A reader recently wrote us asking for help navigating the engagement ring market. The way he phrased the question shows you just how complex and intimidating a first look at this market can be: “I’m expecting to get taken for a ride here, but some navigation on the like seven different measures of quality on diamonds would be amazing. Do I buy online? Should I avoid chain jewelers? Should I only buy from chain jewelers?”
Shopping research is for nerds
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I’m writing this reply to him about a month after getting engaged, and I recently asked many of the same questions myself. Up front, I should say that I’m not an expert in this field, I’ve never worked in the jewelry business, and my qualifications for writing this come mainly from the weeks I spent researching my own purchase earlier this year. The first thing I learned? Buying a diamond is hard. It’s generally an expensive purchase, full of obscure terminology and unclear answers, and the only “experts” are also the ones trying to sell you something. What’s worse, you’ve never had to purchase anything like this before. It’s a good combination to make you feel a bit like a rube.
Almost everyone teaching you about diamonds is also trying to sell you diamonds.
To answer the question, I spoke with David Whipple and his small team of jewelers who I trusted with my own ring. Whipple has been in business for decades and is well-respected within the industry. I also spoke with representatives of online jewelry retailer Brilliant Earth to better understand the somewhat brave new world of online ring shopping.
I hope the following can help.
Where should I buy my diamond?
You’ll probably want to avoid the major chain jewelers like Jared/Kay/Signet/Zales. Signet was in the news several times over the summer for losing rings or replacing quality stones with inferior ones during cleaning and sizing. Signet says these incidents were rare. The point is: Every bit of advice on the Internet that I’ve found suggests to avoid the big retail chain stores. That’s not to say that local jewelers are perfect either—but with a smaller shop you are more likely to have a personal relationship with the jeweler and to know who’s choosing and setting the stone, that person’s qualifications, and who to turn to with problems down the line. But regardless, you have to trust someone with this investment, and invariably that person will know more than you, which is not a great position to be in. Almost everyone teaching you about diamonds is also trying to sell you diamonds or push you to someone who sells diamonds. It’s unavoidable.
A gold ring straight from casting looks a lot rougher than you’d expect.
The best thing you can do to educate yourself and make a satisfying buy is to read reviews carefully and go with your gut instinct. For local recommendations, Yelp, neighborhood email lists, or neighborhood Facebook posts can all be great places to turn. You may also want to ask friends for names of jewelers they’ve had good experiences with. Go to a place that’ll give you lifetime repairs and cleaning if you can.
Once you’ve settled on a jeweler, here are some additional details to find out:
Does your jeweler do their own work in the shop? It’s a good sign if they do.
How long have they worked in the business? If they’re new, do they have business or apprenticeship references?
Are they insured? If so, by who? Can you find out information about this insurer?
The GIA (Gemological Institute of America) certifies diamond appraisers. It’s not necessary to work with a certified appraiser, because your diamond should come with its own certificate, but some jewelers have completed these courses and that extra knowledge can be reassuring.
Where does your jeweler source their other metals from? Do they use an independent metal assayer to assure their metal blends are what they say they are? Regardless, you should get your finished ring independently appraised.
Always shop around and walk away from anything that feels like a hard sell.
You can also purchase your diamonds online. I originally bought a diamond online and was overall very happy with the experience. I purchased a loose stone from Brilliant Earth. The site’s interface was simple to use. Slider bars allowed me to set my desired criteria and select among its stock of diamonds that fit the grade. I could also see the diamond’s origin and the certifying authority. Brilliant Earth provides a 30-day money-back guarantee with free return shipping that you can use once on any item that isn’t custom made, including loose stones. It’s an option I exercised and it was remarkably painless.
If you aren’t comfortable with a loose stone, you can also choose a fully set ring, though it introduces even more variables, and the full ring may not be exactly what you expected from the images. A loose stone, on the other hand, should have enough stats to go on (e.g., rating, size, color, cut) to add up to a fairly predictable object.
One reason I went with a site like Brilliant Earth (another option was Blue Nile) is that both work to avoid conflict diamonds and to support responsible mining methods. From what I’ve read, these sources are trustworthy—but I’m no expert, and as this feature in Time magazine points out, it’s very complicated and hard to know who to believe. If you’re determined to have an ethically sourced diamond that avoids conflict and unfair labor practices, and is at least somewhat environmentally conscious, diamonds mined in Canada and synthetic diamonds are your best options.
Get to know your local jeweler, they may make your visit a memorable one.
What are the four C’s?
Every aspect for the so-called four C’s (five, actually, once you include cost) is complex, which seems by design. I’ve prioritized the four C’s, in accordance with advice from the jewelers at David Whipple Jewelry.
Cost: Don’t kid yourself, a diamond is not an investment. It is a retail product. It rarely gains value, and if you need to sell it, you probably won’t be able to get what you paid for it. Figure out what you can afford before you consider anything else and stick to that number! Don’t worry about the “X-months’ salary” multiplier figure that says you should spend between one- to three-months’ salary on a ring. That was all a marketing gimmick from diamond company De Beers anyway.
A diamond’s color is its most important characteristic.
Color: Brilliance, or sparkle, is the heart of a diamond. According to the jewelers at David Whipple, a diamond’s color is its most important characteristic. Color is graded on a scale of D through Z. A higher grade of color (e.g., D through F) will more than make up for any other corners you decide to cut elsewhere. One thing to consider, the type of metal you want to make your ring out of may change your decision. For instance, slightly colored (and slightly less expensive) diamonds graded G through I could be complemented and enhanced by a yellow-gold setting. But be especially aware of anyone trying to sell you a so-called “Champagne Diamond”; these are often inferior stones.
Clarity: Clarity is a measure of what types of “inclusions” (flaws) are visible in the stone and is graded on a scale from Flawless (FL) through Included (I₃) . Most people can’t discern a difference between the top grades of diamond clarity with the naked eye. A Flawless (FL) diamond and a Very Slightly Included (VS₂) diamond can look nearly identical, despite a VS₂ diamond being several grades lower in clarity. Save your money by shaving off a few points here. However, a diamond’s brilliance is directly related to its clarity, so don’t go too far down the scale.
Cut: The cut of a diamond expresses how well that stone reflects light through its crown. According to the GIA, “Of all the diamond 4Cs, it is the most complex and technically difficult to analyze.” Though this characteristic used to be the most important, most original cutting is done by machine now and calculated to be as high a grade as the raw stone will allow. The standardization removes much of the guesswork. And although it’s tempting, my advice is to not get too bogged down in the details of proportion. Focus on the rating grade, but don’t freak out about all the ways that grade is achieved. Excellent is best, of course, but a fair or good diamond will still shine brightly if the color and clarity grades are high.
Carat: This is the easiest C to reduce. A diamond does not need to be large to be beautiful. If you can, avoid the price jumps at full and half carat marks. You won’t be able to tell the difference between a .95 and a 1 carat diamond or a .48 and .50 carat. This printout from Brilliant Earth (PDF) accurately represents diamond size and carat weight and can help guide your decision.
What about conflict diamonds?
Ethical and sustainably sourced diamonds were once much rarer to find. But, as more and more retailers move in this direction, you have almost no excuse for not knowing your diamond’s origin, and the additional associated costs for that knowledge are negligible. The Kimberley Process Certification was devised in 2003 to end the trade of so-called “conflict diamonds.” Eighty countries currently participate in the process. The Kimberley process has flaws, though. It can still be evaded by diamond smugglers, and the limited scope of “conflict-free” certification ignores unfair, unsafe, or inhumane mining practices, which are still a problem within the industry.
Last year, Time magazine wrote a cover story about the diamond trade and the steps taken to avoid conflict diamonds and outlined the issues that remain within the industry. This excellent advice column explains how to buy ethical diamonds beyond the limited scope of Kimberley Process Certification.
Alternatives exist as well. Cubic zirconia or Moissanite stones are well-known. But lab-grown, or synthetic, diamonds are also becoming popular as both ecologically and ethically sound alternatives to mined diamonds. It’s easy to know the source of a diamond grown in a lab. Though they take energy to produce, it’s significantly less energy than goes into diamond mining. Depending on size and characteristics, they may be notably cheaper than a mined diamond, too.
David Whipple at his workbench bending the elements.
What about shape and settings?
Shape can also affect a diamond’s brilliance. But because that’s largely a matter of personal preference we’re not going to dive too deeply into it. If you want to know more about the pros and cons of each of the 10 most common cuts, Lumera Diamonds has a remarkably clear explanation here. Rounds are the industry standard though and tend to be the most brilliant. They are usually used as the example shape in online presentations and are the easiest to resell.
As for settings, prong settings (or Tiffany settings) are very popular, in part because they show off the complete body of the diamond. But they’re not the most secure, and they need to be periodically tightened and realigned (a reputable jeweler should do this for you free of charge as part of the purchase), to reduce the risk of the diamond coming loose.
Although people can argue the aesthetics, a bezel setting is simply the most secure setting. If you have an active lifestyle, are worried about losing a stone, or paranoid about your stone being swapped out by an unscrupulous jeweler, this is your best option. According to Whipple, “A skilled jeweler can swap a diamond out of a prong setting in a matter of minutes. A bezel could take hours.”
Invisible settings are the weakest of all. They are difficult to mount and difficult to repair, and you’re practically begging to lose stones from this kind of setting. If you’re determined to buy an invisible setting, make sure you have a lifetime guarantee. You’re going to need it.
If you’re not 100 percent sure of the band or setting your partner would like, some jewelers will mount the diamond in a solitaire band for free, and you and your intended can go ring shopping together to pick something that’ll be perfect.
What are all these ratings and agencies, and who is GIA?
Any reputable dealer will be able to provide you with a diamond rating from an independent lab. GIA (Gemological Institute of America) is known as the standard and most trustworthy lab in existence. It, along with De Beers, is also the pioneer of the four C’s, which sought to create an international grading language for diamonds.
Labs AGS and EGL USA, though also used by the wholesale industry to rate diamonds, are not considered as irrefutable as GIA. This probably won’t be an issue because most sellers offer GIA reports for their diamonds, but it is something to be aware of.
Ready to propose?
For stealth, if you’re considering a proposal that will require you to carry the ring somewhere, these slim ring boxes are becoming popular and are easy to conceal.
The one thing I wish I did before the proposal was practice a little bit. I didn’t think about how tongue-tied I would become as I knelt down looking up at the person I loved. I had a world of things to say but managed only, “Will you marry me?”
Apparently, it was enough.
(Photos by Caleigh Waldman.)