My little Dennis the Menace is five years old today. I thought I would do an ol recap down Memory Lane and talk about that day a little bit.
My friend Royal from Royal Proclaims does this linkup on Mondays called Monday Memoirs where you can share a short or long story and linkup with others. Royal is coming to St. Louis in a few weeks and we are going to a blogging conference together. I relate to her a lot because we are both working moms, just trying to fake it until we make it. She's witty, nice, and less crazy that moi. If you haven't read her blog before, please go check it out HERE. 
I'd like to call this short story...
The Time I Gave Birth to a Nine Pound Nine Ounce Baby Without Drugs: Tales of a Whale's Vag*na.
I should probably write out the whole beginning of the story for this all to make sense. But anyone who has read this blog for any amount of time, probably can piece together that I was a hot mess. Possibly a slore.
The cliffnotes version goes something like this... I got pregnant with Haven, I was a 140 pound vegetarian. Chris and I had only been together for five months. We had a tiny, one bedroom apartment, in a complex where we were the only people not from Mumbai. I live and breathe for yellow curry, but you could understand why that is the last thing you want to smell cooking any minute of the day during your first trimester.
As soon as I got my appetite back, I craved meat.
Every night after work, I would make Chris go to this super trashy bar called Hot Shots. I would request a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich with a side of mayo. I would sit on the couch every night, eat my PCS sandwich, dip it in mayo, eat my fries, wash it down with a Dr. Pepper, then get started on a container of Loft House cookies. You know those big white, soft cookies, with different color icing, depending on the holiday.
I remember one night, one of Chris's friends came over. He was like. " oh, can I have one of these?" I didn't say anything. And Chris was all like "sure, man! blah blah blah." His friend took TWO. That only left me with 8 to get through the next 24 hours. I remember telling Chris, after his friend left, that those weren't his cookies to give away.
I am sure a bit of it was probably depression, maybe a pregnancy funk, everything changing at once. But I covered up any kind of emotion, good or bad, with food.
I went from 140 pounds to 220 pounds, the day I gave birth to Haven. Things looked a little something like this:
There is very little I would like to say about the actual birth itself. I was induced that morning on a Fat Tuesday, about a week before my actual due date, since I was measuring the size of Neptune. Even with the doctor breaking my water and starting the potosin, I wasn't progressing very much during the day. About five hours in, I decided I was ready for an epidural. Anytime I see needles, I also see Jesus, so I don't remember the exact complications. But after the first try, it was assumed that I had a bad reaction (fever, chills, blood pressure dropping, etc), so they removed the drip.
Haven didn't come for another 8 hours after that, when any kind of numbness had been completely restored. People often wonder what it's like naturally delivering a child without drugs. It feels like shitting out a cinder block. 
Regardless, this Grinch's heart grew 59 sizes that day. Do you know how the years of the world are classified as BC and AC, or what some people refer to as Before Christ and After Christ? I feel like there was the Holly before Haven and the Holly after Haven. And in the most cliche way possible, he really is my sunshine. He is my funny, animated, sweet, and theatrical. I had no idea that such a big baby would change my life in such a profound way.
Last night, Chris took him to the grocery store to pick out cupcakes to take to his class today. Chris called me while they were there and said that Haven wanted to bring those Loft House cookies to school instead of cupcakes. I smiled and thought about the time I almost kicked his dad out of our apartment for giving two away.
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While you're jumping around today, please check out these two ladies!
Sara from Sara Magdalena is like the artistic, kid-less version of me. If that means, we both like painting our nails and drinking beer. But seriously, Sara's nail art is better than anything I see on pinerest. She is extremely talented and needs to catch her big break as a hand model. Sara lives in Nebraska and also blogs about her love of craft beer. Please go check out her page HERE and be sure add her on instagram (@brewsandpolish).
Candra from Camo and Lipstick is one of my faves! I can't tell you how many times we have commented/emailed, "me too!" about the most bizarre things. Candra is a mom to two kids and is documenting her fitness journey. She hosts a linkup on Friday's called "Follow Through Friday's" where people can hold each other accountable for their fitness goals. You should head over and check out Candra's blog HERE and be sure to follow her on instagram (@camonlipstick).
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Birthday party recap tomorrow!
Happy Monday!
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