I'm a creature of habit. Plus I'm actually lazy. Some of you may think I'm not lazy, but I really am. I'd rather be rich and have every command done for me as requested. But since I'm not rich, I have to do my own stuff. In doing so, I tend to revert back to laziness and do the minimal. That is not good. My only saving grace is that I have the ability to think things through and demand better of myself, even when it is uncomfortable.
Years ago, I got into financial trouble with taxes. I have to file monthy sales tax reports and quarterly payroll withholdings. I hate paperwork and tried paying an accountant. It seemed like I was doing just as much work and it was costig me, so I made up my mind to resolve this constant thorn in my side. I feared getting the nasty letters from the State and IRS. Many times I would avoid them and throw them away... not good. But one day I got so upset that I started drinking and got really drunk. (I'm not a drinker and rarely get drunk.) When I woke up from my stuper I decided that that was the final straw. My pain became so great that I needed to change. But how? How do I break a old habits and do something I don't like to do? Well, I made little changes. I started with the State taxes. I had a meeting with the department and I sat down and worked with them to define what what required of me. Boy it was a sweat under the arms day as my anxiety was at it's peak. But my fears were unfounded. They were pleasant and worked with me. I had lived in fear over what could have been easily resolved. So from that moment on I made the decision in my head that I am never going back to that. I'm never gonna live like that again. So, for the first few months, it would take me 3-4 hours of fguring out the paperwork. I hated it, but knew that one day I would get over it. I kept at it. Each month it became easier and quicker. And not only did the nasty letters stop, but when they did come, I opened them and resolved the issue, rather than avoid. It's become such a habit now that a couple months ago, I got a letter saying I owed like $600+ for an accounting error on sales tax. Since I had been on top of my game, I knew that that was their error, and that I had paid properly. So I went and showed them the information. Turns out I had paid properly and that letter was sent in error. So it went from fearing them to tackling them without hesitation. I knew I had reached a point where I will never return. I won't ever go back to where I had been before.
Then I tackled payroll taxes. Same thing. I tackled a bit at a time to where it was not uncomfortable any longer. I paid on time and the nasty letters stopped. By the way, I figured up how much it cost me to be habitually late. In 2012 I paid over 4K in penalties and fines. 2013- zero! And now I feel so much better. It was a huge burden that I carried. Now it is child's play. The anxiety has stopped. The fear is gone.
What happens when habits change is that life changes. Little changes lead to huge results. To have change, one has to make change.
Now, to tie things up with koi. My QT project. For over two years, I lived in fear on adding new koi. I lived in fear that I wasn't prepared for anything bad. Well, turns out that I made a costly error and killed off a bunch of koi. That was the final staw for me. At that moment I resolved in my head that I am never going back there. I was going to make a little change that would have a huge impact. Sure it takes being uncomforatable. Sure it takes time, energy and money. But I was willing to make that change. So now I am building a permanent QT pond. I won't have to live in fear anymore.
Make a small change in your life. Maybe koi, maybe spiritually, maybe finacially, maybe relationship. Whatever is bothering you- know that you have the ability to make change. Know that you can do it. It may, and will likely be, uncomfortable. But remember that living with a burden is uncomfortable too. In fact living with a burden is all consuming. It saps the life from you. Wonder why you are tired and have no energy? It's the burdens weighing you down. When you get rid of the burden, you will gain the energy back. Believe me on that.
Make little changes and watch your life change. It doesn't have to be all or none. It doesn't have to be a huge leap of faith. Just a little change and you'll be surprised. If you're anyway like me, you may even find that once you make that small change, you'll want to keep going as the reward is so great. You'll begin to make little changes everywhere. Once you see that you control your own destiny, you'll wonder why you didn't make changes long ago.
Little changes go a long way- both in Life and in Koi.