I put debate in quotes up there because lately it’s more of an ugly shouting match with both sides screaming that the other side is evil, stupid, ignorant, deliberately and knowingly hurting children, oh, and evil.
I’m going to open by stating that I am not a doctor. I am not an infectious disease specialist. I have no medical training and the last biology class I took was in high school. I have basic working knowledge of germ theory. I know how vaccines work – the vast majority of them involve putting a weakened, mutated, dead or disabled version of the virus into your blood to create an immune response and “teach” your body how to fight off the real thing without actually infecting you with the disease and making you sick.
I have, however, done a lot of independent research into the issue of vaccines, because I have two kids and I am a pretty conscientious parent. My husband and I read a number of books – both pro-vaccine and anti-vaccine – and talked with a number of doctors and other experts before reaching any decisions about vaccines. We continue to talk, research and pay attention because there are still choices to be made.
For us, it was never an “all or nothing” one time only choice. We understood from the beginning that there was wiggle room to say yes to some, no to others and always to change our minds and say yes later, or say no to boosters if there were in fact adverse effects.
Here’s a brief summary of what we learned on our journey:
Most vaccines in themselves are relatively safe. That said, not all vaccines are safe for all people. Some people are born with underlying conditions that make it unsafe for them to get certain vaccines. Some of these conditions are easily identifiable at a well baby exam, some of them aren’t obvious/can’t be known until after a child has had their first shot and has a serious reaction. When that happens, future booster shots are contraindicated and withheld. Of course by then the damage is often done, and trying to get compensated for any harm done to the child is nearly impossible, despite the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program, which was put in place less to compensate harmed children and more to protect vaccine manufacturers and maintain a reliable and consistent supply of vaccines.
We further learned that for the vaccines with the highest reaction rates, those reaction rates decreased significantly if the vaccines were delayed from the CDC ideal schedule by 6 months to a year depending on the vaccine.
Now, as far as we could tell, both of our kids were born healthy. Both my husband and myself were/are fully vaccinated (minus the new seasonal flu crap and other recent “fad” vaccines.) That said, when our first child was born they wanted to start vaccinating her before she even left the hospital. Before she was even a full day old. That seemed overly ridiculous to both of us.
Everything we had read about infant development told us that she didn’t even have an immune system to activate at that early stage, so at best the shot was being wasted, at worst we were shooting our brand new baby up with aluminum salts, formaldehyde, neomycin and sulfa drugs (which my husband IS allergic to!) which are all present in every shot of every vaccine.
We passed.
We were told that we had just signed the death warrant for our child, that we were evil, stupid and uncaring parents. We were also told that we deserved to watch her die a horrible death and that maybe we would vaccinate our next child, but that in the doctor’s opinion we shouldn’t even be allowed to have another child as we were clearly unfit parents.
All because we didn’t want her to get her first vaccine on the day of her birth.
I have to say – to those of you who want to clobber the anti-vaxxers, saying shit like that will not help win anyone over to your side of the fence. In fact, it will push people further away and make them much more reluctant to come to you for information, support or help should they reconsider.
As for us, we had planned out our child’s vaccine schedule before we gave birth to her. We are not anti-vaxxers, we are middle of the road, considered, thoughtful, informed… partial vaxxers? Is that a word? Because again, in this debate all I ever hear is for or against. But there is room for nuance.
In our research the thing we kept coming back to was that – by and large, for most people – vaccines do work. BUT there is a risk involved. That risk can be significantly lessened by postponing the start of vaccines and by spreading them out over time.
See, aside from wanting to stick the first needle into a baby on their first day out of the womb – at the second appointment, the CDC would like doctors to stick them with 6 NEEDLES containing a whopping 8 vaccines. And this is when your child is only 2 months old.
CDC Vaccine Schedule, including some for mom!
During this time in an infant’s development – their immune system is at its weakest! Seriously. Up until then infants immune systems are relying on their mothers – first by using the limited antibodies that passed through the placenta, and then – IF the child is being breastfed, through the antibodies passed through the breastmilk. This is called “passive immunity” because the infant is not creating their own antibodies or immune responses, they are passively receiving them from their mom.
At two to three months, the level of antibodies being passed from the mom via breastmilk decreases dramatically as the infant begins, slowly, to create their own. So, during this two-three month age, an infant’s immune system is at its weakest while it shifts from its mom’s passed on immunity to its own brand new immune system. And this is when the doctors would like to hit them with 8 brand new viruses all at once! Weakened, disabled, mutated viruses – yes – but still – that’s a hell of a load for a brand new system just starting to get online. And if it’s flu season, cold season, whatever season – this brand new immune system is already working to figure out how to deal with those active illnesses.
It’s really not a huge wonder that vaccine reactions are higher with this schedule than if parents wait until their child is 6 months old to being immunization. See, at 6 months old – healthy babies have fully functioning “mature” immune systems. And unhealthy kids, who maybe shouldn’t be getting immunized to begin with – well, it’s more apparent by that age that immunization isn’t a good idea and severe, life changing reactions can also be reduced.
I remember talking to our daughter’s pediatrician the first time they met. I asked her about this research that we had done and the conclusion that we came to. For the record, our doctor was VERY pro-vaccine, but she was also pro-informed consent. She said it was her understanding that the CDC had set the vaccine schedule up the way they had because parents were already bringing their children in for well child exams, so it reduced patient visits and increased the chances of parents fully immunizing their children. If they waited to get started at 6 months, and spread the shots out over more visits, they lost parents. It became more expensive (every office visit costs, remember), parents became more selective about which vaccines they wanted and total vaccine rates dropped.
However, if you started vaccinating the infant at birth and gave them a shot, or 6, at every well baby visit – it kept the parents coming back and made the parents feel like something had been done for their child at the visit.
(Like when otherwise intelligent doctors prescribe antibiotics for viral illnesses. The antibiotics won’t help, but the patient wants the doctor to DO SOMETHING. So, they do, even though they know the consequences of that action are ultimately worse for society than the consequences of inaction.)
Thus even if the first batch of vaccines was effectively wasted, the end goal of having fully vaccinated children was achieved. No harm no foul. Except of course for those few kids who had severe reactions. But, you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet and all that.
This rationale for the CDC’s immunization schedule has been repeated to us by several pediatric doctors as we moved across the country with our kids and struggled to find a good doctor in our new home state. (We’re still looking.)
So – the schedule that is in place is not there because it is the most effective, risk free way to treat children, but because it is the most convenient for doctors and the most effective at keeping parents in line. In other words – it’s a political schedule, not a medical one.
My husband and I have believed all along that the immunization debate is, at heart, about mitigating risk. Weighing the risk of the disease – from catching it to living through it or with it – against the risk of the vaccine and living through – or with – any possible adverse reaction.
In doing our research we learned that not all vaccines are created equal. They do not all come with equal risk/benefit ratios. So, we broke them down one by one and created our own vaccine schedule for our children, starting when they were 9 months old. We also agreed they would never, never get more than two shots at a time. And that was assuming that each shot contained only one vaccine. If it was a combo shot – then it was one at a time, spaced at least a month apart. MMR would not happen until our children were two when the risk of severe reaction dropped to negligible levels in healthy kids. There were also a couple of vaccines that we decided to postpone indefinitely, believing that we could get them later if we needed to.
Because of this amended and drawn out schedule, our kids were not quite fully immunized to CDC standards when we packed them up and moved them across the country. We still had a couple of doses of a couple of vaccines to go.
When we landed in our new state, it took us a while to find a doctor who was willing to work with us to complete the schedule on our terms. Unfortunately, when I lost my corporate job, and my corporate insurance, she was no longer available to see us.
I have tried several times to get my kids their last round of shots. But only that last round. Nothing added. No seasonal flu shot. No extra doses of this or that.
Each and every time I have made the appointment (At three different doctor’s offices including one trip to the public health department because they claim they want children vaccinated.) I have been yelled at, shamed, told I was a terrible parent, threatened, told social services should take my children away from me (sometimes this was said in front of my children, who were already freaked out about getting shots and became quite scared that they would be taken from me.) all because I had DELAYED getting them fully vaccinated.
In each case, rather than using the appointment time to actually VACCINATE my children like I was asking them to do, they chose instead to use it to berate, shame and threaten me. And in each case I ended up leaving the office at the end of my hour with my still not fully vaccinated children in tow, angry tears streaming down my face, promising my children we would eventually find a doctor willing to work with us again. We haven’t. I hate even thinking about trying again. I’m not sure it’s worth it.
Now – imagine I was a true anti-vaxxer. Imagine I truly believed that vaccinating my children put them at more risk than not vaccinating them. Imagine then that something changed my mind, that something made me decide to get my kids vaccinated – whether for the full spectrum of childhood threats or for only a few. (Such as my friend who planned to take her child to a developing nation with high rates of a few diseases. She was hoping to get her son vaccinated for just those threats. Note the word hoping. Last I heard she was given the choice between all or nothing.)
Being treated in this way would likely remind me of all the reasons I distrusted the medical profession and big pharma in the first place. It would likely push me right back out of the office. After all, these are people who are already there reluctantly, quite likely looking for an excuse to back out. Why give them one?
If someone who actually WANTS to finish vaccinating their children can be bullied out of the office in tears by people who claim to want to vaccinate said children, imagine what it must be like for someone who is truly on the fence, or who came in for information hoping that the doctor would tip the scales for them one way or the other. Or someone who is rebelling against their community of fellow anti-vaxxers and is already feeling scared and vulnerable. Being shamed, lectured, threatened and yelled at is most likely going to push them back to their supportive, nurturing community, tail between their legs – another horror story to add to the list and validation in their hearts for refusing to see “those doctors.”
When I read tweets or articles yelling at anti-vaxxers, calling them monsters or evil, saying they shouldn’t be allowed to have children – I get really upset, because all of those things have been said about me. All because I did my research and made my own informed decisions about what was best for my children.
I don’t get mad at parents who choose to follow the CDC schedule. I don’t shame them or ridicule them. They are doing what I did – making the best possible choice for their children and their family using the information they had available to them. I do not fault any parent for taking care of their children to the best of their ability.
I don’t get mad at parents who reject all vaccinations either. They too are making the best choice they can for their family with the information they have. If they ask me for information or an opinion, as some have – I tell them what I learned in my research, on my quest. But I don’t try to convince them that my answers are the right answers. They were simply MY answers.
It is my belief that very few parents want to deliberately hurt their children or would knowingly, deliberately put their children at risk. Looking at the debate through that lens, it’s easier to be compassionate for everyone on every side of this issue. We are all looking out for our families first. Then, if we are able, we look out for our wider communities.
Personally, I think if the pro-vaccine folk want to win more people to their side, they should perhaps stop alienating us and calling us monsters and baby killers. Just a thought.
And when one of us does walk in and ask for some vaccines, how about just saying yes? Save the lecture. We’re here, you won. You can gloat when we leave if it makes you feel better, but while we’re there – just give us the damn shot. If it doesn’t kill us, who knows, maybe we’ll come back for more.
