at the Cocktails & Crazy shoes mixer event, my shoes, and therefore my toes, received quite a bit of attention. So, story of my shoes: When I first booked my Edel ticket, terrified and awkward and unsure if it was really something I should do or not, for some crazy reason, I swear an image of these crazy grass shoes just popped into my head. From nowhere. Seriously, it was weird. But either way, right from that very beginning moment I knew what my shoes would look like. I even planned my dress around my shoes…though I don’t think I ever took a picture of my in my dress. I really should have been better about taking pictures.
What was really awesome about this Edel event is that everyone who was there, everyone, came from the same awkward don’t-get-out-of-the-house-and-away-from-my-kids world. So even though WE ALL kind of wanted to just hide in our hotel rooms, we all had to push ourselves to be social…and talking to everyone, anyone, felt very easy and smooth. Sure, there were some “big names” there in the “Catholic mom blog world”, but there were also a lot of normal moms who just wanted a weekend to hang out and have a break. It was all very, very comfortable. This didn’t surprise me much, as I’d read many people’s blogs about last year’s Edel, but it was surprising how much I just went with it and how comfortable I felt being exactly who I was. There was no show of being cooler than I was, no hiding of awkwardness, just me. And that was awesome.
After the Cocktails & Crazy Shoes party, I joined a big group of women in the hotel bar. I met a couple girls from Texas, one who even had been college roommates with a girl I’d played high school basketball with. I didn’t hide the fact that I wasn’t a Catholic, and no one seemed bothered by it and I still felt accepted. Conversation flowed freely – good conversation. There was no watching what I’m saying to make sure I didn’t sound weird. I just talked. I guess I was already a bit of an outsider, not being Catholic and all, so I didn’t really care what people thought of me? I don’t know, but whatever it was, it was nice feeling free to be true to myself.
Saturday morning, I woke up to my roommates getting ready for the day. One of them mentioned that the water was out. No sink. No shower. No flushing toilet. “Can I at least pee in the toilet?” I asked. “Um, sure, but you might not want to look down”. It was port-o-potty style.
no shower hairstyle
To be honest, I like camping, and I’m really not a huge complainer – not to mention that in light of many things in the world that could be happening instead, not being able to flush a hotel bathroom for a few hours is not the worst thing. –Worth nothing here is that from our hotel window we could see the steeple of the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church, the church where that awful shooting was last month.– So seriously, no running water paled in comparison.
(and yes, I should have taken a picture out our hotel room window. Photo-documenting my trip was clearly not high on my to-do list at this point.)
Grabbing some free water bottles left in cases by the elevators on each floor, Ginny and I walked to the Farmer’s Market across the street, where we grabbed breakfast and met up with some new friends. After hanging out on the grass (and humid heat, without any of us having showered) for a bit, a couple of us took a walk and do some nearby sightseeing. I felt a bit strange taking some pictures of the somber front steps of Emanuel AME Church, but in memory of the horrific event and the victims also felt as though I was remembering them, strangers I’d previously known nothing about, who now have impacted not only my life, but so many other’s lives as well. Life and death are such interesting things. We seldom stop to think about the beauty of being alive in this given moment except when confronted with the possibility of our life being taken away from us.
As we walked down the historic streets of downtown Charleston, I started kicking myself that I hadn’t thought to arrive earlier so I could explore more. I love history. I love being surrounded by old homes and walking on old brick walkways. I love the sense of sharing a snapshot of the present alongside with a ghost of whomever walked that very sidewalk before me. Perhaps due to my brief stint hobbying in living history/reenacting, but I have a very strong appreciation for all those who’ve lived before me in previous time periods. The past often feels but a thinly veiled and concurrent dimension of our own current present.
When we got back to the hotel, the water was still out. I checked the facebook group and our twitter hashtag (oh the wonders of social media and cell phones) and saw that water was still out for everyone else too. Even though it was in the 90s and crazy humid, one thing that I REALLY appreciated was that in this group of women – this no water thing was no big deal. I mean, yeah, we all knew it was an inconvenience, but we all just rolled with the punches. There was no complaining or whining about it. As Catholics, they all knew to look at the current situation in perspective, and as moms (many of them with 4+ kids) they all knew how to deal with what they’ve been given.
But I kept thinking that had I been with any other group of people, or this had been a production crew staying at the hotel – that I’d never hear the end of the complaining. Everyone would be upset and everyone would talk about the water situation and there’d be an overwhelming feeling of negativity hovering over everything. But I think all of us moms were just so. dang. excited. to be there without kids that we didn’t let the no water thing stop us from enjoying our time together. (but yes, we did all end up getting our rooms comped for Friday night)
There were some talks that afternoon, and official registration, and looking at vendor tables, and I managed to find a short window when there was water to take a quick rinse-off shower (no hair wash, as evidenced in the upcoming pictures of my hair that evening :)). I also got a away briefly to write a 7 Quick Takes post.
After a delicious dinner that I wished I’d been quick enough to get seconds on, we listened to a keynote speaker (Audrey Assad, for those who might know that name) and then dancing and karaoke.
Uber Friends: Emily from Guam w/baby, Ginny, and Me
Two of my 3 Roommates, Lois, Me and Elizabeth (who blogs A http://thebuerglers.com)
CWBN California friends I’d met back in April! Me, Laura (http://ourjourneytoheavencontinued.blogspot.com) and Micaela (http://californiatokorea.com)
Me with a mom named Jaclyn, who’s from San Antonio, and has a super cute toddler.
Mom party cocktail table.
I’ve never been much of a dancer, but that fact doesn’t bother me. So I mostly just stood on the side, with my drink, and watched or talked to people. But I was happy.
Over on the side of the ballroom, Jennifer Fulwiler and Hallie Lord, the two organizers of the event, stood talking to people as they came up to them. (Hallie, by the way, was 40weeks+1day pregnant at this point, but STILL hosting the event. Props to her!) Considering their “fame” within the Catholic blogging world, it’s no wonder they practically had a reception line of people waiting to talk to them the entire evening. Still, I toyed with the idea of saying hello, but didn’t want to be annoying, so I almost didn’t. But toward the very end of the evening, I finally went over to them. Jennifer exclaimed, as she saw me, “Screenwriter’s Wife, right?!” as though she knew who I was. I mean, I DID have my blog name at the bottom of my name tag, but either way, it made me feel like she at least knew who I was, and that was appreciated.
I thanked them both (and yes, they knew I was one of the non-Catholic 1.3%, but oh well, they sill talked to me ) and let them know how nice it was to be in a place where I surprising felt so comfortable, even as a bit of an outsider. I got a quick phone pic with Hallie before they needed to move to the next person waiting to talk to them. I’m sure it was tiring for both Jen and Hallie to talk to so many people that night, but I really appreciated that they took the time to do so. And that they put forth all the effort to put the Edel Gathering event together at all.
After karaoke and dancing, I once again joined a big group of women in the hotel bar. It was here that I discovered the only other non-Catholic Edeler I’d end up meeting at the event. The conversation in our little group ended up turning a bit theological, which I enjoyed and slightly encouraged. <img src="http://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/72x72/1f609.png" alt="