The views expressed herein are those of the author and not necessarily those of The New Agenda.
What are we teaching our daughters? The moment they are born they begin learning. One of the first things they learn is that they have a voice. It doesn’t take them long to realize that if they use it when they’re hungry, tired, or need their diaper changed, someone will listen and respond to what they need and give them what they want.
They will continue to use their voice as they grow, but they’ll soon reach a point where it isn’t as effective.
The Voice
When my daughter hit the “terrible two’s,” suddenly I was having to teach her new behaviors, such as sharing without throwing a temper tantrum, that biting another child was a big “no-no,” and that using her voice, no matter how loud, didn’t mean she would get her way. I knew it was time to teach her how to use her voice in more effective ways.
People Pleaser
As she grew older, I taught her to show respect, avoid conflict, and care about others. I would say, “You’ll get more flies with honey!” Then one day I realized I was teaching her to be a “people pleaser” and that would not adequately prepare her for her future.
Forbes agrees that we should teach our daughters to be well-mannered and polite. However, their website also stresses, “There’s a fine line between being well-behaved and being a doormat.”
I certainly didn’t want my daughter to be a doormat. I wanted to empower her to be herself and reassure her that it was okay to voice her opinion and respectfully disagree with others. In other words, I needed to teach my daughter again how to use her voice so that she would be heard.
Empowered Woman
One of the reasons teenage girls have a low self-esteem is because they are afraid to express their emotions. It is important that we convey to our daughters that their feelings are important. According to Momeo Magazine, “By teaching our daughters how to recognize, own, and accept their feelings, we are teaching them to be empowered adults.”
What Mothers Can Do
We need to support and empower our girls to meet growing challenges of our times. Unfortunately, many mothers and daughters have become desensitized to how our society views women. Teen girls are influenced by the glamour they see in magazines or movies. Their self-esteem depends on their appearance and whether or not they are accepted by their “friends” instead of their accomplishments.
How can we prevent that from happening to our daughters?Family Magazine suggest several important ideas that will help our daughters feel empowered. Some of these include:
Encourage your daughter to set goals that will involve higher education.
Teach your daughter that she can do anything.
Encourage her to look for opportunities to be a leader in school or other activities, such as sports.
Tell her how much she is loved and teach her to love herself.
Help her learn how to handle disappointments and use them to make her a stronger woman.
Increase her confidence by allowing her to make solid choices for herself.
In a world where women are seen primarily as sex objects, it’s vital that we give our daughters the tools to be different. They see their friends going in a worldly direction. No doubt, it’s a very appealing and popular way to go, and there may be times of discouragement that our daughters will want to follow them. Encourage them to not give up. Show them that being a strong, empowered woman is even more appealing.
It is Never Too Late!
You may think you’re too late to steer your daughter in the right direction. But you’re not! You can begin now by becoming a role model for her to follow. Our daughters are watching us. Do you feel empowered? Does your daughter see your confidence and determination to reach your goals?
We can’t expect our girls to do something that we are not doing ourselves. Talk to her about your goals, and encourage her to set goals that will positively affect her future. And once again, remind her she has a voice and she should use it to take charge of her future.
Amy Williams is a journalist in Southern California. As a mother to a daughter of her own, she is constantly working to instill in her daughter a sense of empowerment and strength.